Fool Me Once, Shame On Me
by artemisfireflame
Summary: 21-year-old Sakura finds difficulty in recovering from Naruto's death. And as a conspiracy unfolds, everything she believes in becomes challenged by the people she holds dear. Can a kunoichi ever find happiness and peace?
1. Chapter 1

**Fool Me Once, Shame On Me**

**Chapter 1**

The only sounds in the small office were of the scratching of a pen and the rustling of papers. A dark pink head was bowed over piles of paperwork and green eyes were narrowed in concentration. The young woman didn't seem to notice, or care, that the air in the room was stifling; she simply sat at her desk and worked. To strangers, her concentration might have seemed like diligence and her beauty evident, but those who were more familiar with her might have noticed subtle, yet troubling details: the almost manic focus in her eyes, the tension in her shoulders, the dark circles marring her porcelain skin from countless nights of no sleep, and the fine wrinkles edging her mouth from constantly pressing her lips into a grim, thin line.

"Haruno-sama," called a frazzled nurse from the doorway. She was met with only a small, "Yes?" from the head still bent over her desk.

"There is a patient demanding to see you and refusing assistance from any of the other nurses," complained the medic, as she wiped the sweat from her forehead in exasperation.

Haruno Sakura's head snapped up sharply and turned to the exhausted woman standing in the doorway, as if she had been waiting for news… _Anything different…_ "Who's the patient?" she asked hurriedly.

The nurse referred to the clipboard she was carrying. "A jounin, Domyouji Jin."

The earnestness on the Sakura's face fell as abruptly as it came. Her delicate features slid behind a cool, disinterested façade, as if she were merely slipping into a much-worn sweater.

"He came in from a mission this morning—A-rank, I think," the nurse continued. "He'd suffered from only a couple of broken ribs, internal bleeding, and some bruising—nothing too serious. But he won't let any of the other nurses heal him. He's been constantly demanding for you and creating quite a ruckus. I'm afraid he's a disturbance to other patients' peace."

"I'll be right with you," Sakura said quietly. Her hands momentarily pressed against her eyes before she stood from her chair and made for the door.

_Get myself together… _

Sakura walked out to the green-walled hallway, grabbing the soft, worn white kimono wrap hanging from a hook by the door along the way. Pulling it over her red qipao dress and tight shorts, reminiscent of the outfit she wore as a genin but broken by a silk black obi belt, Sakura passed the nurse, her heels clicking on the wood-paneled floor in a steady rhythm—almost too steady for a woman who celebrated her twenty-first birthday only a few months ago.

The nurse followed, informing Sakura of the room number before falling back into silence. She studied Sakura's back: the waist-length pink hair tied into a low ponytail would distract a normal passerby's observations from the weary stoop of her posture. The nurse, however, wasn't fooled. She had been there the day Sakura and members of the Rookie 11 returned from Otogakure. Haruno-sama had not been the same ever since. The infamous medic-nin and head of Konoha's hospital had used to laugh, smile, and treat all her patients with a warmth and professionalism that soon had all of Konoha calling her "Sakura-hime." Could this stoic young woman in front of her really be the same person? The two medics turned a corner, and for the briefest second, as pink strands shifted, the nurse caught a glimpse of the two kanji emblazoned in dark green in the middle of Sakura's back: "shin" and "yuuki."

Believe and courage.

When they reached Room 445, the sight that greeted them wholeheartedly was a grown man running about the room, avoiding the efforts of the two nurses to calm him, and screaming at the top of his lungs like a 5-year-old child throwing a serious temper tantrum.

"Haruno-hime! I want to see Haruno-hime!" were the only intelligible words coming out of the man's mouth amidst the senseless babble frothing from his lips. Wasting no time, Sakura, in a flash, grabbed the man by the scruff of his hospital shirt and all but threw him back into his bed before restraining him with one hand at his chest, ignoring his flailing limbs. With her other hand, she quickly formed seals and pressed two fingers glowing with blue chakra to the man's temple. He immediately fell limp, although his eyes remained open and frantically rolled around in their sockets with a speed mimicking what his paralyzed arms and legs could no longer do. With one hand, Sakura gently turned the man's head towards her.

"Domyouji-san?" The man's eyes froze on her face. Beryl eyes gazed coolly back at him.

"You called for me, right? Haruno Sakura?"

The joy evident in the man's eyes made up for his inability to smile.

"Domyouji-san, you will be momentarily anesthetized so I can determine how to exactly heal you. I'm sorry for immobilizing you without warning, but for your condition, I think time is of the essence." Jin's face drew a blank and confusion was evident in his eyes.

"Jin-chan, you're going to go to sleep for a couple of minutes so I can see what's wrong with you, okay?" Sakura substituted, swallowing back nausea. She always hated baby talk. However, the corners of the man's eyes crinkled again in happiness. With the forefinger of her right hand glowing blue, she quickly tapped the center of the man's forehead. He was out in a light. Now with two hands glowing green, the left hovering over the man's chest and the right over his forehead, Sakura's eyes remained open, but glassy, as she performed a routine, though extremely thorough and efficient, checkup and healing session—a specifically formed network of her chakra she'd developed under the careful eye of her former shishou.

When she straightened after a minute, the nurses, who had been watching Sakura's movements avidly, snapped to attention. The nurse who had called Sakura from her office stepped up to her, looked at the prone body lying on the bed in confusion and said, "He wasn't like this when I last saw him. He was only asking for you, not reduced to the mind of a child's."

"Poison," was Sakura's simple response. "Delayed action, organic compounds, long-term effects—this man will need to stay here for a month after he's healed, in order for his central nervous system to reconnect to his peripheral nervous system. The formula is familiar, probably from Iwagakure." Sakura turned and held out a ball of green chakra in her hand, with a dark substance floating in the center. The nurse, her own hands glowing green, took the ball and looked at Sakura expectantly.

Sakura did not meet her eyes, but continued to stare at the floating fragment of poison. "I've already healed his physical injuries and removed the poison from his vital organs, so there's no more need for an external focus. Most of that poison you're holding," she said, indicating the glowing green ball, "was from his brain—what the poison was targeted to deteriorate. It was intended to erase his memory completely, his mission along with it, and since I gave him a check-up right before he left, I'm assuming I was his last conscious memory before it…" Sakura trailed off slightly, green eyes focusing inwards, before regaining the flow of her diagnosis. "Just get the antidote for this poison sample so whatever is left in his bloodstream can be neutralized. It should be simple—this is a very unrefined composition." The corners of her lips tightened slightly. "The makers were careless and hasty. They nearly destroyed this man's nervous system just to get at one memory," she said icily. Her lips pressed together tightly—

But only for a brief moment. She shook her head, a warmer tone to her voice and expression. "You know the dosage. And when he's conscious, call for another jounin to take in his mission report."

Sakura made for the door, but paused and turned to look at the nurses. "It's not against protocol to use paralysis as a means of restraining a patient. You wouldn't have needed to call me if you'd done so," she said, the gentleness of her voice easing the sting of the reproach. After giving the abashed nurses a steady look, she said, "I'll be in my office," and proceeded to step out of the room.

Nodding politely to the greetings directed to her from nurses and patients alike throughout the busy halls, Sakura finally reached her office, closed the door and leaned on it heavily, her head bowed and her eyes closed.

_He called only for me… Just like…_

Finally looking up, her attention was drawn to the closed window, the shades partly drawn, letting in only enough sunlight for the room to be dim. Drawing away from the support of the door, Sakura removed her wrap and, for a second, gazed at the emblazoned kanji, running a hand gently over the embroidered characters…_"It's a gift, Sakura-chan! Of course you deserve it! Put it on, let's see how it looks..."_

Her hands fisted the materialas the memory faded. She hung the wrap abruptly and nearly ran to the window. _Air, I need air…_ Ripping open the shades and flinging the window open, Sakura gasped for breath, gripping the windowsill tightly enough to produce miniscule breaks in the wood. Unleashed sunlight warmed her cold, cold face. She closed her eyes again, for the thousandth time that day, before sliding down the wall to sit on the floor and drawing her knees protectively against her body.

From the kunai holster she refused to take off even when she worked at the hospital, she took out a small pouch. It lay dormant in her palm as she fought one of her many inner battles…

_She'd sworn never to open it again three months ago. _

Letting it rest against her hands, Sakura's reluctance to open it conflicted with the onslaught of repressed memories re-awakened by today's particular patient. It was funny, she thought, how months of control could be so achingly tried within a tricky span of ten minutes.

_She shouldn't open it. _

Eyes screwed shut.

_But hadn't she already? _

Bloodless lips tightened over gritted teeth.

_Almost a million times since… _

With traitorous practiced hands, she withdrew from the little bag a necklace.

His necklace…

Her fingers closed around the blue stone. The coolness of the crystal and the metal bells blended into the iciness of her palm. She could never look at it too long. Although, holding it allowed her to lie to herself, even for the slightest second, that she was okay.

_She was okay_—a mantra that refused to stay, no matter how many times she tried to carve it into herself.

Sakura buried her head into folded arms and remained curled up against the wall, frozen until the sounds of the village below quieted into melodies of evening crickets. The curtains fluttered gently from a constant, comforting breeze.

_Why? _

She felt tendrils of hair at the top of her head follow after the intruding zephyr.

_Why can't I believe it?_

As much as she tried to deny it. As much as she tried to shut out this—hands clenched tighter—constant lament.

_Naruto… _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

She was running as fast as she could, her leg muscles groaning with the exorbitant amount of chakra being suddenly forced into them, the earth cracking where her boots left. Her bloody hand was stretched out, glove ripped off long ago. She had always been reaching out. Why wouldn't he listen? _Twelve-year-old Naruto's eyes were downcast when he said, "Don't stop us, Sakura." He couldn't look at her. He wouldn't look at her… _

…_Look at me…_

They were so far away. She wasn't screaming for them to stop this time. Even if she was, she knew her voice couldn't be heard through the chirping of birds and the low-frequency hum of whirling, wind-enhanced chakra. She knew he couldn't see her through the crackling and blinding blue energy surrounding them, consuming them. Or was he too distracted by murderous red eyes?

…_Don't stop us…_

…_Why'd you teach him that jutsu, Kakashi? Why would you ever teach him that? _

Were they were moving farther away? She needed more air in her lungs, more chakra, more time, more—

…No.

"_Sakura-chan! See? The color of the kanji matches your eyes! I had to argue with the stupid tailor over which color to use because he didn't know who you were and…" _

It can't…

"_Are you going to try to stop me?" Her eyes never left his cold, cold, face, as she said, "No. Not this time." His Sharingan deactivated and he turned away from her. Dismissing her. Again. She wasn't finished: "Instead, I'm going to trust that you'll know when to stop yourself." She knew he had paused to look back at her, even if it was just out of the corner of his eye. But by then, she'd already moved away from him. She'd make sure that he only saw her pink braid whipping behind her receding back, her white coat tails moving with the wind, and not her lie—her big, fat lie. _

_Yes, Sasuke. I'm going to stop you. _

Not this time…

Her breath was taken away the moment the unnoticed clone thrust his kusanagi through Naruto's back, through his heart..._through his heart…_ She didn't notice Naruto's rasenrengan failing nor his hands falling to his sides. She didn't see the sweat, dirt and blood marring his face, she didn't see the flow of blood trickling down the side of his mouth, nor did she see the look of shock that choked his dimming yellow sage eyes. She was waiting for Naruto to dispel—to disappear into a puff of smoke. _Underneath the underneath… _Why wasn't she getting any closer?

"_Baka-Naruto!"  
"But, but, Sakura-chan…!"  
"Get back here, Naruto!"  
"But you'll kill me!"  
"And your point is?"  
He evaded her incoming fist to sneakily plant a quick kiss on her cheek before zooming off far away from her rage. They both knew that he only kissed her because she let him. The grins on both of their faces gave it away…_

She heard someone screaming when Naruto fell to his knees, the blade being slowly, tauntingly, removed from his back, dripping with his blood. She wanted the screaming to stop, so she could hear him, hear him breathe, make sure that he didn't take any last agonizing breath…_not like this_…_never like this_…

Wait. She was the one screaming. It stopped. She needed her breath to keep running to them. Running to him. Keep running.

_She feigned ignorance as she walked out of the hospital doors into a crisp evening, and merely adjusted a bag stuffed with paperwork and two medical scrolls she was developing to lay lighter on her shoulder. It was a twenty-minute walk to her apartment, the one she bought that was directly next to his. They were going to install a door between their rooms next week, so that they wouldn't have to make the tedious trip through their front doors to reach each other. ('Why can't we just tear the whole wall down?' 'It'd be too messy. Anyway, we're both too busy to be throwing out rubble from our rooms. And your room is messy enough as it is.' 'But Sakura-chan!' 'No buts, baka. And don't you realize that there's plumbing in the walls? How are you going to fix that?' 'Oh…') While her clone kept walking down the street, she climbed the tree where he was perched and bemusedly watched a 6'3" and infamously talented ninja gleefully giggling like a 10-year-old girl, ecstatic that the subject of his self-assigned reconnaissance mission hadn't noticed him. It was only until she booted him out of the tree that he finally realized where she really was. Sprawled on the ground, he held out his arms and grinned up at her expectantly. Was the idiot asking for her knee to come crashing down into his vulnerable stomach? The hospital grounds could use another crater and Konoha could do without this dunce for a Hokage... It was against her better judgment, she knew, but she found herself hugging him tightly anyway. _

A white hand veined with tattoos of convulsing black snakes reached towards the back of Naruto's head. (_No more!) _It paused at his neck and grasped at something before ripping it savagely away. Naruto choked at the sudden violence and gasped for breath, but found only blood. The hand returned to its side, a glint of blue dangling from its pale fingers.

…_I'm an avenger…_

An elegantly sandaled foot rose to lean on Naruto's shoulder. (_Don't touch him!)_ It proceeded to push gently, mockingly, against his gasping body. Dull blue eyes widened as his body began to tumble over the cliff edge. Time slowed, stopped, and she saw his body turn as he fell. His eyes found her.

"Sak…ra…ch…"

_No. Don't use your last breath on me…Wait, please wait for me…I'm going to save you…_

Her hand barely missed his coat. (_He'd been so proud of it.)_ She felt the cloth brush against her fingers, like a sad, sweet farewell. She pushed more chakra into her legs to steady herself on the rock precipice when she'd jump after him. She never got the chance. As a sword came slicing down on her head, her body acted on primitive instinct and evaded the blade, but she realized, at the cost of the body now crumpled against the rocks in the gorge below.

She screamed.

And woke with a start. Sunlight was streaming through half-shut blinds and Sakura blinked to clear her head of the unwelcome light and the remnants of those unwelcome memories. Sitting up, she realized she had fallen asleep, once again, on her couch instead of her bed. She rubbed her eyes and paused for a few moments to consolidate enough willpower to get up from the comfort of her cushions. Fear of another dream was enough. She hadn't had such a vivid one in a while…

Passing her first test of the day was rewarded with a good look at her face in the bathroom mirror: sallow skin, dry lips, gaunt cheeks—Ino had commented on her death-like appearance more often than she would've liked to hear, but none of Ino's insults could compare to reflective glass and brutally honest fluorescent lighting. The only bright aspect of her face were the three green diamond-shaped chakra reserves in the middle of her forehead: the larger center reserve framed on either side with smaller sized, but equally potent, concentrations of chakra. She glared at them for a moment before reverting her attention to making herself look presentable and clean even if she couldn't do anything about looking healthy.

Sakura was toweling her long hair dry when she returned to her small living room. Pulling up the blinds and opening the windows seemed like a good way to start the day. And who could say no to a steaming cup of peppermint tea? "_RAMEN, Sakura-chan. RAMEN is a true shinobi's way of starting the day." _ She slammed the teapot lid shut more violently than usual and turned away from the stove and from her subconscious. It didn't work, because she was now facing the door. Their door.

What day was today? Sakura moved to the calendar hanging from her kitchen wall. Saturday—her day off. She sighed and moved towards the partition between her bedroom and his. _Should get it over with anyway. _She needed to clean his room and water his plants weekly, and usually found time to do those tasks on Saturdays. She'd made sure that his room stayed exactly as he'd left it, just with less empty ramen cups, cartons of spoiled milk and scattered disposable chopsticks. It certainly smelled better after her faithful attentions for the past three years.

After a thorough session of dusting, mopping, and airing out closeted spaces, Sakura slumped onto Naruto's bed and took a moment to breathe in what remained of his smell: cut grass, cedar and _warmth_. Somewhere within the nostalgic haze of feeling strong arms holding her again, she reasoned that she should get going with her day. But Sakura wasn't sure she could find a peace like the one she was currently in anywhere else, ever again…

But people needed her. Green eyes opened and she reluctantly stood, smoothing out the wrinkles she'd created on his bedspread. As she left the room, right before she shut the door, her gaze stopped at the framed pictures on his bedstead: their genin days, Naruto's parents, Jiraiya and Tsunade as jounin (Orochimaru was noticeably cut from the picture)… The newest addition to the collection was enclosed in the most expensive mahogany frame Naruto could find. It was a candid snapshot of her and him laughing together, both slightly grimy from having just returned from a mission, but both evidently completely happy in each other's company. Sakura found out later that Ino had taken the photograph and given it to Naruto on his seventeenth birthday with a wink.

Sakura couldn't help a small smile. He could always make her smile.

The door closed.

OOO

If Shikamaru found anything troublesome, it was the situation he was in right now. Homura and Koharu had chosen today of all available days (which for them, was none) to pester him with their militancy and unabashed desire for stability above morality. What was especially troublesome was the fact that he agreed with some of what they were saying.

"…We are at war with _three_ hidden villages!" Homura cried. "Not one, not two, _three_! Staying in a defensive mode is not only an utterly stupid and irresponsible decision for a Hokage to make—it's suicide!"

Shikamura rubbed his forehead in exasperation. He desperately needed a cigarette. "My decision is final and will stay as such."

"We understand that your policies are being heavily influenced by the previous Hokage and Haruno Sakura," said Koharu scathingly, "But this war with Otogakure and Iwagakure has been an indecisive and prolonged game of cat and mouse! Our war with them should have ended two years ago! And Kumogakure has also decided to declare war on us, most likely to claim the right to any Konohagakure soil if we are defeated. Do we have enough manpower, resources, and public support to go on for much longer?"

Shikamaru regarded her with ill-disguised annoyance. "The war wouldn't have gone on for this long if we didn't. I'm surprised you two haven't yet realized that nothing either of you can possibly think of hasn't already crossed my mind. I—"

"Become shamefully arrogant when cranky?" interrupted Sakura. She shut the door behind her and gave a half-hearted grin. "We all know that," she quipped dryly. Shikamaru reminded himself to thank her profusely in the near future, and more so if she somehow got rid of these old bags.

"I just dropped by to let you look at a new jutsu I've been developing for border security," Sakura said, placing a scroll on his desk. From their silence, the elders were evidently waiting for a greeting, but Sakura ignored them, and instead chose to walk towards the photographs of past Hokages hanging from the wall. Peering closely at the photo of the Yondaime, she noted the similarities between him and his son, and wondered whether their personalities were as similar as their appearances. When she finally turned, she feigned surprise, "You two are still here?"

"Haruno! Your status in this village doesn't excuse you from giving basic respect to your elders," scolded an indignant Koharu.

Sakura smiled and said quietly, "I'm afraid you're quite right. I'm not excused. In fact, the respect I have is the only thing preventing me from ripping you both to shreds."

The resulting silence was broken only by Shikamaru's cough.

Sakura stood stoic and unmoving as the disgruntled elders stood and made their way past her.

"We're not finished with this discussion, Nanadaime. It will be continued at a later time," Homura addressed Shikamaru as he left the room.

When the door finally shut, Shikamaru immediately reached for his cigarette pack, only to have it ripped from his hand by a shuriken and embedded into the wall behind the Hokage's desk, where it joined other shuriken marks not yet repaired and filled with tiny tobacco shreds.

"I need those, you know," Shikamaru grumbled at Sakura's still turned back.

"But I don't need to be extracting two buckets of tar from your lungs in a couple of years," returned an unsympathetic Sakura. She gave him a reproachful squint before turning to a cabinet under the window and withdrew maps of the hidden villages and their respective countries, asking, "Did they even question why Kumogakure declared war on us?" while Shikamaru opened the scroll she had given him. "Of course not," he replied nonchalantly. "They assumed it was to get a hold of any Konohagakure goodies once we're all dead and buried."

Spreading open a general map of all surrounding countries on his desk, Sakura secured each corner with a senbon and got down to business. "Ever since we expanded the security system to cover the entire border of Fire Country, staff have, of course, been complaining," began Sakura. "I was thinking that we should increase the amount of visible, reactive border guard seals—"

"And where would you get the chakra resources for this?" asked Shikamaru.

"…You didn't read the scroll, did you?"

"Why should I when you were so obviously going to explain it to me later?"

Sakura just shook her head. "Anyway, we should increase the amount of conspicuous guard seals but use a genjutsu I created to make these checkpoints appear as if they are heavily entrenched with chakra. These ersatz guard points should only cover our sea border, to make it appear as though we are ever vigilant. I'm positive Kumogakure will be looking for an offensive sea route immediately. Scouts have reported that their own war with Otogakure is, for now, at a stalemate. So for them, a sea route is the only way to attack us while avoiding Oto forces. For now we'll limit our actual border guard points on our southern border to two hidden seals, one at Port City and the other in this inlet on the other side of Wave Country. I doubt Kumogakure is going to expend the energy needed to cross this peninsula to attack us from Tea Country—."

"No, they will when they see the name of the bridge that connects Wave Country to us," said Shikamaru quietly.

For a millisecond, Sakura froze—she was unprepared for the reminder. Lately, she seemed to strangely be unprepared for any reminders of him. If her dream was of any proof, this Domyouji Jin incident had definitely shaken her more than she'd like to admit. She regained her control with a quick shake of her head, "Then we'll just establish another checkpoint at this sea port next to River Country. The chakra resource of any other guard seal we have on the sea border will be replaced by my genjutsu. Kumo will eventually believe that they cannot attack Konoha surreptitiously from another border and stick with the front we've already established with them. That being said, we should also reduce the guard seals on our border with River Country and Wind Country and transfer their chakra resources plus the ones from the sea border to the ones located on our northern border. These modifications will allow the net amount of chakra now being expended between every real seal to decrease by at least 34%, but at the same time enhance our defenses against Iwagakure and Otogakure. In light of this decrease in defense on our western border, we can just depend on Gaara to notify us of any attempted intrusion—."

"He's offered troops again," interrupted Shikamaru.

"No," was Sakura's curt response. "We are not bringing another country into this war. There should not be and will not be any more deaths and turmoil than necessary. We've already assured Gaara that his fight will be limited to any aggression against his country, not ours, and it will stay that way."

Shikamaru sighed and leaned back into his chair. "Sakura, do you really want to win this war or not?" At this point, he was dying for a cigarette.

"Would I be here discussing all this with you if I didn't?"

"You can't win war through defensive means only. Offensive strategies, which you have been naively equalizing with sacrifices, have to be made. And none of the countries fighting us have responded positively, if at all, to our calls for negotiations."

"We can do without offensive methods or peace talks. It's a matter of endurance, careful planning and observation, quick counterattacks and enhanced intelligence operations. It's also not about winning the war, Shikamaru, but ending it. We have nothing to gain from "winning" but everything to lose if we don't finish this conflict as ethically as it can be done." Sakura stared hard at the map, not seeing it, but seeing someone. "That means," she continued, "A constant presentation of strength and chivalry, honestly fought battles and absolute prevention of civilian causalities on all sides. We have to wait for Iwa, Oto, and now Kumo, to cease aggression, whether it is caused by anything from wasting their resources to civil discontent. We've been doing well so far without any offensive means. Since we've evacuated our border villages, all of our battles have only taken place in areas devoid of civilian populations. All of Otogakure and Iwagakure's other and more concealed attacks on our borders have been successfully caught by our security system and have been dealt with decisively because of your strategies and only our shinobi—."

"Sakura, even Takigakure and Amegakure have offered assistance. What are alliances for if not for situations like this one? Within only two days I was able to plan a strategy using Taki, Ame, and Suna forces that could win us this war," said Shikamaru exasperatedly.

Sakura turned to him abruptly, silent, but questioning with her eyes.

Shikamaru looked at her and said, "He's a genius during his own battles, Sakura. But so far," he gestured to the map with a lazy wave of one hand, "Planning a fight ahead of time and for others doesn't seem to be his forte."

Sakura's expression suddenly became pensive and withdrawn. Shikamaru let her.

Sakura sighed and resumed her train of thought, saying firmly, "We don't need Taki or Ame's assistance. The only reason we'd accept the sacrifices of their shinobi now would be to end the war quickly, not ethically, but _quickly. _Only if Kumogakure, Iwagakure and Otogakure declared war on Suna, Taki and Ame would I agree to a mutual support of forces, but they have only declared war on us. Konoha. And therefore the war should stay with us. You, of all people, should understand by now that this is, for me, not a topic open to debate," said Sakura. She glanced quickly at a familiar face—the one that haunts her dreams—hanging on the wall next to that of her mentor. She couldn't help it. His bright blue eyes twinkled with a mischievousness that was only enhanced by the whiskers lining his cheeks. But she quickly caught herself and stared back at the map.

Shikamaru noticed what had drawn her attention but said nothing. Instead, he took out Asuma's lighter and began flicking it on and off. He took a moment to stare at the flame before saying, "The daimyo labeled you as a chronic idealist. By now, you'd think that I would've agreed."

Sakura let out a small breath, coupled with a half-smile—a ghost of her old laugh. "No, I'm not. Not really… But he was," she said with a sentimental smile.

Shikamaru frowned and said softly, "And look where that got him." Sakura didn't respond.

"I'll handle these changes today, Sakura," Shikamaru said, breaking the silence. "But, the daimyo and the elders are just afraid that this war's being drawn out longer than necessary."

"Well, it's not as though their luxurious routines are being affected by it. Our trade lines and resources have hardly been touched with fighting. They just want assurance that their worlds will stay as they've always been, which, for that matter, doesn't include any kind of progress," Sakura said with transparent contempt.

Turning to Shikamaru, she suddenly noticed his frown, as he studied the map before him pensively. His thin eyebrows were narrowed in worry and the lines around his eyes told her of sleepless nights and the weight of responsibility. Her gaze softened. He'd always looked so awkward in his Hokage robes…

She continued in a more comforting and gentle tone, "It's possible this war can end cleanly. If we keep up at this pace, a conclusion will be reached, and Fire Country's transition back to peacetime will be easier. The repercussions of war will be less acute, at least for our country. We might even have enough resources to help Iwa, Kumo and…maybe…maybe Oto." Her eyes fixed upon the map, away from Shikamaru's surprised glance. Sakura traced the borders of Oto with her eyes. _How could something so small cause so much damage?_

Shikamaru studied her face closely before reexamining the map. After a moment, he looked back at Sakura and asked lightly, "Why didn't you take the Hokage position, and save me from all this trouble? After Kakashi refused, you were more highly considered than I was. And you can handle paperwork faster than I can." His eyes flicked momentarily to the photograph of Naruto on the wall behind her before refocusing on her face. He didn't have to ask to already know why. But for formality's sake…

Sakura shook her head and walked towards the door, saying lightly, "Because I do a better job as an advisor and a medic-nin. And could you imagine how big Ino's hissy fit would've been?" Opening the door, she paused and said, "Sign the proposal approval document and I'll have 20 genjutsu seals for you tomorrow morning so genin teams can be assigned this mission as soon as possible. They all look like they need some fresh air, away from Konoha…" A wistful look haunted her face. _('No! No thanks to all of those! I want to do a more exciting mission!')_ "This mission should be C-rank? That'll appease the more particular ones. Chouji's been complaining of one in his team."

Shikamaru groaned, "Don't remind me. He makes a racket with every D-rank I dish out…" He looked at Sakura curiously. "Iruka was just saying yesterday that he reminded him of—."

"They just need to perform a few hand seals to activate the genjutsu seal," interrupted Sakura. "I'll include which ones they need to know with a map of where exactly I think the seals should be placed. Feel free to change the locations as you see fit." Shikamaru regarded her with a look of quiet understanding. She avoided his gaze and raised a hand in farewell.

"Sakura," he called. Sakura reluctantly paused at the doorway.

"Get some sleep, will you? Days off are meant for relaxing," he said lightly.

The apprehension on Sakura's face dissipated. She shook her head and said with smile, "There's too much I need to do." With that said, she was gone, the scent of lavender and rain still lingering after she'd left. Shikamaru reached behind him to salvage a cigarette from the box Sakura's shuriken had demolished. Lighting it in one swift motion, he all but swallowed the smoke in gratitude and slowly blew grey clouds towards the ceiling.

…"_I have a favor to ask you, Shikamaru. If anything happens to me, take care of her. Make sure she's okay…" _

Shikamaru turned to stare at Naruto's photograph.

"Yep," he said quietly, before turning back to endless piles of paperwork, cigarette dangling from his lips.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Ino didn't look up when the door's bell rang, signaling the entrance of a customer to her mother's shop. She continued hosing down the freshly arrived array of flowers, only greeting the intruder with a, "Hey, Forehead." Sakura merely tugged Ino's ponytail in greeting as she walked past her to sit on a stool by the counter. She closed her eyes to breath deeply, but immediately regretted it, as she preferred fresh air to the overwhelming variety of perfumes and humidity. Sakura sighed and propped her elbows on the counter, resting her head in her hands. "The usual, Ino," she said tiredly.

"Jeez, Sakura. I thought today was your day off. Did you sleep okay?" Ino asked, disinterested tone unable to disguise the worry laced within her words. She moved to prepare the bouquets Sakura came for every Saturday. She noted how quickly the number of bouquets had increased over the years and how each new bouquet seemed to weigh Sakura down that much more. Ino's motions were methodical and practiced: four daffodil stalks for Sakura's father, a small bunch of violets and lily of the valley for her mother, three irises for Tsunade, and a lotus for—

"Sleep was usual," Sakura said. It wasn't a lie; it just wasn't the whole detailed truth. She played with a stray ribbon on the countertop. She didn't want to worry Ino.

"Then why the gloomy face?" asked Ino, as she finished tying the string around Sakura's mother's bunch. 'I'd hoped that I'd seen the last of it a couple of months ago,' she thought to herself.

Sakura rubbed the green diamonds on her forehead and said simply, "The elders."

Ino paused in gathering all the flowers together to look at Sakura. "You saw them today?" she asked. Sakura just twirled a yellow ribbon around her fingers absentmindedly. Ino sighed and said, "It wasn't entirely their fault, you know. Let it go. They've been punished enough. And you've got more important things to worry about and do." Ino glanced at Sakura and her curtness all but disappeared. She said softly, "You're that important to us, surprisingly," and held out the bunch of flowers to Sakura.

"They're on the house." Ino focused on Sakura's beryl eyes, not wanting to admit how much the brightness of the plants emphasized the sickly pallor of Sakura's face. Even Sakura's hair had darkened over the years. The young woman seemed to have lost the brightness of the colors she was famous for.

The Sakura had noticeably faded.

Ino gently nudged the smaller woman to her feet and guided her towards the door, observing contentedly that Sakura's steps became increasingly stronger. Only when Sakura was successfully out the door, onto the street, did Ino cease her relentless encouragement. Waving goodbye, Ino called out, "I'll drop by later!"

Sakura turned her head briefly to give Ino a small nod in thanks and farewell, before continuing her steady walk to Konoha's cemetery.

Frowning, Ino leaned against the doorway, staring after her longtime closest girl friend. Her career in interrogation under Ibiki had taught her to recognize the many physical variances that shinobi exhibit under extreme and prolonged stress, right before they break. She tried to quell the gnawing fear that resulted from detecting every single sign of it in Sakura: the constant tension, particularly in the muscles of the shoulders and neck; the unfocused but feverish strain in the eyes; the sickly pallor; the hollowness of cheekbones from loss of appetite… Everything was there. There was also an unsettlingly familiar depressive quality to Sakura's aura that, Ino hoped, had permanently disappeared a few months ago.

Despite the fireball Sakura used to be as a child and teenager, by the time she was eighteen she had matured significantly, giving off a stable and controlled air, only revealing her fiery temper in the heat of battle. Even for the past three years after Naruto's death, Sakura tried hard to never allow a single shred of vulnerability to mar her composure. Therefore, very few knew the extent to which Sakura internalized her pain. And knowing Sakura, concealing her suffering was probably easy, considering her occupation as a med-nin and how naturally she put others' needs before her own. But Ino couldn't claim any closeness to the pink-haired kunoichi if she had been unable to see the grief etched into every movement, every word, and everything that was Sakura then. Sure, the skin of Sakura was frigid and lifeless, but Ino would have bet her life on the presence of a wailing ball of sorrow, regret and guilt caged by that cool façade.

A few months ago, a slow healing process had seemed to culminate with leaving Sakura in a more secure mental state. She was no longer throwing herself into work and tending to patients round the clock. She was no longer barricading herself in her office, churning out breakthrough medicinal jutsus by the week instead of by the decade most med-nins needed to simply improve an existing jutsu. She had also stopped trying to destroy herself in training. By the end of three years, Sakura had sparred more than once with every shinobi in Konoha, excluding genin. And most shinobi seemed to not want to repeat nor relive the experience. To those she sparred with regularly, in the beginning, Sakura seemed to just be fulfilling ambitions. But eventually, even Neji and Sai had expressed open concern for Sakura's utter disregard for her wellbeing during simple sparring sessions. It seemed that as much as she wanted to defeat her opponent, and succeeded in doing so, she simultaneously wanted to defeat herself. Ten Ten had refused to spar with her any more unless Sakura started using basic defensive strategies; the jounin weapons expert apparently couldn't stomach the sight of Sakura constantly ignoring any weapons that weren't aimed for her jugular. Within two years, every training ground had been stained (usually saturated) with Sakura's blood. Except for one—training ground three.

Presently, Sakura still trained and still had an enviable work ethic, but she wasn't killing herself to do either anymore. She seemed to reclaim the vestiges of a healthy life, or at least, she was a lot more willing to face her demons. At sunrise, a passerby could often look towards the Hokage monument and see a speck of pink and a glimmer of white perched atop either the head of her former shishou or the Yondaime Hokage. To shinobi paying their respects to the deceased during the night, the kunoichi was a familiar sight. Sakura had seemed like she was healing. But…

But today… Ino frowned.

Today, Sakura's self-control seemed tighter, more strained. What had changed? Sakura had been fine when Ino last saw her four days ago—Sakura had even smiled when Chouji and his incorrigible student Kanehiro bickered like an old married couple over the last piece of fried pork. What had happened?

She'd lost all sight of Sakura's pink hair and white coat.

It was ironic, Ino thought, how although Sakura had been known (and criticized) for being quite the anomaly of a kunoichi—full of emotions, from compassion to rage—concern rose the minute she finally embraced the coldness of the ninja way.

Sighing, Ino withdrew into the shop.

"_Ino! Get me the biggest bunch of lotuses you have!" His deep voice had not lost any of its childhood boisterousness, or volume for that matter. _

"_Quiet down, would you? I'm right here. You'll scare away the other customers!" she cried exasperatedly, for old times sake, since the complaint wasn't really true: wherever the extremely popular Hokage went, he drew to him shinobi and townspeople, like flies to honey…or garbage. Smiling to herself, she arranged the bouquet—making sure to use Sakura's favorite red ribbon as a tie—while Naruto played with two children whose mother scrutinized the display of potted plants. _

_Whacking his arm with the finished bunch of flowers to catch his attention, Ino held out her hand. Naruto placed the little girl back on the ground from her perch on his shoulders only to replace the child's shrieks of joy with his whines of utter cheapness. _

"_Oh come on, Ino! We've known each other for how many years now? And I paid last time!" _

_Ino pursed her lips in mock contemplation. "Well, maybe this time I could let it slide." She slowly allowed the bouquet to come within reach of Naruto's eager, wiggling fingers, only to rip it back with an, "Only if you take Sakura out to someplace __**other than**__ Ichiraku's." _

_Naruto's hesitation was only momentary, but the repercussions on his soul (and stomach) were obvious from the way he swallowed before squeaking out, "I promise!" Ino could have sworn he turned white for a split second. _

_Smiling triumphantly, she tossed the bouquet at him. "Go get her." _

_Naruto didn't need to be told twice. He was out the door within the next heartbeat, but not so fast that Ino would miss the heartbreakingly happy smile adorning his face. _

Ino shook her head clear. It only takes a few recollections for anyone who knew the two to understand Sakura's grief.

Team 7… Ino guessed that the number wasn't so lucky after all.

OOO

Sakura took her time to arrive at Konoha's expansive cemetery. The solemnity of the area used to scare her when she was a child, but it had recently become the only source of comfort she could truly depend on. The silence and peace never demanded anything from her; she could pour her pain out into the emptiness and it would never complain, just listen.

Oldest trips first.

Sakura laid the bouquet of daffodils at the grave of Haruno Satoshi. She never knew the man. The civilian rice farmer had perished during the Kyuubi's attack on Konoha. She hadn't even cared to visit his grave regularly until she lost… Sakura closed her eyes and whispered a small blessing into the earth.

Next was her mother. One of the lower-ranked caretakers of Konoha's library, Sakura's mother was the driving force behind her now infamous intelligence and intellect. A jaded woman, Haruno Hisoka was hardly strict but never kind. Nonetheless, Sakura had loved her very much. Hisoka's death from an easily curable infection of the liver, while she was away on a mission to Suna, became one of the main reasons why Sakura pulled herself from active duty to spend more time at the hospital. Limiting herself to missions of her choice, or to those on special request from the Hokage, she had come to miss the travel and excitement. However, healing instead of maiming came much easier to Sakura; it satisfied the part of her gut that always twinged when she caused someone serious bodily harm, if for any other reason that to protect something or someone. Sakura's hand rested gently on the cold gray granite before sliding down the smooth façade to trace the kanji of her mother's name.

Hardest visits last.

The only detail that differentiated Tsunade's memorial from the other Hokages' was her name etched onto the grounded plaque. Sakura kneeled before the grave and bowed respectfully before placing the irises on the grass before the marker. When Sakura looked up, before her the flame of carved red marble swirled upwards towards the sky. _Will of Fire_.

On becoming a jounin, Sakura discovered that she had an affinity for the element of fire. But, the little chakra paper appropriately turned to dust for Sakura immediately set on working on mastering another element. To her, fire was too dangerous, too needy, and too nostalgic. Lightning was also then out of the question. The obvious choices left for her were earth and water. Possibly due to her ability to destroy it without the slightest bit of effort, earth was an easy element for Sakura to master. On the other hand, water would have been impossible to channel without a month-long peace conference at Kirigakure on the eve of her seventeenth birthday. It was a grueling ordeal to train with the infamously brutal Mist nin, but Sakura treasured the experience, for as she was being taught _Suiton no Jutsus_, she was helping renovate Kirigakure's hospital and medical procedures. The symbiosis was almost unbelievably ideal.

Sakura rubbed the green diamonds on her forehead and, with fondness, recalled the pride in Tsunade's voice as she congratulated Sakura's advancement. Although these chakra reserves were meant specifically for healing, they were the theoretic basis for Sakura's other numerous developed ninjutsus, designed to compensate for her pitiable lack of chakra. As a teenager and budding med-nin, she learned how to channel the smallest amount of her chakra possible at its maximum efficiency. Graduation to the jounin rank made her itch for another conspicuous, however superficial, display of power. Brute chakra-enhanced strength, genjutsu and chakra scalpels only went so far. To add insult to injury, her clearly underdeveloped defensive strategy was to simply not get hit. In order for her to perform elemental ninjutsu during a battle, without becoming worn out after a maximum of three ninjutsus, she had to improve her stamina and chakra capacity. And she had succeeded in doing so.

Sakura smiled sadly. If only Tsunade could see her now, how much she's improved. The legendary kunoichi had passed from this now war-torn world peacefully, finally overcome by the past usages of her regeneration jutsu, and content with entrusting the care of Konoha to the two children—now adults—whom she'd come to love as if they were her own flesh and blood. Sakura was slightly grateful Tsunade had passed on before… She sighed and closed her eyes tightly… His death would have been very hard on the last Sannin…

Sakura stood. She hesitated, not for Tsunade; her mind was already elsewhere. She slowly turned to walk the few steps to his grave. She stood for a few moments before the name etched into her very being. With closed eyes, she felt a cool southern breeze play with her hair, which she had let loose from its usual ponytail after her meeting with Shikamaru. She knelt slowly and gingerly placed the lotus on the grass living on and off of the body of her former teammate. And friend. Best friend.

She abruptly turned and began walking quickly back to the village's center. She never could stay too long at his resting place. Sakura supposed that maybe it was because she was too cowardly to accept his death. She never tried too hard for an answer.

Her booted feet slowed as she neared the KIA memorial stone. Sakura could recognize that gravity-defying mop of gray hair anywhere. Complete with a jounin's standard uniform, the image was ripped from her genin and chuunin days. The only difference was the addition of ANBU-styled lightweight, chakra-enhanced, titanium-plated arm and shoulder guards, which were new additions to the outfits of jounin sent on missions past the borders of Konoha. Another striking addition was the two katanas crossing his back…as were the bloodstains and spatters.

Sakura raised her left hand into half of a Tiger seal, crossing her pinky and ring finger to supplement the absence of her other hand. With a whisper of, "_Doton: Doryūkatsu_," and her right hand glowing green, she used the weakened derivative of the actual jutsu to connect healing chakra to the veins she created in the earth. Sakura kept a steady pace towards the stone as her chakra streamed through the ground, enlarging into tiny fissures, towards her target. When her chakra made contact with the jounin's feet, Sakura used the connection to quickly assess and heal the injuries afflicting the rest of the impromptu patient. As an added bonus, she quickly oxidized exhausted muscles to catalyze the citric acid cycles needed in synthesizing the lactic acid weakening his system. By the time Sakura covered a difference of fifteen feet, Hatake Kakashi was a much happier man.

"Yo," he said, without looking at her. With a slight touch to his temple for a more detailed survey of his neuronal activity, Sakura replied, "You're back early."

"Easier mission than I thought."

"…How's the weather down there?"

"Wet."

Sakura finished the healing session with a nod and turned to the memorial stone. There was a comfortable silence for a few minutes as both veterans of an ill-fated team became lost in their thoughts.

Without turning to face him, Sakura noted, "You're too old to be going on lengthy solo missions." Kakashi gave a small smile at the touch of concern in her voice.

"I'm not that old," he protested.

"You're thirty-six. In ninja years, Kakashi, that makes you a geezer."

"…I can still kick ass."

"I never said geezers couldn't kick ass. I was just saying that a certain person who cares about a certain geezer would like that geezer to go on team missions so that he can stay a geezer for a long time."

"Lots of 'geezers,'" Kakashi observed lightly.

"At least take Sai and Tenzo. Or me at the very least—you know I'll always go with you," she scolded gently. "… And yes, I used 'geezer' a lot. So what?" she challenged, despite the monotonous tone of her voice. Kakashi noted, possibly with regret, that it didn't have the spark that tinged the threats of her younger self.

Kakashi sighed and shrugged. After a few moments, though, his single visible eye had turned away from the memorial stone and was studying his former student coolly. Her gaze however, remained fixated on the stone, expression blank.

Turning back to the Obito's graven name, he nonchalantly asked, "How's sleep been?"

Sakura debated on telling her annoyingly observant former sensei the truth.

"I had one again." It took much more effort to fool Kakashi than Ino.

Kakashi's silence was enough to signify his caught attention, although he tried to quell the sting of alarm that threatened his insides. Sakura is fully capable of taking care of herself, as she's proved time and time again. He shouldn't be worried, right?

So then, why the worry?

"It was a lot more vivid than the ones I've been having recently," she recalled quietly. "It was more or less the same intensity as the ones I had right after it happened." Sakura's voice began to be laced by frustration, "By now, I shouldn't be having them. But something in my heart is telling me that I'm seriously missing something. And it's waiting for my head to catch up." Her eyebrows were screwed together and her colorless lips were bared into the beginnings of a snarl.

He wasn't looking at her (something told him that he couldn't), but Kakashi was too experienced, too old—too geezerly, according to Sakura—to miss the additional tinge to her voice. It was inordinately, achingly, familiar—

Self-loathing.

Kakashi's torn, gloved hand slowly reached out to Sakura's head and rested there—a motion he'd used time and time again to comfort the little girl that had been Sakura. Yet, this time, she didn't seem to register the gesture, and simply continued to stare at the black marble in front of them.

She wasn't a little girl anymore. He also noted nostalgically that she hadn't grown at all from her chuunin days.

He gave her pink hair a couple of pats, though his hand returned rather quickly to his pant's pocket.

"You'll deal," Kakashi said softly. "We all learn to." And with that, he disappeared into a puff of smoke, most likely heading to the Hokage Tower to hand in his mission results.

She stayed at the memorial for a bit longer. With a small 'goodbye' that she didn't expect either Kakashi or Naruto to hear, Sakura started the trek back towards her apartment. It began to rain.

Kakashi watched her petite frame walking steadily away. He sighed. He didn't know what to say to her anymore…

_Twelve-year-old Sakura was crying bitterly... "It's all right!" he remembered telling her. "Soon things will go back to the way they used to be!"_

Kakashi had never meant to lie.

OOO

When she reached her apartment, she realized with pleasant, if purposefully subdued, surprise that someone was already there waiting for her. Ignoring him, she moved to place her wet grocery bags onto the kitchen table, immediately beginning to organize her purchases. Sai moved from his perch on her windowsill to greet her.

"How have you been, Hag?" Noticing Sakura straining to place a jar of honey on the top shelf of a cupboard, he took the object gently and finished the job for her.

"Busy, thanks. You?" she asked. She opened her refrigerator to put away newly bought vegetables and fruit.

"Same," he answered.

She nodded, patting his shoulder on her way out of the kitchen. Wet clothes were the epitome of being uncomfortable. She quickly changed into another dry, clean set of jounin issue canvas pants and a cotton long sleeved high-neck. As she padded barefoot back to her kitchen, she was greeted with the sight of Sai looking rather curiously into her refrigerator. Her gaze softened. Sai was a capable cook who, forced to live on his own from a young age and not being blessed with a bottomless appetite for instant ramen, had learned how to make simple dishes. However, the first time she had cooked dinner for him—her treat for Team Kakashi one night after a long mission—he had been unusually solemn throughout the meal, eating slowly and staring at the table as if he'd never seen anything like it in his life. While Naruto was busy trying to take a peek under Kakashi's mask and Tenzo was trying to feign disinterest, Sakura had asked him if the food wasn't to his taste. Sai had shaken his head firmly, instead choosing to tell her that no one had ever cooked for him before. Her eyebrows had furrowed in confusion—he ate at restaurants all the time. Sai had stared pensively at his empty plate for a moment before he looked up at Sakura.

"_No one close to me."_

That was the first time she'd been able to read sorrow on his face.

Shutting the refrigerator door while shooing Sai away, she grabbed a chopstick from one of her kitchen drawers and with it fastened her hair into a loose chignon. As soon as her hair was out of the way, Sakura began preparations for tea and dango. She had learned to make the relatively quick treat by herself when she was ten years old. Little Sakura had become too frustrated with making the long trek to Konoha's infamous dango shop every single time she had a craving, which was quite frequently.

Sakura suddenly felt a soft towel wrap around her wet head. She murmured her thanks, but then, a thought dawning on her, turned to Sai and asked apologetically, "Did you wait long?"

"Not really." Sai was settling himself into one of her two kitchen table chairs, unbuckling the long katana he had strapped to his back and standing it against one of the table legs.

"You're not wet," Sakura accused.

"Well, I like to be dry."

"…It's been raining for three hours."

"Finish the dango, Hag. I'm hungry." Sai caught the incoming bamboo skewer between his fingers with ease.

The next twenty minutes were dotted with small talk: when Sai got back, the new apartment he's moving into, where he's been getting better ink and paper, the revisions Sakura was making on a very old medical jutsu... The people who had died on Sai's rather strenuous mission stayed just out of reach, although Sakura still silently worried about how easily they were brushed aside. Sai was no longer affiliated with ROOT, especially after she removed the seal from his tongue, but it was still difficult for him to get out of the corner of mindless and easy killing the ANBU division had driven him into. Not realizing that her concern made her reticent, Sai had to resort to skewering an apple from the fruit dish, with the same missile that had been thrown at his eye with deadly precision. He chewed on it contentedly until Sakura finally returned to the table with a plate of freshly made sesame and sweet soy sauce dango skewers and two cups of hot green tea, one skewer already half eaten and dangling from her lips. Sai gave her one of his rare real smiles as he dug into the cooking of his friend… One of his few friends.

Over the rim of her mug, Sakura regarded Sai critically. The formidable ninja had grown substantially in height since they first met, although his personality hadn't gone through quite the same amount of development. But Sakura wasn't one for hurrying his emotional development along. She'd gotten much too used to his social awkwardness, tactlessness, and brutal honesty, along with his clumsy, yet genuine attempts at cordiality… She'd miss them.

Sai ignored her peering, and continued to munch on the dango. Frowning, Sakura finally realized what was so anomalous about Sai's appearance today. The artist had always been meticulous about keeping his hair relatively short, but now it had grown long enough to be tied into a small ponytail at the nape of his neck. Sakura knew that he'd been away on an undercover infiltration mission for some time, so he probably didn't have a chance to get it trimmed.

Sakura waited until he finished his tea and dango before getting up, grabbing her chair with one hand and motioning to Sai with the other, "Follow me." With a quizzical expression on his face, he obliged.

She led him to her bathroom and placed the chair on the cold tile floor, facing the mirror. Understanding her intentions, Sai sat in the chair without being asked. Sakura took the towel he had wrapped around her earlier and placed it on his shoulders, noting that it seemed strikingly smaller on him. Pulling off the tie that held his ponytail, she shook out his hair and dampened the coal black strands with water from the sink. Grabbing her comb and one of the kunais in her thigh pouch, Sakura proceeded to trim his hair gently.

Sai stared at his reflection stoically. His matte eyes then flickered to rest on Sakura's small face.

"_What are you doing? Fight back, damn you!" _

"_Sakura, stop! Let's take a rest. We're both seriously injured," Sai said breathlessly, trying desperately to both evade Sakura's chakra-enhanced taijutsu and ignore the gaping wound in his side. Seeing an opening in her faltering offense, Sai grabbed both of her wrists in a deadlock, making sure to avoid her skin. _

"_Sakura. Stop." _

_Breathing heavily and ignoring the blood tricking down her face (from a cut she could've easily evaded) and nose (from a punch she could've easily evaded), she lifted her face to meet his. Sai felt something unpleasant and unfamiliar waver in his chest as he met her gaze. Sakura's eyes. _

_They were like his before he met her, Yamato-taichou and Naruto... _

…_Empty. _

Sai observed with satisfaction that, Sakura's jade eyes were now much brighter and alive than they were then, even if they did seem tired.

He wanted them to stay that way. Otherwise, Sakura just…wasn't Sakura…

Eyes like his just didn't fit her.

OOO

By the time Sakura was walking Sai to the door, his hair had returned to its usual ear-framing length.

"Thanks, Hag," he said happily, giving her a saccharine grin. "Now I don't have to spend money."

"Don't mention it," she responded dryly, holding the door open for him as he readjusted the katana onto his back. He was just past her and almost completely out the door when a small hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Wait," Sakura said with a start. Leaving a bewildered Sai staring after her, she sped into her bedroom. He called after her, "Whatever is in_ there_, I certainly don't want it."

"Oh, shut up," she shouted back as she rummaged around her desk, muttering, "Now where did I put the damn thing…"

Sai was examining the wall next to her door thoughtfully, a forefinger and thumb lining his chin, when she finally returned, a manila envelope in one hand and a plastic container of more dango in the other. She held out both to him as he gestured to the wall, "A painting would look quite nice hanging there."

"Any suggestions?" Sakura asked as he took the two items from her.

"Yes. Mine…," he trailed off as he stared at the envelope in his hand with increasing understanding. He looked up at Sakura, his face halfway into a shocked expression. She smiled in reassurance. "It's all there. It did take some serious digging, let me tell you, but Danzo was pretty meticulous about his files. So, in the end, getting them wasn't all too difficult," she chirped nonchalantly, enjoying the rare sight of visible emotion on Sai's face. Then again, she wasn't sure if Sai immediately recognized what he was feeling, either. She'd happily list those emotions for him, though: relief, joy and trepidation.

Sai's hand was shaking slightly before he noticed and regained self-control. It was difficult, seeing as how this envelope held whatever identity he had before he was recruited into the Foundation. _He_ was in this envelope, or whatever of him that could be described in words.

"Shin's information is on there, too. So is his gravesite," Sakura said softly. "I'll get Shikamaru to give you some time off so you can visit him—it's a pretty far off location." She leaned against the wall. "It's funny though, how Danzo kept all of this. But I guess you could expect a sick freak like him to want some kind of leverage against you guys—."

Sakura was cut off in surprise as Sai suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace. Recovering from her bout of shock this time, still in his arms with her face pressed to his black vest, Sakura managed to pat his back awkwardly. After a tense few moments, Sai pulled away slowly, held her out at arms length and asked her seriously, "That's how a hug is supposed to be, right?"

In light of the importance of this moment for Sai—first hug, first identity, and all—Sakura bit back a sarcastic comment and merely nodded. Sai let her go gently. Still apparently frazzled, he prepared to leave, tucking the dango box under his left arm to free his right hand. Sai was just about to form it into a tiger seal before he was being booted abruptly out the door.

"Not in here, you don't!" Sakura scolded. "The ink you leave behind is permanent, you know! You completely ruined my favorite rug last time and since you'd left on a mission right after, I couldn't kill you for two weeks!"

Sai turned to face Sakura once he was safely out of her apartment.

"I'll give you the painting soon," he said.

Sakura nodded, a slip of a smile on her face as she leaned against the doorframe.

"Sakura."

"Hm?"

He seemed to hesitate, lips parting a few times in failed attempts. But finally, he managed a muted, "Thank you," his coal-black eyes near overflowing with a warmth usually so foreign to them.

He was gone in a whirl of ink.

Sakura stared at the place he disappeared for a moment, whispering a quick, "You're welcome," to the thin air in front of her, before closing the door. Her hand lingered on the knob, until she finally turned to walk back to her kitchen, the prospect of a quick, late-night dinner tempting her appetite, while her mind was preoccupied with the joy and relief of seeing two of her teammates on the same day. A hand came up to absentmindedly press against her chest.

It seemed her heart was preoccupied with it was well.

_Thank you, too._

OOO

The room was dark, damp, and most definitely the closest thing to hell the man had ever come. His wrists and ankles were chained. Forced to kneel with his arms spread, the thick iron links completely immobilized him. He'd lost the strength to raise his head a long time ago.

He'd also lost count of how long he'd been here. He didn't know the time and he didn't know the date. There was no window or source of light to help him… As if anything could, really, since he didn't even know who he was.

He couldn't look up when the door to his cell suddenly opened. But he cringed away from the approaching shadow that marred the block of torchlight…

This person meant _pain_.

The person's foot pushed roughly against his shoulder and forced his face into the disgusting stone floor. A hand reached out from the sleeve of a white silk haori. Its white skin was laced with black tattoos of snakes, while the accompanying wrist was littered with summoning seals. Without warning, it suddenly grabbed the hair on the prisoner's head and yanked away violently. He cried out in pain. Expecting more, he crouched as low as the chains allowed. But then, with the slam of a metal door, the bad person was gone.

He was relieved. And slightly surprised: this person usually stayed for longer. And when he did, he _hurt _him. He hurt him so much.

A forlorn face slowly rose from the dirty floor. It was coated in dirt and congealed, old blood.

_What am I doing here?_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

After sweeping up and discarding the remnants of Sai's haircut from her bathroom floor, Sakura flopped onto her couch with another mug of tea and a blanket snitched from her bed. On her coffee table, she spread out forty empty scrolls—twenty for her to write genjutsu seals on and the remaining twenty for the accompanying jutsus needed to release the genjutsus upon application. It was easy and tediously repetitious work, but it kept her mind busy.

When finished, she stretched her arms towards the ceiling and glanced at the clock on the wall. 2:45 AM. Gathering up the finished scrolls, she brought them to her bedroom, and placed them in a cloth bag to give to Shikamaru in the morning. Sakura gave an uneasy glance towards her bed.

She wasn't that tired.

She returned to her couch with one of the scrolls from her desk to study. This particular scroll was on loan from a friend in Kirigakure: it described a more advanced _Suiton no Jutsu _that Sakura was itching to experiment with, but hadn't found the time nor the victim to try it on. However, within ten minutes, both tea and scroll lay forgotten on her coffee table. Curled into a fetal position, Sakura had been pulled into a light, restless sleep…

I need to see him… Let me see him…

"_Let me see him," she said, her eyes clouded with tears she was unaware of. She was straining against the tight grip of Kiba and the resolute back of Shikamaru—both were blocking her from seeing the retrieved corpse of Naruto. _

"_Let me see him," she kept muttering to no one in particular. If she hadn't used up all of her chakra, reserved and stolen, during her battle with Sasuke, it would have taken much more than Kiba to restrain her. As the body was carried away on a stretcher, a few shinobi turned away in revulsion at the horrible state of their beloved Hokage's body. Two or three even retched. _

_As the stretcher drew near, Sakura struggled harder, but this time, Kiba had enlisted the help of Neji and Rock Lee; both had already seen the body and were determined to not let her suffer the same fate. By now, she was tearing from frustration. _

"_Please! Why won't you let me see him?" Sakura was now dry sobbing and delirious. She was ignoring the deep katana-inflicted wounds on her back and the third-degree burns marring the porcelain skin of her arms, right shoulder and legs. Her body, on the other hand, refused to. Suddenly light-headed, her muscles contributed to her physical collapse by refusing to respond. But she refused to let go… of? Her hand was clenched around… Something… What was this? Her vision fading, she peered at her palm, struggling to identify the object she had refused to release ever since she'd taken it from Sasuke's grasp. Shadowed by the darkness of her remaining glove, a glint of blue blinked up at her from her bloody hand… His necklace… Her head hurt… She felt her knees give way… Kiba, exhausted but triumphant, quickly scooped up Sakura into a piggyback—she was too tired to struggle. She vaguely heard him mutter to Neji and Lee, 'We'll take turns along the way, yeah? I'd carry her the entire way, but I'm so tired…' She heard Akamaru bark halfheartedly in agreement…_

_Her last throes of consciousness… She clutched his necklace to her chest… _

_Your dream… Ever since I met you, I've wanted to protect your dream… _

_Naruto… _

OOO

Farther away, the smooth walls of the Hokage Tower were interrupted by flickering shadows, all tributaries from the silhouette that sat on the sill of the tower's largest window. Shikamaru's fingers moved absentmindedly, orchestrating his shadow's movements, all the while staring broodingly at the wood frame across from him. The rain had stopped some minutes ago. A full ashtray and a small bottle of sake accompanied him… They completed this unsightly picture, Shikamaru knew. He gave an ironic grin as he found solace in rice wine from the memories he'd do anything to forget…

_He'd had given the order to fall back to Konoha. As third-in-command, Sakura's current condition meant that he had to lead the team's retreat. Looking around, he was surrounded by wreckage, or what used to be a forest and the edge of a gorge. This battle with Otogakure had concluded as a stalemate… For now… He glared at the retreating Oto-nins, who were struggling with a stretcher that bore their Kage. He would have to write this all down tomorrow… _

_How would all of this look on paper? _

'_The self-proclaimed Onkyoukage of Otogakure, Uchiha Sasuke, had killed Konohagakure's Hokage Uzumaki Naruto…'_

_Shikamaru's jaw clenched… _

'_The Onkyokage had then engaged in combat with, and had been ultimately blinded by Konoha's Haruno Sakura…'_

…_Look at us now…_

'_The mission had been initiated on invitation from the Otokage. Hearing about the suffering of the Oto civilians, the Rokudaime had arrived intending to negotiate a treaty with the Otokage, a Konoha defector who the Rokudaime still proclaimed to be his best friend. Such benevolence only ended in bloodshed and an official declaration of war against Konoha…'_

_So that's how it'll look on paper… _

'_Troublesome,' he thought, the dispassionate phrase betrayed by shaking hands as he continually failed to light his cigarette. _

…_Was this what drowning felt like?_

_A smaller hand reached out and held the flame steady for him. _

"_Thanks," Shikamaru told Ino, blowing smoke into the air in what he knew was a useless attempt at disguising his vulnerability. She didn't respond. She knew him better than that. Instead, she was looking solemnly at the unconscious figure perched on Kiba's back. "She did good," Ino said quietly, unable to hide the tremor in her voice. _

_Shikamaru regarded the blond femme fatale critically: her perfect features were caked in sweat, dirt and blood; her hair, her pride and joy, was faring a similar fate. Putting a tired and injured arm around her shoulders, he said softly, "Let's go home." Both of their gaits were hampered by injuries, but by supporting each other, he was sure they could make it the entire way back…_

Cannonading into his chest, a missile of feathers, fatigue, and fury interrupted his recollections. Peering up at the ceiling from his position on the floor, Shikamaru regained his breath, only to see a glaring pair of golden eyes aggressively forcing its way into his line of vision. The messenger hawk was a lot heavier than it looked, or Sakura was right about his lungs going out earlier than he'd like.

OOO

_The lights were so bright… _

"_Where am I?" she asked the haze. She answered herself. Everything came rushing back, an utter onslaught of memories: the mission, running, his death, wanting to fight to claim hers… She couldn't live without him… She sat up from the hospital bed with a start and immediately regretted it—she'd never felt so nauseous in her life. _

_A large hand steadied her back. Sakura turned to see Shikamaru by her bedside. Sai and Kakashi were in chairs by the windowsill. _

_No words were necessary. The rain pattering against the windows was enough. _

_Sakura closed her eyes and crumpled into the sheets, burying her head in her hands. She gritted her teeth to silence a rising scream…_

… But she instead leapt from the couch at lightning-speed. Immediately on the offensive, she forced the intruder into the nearest corner of her living room, spinning on one foot to avoid a defensive swipe from his katana, then easily segueing into a tornado kick. The intruder ducked and brought up his arms to block her next downward kick, his arm guards splintering into pieces from the force of the blow. He pushed against her leg to disrupt her balance, but Sakura flipped, sweeping her other leg up towards his chin. The man was knocked into the wall. Sakura wasted no time; one hand restrained him by the throat and the other, armed with a chakra scalpel, wavered forebodingly close to his mask... Mask? As she shook off the last vestiges of sleep, Sakura realized she had an innocent ANBU captain by the neck, one who was patiently waiting for her to let go. Peering closely at the mask, she then realized just who it was she had attacked—especially by the ring of small bugs that had encircled her wrist. She quickly backed away with an apology and bent to scoop up what remained of the arm guards, bugs lifting off of her one by one and returning to hide in the folds of Aburame Shino's tent-like ANBU cloak. As he coughed his way back to regaining full use of his lungs, she placed her hands on her hips and scolded tiredly, "Shino-san! Use the front door next time!" She looked down at her hands. "And sorry about these," she said sheepishly, holding them out apologetically.

Straightening his dark purple spider mask, Shino's deep voice rumbled, "It's an urgent request for your presence at the Hokage Tower. I'm sorry, Sakura-san. Hokage-sama had emphasized that there's no time, particularly none for front doors and greetings." With that said, he motioned for Sakura to just trash his now useless armor, and was out the window, a small frequency of buzzing lingering where he disappeared.

Sakura scowled and shut her window tightly, locking it with a decided 'click.' She sighed and rubbed her face tiredly. She might as well stick a welcome mat under her windowsill. Realizing she didn't need to change, as she had napped in her jounin shirt and pants, Sakura quickly swallowed the now cool tea from her abandoned mug. She first went to her room to grab the bag containing the genjutsu seals (_might as well)_, then grabbed her vest and gloves from the kitchen table and was soon out the door. Showing evident skill in multitasking, Sakura pulled on her boots, threw on her vest, slipped on her gloves, adjusted the strap of the bag, and formed a tiger seal to lock her door, all while running at a medium pace. Soon bounding across the rooftops of Konoha, she was hidden quickly by a settled fog.

OOO

Shikamaru didn't look up from his desk when Sakura entered the room. Instead, he continued to pore over more maps, scribbling notes down on a scroll.

"You know," Sakura began, "When you send ANBU to my place, and they're _not_ Sai, Tenzo, or Kakashi, please let them know that they should use the front door." She set down the bag of seals on his desk.

Shikamaru regarded the bag coolly and turned back to his maps. "Suna's declaring war on Oto," he said lightly, as though the statement was merely describing the weather, the color of the walls, or what he had for dinner.

Sakura stopped short. Struck dumb by shock, words failed her horribly. Instead, she was reduced to stuttering, "But, why? He has absolutely no reason to…" Her voice faded.

"And no, I didn't agree to Gaara's proposal," Shikamaru informed her, before Sakura cut him off with a curt, "I know that." She needed to sit. With no chairs available, she made do with the Hokage's desk and leaned on it heavily with both hands, head bent in near nausea. When Shikamaru finally did look up, he just saw a curtain of pink. Sighing, he parted Sakura's hair with a hand and tapped her forehead with a scroll.

"This almost killed me just a few minutes ago," he said. "We _need_ to find another way to communicate with Suna because those birds are getting damn near murderous from traveling that far…" he mused, while Sakura scanned the scroll feverishly. She closed the scroll for a moment, took a few breaths, and then reopened and read the scroll again. Her eyes narrowed at one particular line that seemed so out of place and even more sudden than the declaration of war…

"What's he thinking?" Sakura asked in disbelief. "Why's he asking for…and last time we met, I _knew_ Gaara didn't want to lend troops. He was just offering out of respect for-." She grimaced in frustration and scanned the scroll, as if she had missed all the answers to her questions. "He didn't explain his decision on here either," she muttered. "What's he trying to do?"

"Well, since he's asked specifically for you, I thought that you might have a better idea," Shikamaru said tiredly. "And what's with asking for something of Naruto's? His DNA?" Shikamaru expression turned suddenly apprehensive, "We don't have to dig up graves, do we?"

Sakura was still staring at the scroll, although her eyes were obviously not reading its contents anymore. "No," she said distractedly. She closed the scroll in frustration and tossed it onto Shikamaru's desk. Shikamaru frantically tried to pat down the eruption of papers that resulted from her carelessly forceful throw. Unaware of his dilemma, Sakura began pacing down the length of the room, hands behind her back, boots clicking in a rhythm that mimicked the frantic beating of her heart… A part of her she thought had quieted a long time ago. This was just too coincidental… Her dreams… The sudden resurfaced sensitivity to any mention of him… Gaara's proposal… She'd been a ninja too long to believe in coincidence. Still, she hoped it just was.

'But why now? Why is everything about Naruto resurfacing now?' she thought in frustration. She looked up, past Shikamaru, to the expanse of Konoha's rooftops, treetops, and mountain ranges. She forced her mind to turn back to matters of greater importance: the safety and happiness of the village she was entrusted to protect. Thinking quickly, she finally turned to Shikamaru.

"I need to go to Suna immediately before Gaara does anything rash. Pull Ino from interrogation and have her cover for me at the hospital. Don't send Anko on that mission with Genma—he'll be fine with Kei and Hatsuhara—have her cover for Ino. And don't tell anyone else about this mess with Gaara until I have some answers from him," Sakura said.

"How long do you plan to be gone for?" asked Shikamaru.

Sakura stopped pacing and slowly turned to look at the Hokage. "_How long do you plan to be gone for, eh, Sakura-chan?" _Bright blue eyes stared back at her, long unruly golden hair moving gently with a breeze that flowed into the room from the window. He smiled at her.

"_Sakura-chan?"_

"_Sakura_…"

"Sakura…"

"_Sakura!_" Shikamaru was almost standing in his chair, waving before her face. Sakura snapped to focus on pensive gray eyes, shaded by straight and thin eyebrows. Not blue.

"Sorry," she muttered, taking a step back. Shikamaru sighed and moved from behind his desk to stand in front of her. He gently took her face in his hands and bent down to peer at her closely. She scowled at him, averting her gaze past his earring-riddled ear. He grinned and tapped her nose, saying softly, "You'll be fine." Sakura's eyes snapped back to his in muted surprise, gaze softening nonetheless. She slowly pulled away from his warm hands and made to leave, but paused at the door. Turning back to Shikamaru, she said, "Tell Kakashi to meet me at the gates in half an hour. And make sure to tell him whom he's meeting. I don't have the patience to wait for him anymore." She lifted her hand in farewell, "I won't be gone long, so I won't send a hawk." She gestured to the rips from overeager talons in Shikamaru's mesh shirt and loose grey yukata, saying with a small, wry smile, "Since they don't seem to like you very much." A laugh so quick, soft, and startling that Shikamaru wasn't sure he'd heard it… and she was gone in a whirl of sakura petals.

Shikamaru reached for the pack of cigarettes hidden in his desk, away from the deadly accuracy of the various missiles thrown from Sakura's relentless hands. As he lit his cancer stick of choice, he realized, 'She laughed.'

He didn't know whether to be happy or concerned.

OOO

She had packed all of her gear and supplies within ten minutes, put on her ANBU/jounin shoulder, arm, and calf guards in two minutes, and was at the gates within fifteen. With time left to wait for her former sensei, she sat on the ground beside one of the gates, leaning back against the great, green, wooden partition.

The fog had dispersed into mist, coating every leaf and pebble with a grey sheen. She breathed in, trying to calm her beating heart. It would be raining again, soon.

Sakura closed her eyes slowly.

_A cerulean gaze, twinkling in his tanned face, full of promises, potential, and loyalty. A smile—_

They snapped open abruptly.

Her gloved hands came up to grasp the sides of her head. She applied slight pressure, as if it would squeeze out her memories. Her hands gave up and just balled into fists.

_Breathe… _

"Yo."

Sakura started and sighed with a touch of exasperation. "Hello," she tried not to say tiredly.

Her hands slowly returned to her sides as she stood. She turned to Kakashi. "Ready?" she asked. He shrugged in affirmation. Sakura looked at him critically. She walked towards him to adjust the buckle of his left shoulder armor. He wasn't so great at handling this new gear. His gray eye flitted over her face. Her expression was passive, controlled, calm. But tense and worn thin, all the same. Kakashi observed these contradictions, and sighed inwardly. She used to be such a cute little girl…annoying, sure, but cute. She was far from that girl now. She wasn't even a woman. She was just… A ninja. Of all the genin he'd come across, such a fate he couldn't have pinned on a more unlikely person…

Sakura was already running away at a ridiculous pace when Kakashi attention returned to the present. He rolled his left shoulder. The armor now fit perfectly without digging into his shoulder blade. He leapt and set his pace. As he caught up to her, he questioned, "One thing has been bothering me. Shikamaru said something about Naruto's DNA? But that you didn't need to dig him up?"

Not stopping, Sakura reached into the first right hand pocket of her jounin flak vest and pulled out a small envelope. She held it away from her and then let it fly from her fingers backwards into Kakashi's waiting grasp. Neither stopped running. Kakashi opened the envelope to find a torn piece of black cloth stained with…

"Blood?" Kakashi asked. "Why'd you keep something like this?" For a second, he seriously questioned the mental health of the petite figure in front of him…

"It was a mission of his. He came back hurt. I offered to wash and mend his clothing. I guess I forgot about it. It was buried deep in a bag in the back of my closet," Sakura said quietly, her voice carried by the wind back to Kakashi. She reached for a thin limb and swung from it into a somersault, landing on the thicker branch below. Her heeled boot pushed from it, using it for momentum, but a little harder than necessary. Kakashi swerved to avoid the medley of splinters and wood blocks that came hurtling his way.

It began to rain lightly. It wouldn't last long, Sakura thought, feeling cold droplets grace her face like a veil that she couldn't rip off. After a few moments, she forgot to feel them. She wasn't concentrating on how she was running anymore. She just ran. Despite her best efforts, her unfocused eyes showed that she was again a victim of the past.

_The sun was gently threading its way through the shades of the window next to her bed. Her eyes blinked open and shut slowly. Strangely enough, she was warm. Embraced. But his mission was supposed to end next week… She turned in his arms to face him, aligning their bodies—they fit perfectly. She traced his tired face with her hand, brushing a few stray hairs from his forehead. He didn't wake. She gently eased himself from his arms, tucked him into her comforter and sheets more tightly, and crawled over his body to swing her feet onto the cold wood floor. As she made her way from the bed to her bathroom, she noticed his ANBU gear in a pile next to her dresser. She walked towards the armor and… Both his shirt and pants were ripped and stained with blood from the inside out… His blood… She turned to look at his prone figure; he was laying on his side, his back to her… The rash, senseless, baka. Always careless… She walked back to him, just in case there were still any severe, residual injuries for her to heal. She doubted it; although not completely efficient, the Kyuubi was usually quick to heal his wounds. She sat next to him, but the dip she created still didn't disturb him. Sakura sighed. He must be so tired… She leant down to wrap her arms around him, the side of her face lying on his muscled arm, her torso and thighs pressing against his back. Healing chakra poured from her to him in every place their skin met; she first made sure to keep him in a neurological state of REM. He had no wounds left for her to heal, but she rejuvenated his general cell production instead; she didn't want his past transitions into and from the Kyuubi state to completely knock off his lifespan. It was a shame she hadn't created this jutsu while Tsunade was still alive… She might have lived longer… There. He was fine now. She withdrew her healing chakra, but remained holding him. She felt sleep brushing her consciousness again. "I'll fix them for you," she whispered. Naruto opened his eyes. _

"Sakura?" Kakashi asked. Sakura turned to look at him—he had moved next to her and was observing her with a cool gray eye. "It's a little rude to keep ignoring your old sensei. Especially after he's called your names twenty times. And thrown sticks at you." He held out the envelope.

Sakura took it from him, returned it to her vest pocket, and reached into her hair to pull out three twigs. She didn't know whether to scowl or laugh. "Sorry, I just," Sakura began. She didn't finish. She looked at Kakashi—of course, he had felt them, too. They had reached the shore of River Country. Sakura changed course abruptly, weaving her way through the tree limbs, Kakashi following closely behind. She skidded to a stop at the last cover of shrubbery before tendrils of sand and the sound of waves made their way to her feet and ears. Kakashi flipped into a crouch next to her. Both lowered their chakra signatures. They stared out onto the shore.

"Well, those are some of the largest Kumo-nin I've ever seen," Kakashi said lightly.

"I knew they'd use River Country," Sakura said grimly. She closed her eyes and felt for a nearby border seal. Sensing three, she said, "They'll turn back soon. Once they spot the seals, I doubt they'll stay here. They'll keep trying to trace our borders."

"Yeah," Kakashi said, "But while we're here, we might as well. Just in case they aren't intimidated by the seals."

Sakura sighed, "I should have sent out the genin teams earlier."

"And I should have saved a cat that walked out onto a street before it got run over," Kakashi said disinterestedly. Sakura gave him a disparaging glance out of the corner of her eye, biting back a whisper that would detail his incompetence with riddles, wisdom, and animal rights. As he was still sizing up the Kumo battalion, Sakura just turned her attention back to the fleet of Kumo-nins steadily making their way across the shore. She felt a rising stir of adrenaline. These men were here to attack and kill people, for reasons that couldn't justify the reaping of innocent lives. No other hidden village had adopted the no-kill policy that Sakura had engineered for Konoha: unless it was an inevitable result of self-defense, death was not encouraged to be the conclusion of any combat. But looking at these Kumo-nin, not one smaller than six feet or less than a hundred ninety pounds and armed to the teeth, she highly doubted any of them could fully understand what a no-kill policy was... Or even spell it.

Sakura stared out at the nin: her face was a mask of impassivity, even though her chest now housed a familiar, wavering cramp... A muscle jumped in her cheek from biting down so hard. There were people in Kumo who loved these men. Cared about them. Wanted to see them again. And did they all truly believe the hype of their puppet Kage? After a moment, Sakura realized she wasn't even sure of what she was looking at. She readjusted her gloves to center herself, cheek muscle still doing the hula and chest now achingly numb. Ignoring all that, she felt Kakashi waiting for her—his hand poised over his hitae-ate, gaze not moving from their soon-to-be-opponents.

"We'll warn them first," she said decisively.

OOO

From a distance, he was but a figure swathed in flowing robes, standing ground against the expanse of the desert and the sky before him. A few steps closer: he was tall and lean, graced with a straight-backed posture made menacing by the sheer force of his aura and chakra. His reputation preceded him.

"Kazekage-sama!"

Sabaku no Gaara turned to the source of the call, his fine scarlet hair shifting with the day's slight breeze. His matte teal gaze met the startled eyes of the messenger nin; the other man shifted his gaze immediately. Gaara had become used to others not being able to meet his cool stare. At first, they had turned their eyes away in revulsion, then fear. For a time after his resurrection, his people had been able to look at him with ease. However, as the years passed and his reputation and power grew, he noticed how much more frequently they now seemed to avert their eyes. Kankuro had assured him that it was in respect. As much as his relationship with his brother had improved over the years, Gaara was still unconvinced by much of his older sibling's logic.

"Kazekage-sama," the breathless messenger said. "This just arrived from Konoha." He handed to Gaara a small scroll sealed with a stamp bearing Nara-san's official Hokage seal.

Gaara took the scroll from the nin, his movements slow, steady, unhurried, and shuttered by supreme self-control. The former Jinchuuriki thanked the messenger with a nod and turned away, dismissing him. The nin bowed and was gone in a puff of smoke. Gaara tore the seal with long, elegant fingers. He opened and read the scroll, tucking it away into his robes when finished. His teal eyes focused on the horizon. The sun had just begun to set.

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly… Something terrible was approaching. He had felt its overbearing presence in the wind. It had been an unwelcome haunt for the past week.

And then, he received that letter. It had resurrected old fears and hurts, and he was certainly not grateful for the presence of those particular emotions in his life again. Particularly, he had been worried about the ghostly-familiar stirrings of rage and hatred that had seeped from a dark corner within his subconscious…

His hand tightened around the skein of gold that had accompanied the letter. For some reason, he was loath to let it out of his reach.

Sakura.

Please…

Hurry.

OOO

"_Suiton: Bakusui Shōha!" _shouted Sakura against the tendrils of electricity reaching for her. The water she summoned erupted around her and rushed for her opponent, crackling with currents once in contact with the electricity erupting from the Kumo-nin's hands. She knew the jutsu wouldn't last long—it was only meant for distraction anyway. Using a kage bunshin to deal with that particularly aggressive nin, she skidded away to the cover of the trees. Once shaded by leaves and a hefty trunk, she took a few deep breaths. She was a little out of shape, since she hadn't trained or been in heavy combat for the past week; the influx of patients at the hospital made sure of that. And twenty-five nin fully trained jounin against two, however famous, wasn't quite the reintroduction to fitness she was hoping for. But, there was no time like the present. There were only fourteen left anyway.

Leaping out from under the shrubbery, she engaged two nin in taijutsu. She knew her affinity for earth was useless against lighting, so she hoped to busy their hands in close combat to prevent them from releasing their numerous techniques. She blocked a kick with her forearm and grabbed the nin's leg. Through a rip in his pants leg, the blue-haired nin felt a cold fingertip touch his calf. The last thing the Kumo jounin saw before passing out was the stare of sympathetic green eyes. Sakura had drained every single last drop of chakra from the man's system. It would take at least a week for him to regain the amount of chakra that he lost. And therein was the ultimate jutsu she had developed to compensate for her own lack of chakra: the leeching of other shinobi on contact, particularly skin-to-skin, which heavily influenced her decision to switch from regular leather gloves to fingerless ones. The development of this jutsu was her pet project for a full year when she was seventeen. While she had no visible wells for this stolen chakra on her skin, like the three diamonds on her forehead, with the help of Neji she had built a second set of chakra coils within her body. This chakra network traced her natural pathways, remaining empty until she decided to fill it with leeched chakra. Therefore, in battle, even if she leeched only one shinobi, her own chakra system would become a reserve. Her endurance had become limitless. The only potential drawbacks were the physical repercussions of channeling so much offensive chakra. To compensate for this, when designing her secondary chakra network, Sakura emphasized the veining of chakra into all of her muscles, so that there would be an automatic healing session if lactic acid should overflow, without requiring any of her mental concentration.

The other nin she had been battling paused in horror as his teammate slumped on the ground without any apparent physical attack from the pink-haired Konoha kunoichi. Believing it to be a genjutsu, he formed his hands into a tiger seal and blocked his chakra, "Kai!"

Nothing. He opened his eyes in bewilderment. The pink-haired kunoichi was now in combat with three other nin, senbon dancing between her fingers before being released with deadly speed, all the while weaving through offensive physical attacks almost too fluidly to watch comfortably. One shinobi was foolish enough to come within arms reach of the kunoichi. He was debilitated by a chakra scalpel to his chest. With blinding speed, she dodged the roundhouse kick of another nin, appeared behind him in a blur of pink and with two quick taps to his temples, he also slumped to the ground in unconsciousness. The remaining nin charged at her with two fistfuls of lightning. The kunoichi glared at the crackling energy and formed rapid hand seals: Ram, Horse, Rooster. _"Mizu no Tatsumaki!"_ A swirling, high-pressured vortex of water surrounded the nin, redirecting his lightning attack to surround and overwhelm him. Electrified, the nin's body smoked as it lay on the damp ground.

"_Raiton: Shichū Shibari" _The kunoichi turned sharply to find herself surrounded by four giant pillars, each preparing to spit copious amounts of lightning at her. She quickly brought her leg up, and slammed it into the ground with a kick that split the earth with enough force to send huge chunks of rock hurtling towards the sky, the four giant pillars in pieces with it. One such chunk housed the nin who'd called the pillars. He was now staggering from imbalance and forced to throw himself onto the surface of the rock. The kunoichi leapt after the unintentionally ascending nin, leaping from falling rock to rock, climbing her way towards her prey. The nin now had gained some bearing, and jumped down from his now gradually descending perch—at the wrong moment. Just as he began his freefall, he lifted his legs to avoid a sweeping kick to his shins, forcing his body to fall in a horizontal position—just as the kunoichi intended. An ominously solid, chakra-enhanced boot came swinging into his chest, sending his body into the ground to lie in a miniature crater. Now falling, the kunoichi used the surrounding debris as impromptu missiles for her opponents. The earth began to shake from her rapid assault.

The nin merely watched in disbelief as his comrades fell one by one. He was still frozen when the kunoichi landed in a crouch on the ground, dust and dirt now mingling in the air. As she rose, her pink ponytail whipping in the wind, he snapped to attention. Running to his teammate, the one who'd fallen victim to some inconspicuous attack from the kunoichi, he sent the woman a fearful glance, grateful that she was engaged in combat with another one of the shinobi in his battalion. He crouched next to his comrade and checked for his pulse and breath—still alive. But what had happened? The nin turned to look at the kunoichi, who had just incapacitated her opponent with a quick punch to the face, one that sent him like a missile into the trunk of a tree… Sixty yards away.

The kunoichi focus was now on him. Her back was still to him, but he felt her chakra-laced intent. He stood up hastily, glancing at his prone teammate before glaring at the green flak-jacketed back of the kunoichi. She lifted a gloved hand to adjust her shoulder armor. She was taking her time.

"What'd you do to him?" he cried, swiftly beginning a chain of hand seals. The kunoichi flitted out of sight and the last thing Kumo shinobi heard before blacking out was, "This."

As the other shinobi slumped unconscious in front of her, Sakura's stomach coiled in warning: her kage bunshin had been defeated. Sakura disappeared into a whirl of cherry blossom petals, a barrage of kunai and shuriken embedded into the ground where she had stood. She reappeared a distance away.

Suddenly, the air was filled with the chirping of birds. Sakura's eyes widened and her gut clenched... _Chidori…_

"_Raikiri!"_

Kakashi's deep voice cut her from her from her reminiscences. Sakura shook her head in shock. _Even in the middle of battle_… Three kunai came hurtling for her heart and lungs. She spun, caught all three in between her fingers and with a flick of her wrist, sent them careening back to their source. The Kumo nin slumped in pain—she'd targeted his shoulders and left hand.

She formed the appropriate hand seals while running, stopping in the middle of the clearing with a, "_Magen_: _Fukusuu Jubaku Satysu!"_ The remaining seven nin froze in their tracks, including the ones in combat with Kakashi. As they stared into space, believing that they were imprisoned to the trunk of a tree by the iron grip of its menacing limbs, Sakura casually walked from nin to nin, sapping each of their remaining chakra stores. Within minutes, Sakura and Kakashi were the only two figures remaining on a battlefield ripped apart by lightning and immensely soggy from numerous Suiton ninjutsus. Since lightning jutsus were only prone to wind attacks, Sakura and Kakashi had to resort to redirecting the electric currents with water rather than overpowering them.

Sakura began piling Kumo nin onto her shoulder. Kakashi caught on. He grabbed six jounin by the scruffs of their necks, three with one hand, the remaining with his other hand. In this fashion, they lay all twenty-five ninjas side by side just inside the border of Konoha. Sakura drained the remaining ninjas she and Kakashi had defeated earlier. Kakashi noticed a slight blue glow from the visible skin around Sakura's hands and neck. Sakura analyzed the direction of his gaze and explained curtly, "It's twenty-five chakra reserves, Kakashi."

"You don't usually drain more than four shinobi," Kakashi responded coolly. "Worried something's up?"

Sakura refused to look at him and instead rearranged one nin into a more comfortable position. Standing up and dusting off her hands, she disregarded Kakashi's question and said, "Our shinobi should be here shortly to take them in for interrogation. Ibiki and Inoichi-san are going to have a field day."

"I feel it, too, Sakura," Kakashi began. Sakura cut him off, "I don't want to think that this will amount to anything…" Her face suddenly tightened as if she had just remembered something unpleasant. With the slow pace of a recollection and the emotionless tone of relaying rather than saying, she added, "The dead should stay buried."

It was an unusually quiet following moment. She fixed an empty gaze on him, as if checking his face for confirmation. "Right, Kakashi?" she asked softly. He could only stare blankly back before she began walking away. The blue glow she had been emitting was now thoroughly diminished, fully incorporated into her second chakra coil system.

Kakashi didn't challenge the dismissal. Nor the subtle contestation she so unknowingly, easily wielded. Pulling down his hitae-ate to cover his Sharingan, he changed the subject, calling out skeptically, "Magen: _Fukusuu_ Jubaku Satysu?" as he began following after her. Sakura brushed off the dirt gracing her pants as she said nonchalantly, "Genjutsu: _Multiple_ Tree Binding Death. I thought I'd alter the original a little."

Kakashi hid his disbelief as well as he could. He was relatively successful; Sakura's back was turned. "Kurenai had said it was only possible for one opponent at a time," he offered, not mentioning his own agreement.

Readjusting her holsters and bag, Sakura said lightly, "Well then, Kurenai-sempai was wrong." She leapt for the trees, still intent on making record time to Suna, despite being set back by this small skirmish. For a few moments Kakashi stared at Sakura's diminishing figure, at the student he'd always felt guilty about leaving behind… Maybe, it'd been the best thing for her.

Whatever helps him sleep at night.

He leapt after her.

OOO

They entered Suna's gates with little trouble, as Suna's residents were familiar with Konoha's Haruno Sakura. After the death of Konoha's Rokudaime, she'd spent a few months at Suna's hospital, rehabilitating their health care system, and simultaneously earning their high regard. The serious kunoichi impressed easily with her humbleness and respect for Suna customs, even when she expressed her disagreement with any particular one, such as Suna's strict adherence to capital punishment.

The jounins guarding the entrance nodded in respect towards the two shinobi, intimidated by the unobtrusively powerful chakra presence both Konoha shinobi were famous for. They both hurried for the Kazekage Tower, the adobe and stone buildings passing by them in beige blurs. As magnificent as Suna was, neither of them wanted this particular visit to last for long.

As they drew closer to the Tower, numerous passing jounin stared in surprise but nonetheless greeted them warmly. What were two of Konoha's most infamous ninjas doing here? The pair was as courteous as they could be to questions and greetings while half-running. Once in the Tower, Sakura took the stairs four at a time, pushing past people with breathless apologies, reiterated by Kakashi, who was following closely behind.

Without knocking, as Gaara must have already felt their chakra signatures, Sakura and Kakashi entered the Kazekage office. Gaara was looking out the window, his back to them. He'd gotten taller, Sakura thought arbitrarily. Catching her breath, she stepped forward, "Gaara."

Gaara took his time to turn to her. Their eyes met and held.

"Sakura."

She waited. Interacting with Gaara took patience.

He walked slowly to his desk, settling into his chair as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. Sakura moved closer into the room. Kakashi remained by the door, gratefully slumping into a nearby chair. Sakura was right, he mused. He was getting old.

"Gaara, what's going on?" Sakura demanded quietly.

Gaara didn't say anything. Instead, he reached into his robes and extracted a folded letter, worn as if it had been read many times. Looking at it for a moment, he then held it out to her. Sakura grabbed for it impatiently. She unfolded the paper and scanned its contents. The blood gradually drained from her face. Her eyes hardened. She looked years older. Noticing the drastic, and not far from ghastly, change in Sakura's mien, Kakashi half-stood in concern, "What is it?"

Sakura didn't answer. She could barely breathe. She turned to Gaara slowly. "What token?" she whispered tightly. A tremor she failed to conceal saturated the question, as it was torn from the deepest, most hidden parts of her consciousness. Kakashi walked to her, placed a hand gently on her shoulder and pried the letter from her fingers with his other hand. He read it. His single visible eye narrowed.

No… It's not possible…

Sakura moved from Kakashi's tightening grasp. She walked around the desk, drawing nearer to Gaara's impassive, reclined figure. He was tense. Although his face showed nothing, his left hand was balled into a fist. Sakura knelt before him, her movements slow and steady, but her heart in her throat from fear, worry, and furtive prayers that she was simply dreaming a bad dream. Gaara eyes stayed fixated on some point past her shoulder. Sakura reached out slowly to place her left hand tentatively on his right. He still didn't seem to acknowledge her, although he tensed at her touch. Her straining eyes stayed fixated imploringly on his impassive face. After a few moments, however, she felt his hand turn under hers so that their palms met. His fingers clenched to grip hers tightly. Desperately. Almost painfully.

"Gaara," she pleaded quietly. "What token?"

Gaara still chose to not respond. But his left clenched fist slowly opened and was held out close to Sakura's face. She froze. Kakashi looked up from his examination of the letter and stiffened as well. Sakura's right hand slowly reached out, shaking slightly, to the object glimmering in Gaara's palm. Her thumb and forefinger gently picked up the object. Her hand turned upward so that it now rested in her palm. Green eyes met teal in unspoken conference. Sakura closed her hand tightly. She stood suddenly and walked out the door, shutting it behind her with a quiet 'click'. Kakashi could hardly believe what he just saw. Peeking out from Sakura's fist had been the end of a folded, tied skein of long hair. It was gold.

The exact color of Naruto's.

OOO

Icha Icha Paradise dangled from his gloved hand. Perched on Gaara's windowsill, Kakashi was too confused and distracted to immerse himself in his favorite pastime. The sun was setting. He winced as a sharp pain hit his knee; it had been sliced at by a lucky Kumo-nin. He had been able to stem some of the bleeding and hide the injury from Sakura so far. He looked at the clock on the wall. Sakura had been at the lab for thirty minutes already. He glanced at the Kazekage. Gaara was sitting at his desk, paperwork spread out before him, inked brush ready in one hand. He was still, however; his face a porcelain mask. Well, it was usually, but it seemed more toneless than usual.

Kakashi turned back to the view outside. He then looked at the letter on his lap. From Otogakure's Onkyoukage, it demanded the alliance of Suna. If Suna should refuse, it forebode the torture and death of a "precious person," mistakenly believed to already be dead. A token was included to assure validity and to hint at the identity of this precious person. Kakashi studied the handwriting. Sasuke's calligraphy had become crabbier, more compressed, but nonetheless comprised of broad, sure strokes. He sighed. Team 7 was an amalgam of paradoxes: Sakura—controlled but edgy. Sasuke—stressed but steady. Naruto—dead but alive. Sai—alive but dead. Tenzo—individual but cloned. Himself—old but not respected. Sakura entered the room and closed the door behind her. Speak of the devil, Kakashi thought dryly.

Her steps into the center of the room slowed before she just gave up and stayed by the door. Aware of the anticipation that was haunting them, she resisted the weight inside her throat. Hesitating, she couldn't look at either of them as she said in a slightly robotic tone, "The DNA matches." Forcing herself to take deep breaths, to empty her mind, Sakura implored with herself to detach as much as possible from all this. She still could barely believe anything she'd just discovered. If her highly logical mind was still reeling, she didn't trust the state of anything else she could say was hers—especially the blood that was beating so frantically in her ears. She couldn't even gauge how much slack to give herself. After all, the results had just confirmed her deepest doubts, deepest wish, and deepest fear. Things like this didn't happen. They shouldn't. Sakura was breathing too heavily now. She closed her eyes to quell the faint dizziness between her eyes.

"How is that possible?" Kakashi asked, after recovering from his own spelled silence. Gaara just stared at her. "I'd like to know myself," Sakura said tiredly. She held out the skein before her as if it were going to come alive and bite her. "An exact match," she whispered. She'd explain what she did know.

"The length of the hair," Sakura began, stretching the skein out between her hands, "Indicates that it hadn't been cut for approximately three years, when at least calculated with the average hair growth rate." She paused and continued, an almost imperceptible shake to her voice, "Upon closer examination, the keratin composition of the hair also implies that the subject… Naruto… Had suffered from malnutrition and extreme stress…" Her voice broke. She tried to force out the remainder of the diagnosis, but nothing came out. She sighed in defeat. Gaara had been listening, his facial expression frozen, non-reactive. Now he stood, walked to Sakura and led her to sit in his chair. She thanked him quietly, placed the hair on his desk and proceeded to place her head in her hands, squeezing not lightly.

_Get yourself together…_

"This has to be some kind of a trick," Kakashi said, a hint of uncharacteristic chill lacing his words. "You didn't try to see if this is some kind of concentrated genjutsu or henge?" Sakura didn't have enough strength to glare at the unintentional, but still sharp, jibe at her competency. She was used to it, anyway. So she chose not to answer. The question might as well have been rhetorical; she knew Kakashi was just as upset and confused as she was.

Sakura decided now was also the time to address the other reason she and Kakashi had traveled to Suna. Looking up at Gaara, she said firmly, "Retract your declaration of war."

"No," Gaara said stonily. "What you discovered only deepens my resolve to crush Oto."

"Then wait," Sakura said desperately. "Oto hasn't attacked Suna yet." Her face and tone hardened, "And you have no valid reason to declare war on them. Are you willing to use the lives of Suna shinobi for your personal issues?" Gaara glared at her. Sakura wasn't finished. "If you invade Oto, you're simply getting yourself and your people into a huge mess. One, Iwa is allied with Oto and conveniently, there is a huge accessible front between Iwa and Suna." Sighing heavily she continued, "Two, if your troops fight, ours will have to as well. The fact that Konoha's ninja code does not really resemble Suna's anymore makes that a problem." Her expression grew more pensive, "And three, don't underestimate Oto's power. Sasuke may be an idiot in practically everything he does, but not when it comes to killing people."

"Shikamaru thinks the war could be won easily if we fought in an offensive state," Kakashi noted skeptically. Sakura shook her head. "He's underestimating him," she said tiredly. "Shikamaru's never thought highly of Sasuke and he's also never fought him." Sakura rubbed her forehead and said, "Even if we did win, the losses would probably have future generations coining this war as the Fifth Great Shinobi War." Her voice became more aggressive, "And that I will not let happen. Not while I'm alive." Kakashi and Gaara were wise enough to not challenge this statement while within such close proximity to the kunoichi.

Sakura sighed. She closed her eyes and bent her head. She pressed her lips together and shook her head…

Both men looked away uncomfortably; it was unsettling to witness anyone, let alone a shinobi, let alone a friend, let alone _her_, teeter so visibly on the edge of a breakdown.

Head still bent, Sakura said quietly, "Please don't make this any more chaotic than it has to be." Gaara's forehead creased in reluctance.

"At least wait for Konoha to figure out what had happened. If Naruto is alive…" Sakura forced herself to continue, "If he's alive, so many things change. We have to be prepared for those problems instead of blindly throwing ourselves into this one."

Gaara remained standing, stoic. Sakura lifted her head to study his stern profile. Her eyes narrowed, not at Gaara, but turned inward at the memory of someone else… "Don't let him have his way." Gaara glanced at her pensive face out of the corner of his eye. Kakashi understood.

He broke the silence for her. "I agree with Sakura. Sasuke is just testing you, Gaara. He knows of your friendship with Naruto. He's playing with you. A declaration of war against Oto is what he wants. It solidifies the legitimacy of Oto as a sovereign nation. Since you'd be expected to side with us, in the international arena you're undermining Konoha's ability to fight a war competently. This is a secret letter," he said, gesturing to the paper in his hand. "No other country knows that Oto has aggravated Suna. It'll look like Konoha had no choice but to involve Suna because it was losing." He closed Icha Icha with a snap and returned it to his hip pack. He walked to Gaara's desk and exchanged the letter for the skein of blonde hair. "And quite frankly," he said, "I don't believe this."

"DNA and isotopic compositions don't lie, Kakashi. They can't," Sakura muttered in a monotone, face now hidden under a supporting hand. Her head felt so heavy.

"I was there," Kakashi threw back a little too quickly for his own taste. He grimaced, checking himself, before saying more calmly, "I saw his body."

Sakura tensed. Gaara noticed. Turning to Kakashi, he said, "So was I. But I believe Sakura."

"Don't get me wrong," said Kakashi. "I believe Sakura. I just don't believe in this." He let the hairs fall back onto the desk. His single eye stared at the glimmer of gold winking back at him. "I don't believe Sasuke." His voice had quieted considerably. If Kakashi had been any other man, guilt and disgust would be choking those four simple words. Sakura, however, knew Kakashi well enough to be familiar with the man's tendency to blame himself in excess, and somehow manage to hide it from the rest of the world.

One small sigh and one thought later, she suddenly lifted her head, eyes unfocused yet blazing with a steadily growing energy that distracted the ascetic quality of the fragment she uttered next: "But I wasn't."

"Wasn't what?" asked Kakashi tiredly. He moved to sit on Gaara's desk.

Sakura looked up at him and Gaara, her eyes wide and eyebrows creased in worry. "I wasn't at the funeral. I wasn't at the funeral preparations for his body. And more importantly, I didn't perform the autopsy." Both men stared at her, but followed her thinking.

"Are you suggesting the body wasn't his?" Gaara asked.

"I know it sounds farfetched," Sakura said quietly, "But Kabuto has been under Sasuke for a number of years. He's famous for his manipulation of corpses." She remembered, "When Naruto and I were fifteen, we went to an Oto base to track Sai down. Kabuto tried to throw us off with a corpse that looked exactly like Sai, but wasn't a genjutsu or henge. Tenzo-taichou was only able to tell it was fake by the markings behind the corpse's ears. I wouldn't be surprised if that little giveaway was perfected by now." A frown gradually marred her face as fatally belated realizations dawned on her.

"Who performed the autopsy?" Sakura asked Kakashi hurriedly, lack of breath diminishing the volume of her voice, but not the volume of urgency she didn't bother trying to hide.

Kakashi shook his head. "There was none. Shikamaru told me he was simply pronounced dead on the battlefield and taken back to Konoha. The funeral was immediately after." As the planes of her face rearranged to form an expression that bespoke volumes, Kakashi sighed and said gently with a tinge of exasperation, "Don't look at me like that, Sakura. You were in a coma. We didn't know how long you'd be out, so we held the procession as soon as we could to keep the body from decomposing too much."

"There are _plenty_ of ways of preserving a corpse," Sakura began heatedly, but was interrupted by Kakashi, who said firmly, "Sakura. We argued this topic out three years ago. We are not arguing about this again."

Sakura glared but held her retort, resolving to save her energy. The tenseness she felt was being translated into her clenched fists and narrowed eyes. She was terribly sick and tired of arguing anyway. "Then who were the ones who pronounced him dead?"

"Ino and Kiba," Kakashi said.

"Kiba?"

Kakashi tapped his nose, "Sense of smell, remember? Apparently there's a difference in smell between the living and the dead."

Sakura thought for a moment. "Then wouldn't he have been able to tell if the body was really Naruto's? Every person has their own individual scent."

"Well, he didn't mention anything, so I'm assuming he didn't believe the body was anyone else's but Naruto's," said Kakashi. He refrained from sighing again, so he chose to harden his voice instead, "Sakura, don't fall for this. There is no reason why Sasuke would have planned all of this and waited this long to spring it upon us. Think of all he would've had to do to get to this point. More importantly, I highly doubt he would have willingly kept Naruto alive for this long."

Much to Kakashi's dismay but wry expectation, she didn't look convinced. She confirmed that with a frown. And then suddenly, somewhere transgressing her complex trains of thought, two pieces of the puzzle came together. She stood up abruptly. Kakashi and Gaara waited and watched as her eyes roved distractedly across the space in front of her, as if she were reading a text only she could see.

"My dreams," she whispered to herself. "Flashbacks… They're all…" Her throat was dry. She swallowed heavily. Looking Kakashi square in the eye, she said, "You told me before that you thought something was not right, too. Well, that something is this. I don't want to believe this anymore than you do. But reality is reality. We have to accept it. First, we have to figure it out. And I know how. But we'll have to hurry." She turned to Gaara. "Will you hold off until I'm finished with this investigation?" Gaara stared at her for a moment before nodding slightly. That was all Sakura needed. She let out a small breath in relief. "I'll send you word of what happens," she assured Gaara. He nodded again and moved to reclaim his seat. "Make sure you do," Gaara said quietly. "I'll give you a week. Then I'm moving my troops."

"I just need two days," Sakura reassured him in her rush to the door. She motioned to Kakashi, "We have to hurry home." As Kakashi followed her out the door, one could hear him muttering, "…no respect…"

Just before she closed the door, Sakura faced Gaara, "Try not to do anything rash. I can't be there to save you all the time." Gaara's left eye gave a small twitch at the reminder. Must she always bring that up? It's not like saving him from a pack of his rabid fan girls during each of her extended stays in Suna chalks up to that much of an accomplishment. Reading his face, her eyes smiled when her face couldn't, and she left. Even in her haste, the door didn't make a sound as it was shut softly behind her.

Gaara leaned back in his chair, exhausted. As he stared up at the ceiling, he could vaguely recall the person Sakura was three years ago… Before… He shut his eyes, only a small crease on the bridge of his nose giving away the stubborn turbulence housed inside his ribcage.

Was she any closer now to returning to how she was then? He was more familiar with the aftermath and didn't have any answers. His eyes reopened slowly. Was he himself any closer to recovery? He couldn't tell. Soul-searching wasn't a part of his daily routine. Understanding people was even less so.

But there was one thing about Sakura he felt confident in relating to. Gaara turned his head to look at the skein of hair on his desk, forgotten looking…lonely.

They'd both lost a precious person.

OOO

Squinting against the sanded wind, he attempted to make sense of Sakura's frantic rush for home. "What do you plan on doing?" Kakashi asked.

"Two things," said Sakura curtly against wind resistance. In this bright sun, he immediately noticed her skin already glowing blue.

Kakashi sighed and waited for more information. Upon receiving none, he considered his options: ask and provoke Sakura on a touchy subject, or stay quiet.

"Care to explain?" He chose the former.

"Not now," Sakura said stiffly. Kakashi was silenced, forcing Sakura to weigh her options. A wordless response was usually problematic when it came from Kakashi. She glanced at him. "It's nothing personal, Kakashi. I'll tell you, but not here. We're running in a desert. Less talking equals less sand in mouth." Her statement was aided by a devilish blast of air that sent sand into places neither Sakura or Kakashi would have liked sand to be in.

"Once we reach the forest, we have to rest," Kakashi said firmly.

Sakura, about to protest, turned her head to him angrily, but was rendered speechless by the pallor of Kakashi's visible skin. She skidded to a stop, throwing out her arm to stop her former sensei. Manhandling him with much aplomb, she took his arms firmly in her hands and glared at him.

"Where is it?" she asked gruffly.

"Nowhere?" he replied innocently, managing to give her a little smile despite the small bead of pained sweat sliding incriminatingly down his temple.

"How old are you Kakashi, that you'd be hiding injuries from me?" she scolded.

"Geezers don't age."

"Figures," Sakura retorted, but following with a sudden grin that all but declared that she had some kind of one up on him. Kakashi looked at the gloved hands on his biceps. They were glowing green. She'd gotten talented enough for him to not feel her chakra at all. By the time he'd registered that she was already pulling away. Kakashi didn't need to look to know the cut on his knee was fully healed. All the same, he rolled his knee experimentally; he'd gotten used to less talented med-nins on recent missions.

"I'm sorry."

Kakashi looked up in surprise. "About what?"

Sakura refused to look at anything else but Kakashi's feet. Wind pushed against her, strands of dark pink hair shuttering her face, but he managed to hear her say, "I didn't see to the health of my teammate. I'm sorry." Before Kakashi could respond, she had turned away, desert wind whipping her hair behind her. She crouched slightly and in the next millisecond, was bounding across the ever-changing sand dunes.

"It's alright," he said softly, staring after her diminishing figure.

_Would he always be looking at her back now?_

"It's alright," he said again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

At Sakura's chakra-enhanced expeditious pace, the pair reached Konoha's border by nightfall. Without a campfire, both slumped onto cool grass, more tired than either of them would ever admit. As was tradition, Sakura and Kakashi lay on their backs, Sakura's eyes drinking in the starry sky and Kakashi's face plastered into Icha Icha Paradise's pages.

However much she used to enjoy looking at that endlessly hopeful, if unreachable, stretch of space as a child, Sakura soon had enough of the naïve hopefulness blinking back at her. She shifted onto her side. Her fingers stretched out and played absentmindedly with strands of grass. At the sound of tearing plant life, Kakashi's face reappeared from underneath two orange covers to glance at her, noting how her eyes were strangely just as dark as the shaded turf. When she was a little girl, they used to be a shade of green all their own… Not really wanting to think about that, he replaced Icha Icha Paradise back onto his face.

"Two hours?" Sakura suggested tiredly. Kakashi grunted in either agreement or protest. He didn't have much of a choice, either way. Sakura felt her eyes slide shut in exhaustion, though her hand still weaved through cool green stalks.

"What two methods?" Kakashi asked, breaking the silence. Sakura cracked one bleary eye to look at Kakashi, asking in a moderately grumpy voice, "What are you talking about?" She then scowled; his blasted book stayed perched comfortably on his face. Did she just dream that he asked her a question?

"Back on the desert, you said you had two ways of confirming that Naruto is alive," his slightly muffled voice came again from beneath pages and pages of smut.

Now, both of Sakura's eyes blinked open. So, she wasn't dreaming.

"Exhume his grave."

Kakashi inwardly grimaced. "And the second?" He was met by silence. He waited.

"A jutsu."

Kakashi sighed. It was too late to be prying information from someone like Sakura. Still, he kind of had all of two tired hours to kill. "What kind of jutsu?"

"Telepathy."

Kakashi coughed a tad and removed his best friend from his face to breathe properly. He turned his head to look at Sakura. His disbelieving "Pardon?" was cut short by the slight raising of his eyebrows, as he bravely witnessed the efficient destruction of vegetation Sakura was now steadily afflicting onto all land within arms' reach. His observations were interrupted by her voice.

"Naruto and I… A year before he left for Oto… He and I had created a jutsu together. I think it's classified at a relatively forbidden level, but we didn't make it publicly available." With no more grass left, Sakura's hand now played with the earth, sifting it delicately with calloused fingers. "It was designed to secure a telepathic bond between two people. It could be manually turned on and off at the users' will with a series of hand seals." Sakura stared at her dirt-dusted fingers before turning onto her back. "If Naruto is alive…" she began slowly, "I think that this jutsu could explain the dreams and flashbacks I've been having of him…" Her voice faded out almost imperceptibly.

_But… _

"But if you guys had this connection, wouldn't you be getting more than dreams and flashbacks? That's a pretty indirect use of such a direct jutsu," mused Kakashi curiously.

Sakura's left hand tightened into a fist. Her eyes faced the sky, which allowed them to be unfocused… completely distant. Kakashi settled back—he could recognize when he'd be in for a wait.

"There are two layers to this jutsu," she began reluctantly. "The first, most fundamental layer opens up a bridge between the two minds. The second layer is basically like a door. The first layer requires the two users to activate the jutsu together. It need be performed only once to first establish that connection. The second layer requires hand seals to close and open the users' respective doors at their discretion. Once the doors are both open, the users could communicate telepathically. But if one door were closed, it would be the same effect as having both doors closed." She reached out with her hand to trace a constellation slowly with her finger.

"So," Kakashi mused, shifting into a more comfortable position on the dirt, "You believe his door is closed?"

"No," Sakura said. She began tracing another constellation. "I _know_… that he had deactivated his side of the seal completely." Her hand fell back to her side—spent from reaching out for so long. "For him, there was no door. And no bridge."

Kakashi was suddenly tempted to lecture Sakura on why he'd replaced his social life with Icha Icha Paradise: real drama, and the entrapping confusion that accompanied it almost inseparably, was an unnecessary part of life, unless you asked for it. Refrained by his own curiosity, he said, "But you said earlier that the jutsu had something to do with your flashbacks and dreams. How could that be possible if he deactivated the jutsu?"

Sakura was silent with the slow realization that it was at this moment, this place, and this time that she had to face a doubt that had been plaguing her for years. In her disbelief and fear, she shuddered. It was getting colder.

Secrets… It kills you to keep them. It kills you to tell them.

"I don't know," Sakura said, more to herself than to Kakashi. _I don't want to know… _

"So," Kakashi tried again. "He deactivated his side. You didn't, right?"

"Yes," she said quietly. "I just…closed my door." Her eyes searched the inky blackness desperately, as though she could steal a carefree moment if she stared hard enough.

_('I'd feel better knowing you could contact me at anytime during any of your missions,' he said, looking up at her seriously. He shuffled a few papers on his desk and pulled out a scroll. It was obviously worn from being handled so often. The random ink splotches also told her that this indeed was a work of Naruto's. 'Look here, Sakura-chan. I just need to tweak these spots in the jutsu and it'll be done!' He scratched his head in confusion. 'And that's where you come in. I wanted to surprise you with the finished version of this, but then I realized I couldn't finish it without you.' He grinned up at her. 'Even if we're thousands of miles away, we could always reach each other. And if you ever needed help, I could always go to you!' She raised an eyebrow skeptically. 'And of course, if I needed help, I would always let you know, too…' he substituted bashfully. She gazed at him searchingly, speechless. She circled around his desk. He looked at her questioningly as she reached out with a small hand. She fingered a tear in the shoulder of his Hokage robes. 'Oh, that thing,' he laughed, enveloping her hand in his and squeezing gently. 'Konohamaru got lucky.' For a moment, she considered scolding him about playing around in his official clothing. She sighed; it would go in one ear and out the other. 'I'll fix this tonight,' she said finally. Naruto grinned. 'Sure thing, Sakura-chan.' She smiled and bent down to kiss his cheek before walking towards the door. Just before she closed it, she turned to look at him. He was beaming at her. Ah. So he'd already figured out that she'd taken the scroll. She lifted her left hand, tossed the scroll and caught it playfully. 'I'll have this ready by then,' she said quietly. He didn't say anything. He couldn't, she observed. He was smiling too hard.)_

Sakura closed her eyes. Kakashi had returned Icha Icha to its rightful place on his face. Through the pages he mumbled, "Why can't you open the door to your side of the jutsu now instead of waiting till we get to Konoha? This is pretty urgent." Sakura gave him a glance out the corner of her eye. This was the first time she heard Kakashi allow trepidation to fall into his voice, however slightly.

Sakura didn't answer immediately, choosing to shut her eyes again. Kakashi felt sleep tinge the edges of his consciousness.

"I forgot how."

Sakura was a bad liar. Kakashi sighed, "Really?"

"Yeah."

Almost impossible to achieve in literature, single word responses were sometimes essays in answers. All because of her voice, Kakashi decided. There was too much in it that he didn't want to know.

"I'd made myself forget," he heard her continue. There wasn't much air left in Sakura's voice anymore, as if she was trying to hold something back.

Kakashi's eyes remained closed. Guess she wasn't lying, then. "So, when did you make yourself forget? When he died?"

There was a bit of silence.

"Yes," Kakashi barely heard.

"When he died," Sakura's voice repeated a little stronger…

He'll figure out the reasons behind his inquisitiveness and she'll forgive him, both much later in the future. "When did he deactivate his seal?" But if he'd make this easier for her, he might not need to ask for it, "Before his death?"

Sakura's reticence was an affirmation.

"Why'd he do it?" He suspected this question would entitle him to ask for forgiveness… For a lot of things, if not only for asking his tortured student a lot of tortuous questions…

Sakura shifted onto her side, turning her back towards Kakashi. She was silent for longer than he thought necessary. Kakashi debated removing Icha Icha from his face again to check if she fell asleep, but—"Because he wanted to," she managed to say.

'End conversation,' Kakashi decided mercifully. He let himself drift into a light sleep, convincing himself to be thoroughly untroubled by all he had just heard. Love-related angst didn't really have an important place in his head—unless it was typed out and bound between two flashy orange covers. This mission did result in a few conclusions however: one, a member of his genin team might be alive (happy); two, another member of his team was responsible for the conspiracy behind the dead member's death (sigh); three, the final member sleeping next to him was probably the unluckiest genin in the history of Konoha's Ninja Academy to have ever been assigned a team (pity); four, he was lucky enough to have been given responsibility of the most messed up team to ever grace Konoha's books since the Sannin (still debating); five, something big was coming (used to it); six, he needed to stop thinking and sleep. He did.

But her eyes remained open, blinking occasionally, throughout their rest.

OOO

"Hokage-sama!"

Shikamaru looked up from his desk with a raised eyebrow. "Take a breather, kid." The messenger chuunin gratefully did. Shikamaru grinned in amusement and adjusted the first earring on his left ear, "So, what's up?"

"Two things, Hokage-sama. Border patrol reported the arrival of Haruno-sama and Hatake-san." Shikamaru looked at his desk calendar. "Damn, she's fast," he muttered. Turning back to the still slightly gasping chuunin, he asked, "And the second?"

"The elders are calling you to an emergency meeting."

And he was trying so hard to quit smoking. Shikamaru held back a groan and put down his pen to rub his temples with stiff fingers, "What now? Did they specify their reasons?"

The chuunin shook his shoulder-length brown hair. "Not much, sir. Just that they received something from Otogakure."

Startled, Shikamaru looked at the chuunin disconcertedly and frowned. "What would they get from…" He shook his head, mystified, but nonetheless stood up hurriedly, his gut screaming at him to prepare for the worst. Grabbing his Hokage yukata from the back of his chair, he swept out of his office, the much shorter chuunin following closely behind.

OOO

"_There you go, Asuka-chan," Sakura said cheerfully. "I can't say to stop practicing climbing trees, but be more careful. Try circling the trunk of a tree rather than going up too far, for now. You'll see me less, then." _

_The little girl poked her knee delicately. She was just fine. She beamed up at Sakura and hopped off the patient table and rushed outside. Ten Ten pushed away from the wall she was leaning against and gave Sakura one of her easy smiles, "She doesn't talk, apparently." Sakura glanced after the girl sympathetically and readjusted the paper roll covering the table, saying softly, "Can't say with certainty if that's a bad or good thing." Ten Ten grinned, "See you later. Hopefully not with another of my genins." Sakura nodded in agreement, smiling a quick smile, "Sure thing." Ten Ten hefted the strap of her scroll against her back and closed the door behind her with a quiet 'click'. Sakura finished organizing the table, leaning for a moment on its sturdy frame. Pushing herself off suddenly, she made her way to the windows and pulled open the curtains. Konoha stared back at her and smiled. What choice did she have? She smiled back. _

Home_. _

_Her pace was slow down the quiet hallway. There were less patients seeking help from the hospital than from when she was an amateur medic-nin. Good government and international peace does help lighten the load from her back. _

_Although… _

_Her gaze narrowed as her thoughts lingered around—_

_Her eyes snapped open; a chuunin was running towards her. Sakura turned and met the chuunin with an amiable smile. _

"_Sakura-hime—," the chuunin began._

"'_Sakura' is just fine," she said lightly. _

_The chuunin blushed, "Sakura." The young kunoichi had always admired Haruno-sama. Speaking this close to her was more than a little intimidating. "The Hokage is requesting your immediate presence," she said finally, blushing and looking down at her idol's toes. She thus missed Sakura's immediate reaction. _

_Sakura's smile withered. She tried to maintain it for as long as she could, "Thank you, Kane-chan." She walked quickly away, leaving the ecstatic and speechless chuunin stuttering behind her, '_She knew my name!'

_Sakura turned the corner and leaned against the wall. 'Should I go?' Green eyes opened and narrowed in anger. 'I have nothing to lose.' Her loose, long pink hair whipped behind her as she leapt out of the nearest window towards the Hokage Tower. _

_She took a breath before she knocked on the door. Two breaths. Three. _

'_Come in." _

_Well, stupid her. She hadn't lowered her chakra signal. _

_Sakura's normally full lips tightened into a thin, grim line. She opened the door hesitantly, and faced a man she hadn't seen in two months… He was writing lazily on a scroll, piles of papers stacked neatly around him. Violets shining in a little vase at the head of his desk caught her eye… He'd never really liked flowers... Her feet moved before her heart wanted to. Walking further into a room she was normally so familiar with, she kept the door open behind her—easy way out. She stopped a good ten feet before his desk. _

_She waited. If there was one thing she wouldn't let him best her in, it was patience. _

_Cold blue eyes flicked towards her. Try as she might, she couldn't hold the animosity smoldering in his gaze. (Blue was harder than black?) She found refuge in the view the window gave behind him, right next to his left ear. It was sunny. _

_He finally spoke. "The elders have approved of my mission to Oto."_

_Sakura stared at the windowpane as if her life depended on it. When she did manage to speak, she said stiffly, "Against the advice of Shikamaru…and me."_

"_Yeah," was his response, as if it was the most obvious fact in the world._

_She couldn't fake reticence any longer. After all, she had so much to say to him—_

"_You do realize that it's a trap, Naruto—"_

"_That's Hokage-sama, to you," he cut in softly. She kept on staring out the window. Even if she wanted to have responded, she couldn't. Her words were caught in her throat._

You immature, hopeless, idiot…

"_And, Haruno, I think I made it quite clear two months ago that any advice you believe to be consequential, isn't, when I fired you from your advisory position."_

You idiot…

"_I'm honored to know that Hokage-sama has kept track of how long it has been since then." If she weren't so frustrated, she would've grinned. Out of malice? Nostalgia? Who knows… At that moment, she certainly didn't. _

_Naruto glared at her. But Sakura wasn't finished. _

"_So, Hokage-sama, if you believe my opinion irrelevant, I wonder why you took the effort to inform me in person about this decision of yours."_

"_To clarify that you'll not be the head medic-nin on the mission." _

"_I assumed as such." She had enough strength to look at him now. As much as she tried to quell her irrational, puerile anger, it was stiffening the blood soaring through her veins…a much-needed exoskeleton… _

_He looked well. There was no sign of stress or fatigue physically evident on his face. That itself was a thumbed-nose at her. She'd barely had a good nights' rest since their split, and she was more than aware that the effects were visible on her own face. _

_Her gaze was level. But she needed to leave. "Is there anything else? Hokage-sama."_

_She should've run when he grinned. His lips curved, but it didn't reach his eyes. They stayed cold. _

"_N-Naruto-k-kun?..." Sakura had sensed the Hyuuga heiress at the bottom of the steps, but had thought nothing of it. Should she start counting the number of stupid mistakes she could make in a day? _

_Hinata hesitated at the doorway, noticing who was in the room with Naruto. Naruto stretched out his hand to the beautiful kunoichi (much, much, much more beautiful than her, Sakura knew) and smiled reassuringly. "It's all right, Hinata-chan. She was just about to leave." _

_Hinata breezed past Sakura to take his hand. The diamond glittering on the fourth finger of her left hand winked at Sakura—and she didn't want to ascertain in what way. Hinata turned to Sakura and offered a shy, bashful greeting. Sakura swallowed painfully, but managed to smile and return it as kindly as she could. Hinata hadn't done anything to her, after all. There was no reason for her to extend her anger. _

_But she couldn't look at him anymore. She wanted to puke…_

_Naruto…_

_So this was the reason you never came back to your room all this time. You were crashing at the Hyuuga compound. _

_She focused on the kinder glimmer of the Shodaime and Tsunade-shishou's necklace hanging from his neck. Her eyes widened as she realized… _

His dream…doesn't include me.

_She found her voice stronger than she felt. "It was good seeing you again, Hinata-san. Take care." She turned and walked towards the door quickly, grabbing onto the doorknob for support, any support. She paused for a moment. _What is this feeling? Foreboding…ominous? _Sakura gripped the handle tighter. _Assure yourself as little regret as possible…_ With her back still turned, she said softly, "Be careful, Naruto."_

_She made her way back to the hospital, blindly, mindlessly navigating through suddenly unrecognizable streets. She didn't feel her steps or the sun or the gentle breeze stroking her face in sympathy. She couldn't see. _Not here. I'm not going to cry here._ Her steps got stronger. She eventually ran to the hospital's doors. And was met by chaos. Nurses and medics were running around frantically, adjusting to the onslaught of new patients being wheeled in on stretchers or on the backs of their tired teammates. A nurse saw Sakura and shouted, "Iwa attack! They've officially declared war on us!" _

_She'll have to cry later. _

"_Sakura-sama! You're needed in the emergency wing!" cried a nurse. "Where have you been all this time?" Sakura stared at her in muted horror. Comprehension seemed to dawn on her face, and she said slowly, "I've been…wasting my time." The nurse, her apron covered in blood, looked at Sakura with concern. "Sakura-sama? Are you alright?"_

"_I'm fine," Sakura said in a rush, snapping herself back to the present. She left the nurse standing there, confused, as she ran to the emergency unit. _

"_Sakura-sama!" She stopped in her tracks and turned—_

"Sakura!"

Sakura started and looked at Kakashi in, at first, bewilderment, then exasperation…as well as a touch of gratefulness for breaking her from an extremely unpleasant flashback. 

"What is it?" she asked. Focusing on the obstacles immediately ahead, she eased into a gymnastic twist from a hefty branch to avoid a multitude of pesky smaller ones. She landed on an even larger branch and stood, waiting for Kakashi to catch up. He flashed beside her.

"We're almost home."

Sakura nodded and said, "Pretty obvious, no?" For further emphasis, she patted the trunk of the tree she was leaning against. These huge trees could only be found near Konoha, courtesy of the Shodaime.

Crossing her arms against her chest, she leveled a perceptive stare at Kakashi's innocent grin and pat on her head. "What is it really, Kakashi?"

Kakashi sighed, "My armor needs fixing again."

Sakura obliged, but only after letting out a small breath and wondering whether or not immaturity contributed in any way to Kakashi's relative longevity. She gave a buckle a firm tug. She then noticed that Kakashi had also used this break to reread a favorite passage in Icha Icha Paradise. She had no choice but to conclude that immaturity was indeed probably the only thing keeping Kakashi alive.

OOO

It was nightfall when they reached Konoha's open gates. Izumo and Kotetsu raised hands in greeting but said nothing—Kakashi and Sakura both looked hurried and harried. The streets were also peacefully quiet, devoid of people except for regular chuunin patrols. Sakura looked around and asked, "What time is it?" in a hushed voice. Kakashi guessed, "Early, early morning." He looked at the sky; the moon was waning. "Better add another early to that," he added.

He suddenly flashed in front of Sakura, effectively cutting short her rushed pace. Sakura gave an exasperated groan, asking tiredly, "What now?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Kakashi said, his single visible eye crinkling in amusement. "Which are you going to do first? Grave or jutsu?" he clarified, once he saw Sakura's eye twitch and her right fist clench ominously. Shinobi Informal Rule #1: Never mess with Haruno Sakura in the early morning. (The rest of the day depends on who you are and what you say.)

Sakura's forehead creased in deliberation. She looked at Kakashi solemnly and said ultimately, "We'll split. Meet me in Shikamaru's office right after." In a whirl of sakura petals, she faded from sight.

Kakashi shook his head in defeat, but began running for the cemetery, all the while thinking, "Why do I have to get the dirty job?"

OOO

Sakura arrived at the base of her apartment, more out of breath than she'd like. She'd used up all the chakra she drained from the twenty-five Kumo jounin to quicken the journey to Suna and back from a usual week to just three days. Kakashi had also needed about forty-five percent of the chakra she had drained to stay in pace with her; she'd transferred the energy through ten tenketsu points on the torso that Neji had painstakingly taught her. Although her own chakra stamina was untouched and her muscles in good shape thanks to constant rejuvenation, her head ached and she was severely dehydrated. Apparently, she fared better with the sudden addition of superfluous amounts of chakra rather than a sudden loss of the same.

She leaned her forehead against the cool wood panel of her door and shut her eyes. _ I can do this._

She pulled her fingers into an ox seal to unlock her door and pushed her way into darkness. With a still dirt-covered finger, she flicked on her light. Electricity sparked on after a few heartless putters. Sakura stared at her ceiling light for a few moments before making her way to the door separating Naruto's apartment from hers. She opened it tentatively and peeked into the dark room before opening the door wider; she'd never come into Naruto's empty room at night before.

Sakura quickly walked to Naruto's closet. The door's hinges creaked in greeting as she opened it. Her hand reached out and swiftly dug through random articles until it came to a cloth bag she had hidden there three years ago. She'd rationalized then that since the jutsu was originally Naruto's, his room should be the one to house it. In truth, she just couldn't stand the scroll being in her own closet.

Being shut away for so long had thankfully kept the bag relatively dust-free even though she didn't regularly clean the closet. Bag hanging loose from one hand, Sakura walked rapidly to the safety of her own room. She shut the door behind her a little harder than she'd intended, and the resulting loud 'snap' made her jump and turn around in alarm. She placed a hand over her heart and forced herself to take a few deep breaths. Walking backwards towards her couch, she sank into it slowly and held the scroll loosely in her hands for a few moments. She stared at it… eyes empty, although the churnings of her heart begged to differ…

With a quick flick, her fingernail broke the seal she had shut the scroll with three years ago. Sakura smiled softly in nostalgia: she had been sniveling while she'd sealed the scroll, wiping her nose with her sleeve but doing nothing to dam the waterworks flowing down her cheeks. Sakura shook her head. It was one of the oddest things of life, to look back on who you were and suddenly find that person immature, foolish…unrecognizable.

She spread the scroll out onto her coffee table and studied it carefully. She remembered the jutsu now. In hindsight, she realized that she never really forgot it.

Tiger, Horse, Rooster, Ox, Snake, Rat. She kept her hands in the last seal and her face screwed in concentration. Now the problem was remembering the hidden tenketsu point in her cortex—the key to the jutsu, for it was a point that was basically a crossway between the four lobes of the cerebrum. The separate functions of the frontal, parietal, occipital, and temporal lobe combined in harmony at this one discreet chakra point…

Ah! She finally located it. With a hesitant hand, shaking only slightly, she opened it with another set of hand seals. Nothing could have prepared her, as she was nearly blown away by the amount of pain—physical and emotional—that came barreling her way. She remotely felt her shaking knees fall in on her as Sakura shut the door immediately. Already soaked in sweat from the vicarious agony, she opened her eyes. As she slowly became in tune with her physical body, she tried to steady her gasping, trembling form, realizing that she was staring at her ceiling because she'd fallen off her couch in pain. Sitting up heavily, she pulled her shaking form back onto her davenport, leaning back into the cushions to help facilitate her struggle to breathe. Once her breathing steadied and her body forgot about the pain it was just recently subjected to, she sat up a little straighter.

_But… _

She looked at the jutsu scroll spread out before her and with her eyes traced the ink spots he'd so carelessly saturated the rice paper with… A shaking hand reached out…

_His door is open… His door is still __**there**__…_

_How is this possible? _

_And what the hell could it mean? _

OOO

Kakashi grunted in effort as he lifted the coffin a little more from its hole. His doton ninjutsu had unearthed the grave, but in fear of damaging the body and/or coffin, he'd only cleared away soil from the surface to the lid. Finally, with the coffin laid out before him, he clapped the excess dirt away from his hands and took a deep breath. He wedged his fingers in between the lid and the base, and pried the two apart with all his strength, before realizing they were sealed shut with some hardened resin.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes… Konoha funerary practices usually did not require sealing together the coffin parts… He unsheathed one of his katanas and heated it with a small katon ninjutsu. The metal easily maneuvered its way between the mahogany parts. Kakashi sheathed his sword and lifted the lid cautiously, preparing himself for the horrible smell and disfigured aesthetic of a decomposed body. He moved the lid off completely and stared at the face frozen in death before him.

He should've prepared himself for more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The muscles of Sakura's arms were still shaking slightly by the time she reached the window of the Hokage office. Her right foot had even slipped a little on her way up, her control of chakra momentarily disabled by a particularly bad tremor through her calf. She'd made it though, barely, after a scramble for support that had her arms waving wildly in a windmill until her hands latched onto the building's green stonewall with a slap of chakra. Literally climbing up to the open window, instead of strolling upwards, she pulled herself into Shikamaru's office with a grunt that bespoke of an unusual amount of effort for her. As her eyes adjusted to the dimmed light of the room, a decidedly dirtier Kakashi and a phenomenally pissed-off looking Shikamaru were the welcoming sights that greeted her entrance.

"So," Kakashi began delicately, looking her over and taking in her grey pallor and colorless lips. "I'm assuming you don't have good news, either," he finished a tad more dryly. It took all of her energy to manage a small nod as she swung her legs up and over. As soon as both feet had hit the ground she asked, "Did you brief Shikamaru on our results with Suna?"

Kakashi nodded in affirmation, while Shikamaru recited nonchalantly for her, "So, Oto's threat to Suna, the sent hair being genetically Naruto's, Gaara's ultimatum… Am I missing anything?" Sakura shook her head as she let out a breath that was less than a sigh but too weighted to be normal. She was suddenly so tired, as if all the bones in her body were brittle and the weight of her flesh was complicating this weakness even further. Her chest felt hollow…empty… The journey to Shikamaru's desk becoming increasingly impossible, however much she played with the idea, she resorted to simply collapsing on the windowsill. Once settled, she studied Shikamaru for a moment before speculating, "You look like you've got some bad news, too."

Shikamaru's lips were set in a thin line as his left hand subconsciously flicked his lighter on and off. Kakashi glanced at the conspicuously aggravated Hokage and sunk his hands deeper into his pockets. Even simply holding his trusty Icha Icha helped reprieve the tension he felt from the younger man, whose eyes were narrowed and clearly focused on some distant, upsetting thought.

"You go first," Shikamaru said finally, gesturing to Sakura. "The worst news should always be last," he added. Sakura narrowed her eyes in alarm but began describing her findings—there wasn't any time to lose.

"Naruto is, now, most certainly alive," she said quietly, keeping from glancing pointedly at Kakashi. "When Naruto and I fought before he died," she continued, "and I tried to contact him through our jutsu then, there was no response from his side because he had only closed his door, not because he'd relinquished the jutsu altogether as he'd said he did. I'm assuming he'd kept the jutsu all the way until his supposed death. But as to why the door is open now…" Sakura paused, not really knowing how to finish that sentence.

Confused, Shikamaru asked, "Jutsu?"

"Telepathy," Kakashi informed him blithely. Shikamaru's eyebrows rose. Glancing at the still thoughtful Sakura, Kakashi shook his head slightly, silently informing Shikamaru, 'Later.' However much still curious, the Hokage acquiesced.

Sakura started slowly, "I tried to contact him right before I got here… But it's as if he doesn't know the door is open or even there... There's no rational, coherent sentence or thought coming through… No response or acknowledgement to my calls." She couldn't help but shudder from the memory of, "Pain. There was only raw, raw pain pouring in from his side." She clenched her fists experimentally, her eyes wide and staring.

"How do you know this jutsu is only between you and Naruto?" Shikamaru asked.

"We created it," Sakura answered simply. She smiled softly, remembering the eager blonde's words, and added quietly, "Patent-pending." Shikamaru was aware that his own face gave away his recognition of that faraway expression clinging to the usual iciness of her face but, as usual, said nothing. Sakura read him quickly, "And we didn't tell anyone about it," she hurriedly finished. This time, Shikamaru gave a small nod, maybe simply to accept the return of her usually stoic demeanor. Nostalgia came and went with her.

Sakura suddenly frowned. "The damage," she said slowly. "His hair showed signs of extreme stress…" It didn't take much longer for her to shut her eyes tightly, angrily. "Sasuke," she muttered, hurriedly swallowing back a snarl.

Kakashi sighed. Whenever anyone spoke the name of his former student, it was usually in that exact tone of voice.

Sakura opened her eyes. Her jaw was now clenched tight. If anger could have brought color to her cheeks, it would have made her appear more alive. But since that anger was combined with revulsion, the end result made Sakura look sicker than Kakashi thought was currently possible.

"Sasuke," Sakura managed. "He must be messing with Naruto's head. At the very least."

Shikamaru rubbed his forehead, while Kakashi shifted uncomfortably. Torture was torture. He'd guessed as much when she'd mentioned the condition of the hairs in Suna, yet he was surprised the thought of her former love torturing her current love hadn't occurred to her until now. Bias, possibly?

"It's the only possible explanation for Naruto's door to have been opened against his will. It's also the only thing I can think of when trying to understand how the door is being used right now…" Sakura began talking faster while the volume of her voice shrank considerably. "Naruto probably has no current awareness of the door's existence or at least how to use it. Sasuke probably doesn't either and opened it by accident." Sakura grimaced, "The only hope we have now in reestablishing Naruto's proper neuron functions is reliance on Sasuke's chakra control. The damage might not be irreversible if Sasuke's chakra was controlled and not erratic enough to harm auxiliary nerves."

Shikamaru had been listening quietly throughout Sakura's report, but he now asked, "Do you have any theories yet of how he got a hold of Naruto?"

Sakura thought for a moment before giving him a slightly sad look and saying simply, "We were infiltrated. Someone in our deepest ranks is allied with Oto. Or at least," she paused, squinting unexpectedly as a sharp pain blossomed in between her brows. Her head hurt like hell. "At least," she pushed on, "Bribed or threatened."

Shikamaru's face had seemed to solidify into a grim mask of memory, "So, Naruto's body must have been switched while Sakura was fighting Sasuke… When he'd fallen over the cliff." Sakura's insides churned unpleasantly, an old routine. Despite recent revelations, she would never be okay with the memory of Naruto tumbling over that precipice. And that brief glimpse of all the blood that pooled around his crushed body as he lay so still in the gorge… No. She couldn't ever be okay with that. But… Wounds…

"Kyuubi," Sakura whispered suddenly. "Naruto said that Sasuke was able to control the Kyuubi's chakra with his Sharingan. If that's the case, Sasuke could control the Kyuubi's healing effects on Naruto… Sasuke could injure him in whatever ways he pleases…and keep him injured," she muttered tightly, forehead drawn in thought. Shikamaru and Kakashi exchanged glances. By now, both had realized she was speaking more to herself than to them.

"But what I still don't understand," Kakashi mused next, "is why Sasuke kept Naruto alive. If he wanted to extract the Kyuubi, Naruto would be dead. If he wanted to use Naruto to use Kyuubi, Konoha should've been attacked, and possibly destroyed, by now. Are we just supposed to believe he just wants his old friend back?"

"By pretending to kill him and kidnapping him?" Shikamaru scoffed. "I wouldn't be surprised."

"Of course. Our reunions are usually something like that," Sakura said mildly with a wry smile.

Kakashi grabbed a chair from the wall and dragged it closer to the window, sitting on it heavily. "So _why_?" he asked, his voice just as heavy. "What is he planning?"

Sakura kept staring at her hands and Shikamaru rolled his stiff neck—neither genius had any idea of how to predict or interpret the ravings of a madman, even if they did happen to have gone to the same elementary school with him. So Kakashi gave up, running a hand over his hair in frustration. He hadn't a clue either. Though… His single eye studied the two younger shinobi in front of him. Maybe all three of them just didn't want to know.

"So, what's your bad news?" Kakashi asked Shikamaru, shifting in his seat to help jar himself into breaking the silence. The clearly exasperated Hokage shook his head at Kakashi, "As I said before, worst news last."

Kakashi frowned, "Well, isn't my news obvious?" he said, gesturing to Sakura.

"For all we know, the hair Gaara received could be some product of a regeneration jutsu and artistic license on stray hairs of Naruto's that Sasuke happened upon. And since you," he glanced at Sakura, "are positive that he's alive, Sasuke could have used a mind-transfer jutsu. He did study under Orochimaru, unless you've forgotten that unimportant fact," Shikamaru said pointedly to Kakashi, though a little bit after he turned to Sakura completely, "Just to double-check. Is that possible?"

Sakura nodded, "Our jutsu was completely mental. There was nothing physically bonding about it. A mind-transfer jutsu would have carried our jutsu with it."

Kakashi nodded and straightened from his slouch in the chair. He gave one of his trademark sighs before saying grimly, "The body wasn't his. The corpse was…" He cleared his throat, as he didn't really know how to mitigate the oddness of what was to come. "The corpse was… female."

Sakura and Shikamaru simply stared. The silence became oppressive as neither Sakura nor Shikamaru knew whether to laugh or cry, or, at this point, even how to do both. But soon, Sakura admitted quietly, "I knew it." Both men gave her a look, clearly wanting her to elaborate, and she didn't need to look to know what those looks looked like. "I always knew there was something wrong with the way Naruto's funeral had been arranged and seen through—," she explained tensely, looking down at her hands again, reluctant to continue. Kakashi frowned, a distant altercation creeping to the forefront of his thoughts. His hands suddenly found each other, clutching the other tightly to prevent themselves from rubbing his neck. He fervently avoided looking at either, hoping both were too preoccupied with their own thoughts to notice him, as he was suddenly remembering how he'd chastised Sakura when she'd woken up from her coma and kept demanding to see Naruto's body. His hands shook a little as he clearly recalled what he hadn't wanted to in a long time. He'd asked her, _"So, what, you want everyone to go through another funeral of his?" He tried to keep the anger out of his voice... It'd been a tough week… _

_It hurt. Everything hurt. _

_He was used to death. He was supposed to be used to it._

_But maybe it was just Naruto. Maybe it wasn't him—Kakashi—who was at fault here… At fault for spending nights sitting up in bed, staring at the wall in front of him… _

"_No!" she cried indignantly, her eyes becoming moist. Was he wrong for not being surprised? She wiped stray tears away angrily and ripped out her IV drip in frustration. Her small frame simply helped her look just like a kid having a tantrum. _

"_Something is wrong!" she tried again, loose pink strands clinging to the sides of her cheeks. "I can't explain how, but I just know something's not right!" Her wide eyes tore into Kakashi's, imploring him, begging him. "Please!" she whispered. "Trust me!" _

_But he'd had enough. He stood, not-too-gently removing Sakura's vice-like grip from his wrist. _

"_You've been out for a while. You're just disoriented. Or, you just want to see him again. And that's understandable. But demanding to dig him up is just sick." With that said, he walked away from shocked beryl eyes, frozen with tears, and made his way to the door. He looked back once, and turned away abruptly from the tiny, frail, thin figure slumped in defeat and loss in that sad hospital bed. _

"_Sakura. The dead should stay buried." He shut the door behind him with a final 'click'._

_He didn't see Sakura again for the next two years._

Kakashi's eye rose, slowly from fear, to the figure slumped on the windowsill. Haggardly, he took in her still thin frame, limp hair, and strained expression. She was staring at her hands, a frown playing tricks on her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth.

Maybe…

_Her eyes rose for his—you could see her entire world in them… _

Maybe, just maybe, if he'd been less of who he let himself become and more of who he should've been, things wouldn't have gotten here, to this point… Maybe he wouldn't feel like this.

Sakura was turning her head to speak to Shikamaru, early dawn skylight turning her pale skin rose-gold.

Kakashi closed his eye as his head bowed from the weight of his memories.

Nudging Shikamaru's shoulder with a boot, Sakura demanded, "Your news." By now, she had very little patience left and was slightly afraid she'd drift off into sleep. The involuntary long blinks of her lids were proof of that. Shikamaru relented and said lightly, "The elders are declaring an invasion on Oto."

The resulting silence had Sakura wishing she'd been patient for just a little longer.

After a moment, Kakashi noted lightly, "That is the worst out of all of us."

"They're withholding an open declaration of war, though," Shikamaru added. Sakura gave him a look that clearly said, 'As much as you'd like it to, that doesn't help one bit.' She let out a long breath, at the end of which she demanded, "For what reason? And why not invade Iwa and Kumo as well? They know we have the resources to siege all three at once."

Shikamaru sat up straighter in his chair, stretching a little, before placing his lighter firmly on his desk. He folded his now free hands under his chin. "Somehow, they found out about Naruto and Sasuke." Sakura felt her guts clench rather unpleasantly. She closed her eyes momentarily to steady herself. However sick she felt now, at least she wasn't sleepy anymore.

"How?" Kakashi demanded for them both.

"They wouldn't say," Shikamaru stated. His eyes narrowed, "But I'm beginning to support cutting off all communications with them. I don't trust them."

"Well," Sakura finally managed to say, "cutting off communications with them would also mean that you couldn't watch them as easily." She opened one of her eyes to look at Shikamaru wryly as he turned to her. He gave a relenting sigh, "So… Lie and spy?"

The corner of Sakura's lip curled a tad, "Honesty to the Elders isn't a sworn-in duty of the Hokage. And you cutting off communications with them doesn't strike them powerless. They found out about Naruto and Sasuke fast, on their own, without you knowing until last minute. Isolating them doesn't affect their authority, either; it just makes them hold onto it that much more. But all the same, I'm with you on not trusting them. Their recent track record of decision-making isn't putting them in such a great light." She stared at her still dirty hands.

_They let him go… _

…_when I couldn't. _

While her attention was elsewhere, Shikamaru took the moment to appraise her solemn profile before exhaling softly and scoffing lightly, "Troublesome."

"Yeah, well," Kakashi cut in dejectedly, "A lot of things are in this line of work." He rolled his shoulder, testing out the cramp there that usually flared up when he was not very happy. He continued to ask, "When do they expect to send out troops? And how many?" Shikamaru sighed and drew out a single sheet of paper from the topmost drawer of his desk. He began reading off of it, "Three troops of ten ANBU, twenty jounin and three med-nins each… Hatake Kakashi is leading Battalion One, Hyuuga Neji will be leading Battalion Two, and Haruno Sakura will be leading Battalion Three. Jounins with genin teams will be staying behind, so Ten Ten and Chouji aren't coming with us. And Kiba and Hinata are staying behind for their own reasons." He scanned the paper again before slapping it down on his desk, "You're leaving in a week to retrieve Konoha's only Jinchuuriki." Kakashi cursed lightly under his breath. Sakura remained quiet, and her face pensive.

"It's not only, 'How many?'" she said after a moment, "But how?" She looked up in confusion at Shikamaru. "Maintaining defense is now an entrenched part of our shinobi code. How do they expect to explain this sudden change in strategy?" She swallowed hard.

_How are they going to rationalize asking so many of our ninjas to walk into an assuredly painful death for no good reason?_

Shikamaru sighed. "They were one step ahead of you, Sakura." He swiveled his chair to look back at her. "They made the reason public: to reclaim our lost Hokage, who is still, thankfully, alive."

Sakura's lips parted slightly as words failed her. Kakashi though, who'd been around longer to see how ornery the Elders could be, wasn't that surprised.

Shikamaru reclaimed his lighter and spun in between his fingers. "A lot of jounin, chuunin, and even genin, are actually requesting to go." At this, Sakura suddenly squinted and swallowed hard to tamp down the pressure that suddenly surfaced in her throat and threatened to drag her under. She looked away, quickly turning her head to hide in the backdrop of Konoha, which was offered so generously by the window she was occupying. It was then that she realized how many unpleasant situations this particular window had given her refuge from…

"How many of our shinobi will be left to protect the village?" she asked, face still turned away from the two shinobi she was with. She was intent on keeping the vow she made three years ago to not let either of them, or anyone in Konoha for that matter, see her cry again.

Never again.

Shikamaru ruffled through a few sheets of paper before reading off, "Two hundred and eight jounin and chuunin… Adding my ANBU squad will make it two hundred forty-eight." He turned his chair to look back at Sakura, "Don't worry, Konoha will be guarded well." As reassuring as he was trying to sound, Shikamaru knew that at that precise moment, everyone in that little room was remembering the ease with which Oto, Suna, and the Akatsuki had infiltrated their village in the past. However quick Konoha's reaction time had been then, and however much they'd improved their border system since, defense was still a major concern for Konoha's governmental elite.

Kakashi pulled a hand now through his mop of relatively dirty silver hair, asking, "Is that all?"

Back turned to Sakura, Shikamaru surreptitiously shook a cigarette out from a pack that had been lying hidden under a pile of papers. He let it dangle from his mouth, but refrained from lighting it, although this meant he was restraining his twitching fingers with all his might. He sighed, "Yeah, but it's sure as hell more than enough. Report at 10 AM." He stared at the invasion declaration on his desk. "We have to prepare," he mumbled dryly.

At that, in one swift movement, the chain-smoking Hokage lit his cigarette and took a drag before realizing that he hadn't checked to confirm Sakura's absence. He winced and waited for a senbon attack. When it didn't arrive, he tentatively peeked behind his chair to behold an empty windowsill. He let out a breath. Turning back to Kakashi, the two shared a wordless glance before each returned to focusing on their own problems. He hadn't noticed the absence of her chakra signature.

It was Kakashi's turn to sigh, "I'll take care of this." Shikamaru didn't respond. A puff of grey smoke, the same shade as his hair, was his farewell. Shikamaru gave his back muscles an experimental stretch. Groaning, he took another drag before turning to the piles of papers on his desk. Bloodshed did always mean a lot more paperwork.

OOO

Sakura had planned on sleeping right after meeting with Shikamaru, but as tired as she was, she was afraid of the dreams she knew would occur if she gave in and closed her eyes. So instead she sat on her shishou's head, a tiny glimmer of pink highlighting the impressive expanse of the Hokage Monument. The wind was more thorough up here, not impeded by buildings or trees… It danced in joy around her, sending her hair every which way. She ignored flailing pink strands, and stared at the sun rising over Konoha's horizon. Her figure was still as stone. It was only a little bit later when her eyes began to empty…

_He stared at her in shock, blue eyes widening before slightly narrowing in anger. "You met him and didn't even try to bring him back?" His voice was going through the same transition. His face followed suit. "You did nothing?"_

_Sakura looked up from her efforts to rub out a dirt stain from the white coat she was wearing over her jounin uniform. She took in Naruto's visible frustration grimly and said as gently as she could, "It wasn't worth it. I wanted to come home as soon as possible instead of wasting energy on someone who'd rather kill me than give a simple greeting." Her voice trailed off as she saw a vein throbbing in Naruto's temple. Was he that upset?_

_She sighed, "I just told him that the only person who could stop him, is himself. And then I left. No problems, no trouble." She looked at her boots, remembering. _How could someone so brilliant, be so stupid? _Sasuke's cold, cold eyes had just stared at her, sizing her up, not bothering to recognize her as someone from his past. She, more than anyone possibly, was aware of his icy personality… But his eyes… Had they always been that cold?_

No_, she finally decided. _He wasn't like that before._ She glanced at Naruto_. Not with him.

_Naruto let out a breath in frustration, breaking Sakura from her thoughts, and balled his hands into fists on his desk. Her mission report crumbled in his hand. "You just…" he began shakily, but he bit his lip to keep in the rest. Sakura rubbed the diamonds on her forehead in exhaustion and worry. "Naruto," she began, "I told you before that I…" She didn't know how to make the following words not seem selfish and inconsiderate… "I told you before that I didn't want you to…_('keep' was the wrong word)_ feel obliged to that promise any longer. I was upset when I asked you to bring him back. And more importantly, I was twelve. I never wanted you to take that request and make it this burden on your shoulders for the rest of your life. Twelve or not, I never would've wanted that." _

_He didn't seem to have acknowledged her words. He sat stiffly, staring at a space a little bit in front of her feet. Her shoulders slumped in exhaustion, but she moved to him, kneeling next to his chair, slightly wincing at the protest from her sore calf muscles, which had been healed only recently from being slashed open by a kunai trap she'd only just managed to avoid. _

_She looked up at his stony profile with tired eyes, studying his now rigid expression and darkening whiskers solemnly. She said quietly, "I honestly did think of fighting him… to bring him back to you… for you." Her eyebrows drew together. "But you and I both know what he's become, how he's changed," she said firmly. "And you and I both know, that bringing him back wouldn't make anything better." _

_He wouldn't look at her. He remained glaring at his desk, his hands still in fists. She reached out to one hand. It stiffened, then moved out of her reach. Rejected, she placed her own hand back in her lap. "Naruto." He kept on staring at his desk. "I'm sorr—" _

"_I'll see you later," his deep voice cut through her. Had she avoided that kunai trap for nothing? He glanced once at her wide green eyes and returned to glaring at his desk. "I have a lot of work to be getting to." Sakura stood, saying lightly, "Of course. If you need any help, just ask." She thought she saw Naruto stiffen as she was turning to walk to the door, but she made nothing of it: she was eager to part from him, to have the chance to cool down and not let anger affect her better judgment, and give him the same opportunity. Her hand was on the knob when his low voice demanded quietly, "Why would I need your help?" _

_Sakura turned to face him slowly. She knew he was angry, and rightfully so, but… wasn't he taking things a little too far? She willed herself to calm her own rising anger: he was upset and her reaction was merely defensive… Still, she wasn't going to make it easier for him to take out his insecurities on her. _

"_It's just common courtesy," she stated, trying hard to keep frustration out of her own voice. "I wasn't assuming anything about your competency, if that's what this is really about." He'd been doing this for the past month now, griping at her about how she viewed him, when nothing of what he was accusing her of was true. She didn't worship Naruto, but her calling him a 'baka' was for old time's sake, and not meant to be taken as truth. She respected and admired him so very much. Had he forgotten this fact? Was he _that_ worried over news of Oto's newly instated Onkyoukage? _

_Naruto just stared at her, his jaw line tense from holding words in. Alarm started encroaching the borders of her heart, and she turned from the door to look at him fully. _

Just say them. Say what you want to say to me, _she willed to him mentally. _

_Her eyes widened in shock as she slowly grasped the truth. _

_His door… _

_Was shut… _

Kakashi loomed over the slightly collapsed figure on Tsunade-sama's rocky head. Sighing, he scooped her up with ease and began the trek over Konoha's roofs to her apartment. He managed one glance at her wan face before concentrating on the task at hand: getting her to her bed, and getting himself to his. He stifled a yawn and increased his pace.

Her living room window opened with a quick Boar hand seal. Climbing through with Sakura securely tucked in his arms, he made his way to her bedroom and set her down gently on her bed. He methodically took off her boots and jounin vest, and proceeded to smooth the blankets snugly around her. He frowned. She wasn't eating enough. He straightened, looking at her thin face, and bent down again to move a few stray pink strands from her forehead, his gloved hand lingering a little longer than the task was done. He studied her for a moment more before rummaging around in his hip pack for an object he knew was hers. After placing it gently on her bed stand, he made his way back to her living room. Crouching on the thin wood plank of her windowsill he held his face towards the tendrils of pink, red, and yellow trailing through the sky. Kakashi knew that most people should dwell in sleep with a peaceful expression on their face. Kakashi spared one glance at the closed bedroom door before leaping out towards his own apartment.

Sakura's face was proof that all she dwelled in were nightmares.

OOO

"…_Sasuke causes Naruto pain… But I think you do, too…" _

Sakura sat up with a start, Sai's solemn, still voice still ringing in her ears. In her entire life so far, no single day—other than the days Sasuke defected from Konoha and Naruto had "died"—still resonates with as much heartache as the day Akatsuki had attacked Konoha. She hadn't cried so much within a 24-hour time span as she did then, trying to handle successive onslaughts of Pain's Shinra Tensei, Naruto's fight, Tsunade's deterioration, the confrontation of the Kumo nins, especially Karui, and of Sai's. She had never been forced to reevaluate herself with as much intensity as was demanded on that day. She had never before even bothered to ask herself, 'Am I a good person?'

_No. I'm not. _

Sakura rubbed her eyes, trying to wring out sleep. She moved to adjust her alarm clock's face towards her, but was instead greeted by the sight of a dirt-covered, but still pristine, lotus. Her pale, small hand gently picked up the flower by the stalk. She recognized it as the stalk she'd placed on Naruto's grave a couple of days before…

Lightly touching the petals with her other hand, she smiled._ That old geezer._

She replaced the flower onto her nightstand and glanced at her clock. 8:37. She'd only gotten about two hours of sleep, but it'll last her for at least today.

Sakura swung out of bed and stared forlornly at her impossibly dirty sheets. She really didn't need to do laundry for another week and these were her only set of blankets. Sighing, she made her way to the bathroom, intent on washing away days of grime and sand. She'd only just gotten out of the shower when a light knocking interrupted her morning. Secure in a towel, she cautiously made her way to the door, as the chakra signature behind it was being hidden from recognition. Chakra visibly rippled across her right hand as her fingers balled into a fist. With her left hand, she opened her door slightly, and was greeted by the cool gaze of Hyuuga Neji. The chakra swirling around her right hand dispelled and Sakura opened the door a tad bit more, inviting the ANBU captain in. As she made her way to her bedroom to make herself more presentable, the Byakugan wielder took a seat on her couch.

"What brings you here so early?" Sakura called from her bedroom.

"Questions that I don't have time to ask you after the meeting," Neji stated.

Sakura tightened the strap of her heel, "What questions?"

"About Naruto."

Sakura's hands paused in its motions of tying her black obi sash around her waist.

Neji stood when she walked out of her bedroom door in her usual hospital attire: spotless white coat, red qipao dress embroidered on its front tail with the Haruno circle, black spandex shorts and heels. Sakura looked at her wall clock as she adjusted her gloves, her loose, waist-length hair shifting with the motion of her head. Nodding to Neji, she said, "I'll answer what I can while we walk to the Tower."

OOO

The cell door slammed open with a creak of its hinges and an earsplitting thud against the concrete walls. The semi-conscious man collapsed on the floor wasn't moving, his shed blood congealing on and around him. Two prison guards didn't bother stepping around the pools of blood as they unshackled the man and hoisted him up with difficulty—both were at least four inches shorter than he was. An imposing figure shadowed the doorway. The bloodied prisoner was dragged across the cell floor, although he still managed to lift his head and squint at the man in front of him, who was casually leaning against the cell wall.

_Bad man…_

"Wha—where—where are you t-t-taking me?" he managed to stutter out between cracked and split lips.

"Out," the man said stonily. He stepped to the side to allow the two guards more space to drag forth the disabled man. He had stepped closer to the torchlight flickering weakly on the wall. However dim and oppressed its flame, it still highlighted his aristocratic features, shading his fine nose, thin lips, high cheekbones, and perfectly-arched eyebrows. His long, heavy, coal-black hair was pulled into a high ponytail, the end of which brushed between his shoulder blades. Stray bangs and shorter layers framed his pale face and his cold, dark eyes. His pristine white haori was tucked into a navy blue hakama, which in turn was tucked into knee high black, armored boots. Two katanas slid home into the ties against his waist. A pale hand, laced with tattoos of black writhing snakes, rested lazily on the hilts of the swords, while a black arm guard protected the other.

"W-w-where?" Bruised and broken, he still wanted answers.

Obsidian-eyes narrowed, before he allowed, "To see some old friends."

The prisoner's head hurt. Black and white spots were clouding the edges of his vision… Friends? What friends? _Laughter…green eyes…tears…_ He groaned with the onslaught of pain that tore at his forehead.

Black eyes coolly observed the prisoner's obvious discomfort. He nodded to the two guards, "You know what to do." Despite their heavy load, they bowed, crying out, "Hai, Onkyoukage-sama!" The corridor echoed with their footsteps long after they disappeared from sight.

Uchiha Sasuke turned the other way, silent footsteps marking the passage back to his office. Torchlight played tricks against his tall figure and with his shadow against passing walls.

His thin lips should have curved into a rarely seen grin, but only the matte sheen of his eyes gave away his amusement.

Things were finally going according to plan.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_His pale eyes widened, distorting the veins threading around their outer corners... She was still generating chakra? He frowned… _Impossible_… Disbelief enveloped his sculpted features. Not since his fight with Naruto during the Chuunin Exams has anyone recovered from his tenketsu attack… In all of their fights before, Sakura had definitely never been able to recover from one… And he was pretty damn sure she wasn't a jinchuuriki… On second thought… He surveyed the colossal damage the petite kunoichi had inflicted upon the training ground… Probably wouldn't hurt to double-check. He surveyed her chakra pathways again… No, the system was all her own, slightly depleted, but still intact and generating energy…_

_They'd spent a little over an hour destroying Training Ground 9. Even with his Byakugan, he was barely able to evade Sakura's skillfully orchestrated genjutsus. She, however, still had trouble countering his Gentle Fist in taijutsu. She had significantly improved in that field, thanks in no small part to his team member, Rock Lee, but still struggled with blocking his destructive blasts of chakra. She and Rock Lee shared the same powerful and anchored style of taijutsu, although Sakura was more fluid and flexible. Although, she wasn't flexible enough, or as fast as Rock Lee, to cope with the capricious movements of the Gentle Fist fighting style for very long. Still, Neji had to admit he met difficulties in fighting Sakura. But this time, he'd managed to trap her long enough to perform his Eight Trigrams Sixty-Four Palms. That is, before he was forced to evade a rigged explosive note she'd placed in the ground earlier. Skidding to a stop from the momentum of his backflip, it was then that his Byakugan alerted him to the unusual fact that Sakura's chakra system still glowed blue (her head blared a bright green from her reserved, already-converted, healing chakra reservoirs). _

_To the naked eye, Sakura was a slumped, coughing figure on the ground, obscured by clouds of dust released into the air by the explosive note. She shifted, trying to steady shaking arms long enough to sit up. Neji was interrupted from his frantic efforts to understand how his technique failed by the fluttering of white silk… Looking down, he finally noticed that his silk tunic was freshly slit across the abdomen. His pale gaze telescoped on the still-slumped figure more than sixty feet in front of him; he now noticed the kunai clenched in her fist. She stabbed it into the earth to try to gage enough support to stand. Neji's attention turned to the charred remains of the explosive note on the ground before her. By evading the explosion, he'd also evaded being gutted. _

_The Hyuuga prodigy's feet slid subconsciously into a defensive stance as the kunoichi stood. He suddenly choked in surprise… He couldn't move his feet. Hurriedly looking down again, he saw chakra, not his own, glowing around his sandals, whirling teasingly in scalpels around his ankles. His Byakugan traced the devilish chakra through its passage in the earth five feet below to… the kunai so discreetly stabbed into the ground, a seal wrapped around its handle. Not four inches away from it, a heeled boot was planted firmly into the ground. _

"_Your call," rasped Sakura plainly. She coughed, wiping away the blood that emerged to edge her lips. Neji contemplated the chakra scalpels circling nearer to his skin, goose bumps rising around his calves in trepidation and the slightly ticklish presence of Sakura's chakra. _

_If he attempted to make his attack—he met dark, shaded green eyes—would she really slice his Achilles tendons into ribbons? _

_She wouldn't… _

_Her dark eyes almost looked black. _

_Why did he feel so nervous? _

_His Byakugan faded. Sakura nodded her thanks; today was Neji's only free day before his mission to Iwagakure and he was gracious enough to spend it training with her. _

_The pair settled under the shade of a tree at the edge of the clearing, facing the wreckage that greeted them: the land was literally in ruins. Neji glanced at the solemn young woman next to him. He surveyed her passively…_

_She was a mess. _

_Her shoulder-length hair had been tied off in a ponytail at the nape of her neck, and was, understandably, extremely dirty from their fight, but lank and lifeless for other reasons. Her jounin flak jacket, pants, and long sleeved shirt were ripped and torn, even dirtier than her hair, and hanging off her frighteningly thin frame like sacks. Sakura's face was grey, expressionless… She was leaning against the trunk of the tree, eyes closed, legs crossed and stretched out in front of her, gloved hands loose in her lap. _

_Beryl eyes opened to meet his. _

"_Yes?" she asked. _

_Neji turned his gaze back to the training grounds. His legs had been stretched out as well, but he brought his right knee up to lightly rest an arm against it. _

"_How'd you do it?" _

_Sakura-san closed her eyes again—Neji didn't need to activate his Byakugan to know that. _

"_I used a genjutsu to distort your sense of time. To everyone but you, you were basically performing your Sixty-Four Palms in slow motion. So, for each tenketsu point, I was able to cover it with an extra amount of chakra before you struck by gauging the direction and momentum of your fingers. You essentially only knocked out balls of chakra covering my tenketsu points." She opened her eyes to the small leaf that had fallen into her palm. "And my chakra system stayed intact." She picked up the leaf carefully by the stem, and spun it between her fingers. _

_Neji didn't respond. It had been rumored that Haruno Sakura, in a short span of time, had become the greatest manipulator of chakra in their world, and that her control extended to chakra's most infinitesimal components. Looking at the quiet and frail kunoichi now, lazily spinning a leaf by its stem, one could hardly believe it. But after what he'd seen… Her actions speak louder than her words. A loose boulder, unearthed from one of Sakura-san's punches, cracked in half suddenly. Both pieces fell into the crater it had been ripped out from with a thunderous crash. _

_Much louder…_

"…_Neji…"_

"_Hai."_

_Silence caused him to turn to look at her. She stared hard into his eyes, before speaking slowly and surely._

"_I need your help." _

And thus, about a year ago, he had contributed to one of the greatest medical ninjutsus in the history of the shinobi world: the creation of a second chakra system within the body. Sakura had previously developed a way to create a vacuum out of her own chakra and suck her opponent's chakra out of his or her body. However, she was forced to manipulate that chakra immediately or let it, in its unconfined and foreign state, disrupt the flow of her own system. So, he helped her overcome that drawback.

Why he did it?

Out of the corner of his eye, Neji coolly observed the kunoichi walking beside him. Her pace was steady, her footfalls silent despite the 3-inch heels guarding her feet. Although she had no color in her cheeks or lips, her skin looked healthier, and her eyes were bright. The market was open, the yells of peddlers and merchants melding into a buzz, frequently accented by the laughter of playing children. Sakura stood out stark from this flow of social activity so unusual during wartime. But, it was provincial, simple, blissfully ignorant chaos moving around her that she seemed to find so relaxing. Neji turned back to the road ahead of him.

He didn't know.

"You had questions?" the med-nin asked, her voice still distinct against the hubbub surrounding them. Neji readjusted his white Hyuuga robes and tightened the loosening sash of his black haori.

"Are the rumors about Naruto being alive, true?"

Sakura blinked. Neji certainly wasn't one for beating around the bush. Still, she felt uncomfortable with responding 'yes' to a question she herself was still struggling with.

"Well," she said quietly, "They aren't rumors." She gave him a small summary of all that had happened since Gaara's letter. Her voice didn't diminish in volume, but it steadily became more solemn…

Neji let out a small breath that, for anyone else, would have been a long sigh. His eyebrows furrowed, "This changes everything… For my family."

Sakura's heart gave an uncharacteristic twinge. Resolving to keep only good memories of Naruto, she'd tried hard to forget much. However, she'd done this with the comfort that those memories wouldn't ever have to be challenged again, not prodded to the forefront of her daily worries as they were now.

"I'm sorry that it does," she said. (When all else fails, detached civility comes in handy). "I hope it doesn't cause too much trouble…" Sakura dug her hands deeper into the pockets of her coat, the white tails flaring out behind her.

Neji shook his head, "Thank you for your concern, but I'm afraid this will cause a lot of trouble."

Sakura said nothing, not wanting to press him for any more information. She didn't want to know anything else…

Neji opened his mouth to speak again. Sakura assumed that as Rock Lee was on a two-month cover mission and Ten Ten was busy with her genin team, Neji hadn't many people to speak to outside of his family. Her medical expertise didn't really include therapy, and she didn't think of herself as being the most sympathetic person, but Neji had helped her enormously before, without any complaint or questions. She owed him not a little of her time.

"My uncle and Kiba have been withholding information from her," he said softly. "They've urged me to do the same, but it hasn't been biding well on my conscience."

Their steps had become synced, Neji's long strides shortening, and Sakura's petite frame extending itself a bit more, so that they'd meet halfway. The Tower was drawing near.

"She only knows that we're launching an invasion on Oto. She doesn't know the reason. In her condition, she hasn't been allowed outside of the compound, and my uncle has made it clear to the rest of our family that she is to know nothing else."

Sakura stuffed her hands deeper into her coat.

"If… When… she finds out…" Neji broke off, a frown etching lines of care and worry into his porcelain skin. He turned to the small kunoichi beside him. She was staring resolutely ahead and her shoulders were tense.

"I suppose, everything I'm saying affects you as well?" he asked quietly.

"As of now," she said quickly, "I'm only concerned with seeing everyone safely through this." Her beryl eyes were shadowed in resolve and—

Neji looked closer as discreetly as he could.

He recognized it. He'd seen that look in his cousin's eyes. But Sakura's was a little different…

It was guilt. What he saw was guilt.

He turned back to the road ahead, saying no more.

'_Are you including yourself too, Sakura?' _

OOO

The view from his window was dull, but he wasn't really looking outside anyway. He was an unforgettable figure against the dark of the room, moonlight reluctantly pressing against the front of his body, escaping into the shadow that stretched behind him.

"What it is?" Sasuke asked, keeping his gaze on the rocky hills and rough trees dotting the landscape before him.

Kabuto, half of his face hidden by a surgical mask, said resolutely, "It's complete."

Sasuke remained still. "Good," he said simply.

"I've repaired the damage you've inflicted on his brain," Kabuto continued. He leveled his gaze at the young man before him. "His memory is back."

No response.

"Are you sure you want to—"

"Yes," Sasuke said curtly.

Kabuto frowned.

"Have you ever considered us merely extracting the bijuu and doing away with all of this trouble? He is still quite aggravating—a fixed part of his personality, I might add. Or we can keep him for more testing. He continues to prove himself as quite an interesting experiment-"

His voice faded away. Sasuke's cold look, without a glare, without the Sharingan, was enough to still his tongue. The silence was uncomfortable, to say the least, but Kabuto had held his own against much greater men. Sure, he'd entertain this childish man's every last whim, if it meant being able to perform his experiments at his own discretion, without ever worrying about funding or resources.

"Are you questioning my authority?"

He'd asked it in a slight, easy, and quiet manner. But Kabuto's eyes flicked to Sasuke's right hand, which rested oh-so-lazily on the hilt of one of his katanas, while the left tattooed hand gripped the sheath lightly.

"No," Kabuto said, with a smile. "Of course not."

Sasuke's eyes followed Kabuto as the older man left the room submissively.

Kabuto paused at the doorway. Sasuke easily caught the small, thin leather wallet thrown at his face.

"He had it in—what was left—of his pant's pocket," said Kabuto, face still turned towards the door to hide the mockery curtaining his face, if he couldn't do anything about it lining his voice. He slid the door shut behind him.

Sasuke waited until Kabuto's chakra signature was good and gone before he peered more closely at the object in his hand. A small wrinkle formed at his nose bridge—the only indication that he noticed how drenched in blood, grime, sweat, and filth the leather had become. He opened it carefully with as few fingers as possible...

He stiffened. The wallet dropped to the floor.

Sasuke's eyes stayed frozen on the two objects the wallet had protected.

…He'd rid his own copy the day he defected from Konoha… He assured himself that it was just the amount of time he hadn't seen the photo that caused the small twinge in his gut….

He and Naruto were glaring at each other… Kakashi and Sakura were smiling…

Naruto's pocket-sized copy of Team 7's photograph was…

Disturbingly familiar…

They all looked so young…

The photo was a small pile of ashes in Sasuke's palm a few seconds later. He tossed them aside, and was about to do the same with the second photograph, but…

…Her eyes.

She gave him a small smile, dirt smudging her features, hair just brushing her shoulders, hand raised in a playful salute… Naruto must have taken this during a training session, as Sai and Kakashi were a dueling blur behind her.

The photograph floated slowly to the ground, joining the wallet, before a booted foot came smashing down on it, in its path to the door.

Sasuke's hands were clenched into tight fists on his sides as he strode down the hallway, murderous intent leaking from every pore in his body.

…

Her eyes were the same shade as the tree leaves behind her, bathed in sunlight.

She was looking at him…

…With love.

OOO

The round table grew silent as Sakura and Neji entered. Sakura moved to take her seat on Shikamaru's right, lightly touching Ino's shoulder along the way, while Neji settled in his place beside her. From Shikamaru's other side, Kakashi gave Sakura a nod. Sai, on the other hand, gave Sakura a small smile, which she returned.

"Now that everyone's here," Shikamaru stated, shuffling a few papers around, "We'll begin."

Sakura placed her elbows on the table, folding her hands and resting her chin on them.

Shikamaru announced lazily, "It has been made clear, through covert methods, that Uchiha Sasuke is holding Uzumaki Naruto captive—"

"How?" demanded Kiba, hand resting lazily on Akamaru's phenomenally gigantic head. "What covert methods?" the gruff ninja demanded.

Shikamaru opened his mouth to begin speaking, but when he realized how much he'd have to explain, he turned to Sakura pleadingly. Her eyes resolutely avoided his gaze, while her face gave a clear sign of, "Your job, your work." Shikamaru grumbled and turned back to his head ninjas, saying firmly, "We will not discuss this in depth here." He held up his hand to silence indignant protests. "For now, know that it was Sasuke himself who informed Suna who in turn informed us, of Naruto's being alive and held captive."

"What if Sasuke is lying?" Shino rumbled through his ANBU-issue scarf.

"We have DNA evidence of Naruto's existence," Shikamaru responded. "Now, if we can—"

"What evidence?" demanded Konohamaru. The spunky teenager had grown substantially in height, confidence, and raucousness. Moegi and Udon were quieter in seats next to him.

Shikamaru glared at Sakura. She rolled her eyes. She'd help him this time.

"Hair," she said curtly. She glared back at Shikamaru, _Happy?_

"How do you know it wasn't just ripped of his corpse?" Konohamaru persisted.

Shikamaru frowned. How did they know? It wasn't included in the report. Kakashi was curious as well. Sure, they hadn't buried the real Naruto, but what if the real Naruto was a pile of bones in a ditch somewhere deep in Oto?

Sakura laid her palm flat on the table, relishing the coolness of the wood against her callused hand. "The skin still attached to the follicle roots of the sample we were sent, indicate that the hair had been ripped off recently. Especially," her eyes flicked towards Konohamaru's fiery ones. _Cool down_, "Since there was blood still on the skin particles." Konohamaru's face blanched. Sakura wasn't finished:

"The carbon decay of the skin attached denotes that the cells couldn't have been separated from their source for more than a few days."

The room was silent.

"That answer your question?" Sakura asked Konohamaru quietly. Shikamaru hid his grin.

Konohamaru nodded and averted his gaze. It'd been a number of years since Sakura had chased him down the street, swearing bloody murder, when he'd implied that she'd been romantically involved with Naruto. He'd probably just forgotten how scary she could be…

"Whether or not everyone's questions about the validity of Naruto being alive has been answered, we are moving on. Our main priority at the moment is to make sure we can retrieve Uzumaki Naruto to the safety of Konoha with as little casualties as possible. We should not divert our attentions for personal reasons during this war meeting," Shikamaru said firmly, his eyes daring anyone to protest.

There was no opposition.

"Now," Shikamaru said approvingly, "Let's get to business."

As he unfolded his battle plan onto the three maps spread out in front of him, indicating troop positions with red stone markers, Sakura's eyes were narrowed in thought. A random glance in her direction notified Sai of her distracted gaze. She was clearly not paying attention to anything Shikamaru was saying. An ink snake slithered out of his left pant leg and maneuvered its way through toes and ankles until it reached her small, heeled feet. It wound its way up her calf, resting its head on her knee. Sakura looked down, and her breath froze in her chest, her heart constricting in fear.

_A swarm of ebony-scaled snakes shot out from his white sleeves, their fangs piercing every part of her body they could manage… _

The snake's small eyes stared up at her questioningly, the ink giving it a depthless appearance. She willed herself to not make any noise, so as not to disturb the conference, but her pulse pounded against her rib cage. It shifted into a mouse abruptly. She glanced up at Sai, his expression clearly apologetic while hers showing that she was recovering from terror.

Color returned to her face little by little, and her eyes no longer held a ghost-like emptiness. Ultimately, Sakura shook her head, _It's okay._

"—what do you think, Sakura?"

She snapped to attention, suddenly aware that twenty-four pairs of eyes were staring at her. She never was one for public speaking.

"What do I think about what?" she asked, running a distracted hand through her hair.

"About the battle strategy so far," Shikamaru restated slowly, his eyes narrowing in concern. Lately, she'd been spacing out so much more frequently… He didn't like it at all.

Sakura stared at the maps in front of her. She stood up slowly, and with a quick sweep of her hand gathered all but two of the red stone markers, depositing them back in their stone jar. She sat down resolutely, crossed her arms across her chest and challenged any opposition with her dark-green eyes.

"That," she gestured to the two stone markers remaining, "is what I think."

"You want… to orchestrate a covert rescue mission… in Oto?" Shikamaru asked her, dumbfounded. He was also a little peeved that she'd demolished twenty minutes worth of his effort placing the markers just so.

"That's suicide!" Konohamaru cried out indignantly. There were murmurs of agreement throughout the room.

"Oh, shutup!" Ino scolded loudly. She gave Sakura a wink. "I'm with Billboard-Brow."

Sakura gave her childhood friend a small smile. She could strangle Miss Piggy later.

After a moment's pause, Neji asked quietly, "You want a smaller operation so we technically don't acquiesce to a declaration of war?"

Sakura nodded. "There's no reason to go into full-out battle mode for just a simple rescue mission," she said.

"Simple rescue mission?" an orange-haired kunoichi sitting near Moegi scoffed. "Didn't the Hokage mean anything to you?"

Sakura steeled herself from giving any conspicuous reaction. Withdrawing into herself almost self-consciously, she didn't openly acknowledge the woman, instead picking at the green nail polish on her thumb, trying desperately to ignore the stares she was receiving. She had nothing to say, nothing to admit.

_You have no idea. _

"You obviously don't understand the enormity of what a full-scale battle means, Tohru," Shikamaru said grimly. "As important as the former Hokage was to us, launching this attack is a huge step against the progress we've made in peace—a peace that you've lived comfortably in thus far, because she," he gestured to Sakura, "has sacrificed her life and shed blood to secure it for you, your family, your friends and everything you hold dear now."

This quieted said Tohru considerably, but a Hyuuga towards the back of the room muttered, "No wonder Uzumaki-sama left her for Hinata-sama."

The Hyuuga then found himself slammed against a wall, choking for air. Green eyes bore into his dangerously.

"Care to repeat that?" Sakura hissed. The Hyuuga could only gag in response.

"_What would you know? Do you know anything about me?" _she asked in a deadly whisper, burning holes in the terrified ninja's face with the intensity of her fury.

Ino and Kakashi had half-stood up from their chairs, looking worriedly at Sakura. Shikamaru sank down into his and rubbed his forehead tiredly.

Troublesome.

But… His eyes flicked upwards to the somewhat amusing sight of the petite Sakura accosting a Hyuuga who was nearly a foot taller than her. This was a little more than troublesome… Possibly, interesting, concerning… He glanced at the pink-haired kunoichi quizzically, noting without much surprise how her grip on the Hyuuga's neck was contracting visibly as she shook the shinobi to emphasize some whispered point. She was usually so vulnerable whenever Naruto or her relationship with him was mentioned. Guess that nin pushed some major buttons.

His eyebrows narrowed… Or maybe she hasn't been sleeping well…

Her hand continued to tighten around the Hyuuga's neck. He was turning blue, his Byakugan failing to activate and his flailing hands pinned against the wall by Sakura's right boot and left hand. Her right hand was steadily squeezing the life from his lungs. Debris from the cracked wall behind him had already coated his flak jacket and hair.

He gasped for breath suddenly, as he collapsed against the floor, heaving. He looked up at the kunoichi, speechless, bewildered, shocked. But the med-nin's attention was turned inward, her hands loose by her sides. Sai's hand rested gently on her shoulder.

Sakura couldn't breathe, or she wasn't sure if she was… How could she when she was this mortified beyond comprehension? She'd lost her nerve in just the blink of an eye. She didn't know how or why she'd cracked… Years of careful self-control were blasted into nothingness with the mere mention of not only Naruto, but of Hinata, by a complete stranger. Her cheeks burned. She couldn't turn. Fight or flight didn't apply here. Immobility commanded her body. She couldn't face her peers now. Sai was thankfully blocking her from their view.

_Naruto had been so right about me…_

The room was deathly silent.

Sakura let out a long breath, face contorted in shame. They couldn't see this however. All they were about to hear was her icy voice. "You all know my position on this matter. If the council does decide to activate a full-scale invasion, please be aware that I will be taking no part in it. Not even as a medic-nin," she said quietly.

She moved for the door, away from Sai's hand, and shut it quietly behind her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

The office was filled with the sounds of a scratching pen and rustling papers. Only this time, it was frustration that seemed to wrangle out these noises from the pink-haired kunoichi crouched over her desk. She mercilessly filled out release forms, admission forms, requests, check-up notices, international correspondences, and anything that was within reach on her desk. Once those piles of paperwork were organized into neat piles, she started attacking her desk drawers. Evening chill had started to creep through the windows by the time Sakura finished abusing her office furniture.

A light knock went unheard as Sakura leapt from her chair and focused killing intent on the filing cabinets lining her office walls. Shikamaru stepped lightly inside, only to be greeted by the sight of a disheveled and clearly rankled young woman knee deep in random piles of paper, and continuing to contribute wholeheartedly to the mess. She paid him no mind as he stepped over textbooks, different sized scrolls, file folders, and patient records to lean on the cabinet adjacent to the one she was rifling through.

He waited patiently until she exhausted her search and didn't flinch when she slammed the bottommost metal drawer home in frustration. Letting out a deep breath, Sakura turned to lean her back against the cabinet, and slid down to sit on a textbook of organ functions and a random patient's record from a year ago. Shikamaru followed suit, less dejectedly. Sakura curled up her knees to rest her chin on them and Shikamaru stretched out his legs, hands deep in his grey pants.

A few moments passed in silence, each waiting for the other to speak. Sakura finally broke the silence, turning to Shikamaru with innocent-looking eyes, asking hopefully, "Train?"

Shikamaru didn't even turn to look at her, as he said lightly, "Never in a million years."

Sakura scowled and returned her chin to her knees.

One hand withdrew from Shikamaru's pant pocket leg to flick open his lighter. Snapping it open, he sparked the flame on and off, watching the light exist and not exist, all at his whim. The small flame reflected in his dark eyes as nothing but a tiny speck of light. Something so little certainly had the potential to make any small man feel like a god.

"They eventually unanimously voted for a small scale retrieval mission," he said finally. Sakura said nothing. He sighed, "It did eventually occur to some of them that a full-scale invasion would be exactly what Sasuke wants and, therefore, bad for us."

Sakura's eyes stared at nothing, but she asked in a toneless voice, "Who's going?"

The lighter shut closed with a definitive snap. Shikamaru lifted his head towards the ceiling.

"Kakashi, Neji, Sai, Ino, Kiba, Tenzo, and Rock Lee," he recited. Sakura looked at Shikamaru in confusion. "I thought Kiba couldn't go." Shikamaru shrugged, saying, "I guess he changed his mind." Sakura returned her chin to her knees.

"Oh, and you're going, too," Shikamaru added smoothly. Sakura turned sharply to him, her expression indicative of an earnest search for arguments against such an assignment. She finally protested indignantly, "I'm needed here." Shikamaru cocked his head towards her. Sakura's stomach gave a sudden lurch—his eyes were worn…

And so tired.

Unaware of Sakura's observation, Shikamaru scratched his forehead and the tip of his nose, saying, "Well, the council agreed that you're needed more as part of the group." Sakura scoffed, "Even with Ino? One medic-nin is more than enough for any group." Shikamaru shrugged, "People know about you and Naruto." He ignored her glare, continuing with, "And they know enough to think that you belong there with the group—saving him."

Sakura opened her mouth to protest further. But every rational reason that arose in her mind seemed trivial to one significant fact:

"I don't want to go."

She'd said it quietly, honestly, and tonelessly. The truth didn't need adornment. Going meant opening dozens of old wounds, being scarred by new ones, and not knowing whether she could pull herself out from the fire ever again.

Shikamaru stared pensively down at his hands before shifting so that he was now sitting facing her. Sakura's head was buried in her arms. But as time moved past both of them, beryl eyes soon lifted to meet his patient ones. As if to break the level of perceptiveness she found in his steady gaze, Sakura looked at his chin instead. "Should I apologize to him?" she asked quietly.

Shikamaru rested his chin in his palm and now looked at her quizzically. "Who?" Sakura simply gave him a level gaze.

Flame clicked on. "Oh," he realized. He thought for a moment, before eventually coming up with, "Nope. No point in doing something so uselessly troublesome, don't you think?" He waved his hand dismissively, "Anyway, you didn't hurt him. Scared the shit out of him, yes, but there's not a scratch on the bastard."

Despite the good news, Sakura couldn't bring herself to feel anything but glum.

"I'm sorry for being so unprofessional," she muttered. Her cheeks started burning again. Just thinking about the incident made her stomach twist into knots from embarrassment. She refrained from burying her head in her hands, despite how much she wanted to. Shikamaru glanced at her and sighed. "Are you just apologizing to me because you want to apologize to someone but there's no one else here to apologize to?"

Sakura's fist tightened. "I don't know what happened. It was like someone else was controlling my body and I wasn't there for those few awful seconds." She bit her lip. "I shouldn't have snapped like that."

Shikamaru sighed. "It happens to everyone," he lied. "And with everything that's happened to you, you're certainly no exception." That part was the truth. He thought for a moment, and then asked, "Could it have been another manifestation of your telepathic jutsu with Naruto? Some excess emotion of his, or even his own reaction to what you heard?"

Sakura glanced at him in confusion. "I've only gotten flashbacks and horrible nightmares. And my door is closed right now. It'd have to be open to even make possible the level of external influence you're talking about. I'm pretty sure our jutsu isn't the same as the Yamanaka clan's Hiden jutsus."

Shikamaru thought for a moment, in his head going over the scroll that Sakura had sent him after the war meeting containing the original telepathic jutsu. He then asked Sakura curiously, "Before you guys used the jutsu, did you study the long-term effects of connecting two foreign tenketsu points?" Tapping the top of her head, he specified, "Especially this one?"

Sakura frowned and shook her head slowly in dissent, but time seemed to freeze and her eyes soon opened wide in realization. She stared at Shikamaru with a mixture of shock and frustration, finally saying, "No." Shikamaru tilted his head slightly, "Well, that's probably your problem then." Sakura's eyes blazed. Shikamaru raised an eyebrow slightly as he took in the level of fury dawning on her face, noticing how frantically she assessed the problem over and over again. In his entire life, he'd never seen such self-loathing as he was now seeing in those eyes…

Completely unaware of Shikamaru at the moment, Sakura reviewed her own chakra network, now aware that the tenketsu point central to the jutsu was indeed anomalous when compared to the rest of her system, as the chakra flowing through that point was blurred, almost fuzzy in outline, as if it was being interfered with from all fronts by external forces. Her fist clenched in frustration.

_How could she have not noticed this before? All this time… A _chakra point_, for Kami's sake, was being corroded and she still had no idea…_

She suddenly became aware of how closely Shikamaru was studying her. If he hadn't been, she knew she would have grabbed the hair at her temples and pulled until she created two distinct bald spots for herself. She wanted to scream. All she's been doing is making mistakes. Her eyes closed tightly and her throat suddenly felt tight.

All she's ever been doing was making mistakes.

"_You never could do anything right—tactfully, considerately—you name it, you'd do it wrong." His cerulean eyes were so cold… _

_She stared at him in shock, unaware that her vision was blurring from tears. She desperately tried to keep him in focus, but he just kept on fading in and out of her line of sight._

_This couldn't be happening. _

"It's my fault, and the worst part is," she croaked suddenly, her head bowed, "sometimes I don't know what I did wrong." These flashbacks had to stop. They had to.

Shikamaru frowned.

"I wasn't good enough. I wasn't strong enough," she whispered. Shikamaru abruptly turned his attention towards his hands, unsure of what to say. Unsure of what to reveal. He missed Sakura fiddling with her kunai holster.

She'd made up her mind.

Lifting her pale face, eyes virescent but hidden in shadow, she waited for him to look at her. Shikamaru returned her gaze without much thought until he noticed what she was holding out to him. At first he quirked an eyebrow in amusement, but then he frowned. 'Is that…?'

"Would you hold onto this for me? Hide it, somewhere I won't see it," she said faintly but firmly. "Somewhere I'll forget about it." The black pouch was too dark in her palm.

Shikamaru met her eyes, not very surprised. 'She's kept it for this long?'

"I don't think—," he began.

"Please."

The finality in her voice was enough to make Shikamaru hold out his hand, despite every single misgiving he had about having the stone in his possession, when he knew to whom Naruto would have truly wanted the stone to belong to.

"It's easier to hold onto someone that isn't there," Sakura explained quietly, as the pouch disappeared into his large hand. "You don't need their consent to care. But now that he's back, I can't claim the right to anything of his anymore." Her own hand disappeared into the pocket of her dress, as if to vindicate the emptiness her hands suddenly felt. She studied the space in front of her before adding, "It was—it is…" She shook her head slightly. "It isn't what he wants."

Gray eyes saw right through her. Shikamaru took a deep breath before saying, "You're deactivating your side of the telepathic jutsu." It wasn't a question. He didn't have many, anyway.

"From the start, something told me that he wasn't dead," Sakura ended up responding with. "It was probably this jutsu. Now that it's confirmed, it's not needed. And when we bring him back, it certainly won't be needed then."

Shikamaru frowned. "Wouldn't it help us to easier locate him?" Sakura shook her head sadly. "Like I said before, his door is open, activated, but it's-," she paused, trying to find the right word. "Compromised," she finished finally. "I'm not sure it could be used as a means of communication anymore. I tried calling him over and over that night." Her fist clenched tightly in memory, even in the absence of tremors.

"He would've heard me calling." Sakura's eyes closed. "Even if he didn't know what it was, he should've still heard me and responded in some way." Sakura couldn't feel her heartbeat. "He didn't hear me call."

Shikamaru studied Sakura pensively, as he usually did. He'd almost memorized her face. Just almost… He tilted his head slightly while his grip on the bag tightened. For the past three years, it'd become increasingly harder to keep his back straight with Sakura around. And still, he had absolutely nothing to tell her.

Sakura stood up, stretched a bit, and began re-filing the mess she'd made out of the cabinet behind her. Shikamaru watched her for a moment, her small pale hands moving assuredly, her eyebrows pinched slightly in concentration. He turned his attention back to what she'd given him. The small leather pouch almost disappeared in his large hand. A discreet peek inside confirmed his suspicions. A glimmer of blue and silver winked back at him. Sparkling, bright. A complete contrast to the last memory he had of it… Clenched in Sakura's hand, covered in her, Sasuke and Naruto's blood—a clear testament to the cost of being the legacy of the Sannin.

The little bag disappeared inside his fist for a brief moment before disappearing into his pants pocket.

"Is it alright with you if we go back to your place?" Sakura asked abruptly, as she rearranged a few last files and moved to place them on her desk.

Shikamaru looked up at her, completely unenthusiastic.

Sakura paused at his expression, and said quickly, "Another night, then?"

Shikamaru gave a small laugh, before reaching up to rub his neck. He'd been hoping to sleep early tonight. Today had been a long day. But still, he found himself obliging her, like he always did. "Which one?" he asked tonelessly as he rolled out a kink.

Her eyes looked almost grey in the dim light. She studied him carefully before saying tentatively, "Your apartment. I think that for now, when talking about these matters," she said, her voice low, "we should stay away from the Hokage Tower or anywhere the Elders could have influence over."

Shikamaru sighed and got up slowly, accepting the support of the hand she held out to help him up. Her fingers were cold. As soon as he was standing, though, he felt her palm flee his grip just as quickly as it'd been there to pull him up. Shikamaru felt the hand that had held hers clench involuntarily as he watched her turn away. She walked to her office door, holding it open as she waited for him to catch up.

Her voice, if it could be described in colors, seemed just as grey as her eyes had looked before the hallway lights had brightened them. "We have a lot of work to do."

OOO

Sasuke grinned. Folding the message tightly, he stroked the messenger hawk's head before sending it off. His dark eyes purveyed the grim sky in satisfaction.

He didn't acknowledge the screaming and banging echoing through the lower levels of his stronghold. Whatever was making the noise was loud and strong enough to send cries of agony far enough to where Sasuke brooded, at the highest tower of the fort. Still, he ignored it. If anything, the smug content on his face at least indicated that he wasn't bothered it.

The noises stopped suddenly.

A small breeze stirred the bangs around his face. He breathed deeply, as if to swallow in the resulting silence.

It was cloudy.

But, then again—Sasuke's face was stony while obsidian eyes peeled open into a dangerous glint—it was always cloudy here.

OOO

The clock showed that they had been discussing that fateful day three years ago, for the past four hours. The pair had gotten most of their facts straight, but the lack of discrepancies worried them more than anything else. Where were the holes, inconsistencies and strange facts? Sakura became increasingly frustrated by the lack of hard evidence she had. One could only go so far on intuition.

"There are a multitude of possibilities. Sasuke and the elders both could have a spy in your ANBU ranks," Sakura mused between voracious bites of an apple. "If anything, we shouldn't rule out the possibility that there have been and still is communications between those two parties." She paused to swallow, saying darkly, "Especially with the coincidental involvement between them and Naruto's sabotage."

Shikamaru frowned. "We investigated them before; publicly embarrassed them, if you will. All on your suspicions, may I remind you. Nothing came up, the case was closed."

"But it wasn't resolved," Sakura said firmly. She slowly felt old angers rising, old sorrows swallowing her and spitting her out—the two main components for revenge. Staring hard at Shikamaru, she asked, "How did Sasuke know exactly when Naruto's entourage would be arriving and plan his sabotage accordingly? Naruto turned his back on you and me, but he was still cautious. He made sure that Sasuke wouldn't know when his negotiation team would be arriving and which route they'd take. And they made sure to cover their chakra signatures the entire way. But still, five hundred miles from his stronghold, he met Naruto and—." She broke off, not willing to emphasize the part of the story that Shikamaru knew so well already. If it wasn't necessary, then the better it was for her. She didn't want to hear it out loud.

For him, even listening to that much again was a chore. Shikamaru shook his head to ease the tightness in his heart. He was itching for a cigarette. The fact that he couldn't smoke in his own home—he scowled at Sakura—was blasphemous. He scratched his throat agitatedly and then said, "From the start you were always suspicious of them, though. Why? And usually, when you mention them, Sasuke isn't far behind and vice versa. The elders just approved of Naruto going to meet Sasuke. Naruto possibly couldn't have told them anything. He didn't like them either." Shikamaru paused, eyeing Sakura's clenched fists cautiously. Her face, however, seemed more tortured than angry, so he suspected he was safe for now. He continued, "Just because both Sasuke and the elders were involved in his death, it doesn't mean they're allied with each other. A lot of it is just coincidence."

Sakura gave him a withering glance from her spot on his tatami matted floor. "How long have you been a ninja to still believe in coincidence?"

Sprawled against his couch, he gave her an equally dry look, hearing only 'troublesome' rolling around his head. "They willingly acquiesced to search warrants for their offices and homes. They had nothing in their possession that could indicate they corresponded with Sasuke. And since three Hyuugas carried out the search warrant, I'm pretty damn sure they didn't hide anything."

Sakura frowned. "They had nothing tangible. But that doesn't negate the possibility that they destroyed any correspondence. And what if Sasuke converses with them orally through his spy? Then we really can't obtain evidence without mental interrogation. A spy for either could be the same one." Shikamaru leaned back further into his sofa, rubbing his eyes. Sakura continued, "What's most telling is that they didn't allow Ino to investigate their minds."

"Well, they have immunity," Shikamaru said exasperatingly. "What else were we supposed to do; tie two helpless old people to chairs and dig through their brains?"

"We do that to other ninjas," Sakura pointed out dryly.

"Only those facing criminal charges," Shikamaru corrected just as dryly. "And they are holding some of Konoha's deepest secrets. Even I understand why they wouldn't want others digging into their heads." He reached over to where he threw off his vest and pulled out a cigarette and lighter from a chest pocket. He settled back comfortably in his seat to come across unforgiving green eyes and two pale fingers twirling a senbon delicately.

"Sakura, cut me some slack, will you?" he sighed. He bravely stuck the cig between his lips and lighted it, throwing the smoke back and away from him. "I'm an addict," he quipped. Sakura scowled, but the senbon disappeared into its holster around her wrist.

They settled into their respective silences, Shikamaru puffing away and Sakura finishing her apple, both tired of studying how the events of their lives led them to this tranquil moment in Shikamaru's living room. Tired of being tired, Sakura chucked her finished core into the wastebasket at the other end of his living room. Wiping her hand on her pant leg, she grabbed a blank sheet of paper and brush from his coffee table, intent on writing down the details of the past four hours. It'd be good review for her future microscopic attentions to every detail, to anything she could've possibly missed.

"So," she said, leaning over the table to point the furry end of the brush right between his eyebrows. "Do I have your official permission to reopen the case against the elders?"

"As long as it remains a discreet investigation," said Shikamaru, the slightest touch of a warning in his voice.

"When have I ever not been discreet?" Sakura asked sarcastically as she shorthanded some characters onto the paper. "And then, do I also have your permission to open a new case investigating the sabotage and subsequent death of the previous Hokage?"

Shikamaru shifted so that he was sitting up. He held out his hand and asked first, "Hand me an apple, would you?" Sakura pinned him with a look that would give his mother's a run. He retrieved the snack himself, rather quickly.

"So?" Sakura asked, brush poised above the paper in one hand when he'd returned to his seat.

"Yeah, yeah. As long as it remains classified as well," he said, eager to take a bite. After a hasty bout of chewing, he swallowed before asking her, "Are you going solo on this one?" Sakura's pen stopped moving for a few seconds before she nodded. "As much as I hate to admit it, I don't really trust anyone enough right now." Shikamaru nodded. "That is, of course, besides your lazy butt," she added flippantly, writing busily. "And I don't have much of a choice with that, do I?"

Shikamaru merely grinned. But jokes aside, he couldn't help but be a tad concerned. Gently, he asked her, "Are you sure you can handle the work on your own, though? There's a lot of space to cover." Sakura pursed her lips and thought for a few moments.

She nodded, "It might be a lot of work, but if we can pull Shizune from that mission she's assigned to and have her cover for me at the hospital while I start this investigation now, I think I can figure most of it out by the time we're set to leave… Which is…?"

"The mission's set to start in a week," Shikamaru informed her. Sakura frowned and asked, "The same date as the Elders had assigned? I thought you were going to change that." Shikamaru glanced at her in surprise, "You would prefer an earlier date?" Sakura found herself suddenly lost for words, so her hands became a new fixation as they fiddled with the brush she was holding. Nothing ever escapes his eye, and therefore Shikamaru continued, "I thought the later we act, the more we would provoke Sasuke; confuse him, at least. I'm sure he hoped for a quick retaliation. If we wait it out to the longest date possible, maybe we can draw the snake out into the open." Sakura nodded, but she couldn't get rid of a nagging feeling clawing at her gut. Shikamaru let a few moments go before asking slowly, "You'd prefer an earlier date?" Sakura bit her lip.

"I just…" Sakura struggled to better articulate herself while Shikamaru waited patiently.

"I'm just afraid that…" she tried again, and once more she couldn't finish.

Shikamaru stubbed out his cigarette and finished her sentence for her, "You're afraid he's hurt without much time left." Sakura's lips tightened into a thin line as she tried preventing the inclination of reassuring her become too great for him to ignore.

Shikamaru leaned forward, with his elbows on his knees, and rested his chin on his hand.

"I am, too," he said softly.

Sakura contemplated refusing to look at him… She refused herself and made herself focus in on his drained face. She'd never asked how he felt about this so far. Her lips tightened over her teeth. She hadn't really asked anyone. She hadn't wanted to know.

But, she tried. Versions of, "How are you feeling?", "You okay?", "Want to talk about it?" forming their beginnings in stuttered breaths, but ultimately the efforts of her opening and closing lips remained wordless. It didn't help that he was now hiding his eyes with his hand and letting out a deep breath.

She tried again. He wasn't one to tell anyone anything unless they tried. She had to try.

"Will you be alright?" she asked finally. One hand left her brush pen to touch his elbow with only the tips of her fingers.

Grey eyes peered out from behind his scarred hand. He gave a tiny laugh before nodding.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said. He knew he didn't sound too convincing… Her eyes couldn't lie for him anyway.

So, he sighed and gave in.

"I haven't been feeling 'good enough,' either," he let out, his head bowed towards his knees. "Not for a long time."

Sakura's eyebrows drew together, as she moved closer, urging him to look at her properly by lifting his face gently with her hand. Grateful that she didn't ask why, as she didn't really need to, he obliged, but with such vulnerability, Sakura became immediately unconfident in her abilities to tell him what he needed to hear. However, urgency spurred her to conceal this with a voice, as sure and firm as she could manage, that insisted, "However different you are from Naruto, you are both good men. That is why you're a good Hokage. No one can deny that."

He did his best not to sound hopeless, as he replied, "Then why are we still at war? What haven't I done that I should've?" Shikamaru knew he was challenging her as much as he was reaching out, but could she give him the answer he wanted so desperately? She stayed silent, though, but, as far as he could tell, not because she was still thinking. He saw she waiting for him to answer his own questions. She knew that he already knew.

One last time, he tried not to beg; let him indulge himself this once. One last time, he promised. He tried again, in a whisper that made the hand at his cheek grip his face a little tighter, "What should I do?"

Her hand left his face slowly, but she kept his eyes locked with hers before slowly stating, "Keep fighting."

His eyebrows creased, before he shut his eyes tightly. One blink ought to do it.

Yep.

He let out a breath of a laugh before placing a hand on her hair, giving her a smile too sad to properly be one. There was still some sympathetic concern on her face, but he needed to breathe, not knowing that Sakura was trying to do the same as he stood and made his way towards his bedroom. He didn't notice the way her face fell as she watched his back. Dejectedly, her shoulders dropped before she forced herself to move, do something, anything. She grabbed some more sheets of paper and began writing earnestly.

If only she knew exactly how to help.

Shikamaru came back out a few moments later with a few new file folders, laying them by Sakura's right hand. She said her thanks, but remained preoccupied. Shikamaru remained standing by her side, hands resting casually in his pants pockets. From where he stood, he could only see the back of her head, her face hidden by her tied hair. Ignoring his comfortable previous occupation of the couch, he bent down and sat beside her, fishing out his official seal from his pant's pocket and stamping the corner of papers she was pushing towards him.

"You carry that thing around with you?" Sakura asked absentmindedly as she continued scribbling away. Shikamaru sighed, "It didn't take much time after I took on this job to realize that situations just," he gestured with his hand, stamp waving away with it, "Pop up without much prior notice—like this one. It makes me feel prepared." Sakura nodded vaguely, glancing at him for a moment before turning back to her work, her face a little less strained.

A few more moments of Sakura writing and Shikamaru stamping passed before her brush suddenly stopped. She fiddled with its wooden handle before glancing at Shikamaru. He didn't look up from his examination of one of her notes as he asked, "What?"

"I need you to give me the authorization to look at Sasuke's bingo book," she said seriously. Shikamaru faced her in surprise, asking, "Don't you already have clearance?" As Sakura's cheeks grew red from embarrassment, so did Shikamaru's from regret at asking. Sakura took a deep breath before admitting, "Naruto closed my access to it." Shikamaru took a big breath and blew it out roughly, as if to release the uncomfortable tightness that'd become lodged in his chest. Sakura had begun to bite her nails, a faraway expression clouding her face. Shikamaru reached out and gently grabbed her poor fingertips away from her mouth. Green eyes met gray.

"Sure," he said simply. Sakura held his eyes for a beat before gently moving her hand away from his grasp. She didn't need to say anything for Shikamaru to know that she was grateful, not just for this, but for everything else as well. Shikamaru had also caught the small upturn at the corner of her lips—for that brief second.

Sakura returned to her notes and theories on Naruto's sabotage, trying to recall specific details that were three years too old. She'd have to later corroborate and compare these with official documentations of the incident.

Shikamaru stretched and stood, stretching some more. Tapping Sakura's shoulder, he drawled, "Mind if I hit the sack?" Sakura paused from her conspiracy theories to look up at him and his tired face. She nodded slowly, her eyebrows narrowing in concern, though she simply said, "You've had a long day." Shikamaru nodded gratefully, hid a yawn and began the tortuously long, four-feet trek to his bedroom. He called out behind him, "Don't stay up too late." Sakura gave a, "Hm," in response. "You know where the blankets are," he added. Shikamaru lastly heard her distracted, "Yeah," before entering his bedroom. Peeling off his clothing, he made his way towards his bathroom. Cranking up the hot water faucet, he waited for the shower to warm up. It was then that he got a good look at himself in the mirror.

"SAKURA!"

Sakura's lips gave the barest hint of a grin. Poor boy didn't know until right then that she'd poked an inky black dot right between his eyebrows when she'd asked permission to investigate the elders. Glancing away from her papers towards the ink stone by her right side, she noted nonchalantly that the ink was permanent as well.

OOO

He grinned, revealing two abnormally large canines. His clawed hands flexed, red-black energy swirling around them in a menacing vortex. Across from him, Sasuke clutched at the gaping wound at his side, leaning against the wall behind him for support. His boots scuffed the stone floor to prevent him from slipping.

Despite his bloodstained and bruised mien, his eyes were calm and almost… bored. He blew stray hair out of his eyes and, at a leisurely pace, bent down to grab one of his katanas from off the floor. He now moved away from the wall, putting all his weight on his steel blade. He breathed deeply and stood slowly. Electricity sparked from his hand as his lazy grip on the hilt of his sword tightened considerably.

"Let's get this over with," he drawled, although there was a bite to his words.

The man across from him grinned wider, although his expression was far from anything that was socially accepted as a smile.

Six words snarled bloodlike from his lips—

"I'm going to rip you apart."

OOO

The sun had risen an hour ago, but she still felt dark. And cold.

Nonetheless, she made no effort to warm herself. Instead, Sakura remained motionless on Shikamaru's windowsill, one leg propped against the wood, the other dangling precariously onto the façade of the building. Her hands lay still in her lap. She leaned heavily against the slat behind her. The window was just big enough to hold her.

Her jaw clenched as her hands slowly folded into a Ram seal.

_I can do this_.

She shut her eyes, but screwed them shut a few moments later to block out the remnants of sunlight sliding behind her eyelids. Sakura zeroed in on the blasted tenketsu point that had been plaguing her mercilessly for the past few days. Or was it years?

She gritted her teeth.

_Kai! _

"_Sakura!"_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_She opened her eyes slowly. _

"_What do you think?" he exclaimed triumphantly. His left hand gestured boisterously at the breathtaking sight before him while his right hand stayed securely at her waist. _

_Sakura was speechless, unsure if it was even possible to fully take in the sight before her. In a waterfall glade just outside the walls of Konohagakure she and Naruto had discovered a few months ago, he'd somehow planted an entire grove of blooming sakura trees. Approaching dusk set fire to the delicate pink petals of the slender trees dotting the glade. She distantly felt herself slip away from Naruto to the nearest trunk, feeling his wide smile warming the deep green silk lining her back. She touched the smooth bark, running her calloused fingers along the length of a low branch. She then turned to Naruto, unsure of how to express this unbearably ecstatic pressure threatening to engulf her from the inside out. _

_He moved towards her, folding her easily into an embrace. When he was home, he never liked being away from her… Closing her eyes, she rested her head against his chest, feeling that familiar steady heartbeat through his dark orange kimono. The sound of rushing water was all around them, but still, the only thing she could comprehend was his steady breathing._

"_Our heaven on earth," he whispered into her ear. She smiled into his chest before looking up at him, her eyes bright. Her hand came up to rest against his cheek. Her fingers traced his whiskers lightly. His hair was windswept, barely held in check by her old red hitai-ite. She'd given it to him a while ago, when his black one had been torn from his forehead and lost in battle, although she hadn't expected him to wear it ever since. It had clashed horribly with his previous orange jumpsuit, but fared better with his jounin issue uniform. _

_Her hand came to rest over his heart. _

_This close, and yet she felt like she wasn't really see him. What was there to see when she's memorized every scar, every flash of his eyes, every smile? What's next when there's nothing left to learn about him? _

_He grinned, pressing his forehead against hers as they both shut their eyes. Sakura felt her heart swell—she knew the answer. _

"_Heaven," she whispered. _

_His lips were soft as they pressed gently against hers… _

Sakura opened her eyes abruptly. They remained unblinking for a few seconds before her hands slowly came up to her face to cover them. This way, she couldn't watch herself teeter on a brink she thought she'd turned her back against long ago. After staring at the dark of her palms for a few moments, her hands fell back to her sides. It took a moment of purposefully staring at the ceiling for her to note offhand that it was not hers. Rolling onto her side, she registered that she was in a bed, mummified in extremely soft blankets. She was also now facing a window. Bright sun peered in at her through the slats of the bamboo blinds.

…Bamboo? But she had curtains…

She groggily rolled over onto her other side, only to be greeted by Shikamaru's exhausted profile. She at first contemplated sending him careening through his walls into his neighbor's living room, but as she took in his careworn face, that almost reflexive urge to maim in the name of her violated honor gradually ebbed. Green eyes sleepily blinked open and closed as she studied her unexpected companion.

He'd grown paler—a strange effect on his usually tan complexion. As it was still spring, she was sure his long days cramped within the Hokage office had something to do with his change in color. Green eyes narrowed as she saw slightly defined ribs carving their way through his chest as an arm came up to cover his eyes. Her gaze softened considerably as she realized how much weight the usually muscular Shikamaru had lost. While Naruto had seemed to thrive off of being Hokage, the job seemed to do nothing but wear down the more intellectually sensitive Shikamaru.

Sakura closed her eyes and sighed softly. She couldn't heal stress. Kami, would she have a lot less trouble herself, if she could…

"What time is it?" he suddenly asked tiredly, peeling his arm away from his face to rub his eyes with a lightly closed fist.

Sakura yawned before rolling over to look at his alarm clock. And promptly wriggled around like a fish out of water, intent on making it to her hospital shift, although she was three hours late.

Shikamaru's hand came down to hold the blankets fast, successfully trapping her, while he said lazily, "I called Shizune in to cover for you." Sakura felt the air expel from her lungs in a disgruntled sigh, albeit one in relief. "You couldn't have told me that before you asked me to look at the time?" she mumbled crankily. Still, she gratefully snuggled deeper into the blankets around her: she'd escaped the predicament of being late to a hospital shift for the first time in her life and was awarded with the lovely opportunity to sleep in on a workday. She couldn't remember the last time she'd taken a day off. Sakura closed her eyes, lastly remembering steady breathing beside her…

_As she woke, she realized she could only open one eye. She blinked, with a little effort. The other was bandaged shut. She sat up, painfully, as her ribs were still broken, and because of a warm weight across her stomach. She made to flex her fingers, but those of her right hand were covered tightly by a large tanned one. She was pleasantly unsurprised. Naruto's head rested on her bedside. He was snoring ever so slightly, his other arm thrown loosely across her stomach, hence the unaccounted weight. She smiled and smoothed away a shock of blond hair from his cheek. Her bandaged fingers lingered on his head. _

_She then looked towards the slightly drawn curtains. It was raining heavily. Sighing, she continued to absentmindedly stroke Naruto's hair away from his face as she remembered the events that had lead to her injuries. Naruto had been forcefully pulled from Sage Mode by his injuries and the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode was failing to emerge. He was gasping, on his knees, as he tried to stand, unaware of the avalanche of boulders headed his way, loosened earlier by his rampage and unleashed by gravity or fate. She remembered running, Yamato-taichou yelling at her to stop—she evaded his manipulations of wood, prying free or destroying those lengths of timber that tried to obstruct her way… Naruto turned his head, eyes widening when he saw her coming towards him. He reached for her, but could only gasp as she grabbed him by the shoulders and threw him forward. She remembered almost making it, her hand outstretched as she let go of his jounin vest. His blue eyes were panicked. Then there was just agonizing pain, and then numbness. During the split second she fought to remain conscious, she realized the rocks had caught her from the shoulders down. She didn't remember much after that… _

_Sakura turned sharply towards the door as it swung open silently. Tsunade gave Sakura a level, but warm, stare. The last Sannin noticed the young man sleeping beside her and stayed silent. Her heels clicked on the tile floor softly as she made her way towards Sakura. The Hokage let out a small sigh before a hand cloaked in green chakra came up to Sakura's side and healed more bruising that developed after the initial emergency operation. Sakura winced and gritted her teeth to make no sound. She waited for the Godaime to begin reprimanding her for recklessness, but Tsunade remained tight-lipped. Any worry was only expressed through the look from her hazel eyes. _

_The healing session was long, and at the end of it Tsunade was visibly strained, her knees were shaking and she was supporting herself with one hand against the hospital bed. Concerned, Sakura made motions for her shishou to stop before she wore herself out. As powerful as the older woman was, she didn't retain the faculties she wielded a few years ago, hence, Sakura dividing up the Hokage's more difficult hospital duties with Shizune. Tsunade persisted, green chakra flickering, until Sakura placed a warningly gentle grip on her shishou's wrists. Hazel eyes clashed with green. Ever so gradually, Tsunade's chakra dispersed. There was no need for a smile, but Sakura couldn't help but give her shishou a hopefully cheerful and reassuring one. _

_All wounds can heal naturally…_

_Then again…_

Maybe not.

Sakura blinked as she slowly registered her surroundings again.

She'd only gotten one extra hour of sleep before her biological clock made sure she woke and got up. Rolling out of the cocoon Shikamaru had stuffed her in, she made a quick beeline for his bathroom. After answering nature's call, she hopped right back into bed and re-rolled herself into Shikamaru's extra blankets as quietly as possible. Shikamaru didn't stir. Sakura sighed and closed her eyes. It was a cold morning.

Thoroughly warm again, she drifted back to sleep, even though a whisper of her subconscious kept warning her to stay awake, to stay away from herself…

Away from him…

"_Happy Birthday, Sakura-chan!" He held out a large, white, rectangular box, a huge grin on his face. She laughed in surprise and threw her arms around his neck, holding him tightly before letting go to look into his face. "Thank you!" she chirped, trying to hide how thoroughly she was drowning in his eyes. Sometimes, she was certain she could disappear into their light if she looked for too long._

_He laughed, "But you don't even know what I got you yet!" _

_The night was unusually cold and so was the bench they were resting on after her birthday dinner at Ichiraku's. Naruto kept an arm around her as she opened the gift. He peered at her face earnestly as she stared, speechless, at the stunning ivory coat blinking up at her in greeting from the box now open on her lap. Her calloused hands shook a little as she hesitantly traced the green embroidered kanji gracing the back of the coat. _

_Eyes wide, she turned to stare at him, a slow but exuberant smile slowly brightening her face. He smiled bashfully and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "Well, you got me my coat," he said, gesturing to the orange silk, black flame-emblazoned masterpiece she'd coughed up two months' savings for. Over it, however, he wore a gigantic orange and blue striped scarf she'd haphazardly knitted for him last winter. The effect was a little more than strange. "So, I thought I should get you one, too," he finished with a smile._

"_I got you that coat because your old one ripped," Sakura reprimanded. Her scolding, however, was completely at odds with the joy on her face. She looked back down at the shimmering thing of beauty before her and couldn't help but thinking._

I don't deserve this…

"_Of course you do, Sakura-chan!" _

Damn telepathy.

"_Hey! What are you talking about? It's a great jutsu!" _

_Sakura just shook her head. She continued to admire the coat, inwardly in wonderment as she observed the subtle patterns of butterflies and lotuses woven into the silk, revealed only when moved under light. _

_Naruto tightened his arm around her and leaned closer. It was a relatively cold night, so she welcomed his warmth. He gestured excitedly at the kanji: "See? Our two favorite words!" he explained. He pointed at the kanji, 'shin,' and said, "Believe. Mine." Sakura simply nodded, amused beyond belief. He then pointed at the next kanji, 'yuuki,' and said, "Courage." His hand came up to her cheek, resting there, before gently smoothing a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. "Yours." He smiled warmly. _

_The smile disappeared in confusion. "Eh? Are you crying, Sakura-chan?" _

_She hurriedly wiped away a few stray tears that came unexpectedly and laughed. "It's nothing," she insisted against his overly animated concerns. The happiness she felt was overpowering and her heart literally felt fit to burst. She studied his wild gestures and elated face as he babbled on and on about an idiotic tailor, and was suddenly aware that whenever she was with him, her life felt fulfilled in some indescribable, almost heartbreaking, way. _

_Because of him. _

_For him._

_Everything seemed to make sense. _

Shikamaru was only awake for a moment. He turned over to look at his clock, sighing as he lay back down. He stared at his ceiling light for a moment before stretching his neck from side to side. His gaze blearily and slowly focused in on Sakura. Facing him, she was curled into a defensive fetal position. Shikamaru sighed, 'Typical.' He reached over with one hand to tuck the blankets he'd wrapped her in more securely around her small frame. He then noticed… Frowning, his hand slowly, hesitatingly, almost regretfully, drew near her pale face. The back of his forefinger wiped the tears off the side of her nose gently.

His lips tightened momentarily before he abruptly rolled over, facing the other wall.

Away from her.

He closed his eyes resolutely, hoping, praying, that neither of them would remember this in the morning.

Please.

Don't remember.

Sakura lay still.

_She was shaking nervously. She'd been waiting for the past four hours, not being able to do anything other than pace or sit at her couch. And she couldn't think. She couldn't think. _

_She couldn't think of anything but the fact that he'd closed his door. He'd closed his door. He'd closed his door… _

_She was clenching her fists so tightly, her nails were drawing blood from her palms. _

_Yes, they'd fought before, more frequently recently, but he'd never shut off their mental communications. Even if they didn't speak to each other for a day or two, both engrossed in maintaining their silent treatments, they could still reach each other telepathically, usually begrudgingly asking how the other was doing and moving on from there._

_She was limping as she paced. As preoccupied as she was, she'd forgotten to heal her tendons completely. She didn't attempt to now. Despite her current state of mind, she maintained enough faculty of self-preservation to acknowledge that she wouldn't be able to completely control her chakra. Barely healed tendon was better than her leg decorating the kitchen walls in bits and pieces._

_Why had he become so antagonistic towards her lately? She'd told herself that she was imagining things… Like those times she noticed his heady glares when he thought she wasn't looking. Maybe she wasn't just seeing things. She tried to think but her stomach was in knots. _

_She stopped pacing and sank into one of her kitchen chairs. She folded her arms tightly on the table. She couldn't sit still. She put her head in her hands. _

_Think. _

_She'd been so busy lately—maybe it's because she wasn't around as much as he'd like… _

_Her jaw clenched and her heart hurt. Sasuke… He brought them together by leaving. He'd come between them by staying gone. Or maybe it was just them? She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her hands over her face. Maybe she should have fought Sasuke yesterday. Maybe she should've done more, even if it was just to show Naruto that she cared about what he wanted—even if she thought it was entirely destructive and borderline obsessive. Of course, she scoffed under her breath, she'd know completely about that. _

_She started, focusing her attention on their door. _

_He was home. _

_She stood hastily, but her steps faltered as she drew nearer to the door. It was locked. _

_It was never locked. _

_She then felt it in the air. Something didn't feel right. After a moment's hesitation, she scowled. She had a right to know. Out of anyone in his life, she had a right to know. _

_She knocked firmly twice. _

_There was an agonizing silence, which Sakura spent restraining herself from ripping down the door._

"_Come in." _

_She froze, horror seeping in trickles from her gut and clawing its way up her esophagus. _

_The way he'd said it._

_He'd sounded just like Sasuke. Their voices occupied different pitches and had different tones; Sasuke's was slightly nasal at a low frequency, while Naruto's rumbled from his chest. But just then… _

_Sakura shook her head and reached for the doorknob. She turned the cool metal and swung open the door cautiously._

_Two steps forward._

_(This voice, echoing from the deepest recesses of her brain, was screaming at her to turn around and run). _

_He had his back to her, standing, hands in his pockets—a picture of nonchalance—but for the tension crippling his shoulders and back. _

_(Her heart this time, screeching at her to pull a one-eighty and slam, shut, lock the door; anything to avoid what was to come). _

_He still didn't turn around. "How are you feeling, Sakura?" _

_She vaguely felt herself take a small step back. _

"_Fine," she was able to rasp out. Her throat was suddenly dry. She tried swallowing heavily. "You?"_

"_Just great," he said, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. The room was dark, cloaking him in shadow. She felt… like she was being subtly and slowly suffocated. _

"_It's great because," his voice cracked with sudden and barely checked rage, "The most important person in my life couldn't even begin to reciprocate my love, even if she wanted to." _

_Sakura felt her chin drop slightly. _

_He wasn't finished. _

"_Now, tell me, Sakura. Why are you with me?" His voice was suddenly friendly again. But she was struck dumb beyond redemption. _

"_Is it because I'm Hokage? You like men of power, status, fame, the whole game—right?" _

_His voice was directed to the wall in front of him, but it was rebounding off the plaster and stabbing her in throat. He might as well have just turned around and ripped out her vocal cords… _

"_Now then, since I'm too weak, stupid and incompetent for you, why don't you take your loose morals and go tag around Gaara. He's more powerful than I am. Or maybe Killerbee! He can control his bijuu better than me. Oh!" his voice slowed considerably, "And who could forget Sasuke?" Venom dripped from each drawled syllable._

…_And her heart. _

"_Well, Sakura? What do you think about it? Defecting to Oto? It'd save you a lot of time and effort, no?" _

_She found her voice, just barely. "I don-don't know what you're saying," she gasped. "What are you saying?" Her voice began to rise in panic, "Where is this coming from?" _

_Glass crashed onto the floor. "DON'T—" _

_Another crash, more shards dispersed into the air. "LIE!" _

_He spun around, hands dripping with blood, his palms in ribbons from elongated nails. He was breathing hard, red tingeing his irises. He glared at her, his eyes wild, furious, desperate—_

_Broken. _

"_Not to me," his voice broke. _

_She could only look back at him in terror and utter confusion. If only she knew what he wanted her to say—she'd do anything to relieve him of this… _

_She took a step forward, arms reaching for him (pathetically, she could tell, from the way his upper lip curled), hopelessness leaking from her skin. She stopped short at his expression._

_He was now looking at her with a mixture of disgust and sorrow. _

_He whispered. _

"_You selfish bitch." _

…

_Never. _

_Never in her life, had she expected those words to come from him. To her. _

_Never him—_

"_Never have you loved me the way I loved you." He sounded so sure using past tense. _

_Even though she couldn't see him anymore, he was blurring in and out of focus… Even though she could barely hear him over the assault on her heart (being thrown repeatedly against her ribcage)… She shook her head—_

_No. No. NO—_

"_Never have you thought about what I wanted, what I cared about. It always had to be about you and what you wanted. All that you damn wanted." He sounded like she was killing him, like she was breaking him… The dimness and intersecting shadows made his eyes look black. _

_You know that's not true. _

_(She was sure she was screaming it). _

_Tell me it's not true._

"_Naruto, I'm sorr—," she was choking on her own words, so how could she possibly handle his?_

"_I was your stress ball, then your walking stick, then your pity date and then, finally, I was your damn trophy," he hissed. _

_(She slowly felt her soul crumple into a sodden mess at the pit of her stomach). _

_Tell me it's not true. _

_He was walking away from her, clearly intent on leaving this room, this life—_

_This shell of a woman. _

_Please—_

_Not you, too. _

"_N-N-Na-Naruto," she felt herself choke. "W-wait—"_

_He paused. She felt herself catching up. _

"_Oh," he said lightly, his back to her. Again. He wasn't ever going to turn to look at her again, was he? "Did you for a second even notice who I've been with lately? Did you even care?" He scoffed, "No, right? So blinded with yourself, you couldn't see what was right in front of you?" _

_The only thing keeping her upright was air, but her knees were going to give way soon._

_He laughed. "You sounded just like her a moment ago." _

_He was gone._

_She saw herself sink to the floor. But she couldn't feel herself move. Her palms hit broken pieces of glass. Head bowed, her breath being ripped from her lungs in shaky gasps, her blind gaze was chained to the floor, along with them (her two boys) glaring at each other, with her fists clenched in joy, with Kakashi's hands and his one-eyed grin disappearing into their ebony and golden hair. _

_Her now bloody fingers moved sluggishly for the memory, brushing away glimmering pieces of light cutting its surface…_

_She frowned; the photo was just getting redder. She wiped at it frantically. It was just getting redder and redder. _

_She was sobbing now—she couldn't see them anymore, her blood saturating the photograph._

_Her eyes then caught her reflection, off to the side. _

_But she wasn't laughing. Is that her?_

_Why was she laughing?_

_Why was he laughing?_

_He wasn't here. Why was he there? _

_(Please be here)._

_She groped for the mirror. _

_It crumpled in her hand. _

…

_Where were the shards? _

_Her palm opened slowly. _

_Mirrors break, don't they? _

_The crumpled photograph fell out of her hand. _

_(It wasn't broken). _

_It wasn't broken._

_She curled into a ball on the floor._

_(It wasn't broken)._

_It wasn't broken… _

…

"_Sakura."_

_Let me sleep._

"_Sakura." _

_Leave me alone. _

"_Sakura."_

_Please. _

"_Sakura." _

…_Shikamaru? Her bleary eyes peeled open… _

All she heard was Shikamaru's soft but insistent, "Sakura. Sakura..."

Her eyes shot open. Shikamaru was on his stomach, arms hidden under his pillow, face turned towards her. His lids were half-shut and though partially hidden by his loose hair, nothing could disguise the piercing glint of his eyes.

She still couldn't breath very well.

"We should get up," he said quietly.

Sakura nodded. She turned over, away from him—somewhere he wouldn't think to look closer. Just look at her back. _Just stay behind me. Don't look at me… Please…_

While she clasped her hands together tightly to staunch their trembling, she struggled to control her breathing. Had he seen the sweat on her brow? Or the haunted pallor of her face? Quickly moving into action, she peeled herself out of her makeshift sleeping bag. She stayed sitting for a few moments, before swinging her legs out of bed. She hurriedly stretched, saying indistinctly, "I'll make some coffee."

Only when she'd padded out, did Shikamaru let himself groan as he sat up, scratching his chest tiredly. He slumped forward, resting his forehead in his hands as he heard Sakura's movements in his kitchen. He glanced at his door—where she'd left—with a soft look before moving out of bed. Making his way to his bathroom, he hitched up his loose pajama bottoms, telling himself, trying to convince himself, 'Just don't remember.'

Mesh shirt and better fitting pants on, he entered his kitchen to find a steaming mug of coffee waiting for him. Sakura sipped hers casually as she reviewed her notes from last night. Her eyes were bloodshot. As usual, he noticed, but said nothing.

Looking up, she greeted him dryly, "Good afternoon."

"Oh, shut up. You loved sleeping in," he accused. Sakura quirked a doubtful eyebrow, "Sure, but the couch was perfectly fine."

"Women," Shikamaru muttered as shook his head, "You weren't on the couch. You almost fell out the window." Her nose scrunched in confusion for a second before comprehension began to dawn slowly on her face. She frowned. Shikamaru's eyes peered at her from over his mug. "Did you release the jutsu without any other problems?"

Sakura didn't ask how he knew. She simply bit her lip.

Shikamaru set down his mug, unsure of whether to be frustrated, exasperated, sad or all three.

"I couldn't."

Her voice was small, shy, and so inappropriately uncharacteristic of her. Shikamaru gave an inward groan. "Do you mean you couldn't because you didn't want to, or you couldn't because you couldn't?" he asked impatiently.

Sakura rubbed her neck distractedly. "The second one. When I tried to release it as I would a regular seal, it backfired," she swallowed hard, "Completely."

Shikamaru looked down at his cup, tapping the sides with his fingers.

Sakura said quickly, "The most I can do right now is keep my door closed. It'll take a little more study and testing to remove the seal completely, I think." She sipped her coffee to fill the awkwardness she felt swelling up, having to explain herself to him. If only she'd discovered this unpleasant fact on her own… Instead of being uncomfortable for the sake of someone else, she could just be angry with herself.

"On the bright side," she tried to say in a jovial manner, when the coffee cup couldn't do its job, "I'll know whether or not Sasuke kills him." Shikamaru grinned at the unmistakable hint of sarcasm in her voice. He was definitely rubbing off on her. But still… He fiddled with one of his earrings. The small silver stud was bothering him lately.

"So," Sakura drawled, drawing circles on the table with her forefinger, "How'd you sleep?" Her efforts to change the subject were transparent, but commendable.

Shikamaru raised his gray eyes to appraise hers placidly. Her gaze was clear, honest…

Unsuspecting. As always… Did she really think she could fool those around her—those who loved her? Did she realize how much she was hurting them, by trying to do it all alone, by thinking that no one cared?

"Fine," he said finally. "I slept fine."

Her face became a little drawn as they both didn't address the lie. Impulsively, Sakura reached out and grabbed the hand he chose to rest on the table, and gave it a light squeeze. Without a smile, but with all the warmth she could manage, she told him, "Everything will be fine. We're all behind you." He could only look back at her, and wonder if he should begin hoping that she was telling the truth. Her hand left before his could respond.

She downed the last dregs of her coffee. Sweeping together her notes into their respective file folders and giving Shikamaru a small smile that was enhanced by the warmth in her eyes, "Thanks for the extra hours of sleep. And the coffee." Shikamaru thought about shrugging, but simply nodded instead. Trying to busy himself, he put more cream and sugar into his coffee… Though, he usually just drank it black. As he looked up, however, he noticed Sakura gone and already at his door, strapping on her heels.

Bringing his coffee with him as he walked towards her and leaned against the wall by the door, he asked, "Where will you be today?"

"A little bit of everywhere," she answered absentmindedly. "I have to play detective. But call me ASAP if you need a shogi partner who can beat you." Shikamaru just grinned. Straightening, she pulled her hair back behind her ears, about to say goodbye, but stopped short. She pointed at Shikamaru's forehead and gave him an innocently inquisitive stare. "How'd you get rid of it?" she asked curiously. He scoffed and gave her a dismissive wave. Turning and returning the gesture, she left. As his door swung shut, a breath of lavender and rain moved past him. He unconsciously found himself taking a deep breath. She was starting to smell like mint, too. He let out a fazed sigh—now his entire apartment was redolent of her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Brief glances in her direction might confuse the wayward observer into thinking that she—Konoha's top med-nin—was shuffling her way down the dirt road, much like an old woman crippled by the weight of too many hard years. Sakura walked slowly, hands deep in her coat pockets, file folders tucked under one arm. She stared at the ground in front of her, taking each step for what it was worth, while hoping that she was trying not to stumble.

_She was a coward._

She grimaced. After all these years, not once had she offered to go fight Oto-nins on Konoha's border. Much to her relief, Shikamaru had never assigned her onto any of those missions, either. She shuddered. The mere thought of a chance meeting with Sasuke again sent a trail of needles down her spine, coupled with a rising tide of burning nausea.

_She should've killed him when she had the chance. _

She bit her lip to keep back the tide of regret and self-loathing that threatened to swallow her whole each time she did think about her first love. There was a small (absolutely miniscule, she assured herself) part of her that actually anticipated their infiltration into Oto's stronghold. This part of her raged, craved to spill his blood, make him suffer… Again. She took a deep breath. And then there was another part of her that was twelve-years-old again, seeing him blink up at her, barely conscious, tell her she was heavy… She remembered how relieved she'd been.

You can never forget anyone you've loved.

She stopped. To her side, the door to her apartment complex waited, and beyond that, the stairs to her apartment… And his. She was still, and continued to face away from them, gaze soldered to her sandaled feet. The dream was still fresh in her memory, or the other way around—she didn't know anymore, she didn't want to know… She couldn't shake the fact that it had occurred nearby, much too close for her to not feel the process of an already scarred heart being shred into pieces resonate from the walls, the floor, this place…

She needed to repaint her toenails; the green nail polish was chipping.

She looked up towards her and Naruto's windows, the weak sun glinting off both of them. Naruto's plants moved a little, encouraged by a breeze. She'd left his window open last time she cleaned it.

Sakura sighed and moved to take her building keys from a pouch on the side of her kunai holster. Usually, she'd simply skip the formalities provided by her civilian landlord and just jump to her window, but she wasn't in the mood. A pale hand gripped the doorknob while from the other dangled her keys. She made no further movement to open the door. Then, she took a step back. Keys returned to her kunai holster and Naruto's plants waved goodbye to the pink-haired figure walking quickly away.

She didn't know where she was taking herself. Sakura let her feet do the work while her thoughts ceased. She was tired of thinking, remembering, feeling. She didn't know what she wanted or what she needed to do… No, she knew what she needed to do, but she was terrified of it. Solemn green eyes rose to look ahead.

…She felt trapped…

Her attention suddenly returned to her surroundings. She felt her hands clench into tight fists within her pockets. A breeze carrying a few leaves slowly moved past her as she stood stiffly in front of an all-too-familiar stone bench…

_Scream still raw in her throat, she skidded to a stop a few yards away from the cliff's edge._

_He stood between her and the gorge, bloodied blade extended toward her, its hilt in a light grip. When did he get so many tattoos? _

_Her heart pumped in her chest, every painful beat a sore reminder that she was afraid... So afraid of what she'd seen… She needed to get into that gorge to check on Naruto… In case… Her hands shook, and she felt her insides churn in fear—_

_No. _

_She refused to accept that he didn't survive—_

_She couldn't._

_He always made it, she assured herself._

_She wiped stray tears from her cheeks with a resolute fist. _

_Always. _

_She took a deep breath; she had to focus on the huge problem standing in front of her. Naruto will be all right. Her teeth clenched. She shook from the effort to hold down her emotions. Her head and heart needed to be clear if she expected to fight Sasuke and live to breathe through another day. She had a chance—he looked thoroughly worn out from his fight with Naruto… _

_Though so was she._

"_Sakura."_

_Her eyes snapped toward his cold ones. _

_Two small scrolls were pulled quickly from her vest and the resulting puff of smoke cleared, moving around her in wisps, to reveal a glaring green gaze, and two oversized axes gripped tightly in bloodied hands. The head of each was emblazoned with an artistic version of Konoha's fire emblem, while the metal hafts were wrapped tightly with cured leather. _

_Sasuke frowned._

_Sakura quickly checked how much chakra she had. She gritted her teeth—not much. Her previous fights with Sasuke's men and the frantic rushed journey here had definitely worn her out more than she'd like. She studied Sasuke—he wasn't in the most opportune condition, either. There were streaks of dried blood coursing down his face. She nodded grimly—Naruto had forced him to use the Mangenkyou Sharingan. _

_Her stance shifted, axes rotating in a test spin as her wrists adjusted to their weight. She hadn't practiced with these in a while… His Sharingan spun lazily as his katana suddenly ignited with crackling blue electricity. She took a deep breath, and charged, her long hair streaming behind her. If only she'd cut it beforehand. _

_The blades of her axes crashed against his katana with an earsplitting shock. Through the glow of her chakra running through her weapons, and the lightning sparking so near her face, she saw his lips tighten as his boots steadily lost ground. She gritted her teeth and forced more chakra into her axes, intent on pushing him backwards, over the cliff's edge. Sakura swiftly back flipped away, leaving one of her axes trapped behind to escape the swipe of the second katana Sasuke had suddenly summoned. He contemptuously knocked the huge blade away, with some difficulty, but found her defensive retreat cut short as she took a swing for his head before she landed. He ducked; she leapt into a handstand to escape the low double swipe from his blades. Her empty hand twitched, the axe Sasuke had tossed forty feet away swung into action. Chakra strings danced from her fingertips as Sasuke parried with the possessed blade. Chakra-strung hand still in motion, she charged forward, throwing her remaining axe into the air, and forming quick one-handed seals with her now free hand—_

"_Suiton: Mizurappa!"_

_The water streaming from her lips in a deadly spray clashed with a sizzle against Sasuke's Katon: __Gōkakyu no Jutsu__. She jumped through the resulting smoke screen, catching the axe she'd thrown, and brought the blade swiftly down, splitting the earth Sasuke had just occupied. He slid away, sending dancing balls of fire her way. She broke the chakra strings from her fingertips, the axe she was manipulating speeding into the ground with a resounding crash, and stuck the blade of the axe she still had firmly into the ground. Quick hand seals: Tiger, Serpent, Tiger. A protective vortex of water quickly swirled upwards around her. She felt his fireballs strike and dissipate against her liquid shield. She quickly unstuck her axe from the ground and brought it up to parry Sasuke's downward attack, the metals squealing as they ground against each other. Sasuke found bearing against the side of her summoned shield and crashed through it in a flurry of broken water to dodge the chakra scalpel now edging her empty hand. She followed him, continuing to relentlessly swing at him with a mixture of tempered steel and her own chakra. As she struck over and over, she couldn't help but silently thank Rock Lee and Kakashi, who'd both trained her to be fast enough to overcome a basic Sharingan. The complex genjutsu she'd created also helped—it blurred the outlines of her figure into her surroundings, not making her invisible, but definitely difficult to pinpoint. The fact that the genjutsu and/or henge was activated onto herself instead of onto Sasuke was her way of beating the Uchiha bloodline's adeptness at identifying illusions—they usually only identified ones that were used offensively on them. _

_Chakra scalpel dissipated to be replaced with a few chakra strings as she directed her other axe to return to her hand. Two katanas now clashed in sparks against two axe blades. Lightning was absent from his katanas, as blue chakra didn't flow through her axes—they were both worn out. Their weapons locked; Sakura was heaving and Sasuke was breathing heavily. Loosened dust and dirt swirled around them. The sky was dark and dank. Sakura took the moment to look up into his eyes. _

The way they looked in the moments he joked around with Naruto, the way they looked resolutely away when she fawned over him hopefully, the way they looked the last time he told her she was annoying, the way they looked when, fifteen and disillusioned, she'd tried to kill him…

_She felt her heart break again. _

_His black eyes were tar pools of contempt, mired in hatred and loathing. The slight curl to his upper lip was visible through the dirt and cuts marring his ivory complexion… _

_His eyes were so different now. _

_No. _

_She gritted her teeth as she remembered how his sword had so guiltlessly slid through Naruto's body. Nostalgia burned away—_

Make him pay.

_Two axes clanked to the ground, as the hands they'd been clenched in were suddenly alive with murderous blue chakra. They made for his throat and he flipped away, but as he landed, the ground collapsed from the force of the punch she'd sent toward the ground. She artfully and easily maneuvered through the destroyed and volatile landscape and brought her arm back to send another chakra-laden swing his way. He dodged, her fist moving through air, and sent a barrage of hundreds of shurikens her way. She ducked behind a loosened boulder, but then moved swiftly away, as Sasuke pierced the rock where she just was. The boulder split into pieces as he removed his blades with a snarl, proceeding to swerve through the avalanche of hefty stones she sent careening his way. _

_She skidded to a stop on firmer ground and tried to catch her breath. As Sasuke also took the time to gain steady footing, she ripped a few stray shurikens from her back and arms. Task accomplished, her fingertips became alive with more chakra strings as she directed their ends to her axes—_

_She gasped and looked shakily down at the katana end protruding from her stomach… _

"_Sakura!" _

_She could barely hear Ino's scream as Shikamaru held the blond back. The remaining members of Rookie 13 who had finished their fights had been watching Team 7 break all over again. They hesitated at the edge of the clearing, afraid to interfere, afraid to do nothing. _

_A choked noise and blood escaped her lips as Sasuke drove the blade in deeper. Chakra strings dispersed as her hands moved to shakily wrap themselves around the blade. She held onto it tightly, as Sasuke tried to remove it—_

_She wouldn't let him escape from stabbing two of the few who still cared about him in the back. _

_A quick chakra-enhanced kick backwards, and Sasuke gave a short grunt as his knee split into itself. His grip on the katana loosened as he lost his balance, and Sakura swung around, fist heading for his face. She sent the Onkyoukage thirty yards away, cheek and jawbone fractured, before she herself collapsed onto the ground on her knees. She swiftly ripped the blade from her gut and gasped as green chakra quickly flooded the wound. She leaned heavily on her hands, tearing bloody fingers through the dry earth, as the wound closed slowly. She looked forward, to the fallen form of white robes and pale skin, and spit blood as she stood up shakily, before turning around swiftly, freezing as she was confronted with bloody tears and the Mangenkyou Sharingan. _

_Her world was in black flames— _

_As she felt it burn above her from her earthen cradle. She waited patiently below Sasuke's feet, hiding her chakra signature until she regained her breath—she'd never used this Doton ninjutsu so quickly before, and her chakra pathways were somewhat in shock. There—_

_Her breathing was steady again. _

_She broke through the ground as her fist plunged upward for Sasuke's chin. He moved quickly back, ducking to avoid her kick, although her sharp eyes noticed that he didn't take the effort of dodging the loosened rocks that came careening up with her. He skidded to a stop a few feet away. She straightened, her back warm from Amaterasu's unquenchable rage. The knuckles of her fist were white and caked in red. _

_He straightened slowly, breathing heavily as he stared her down. There was no need for words anymore. They both understood their fates—_

_Suddenly, Sakura felt the breath leave her lungs. The green chakra that she'd sent through fissures in the ground, to where Naruto's body lay, told her only one thing… There was nothing to heal. There was no pulse, no breath… _

_He was cold. _

_Trying to stay upright, she desperately tried to focus on this nightmare standing in front of her, instead of on the one that waited for her thousands of feet below. Defeated and spent, she crumpled onto her knees, throat choking with sobs she was trying to suppress with a hand gripping the skin around her mouth, nails raising blood on her cheek, while her other hand clawed into the cloth covering her chest. Her wide-open eyes stared with disbelief, as she began shaking her head subconsciously. _

_He's all right. _

_Escaped sob._

_He was supposed to be all right._

_His killer—soon to be hers—was walking steadily towards her, pausing merely a foot away. His foot came up to nudge her shoulder, her body collapsing easily from the almost-gentle push. Sprawled on the ground, bloody, pale, she was now empty, her face already lifeless as it faced her comrades on the clearing edge. She made out Ino fighting against both Shikamaru and Chouji's white-knuckled grips. Their faces were broken as well. But she could only think of the man lying in the cliff below her, saw his face beside hers. She moved a hand to touch his whiskered cheek—_

_It froze midair as his katana sliced through her throat. _

_It was quite the pretty picture, she thought, as she stood behind Sasuke. Tears had coursed tracks through the grime marring her face, but they were long since dry. He turned slowly as her compromised kage bunshin dispersed. _

_There was not a shred of sympathy left in her eyes. _

_Sasuke sliced at them, blood spurting into the air as she fell like a stone, only to sink into a flurry of petals that wrapped around him, sticking to every inch of him. He swatted away at the relentless flowers, scratching at them—they kept sticking—his katanas were soon being used as scrapers, although he wasn't being too careful. Pausing suddenly in his quest to slice himself into bits, he blinked, the heavy genjustu being released immediately. She still stood there, in front of him, pale and resolved, cold murder pouring from every pore. _

_And so their genjutsu battle commenced, each frozen like a stone, only a few feet separating them, as they mercilessly cut into each other with every secret, every shared memory—every weakness. He attacked her with her unrequited love for him, she tore at him with memories of a smiling and martyred Itachi, he let her relive Naruto's demise, she let Itachi murder the Uchiha clan only to look into a mirror and see Sasuke's face, he mocked her easy tears and powerlessness, she played at his immaturity and close-mindedness… _

_Their eyes closed and his opened to her fist crashing into his face once again. This time, she followed his descent, kicking away his katanas with two tornado kicks, shattering his wrists in the process. She straddled his fallen form, punching and punching and punching for whatever her weak fists were worth. Her assault paused as she heaved for breath, grabbing the scruff of his shirt. _

"_WHY?" _

_He remained silent, mocking her with his eyes, self-righteousness bleeding into his glare. _

_She punched him into the dirt again, and jerked him up again by the throat. _

"_TELL ME WHY!" Her voice broke, as her anger set loose tears she'd hoped she'd never show this man again. _

_He stayed silent, his Sharingan failing to activate as she leeched chakra from him. She grimaced as she felt his chakra enter her system like a poison—she punched him quickly again to release it._

_Again.  
_

_Sickening crunch of bone against bone._

_Again. _

_Again! _

_She kept leeching his chakra and punching him until his face was almost unrecognizable from bruises and blood. She hissed as she stole his last bit of chakra. Her knuckles were a bloody mess as they came down, determined to disfigure the still handsome face staring up at her. But despite her attacks, despite her tears, she couldn't drain that sickening smile from his face or the arrogance housed in his eyes. _

_Through the cuts, rapidly forming bruises, and broken bones, he simply looked up at her, plainly conveying what they both knew, 'You couldn't kill me.' _

_Her face broke as her anger dissolved and weariness overcame her. She fisted her hands into his shirt and bent over double, head bent in vulnerability and the moment before defeat, realizing faintly that tears were still trailing down her face. She remotely felt his hands press against her back. _

_He was holding her, broken wrists and all. She felt his lips breathe into her ear—_

"_Kill me."_

_She opened her eyes in shock—_

_And then blocked her chakra system. _

_Sasuke stared at her from across the clearing, his face not the pretty mess she'd left it in his genjutsu..._

_If only… _

_She charged, boots cracking the ground, remaining chakra edging her hands, dodging the trails of lightning he again sent swerving her way. She hissed, as she wasn't fast enough to evade one. She ignored the rapidly burning skin of her exposed right side, her jounin shirt and pants slowly disintegrating as her boot melted against her right calf. She leapt to avoid his roundhouse kick, and flipped in the air, turning over and spiraling downwards, edged chakra now cloaking her entire body as she dove for his upturned face. He swerved aside as she destroyed the ground on impact. He leapt to avoid finding footing on the rapidly forming crater, and his katana sliced through the kunais she'd aimed at his jugular, lungs, and heart. _

_She felt her knee suddenly give way, as her healing chakra failed. She shuddered; her body was going into septic shock… _

_NO. _

_Not yet—_

_She pushed from the ground to dodge Sasuke's katanas, her hands fumbling for her kunai holster. She noted that he was gray and short of breath. Her lips tightened—good; he won't be using Susanoo, Tsukiyomi, or Kirin any time soon. _

_With both hands armed with kunai, she tried to avoid clashing blade with blade—these standard issue kunai didn't have the ability to house her chakra as her axes did and wouldn't parry against his katana. She faltered, losing footing again as her knees gave way for a second—a second which cost her three quick and deep slices into her vulnerable back. She doubled over from the pain, biting her lower lip as she mustered enough chakra to destroy the ground before her again with a wild punch, interfering with Sasuke's incoming killing blow. _

_Keep fighting…_

_They were using only taijutsu, as they were both now weaponless. _

…

_Sakura blocked his kick with two crossed arms, sliding down on one foot to send a heeled boot crashing into his gut and then his chin. As he reeled back from the blows, he caught her with a kick to her cheek. _

…

_Soon, dry dirt and brown grass cradled their collapsed forms, as both heaved and struggled to stand. Sasuke's arm made a quick movement, hundreds of black-scaled snakes with green eyes erupted in an avalanche from his sleeve, shooting for her huddled and gasping form. _

_She felt her throat constrict, her bloody and cracked lips tightening over teeth in a silent scream—_

_Agonizing pain. _

_Every inch of her body was pierced by their unforgiving fangs._

_Venom coursed through her veins, eating away at her flesh from the inside out—_

_She gritted her teeth. _

_She had enough—just enough strength to—_

_The snakes writhed against her—their teeth disintegrating from the slug poison now soaring through her bloodstream. The green acid neutralized the snake venom and bubbled up from her wounds to coat her skin. As his snakes shuddered in their dying throes, she ripped them aside with shaking hands, crawling through their carcasses towards Sasuke's fallen form. As she pulled herself closer, she blinked away blood to clear her vision, and saw his muscles shaking from spasms he was trying desperately to control. His face turned towards her, unable to look away, he watched her approach, his eyes ever-remaining chips of obsidian. _

_Her poison-slicked hands and knees slid and slipped against the earth. Soon, she was forced to fist the earth and drag herself towards him. Short of breath, she collapsed beside him, barely able to control her hand as it moved for his throat, her eyes still fighting against his cold gaze. Her hand struggled uselessly against his icy skin, shaking and unable to maintain a grip tight enough to cut off his air. _

_Her hand stilled, surrendering, lifeless against his chest…_

_The air was quiet, interrupted only by the disturbances of loose dust and distant battle cries. A kunoichi and a rogue ninja lay (her on her side, him on his back), both battle-torn, both haunted by the past, both scarred by the present. Her hair formed a dark pink halo around her tired eyes and bloody lips. His bangs fell over his forehead in black strokes, brushing his finally expressionless eyes. They simply stared at each other, each trying to convey some wordless message to the other through their shared gaze. But for all their wistfulness to loyalties of the past, their eyes weren't windows to their souls—not to each other. _

_His hand, long stripped of its black armguard, achingly moved for her face. It paused at her neck, resting its weight on the crook of her shoulder, and lay still. _

_He was so cold. _

_They both understood. _

_Her hand moved from his chest to cover his eyes. _

_His hand moved from her neck to the dirt in front of her face, fisting it in pain as she cut his ocular nerves with the remainder of her chakra. He made no sound. A glimmer of blue in the fist of his other hand caught her attention. She sluggishly extracted it from his grasp and clung to it with every last bit of strength she could muster. _

Naruto.

_Sakura felt herself being slowly pulled up and away by strong hands. _

_Shikamaru. _

_As he cradled her, Ino set to work healing what she could. Sakura felt herself blink slowly as some of her wounds began to close. She saw Ino's grim eyes, Shikamaru's grim face—_

_She turned her head slowly to look at the handsome, pale, unconscious profile of her former teammate—tears of blood streaking down his temples… _

I'm sorry…

_Oto-nins soon clouded her vision of him. Shikamaru had orchestrated an armistice with Sasuke's second-in-command. They were bearing their kage away on a stretcher. _

I'm so sorry_…_

_She suddenly pushed Ino's hands away, and made to stand, despite Shikamaru's pleading hold. She saw him…_

_His blond hair was spilling over the stretcher Konohamaru and a few other war-torn jounins were carrying…_

_Let me see him—_

She buried her head further into her knees, her back cold from the unwillingness of the stone bench to accept her warmth. She was tempted to lie down, but Sakura knew that she would never willingly lie down on this cold, cold bench again. And that she never should.

Her feet swung to the ground from their perch on the bench. She stood and straightened.

Walking back towards her apartment, her steps sure and strong, her eyes set in a resolute glare, Sakura finally understood that there was no point in avoiding fate.

Their fate—Team 7's—

Was to be broken.

She'd once made the mistake of leaving Sasuke and Naruto alone to battle out their rivalry, their incomprehensible bond… Self-centered and blinded by the past, she'd once interfered, convinced that she was some motivation behind their personal war. Truth settled in to make sure she abandoned those thoughts, but… Just because she wasn't a reason, didn't mean she wasn't a part of their fight. Not realizing this, she'd abandoned Naruto and Sasuke to their avoidable fates.

_Didn't she swear to protect them?_

She'd made this mistake, and it'd cost her everything: three years ago, Sasuke had managed to destroy everything that Konoha embodied—honor, bravery, strength, loyalty—by killing the one man to whom Konoha was unshakably everything and vice versa.

And she'd let him.

She helped him.

Her hands clenched into fists.

But never again.

Not this time—

_Sasuke…_

OOO

Her apartment was quiet and cold when she arrived. Straightening from pulling off her boots, she suddenly noticed a painting hanging by her door. Double-checking the kitchen to note an empty plastic carton, stripped of the dango it had carried, she muttered under her breath, "Sai." The pea brain had left a note under the painting. Ripping it off impatiently and squinting to read his exquisitely small handwriting, she made out in the dim light: _The only one that won't break when you look into it. _

One brow lifted in confusion. Then, she looked up to the beautifully designed, abstractly drawn mirror staring back at her. The note crumpled in her hand as a vein throbbed visibly in her temple. No wonder the bastard hung this when she wasn't home.

In a huff, she stomped her way to the kitchen, grabbing a bit of tape from a drawer, and stomped back to the painting. Actions betraying the air huffing from her nostrils in bestial-like puffs, her fingers gently smoothed away the wrinkles she'd created in the note. She taped it securely on the wall beside the painting and took a step back.

He was right.

It did belong there.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Sakura took frequent glances out her window as she slipped into an old black stealth suit. The last slips of sun had called retreat from the encroaching darkness and villagers still meandering about at this hour had to rely only on the meager light from weak street lamps and the dull moon. Hardened eyes scrutinized her reflection in the mirror as pulled up a black mask tightly around her nose and mouth. A separate dark, sheer sash dimmed her distinctive eyes. A dark hood took care of her hair. Piece by piece, she disappeared before herself—she took her time. Finally, effectively invisible if she stepped into a shadow, she stood in front of her window, arms crossed, passively waiting for the thick clouds to swallow what little light the heavens had yet to offer.

It wouldn't be too long now.

_She blinked sleepily at the stars and drifted towards the brink of sleep—_

"_Sakura-chan… Pst… Sakura-chan…" _

_She sighed and rolled over in her sleeping bag to face Naruto's earnestly awake face, cushioned between his makeshift pillow and sleeping blanket. Although she could only see his face, it didn't take much to notice how tense he was. Still, her half-awake glare was easily interpretable as a grumpy, 'What is it?' Naruto's brows furrowed as he struggled to find words. _

_Exasperated, she groaned, "If this can wait till sunrise, which is in three hours, mind you, that'd be wonderful—"_

"_Why are you with me?" _

_She sighed and rubbed her eyes, mumbling, "It's times like these when I wonder that myself…" _

"_No, really, Sakura-chan," he said lowly. _

_Unsettled enough into silence, she peered at his face carefully as the low campfire flickered against his tanned skin and danced in his solemn eyes. Surrendering, she sighed, and sat up with some effort. As she rubbed her forehead, she took a sideways glance at him—yes, his eyes were still serious. Her hands fell to her lap as her shoulders slumped forward in exhaustion. Their mission had been a hard one. But she supposed, she'd indulge him just this once. Bringing her knees to her chest, she wrapped her arms around them to insulate herself from the late night's chill. She covered a yawn and thought for a bit. _

"_Well," she began thoughtfully, staring at the campfire, "Is there any other place I should be? I'm with you because I couldn't even begin to imagine myself anywhere else." She turned her head towards him, resting her cheek on her crossed arms, saying softly, "I trust you that much." She studied him closely: cerulean eyes waited—he still needed more than that. _

"_And," she continued, "More importantly, I want to understand you. I want to know you, to grow with you. I want you to trust me. I want to help you in anyway I can. And I wish everyday that you'll find happiness with me, because, Kami… I thank her for everyday for blessing me with it when I'm with you." She turned her gaze back to the flickering campfire and said quietly, "To be completely honest, I couldn't really imagine life without you." She gave a small laugh, "Sounds a little dangerous, don't you think?" She thought for a moment more, before saying plaintively, "And I love you." Her eyes met his again. _

"_More than you'd ever know, I think," she repeated with a smile touching the corners of her lips but pouring from her warm look. Blue eyes blinked once slowly as Naruto seemed to breathe a sigh. Opening his eye once more, he returned her smile before his lids flickered tellingly. She watched him carefully as he drifted to sleep, his smile lingering longer than his consciousness. Her own smile had long since faded. As she herself curled back into her sleeping bag, she took one last curious glimpse at Naruto, if anything, wondering why he'd ask such a question… _

As she leapt out of her window, caught and swung from a roof beam, and flipped onto her apartment rooftop, Sakura reconsidered the reasons she gave him that faraway night. As she stood, looking out towards a silent Konoha like a mother watching over her resting child, she concluded that everything she'd said then was true. Feet flying, she ran, unidentifiable as little more than a flickering void against the star-studded sky, gone before the opportunity of a second glance could distinguish her from the night.

_Maybe I should have said more. _

Side-tracking the mist rising from the hot springs, she wove her way past, ducking into the cover of the trees when she saw Ino's ponytail flip and piercing azure eyes flit around suspiciously. Sakura stayed motionless as she waited for Ino to shrug and continue on her late-night trip to the onsen. A few stray fallen leaves were soon the only indications that she was ever there.

_But… _

Just a little stretch further-she was close. She slipped from her perch on the Hokage Tower rooftop into one of the shadows stretching from the cement wall to the dirt-packed yard.

_What else could I have said? _

Fully suppressing her chakra signature, she edged closer to the back underground door of the Tower. Freezing suddenly, she leapt twenty feet up into the air, flattening herself to the building's side while hanging precariously from the edge of the roof thatch. She held her breath tightly as two night-staff ninja guarding the underground stairway shifted into visibility.

"Did you feel that?" one asked the other as he looked around cautiously. The other simply removed two kunai from his holster and gripped them tightly in his hands.

Sakura ground her teeth. 'Damn you, Shikamaru,' she cursed to the man smugly smoking in his comfortable apartment. 'You conveniently forgot to warn me that you'd upped your guards in skill.' Swearing to do much-overdue physical harm to the chain-smoking pineapple, she suddenly let go, her small fingers folding into a Sheep and Rooster seal. A tweak here and there to correctly manipulate the smallest amount of chakra necessary, Sakura didn't really give the two ninja much time to register that they had fallen asleep. Their bodies, however, were freezing up into stiff, soldier-like stances, though their eyes remained open and glassy. She'll release the genjutsu when she leaves. Hopefully, until that time, no other shinobi would be interested in researching past missions and notice the two seemingly uncomfortably still ninjas.

She landed just before the bottommost step of the downward-leading stairway. Completely dissolved in shadow, she still remained crouched, stopping just short of the door. She straightened a little. Two chakra-laced fists slammed sideways to momentarily paralyze the protective seals lining the corridor's walls. She quickly slipped through the now defunct barrier, which was normally invisible to the naked eye, before she removed her fists and the seals could reactivate. Reaching the red-painted wood door, she paused to catch her breath. The files she'd retrieve from Konoha's archives had better be worth all this trouble.

A single fingertip lined with glimmering chakra took care of the lock. Sakura slid into the darkness of the hallway, shutting the door behind her. Normally, all she would do is waltz into the archives, her access unquestionably cleared, as she was the Chief Director of Konoha Hospital. However, in light of recent circumstances, Shikamaru agreed with her that to discourage the still unidentified spy from becoming too curious about the information she needed, she'd need to obtain the files like a criminal. It was troublesome, but she had to admit however, as she edged her way through intersecting shadows and batted away stuffed air and an oppressive absence of life, it was definitely a little more exciting.

Sakura finally reached the double doors that would lead to the mission archives. Stooping a tad, she examined the identification seals that allowed access to the room but, problematically, recorded the comings and goings of those interested in past cases. She sighed. _Troublesome is damn right. _

Straightening, she took a deep breath and began a series of forty-three hand seals that would momentarily shut down the chakra-engaged system. Security was of prime concern for files such as those the archives contained, but her unquenchable impatience tempted her with naughty ideas of sending a good chakra-laden fist through the barrier and calling it a day. Last seal finished, she gripped her left wrist tightly with her right hand, her left palm outstretched and parallel towards the center of the doors. Sweat beaded her forehead as she shook slightly from the effort of manipulating the release. Gradually, a visible and intricate network of kanji written in chakra peeled itself from her palm and attached to an invisible space two inches from the surface of the doors. With a sudden blinding flash of light, it steadily dissipated, along with the barrier. Seals lining the doorway suddenly blinked into visibility before fading substantially. While one gloved hand steadily wrapped around the doorknob and turned, the other wiped away the sweat from her brow. It was times like these when she direly wished for a bloodline or a large group of capable ninjas, she admitted to herself dryly.

As she stepped in cautiously, she felt her stomach twist into knots from the utter darkness that grinned so unwelcomingly at her and so voraciously devoured what little light crept in from the hall. She shut the door behind her with some reluctance, pitching herself into a literal void. She took the first few steps, her footfalls only identifiable by the stirrings of air her padded feet couldn't help but disturb. Sakura felt the telltale prickling of uneasiness inching its way up her spine. She'd never been in here when it was so dark. She felt so, utterly….

Alone.

She quickly reached into the utility belt she'd wrapped tightly around her hips. With a quick snap and shake, she soon had a glow stick emitting the faint but useful green light she'd never really grown used to, no matter how many times she used it. As she held up the light, she nervously pressed the cloth covering her forehead and the back of her neck closer to her skin—she was breaking out in a sweat despite the cavernous hall being regulated at a dry 15 degrees Celsius. Shaking black butterflies of fear away from her stomach, she stepped more purposefully down the corridor to her left. The forty-foot high, eighty-foot long shelves squirreled away every mission since the founding of Konoha, organized by rank, then date assigned and then captain assigned to. Shinobi ranked chuunin and higher had access to every mission labeled A-rank and below. But—she moved for the S-rank shelves—only ANBU, the Hokage, the elders, the directors of distinct Konoha departments and those on special grant from the Hokage could access these.

Stopping before the oak-paneled partition, she caught herself quickly before she, out of habit, used the seal that would unlock the door and tell the world that baka-Haruno Sakura was here. She took a deep breath and glared at the partition. Annoyingly enough, the release jutsu she used at the entrance the archive room would fail to do much more than raise an alarm here. She stepped back slightly and pulled a medium-sized scroll from her utility belt. As her hands absentmindedly unfurled the scroll, her wary eyes scrutinized the entire length of the partition more extensively, turning her head from side to side to compare the walls at either side of the door. An eyebrow suddenly lifted in curiosity; the disparity in chakra between the facades on either side of the door was too great. She began walking slowly to the left of the door—the weaker half—a hand lightly cloaked in chakra running delicately along the wood. Perturbed, Sakura paused and bent to examine a particularly anomalous spot more thoroughly. Her hand searched the sliver of weak chakra running down the length of the wall. Visible chakra then abruptly faded from the surface of her hand. A fist clenched tightly against the oak paneled wall.

Someone had tried to break into the room.

OOO

Realizing that his eyes were dry and tight from reading so much for so long, Shikamaru dropped his pen and raised his arms in a much-needed stretch. The kinks in his neck and lower back were next. Muting a sigh of relief, he sank back into his chair and closed his eyes slowly.

He was tired.

Almost unbelievably so. He moved his head to look at the whiskered portrait grinning down from the wall.

How did you manage this job so vivaciously?

Why'd you leave it to me so soon?

Naruto just smiled at him. Sighing, he rummaged in his empty pockets and then the drawers of his desk for a cigarette. Half-full pack successfully grasped in one hand, he shook one into the palm of his other. He almost had the cigarette to his lips, but…

He slapped the cigarette and cigarette pack onto his desk in frustration and picked up his pen, ready to do more work. But, his inked brush didn't move much farther and both his hands stayed latent on his desk.

He just didn't feel like anything. He rubbed his forehead tiredly and pressed his hand into his eyes. The hand soon became the support for his suddenly too heavy head.

_Naruto and Kiba were already moving ahead with Naruto's personal platoon of eight ANBU. But he lagged behind, shadowed behind the gate, almost reluctant to take another step closer into the mess he was sure they were walking right into. Outwardly, he was calm, cool, unfettered. But the hand so casually hidden in his pocket was nervously opening and closing the lid of his lighter. There was something so unsettlingly not right about the journey they were embarking on. And the two people Naruto trusted most—himself and Sakura—had failed miserably in trying to get Naruto to see that. The slight breeze carried tendrils of hair that'd escaped from his ponytail forward onto his forehead. _

_How? _

_He frowned._

_How could they have failed?_

_Kami… How could Sakura have failed?_

_He stared hard at Naruto's back, as it gradually diminished into a strain of the eyes. _

_Beside him, Hinata waved earnestly at Naruto, who had turned around once more to bid his fiancé 'goodbye' with an exuberant smile. Both of his arms stretched forward, his hands wrapping into earnest thumbs-up. Hinata clasped her hands over her mouth in a giggle. Naruto then waved his hand frantically at him—he wanted him to hurry. He raised his own hand and waved it mockingly. He saw Naruto laugh, though he was too far away to hear the boisterous and raucous sound. _

_His hand slowly returned to his side. _

…_We're going in the wrong direction._

"_Shikamaru-kun, is there something you forgot?" Shikamaru turned briefly to look at Hinata's wide, opalescent eyes. "If you'd like, would you like me to help get it for you?" the Hyuuga heiress asked in her musically soft-spoken voice. He turned to her with a half-hearted grin. "Nah, I'm good. I just need to do something. I'll catch up with Loudmouth over there later," he explained, gesturing to the blonde prancing a couple hundred feet away. Hinata's delicate eyebrows knitted in confusion. "The mission…?" she asked tentatively. Shikamaru nodded, "Yeah, he already knows that I'll be lagging behind." Hinata nodded understandingly. _

_Although he remained facing Hinata, his attention was suddenly drawn to the recently revealed chakra signature a couple of yards behind him. _

"_Hinata."_

"_Yes?"_

"_Maybe you should head back. I'll take care of the idiot. Don't worry," he said reassuringly, painstakingly keeping the anxiousness out of his voice. _

_Hinata, Kami bless her, got the idea. "Of course. Thank you very much, Shikamaru-kun. Return safely," she replied with a smile. Shikamaru waited until her back had receded a good distance before he turned around and began walking quickly in the other direction. He hurriedly entered an alley to the side of the gate. It was cloaked in shadow and easily looked over. She was waiting for him there. _

_Finally catching up to her, he breathed, "Hey." _

_She peeled herself from the wall, shadows releasing her bit by bit. Her eyes rose at the last minute. _

_Kami. _

"_Hi," she said weakly, as if that one word had taken all her strength to say. _

_He tried to recover from the shock of seeing her like this… She was usually so elegant and neat. At the moment, she looked like she got run over by a cart. And she knew it, probably because of his reaction to seeing her with unkempt and unbrushed hair, a dirty and bloody labcoat, sallow skin, and heavy bruising under her listless eyes. She self-consciously ran a hand through her greasy ponytail, pushing stray strands away from her face. She then looked at him, her gaze telling, so clear, even at her worst. _

"_You couldn't convince him to stay." _

_It wasn't a question. She usually didn't have many. _

_He shook his head dejectedly, unable to keep her gaze. He focused on his toes peeking out from his sandals. And then, her toes peeking out from her heels. If only she didn't have to look like that when she said it. He wouldn't have to feel this. _

"_Don't look like that," she suddenly laughed. Her small hand reached out and flicked his nose playfully. "There's nothing for you to feel guilty about. You did the best you could." He looked up at her in surprise, and wryly observed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She fiddled with her dirty labcoat. _Maybe, if he stayed with her all the time, she'd be forced to act just like this—forced to keep it all away—and it'd eventually disappear._ She brushed the coat out more vigorously and explained half-heartedly, "Four emergency operations in a row. Long night." She sighed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand, saying tiredly, "Iwa's hitting us hard."_

No, it wouldn't work. She'd be destroyed from the inside out._ His gut burned, like it usually did nowadays when he thought about her. Her own team was killing her. He thought of Ino and Chouji… Your team members were supposed to take care of you, at least protect you. _

_Sakura was now exploring the contents of her pockets. She noticed Shikamaru's puzzled expression and said with an embarrassed smile, "It's not my coat. I just grabbed it from a hook on the wall before I went into surgery." She suddenly laughed, "Jeez, I didn't know we had such a sweet-toothed doctor on our staff," and proceeded to dump out in amusement the many empty candy wrappers littering the lab coat's pockets. _She'd certainly taken care of them, or at least tried to her entire life._ And this—she gave up on the coat and peeled it off, dumping it into a nearby trash bin—was all she got in return. _

_She sighed and fiddled with her loose black standard jounin shirt. He noticed that she'd stopped wearing red some time ago. He'd never thought to ask her why._

"_You need to take care of yourself too, Shikamaru."_

_His complete attention refocused on her warm beryl gaze. _

"_This week you have to be the eyes—," she paused for a moment to think, "And brain of Naruto, but remember to take care of yourself. Sasuke is…" She broke off, eyes scanning the ground as if it held the word she was looking for—"Unforgiving. Cold. And extremely unpredictable." _

_Shikamaru frowned. Ever since the stream of letters Sasuke began sending Naruto, it was clear that the Uchiha was trying to convince the convincingly-illiterate dotard that ever since his assuming the position of Onkyoukage, he'd become a reformed man, one who wanted to be worthy of being held in the same esteem as Naruto and Gaara. There was also a bunch of fluff that had caused Naruto to tear more than once, but Shikamaru, watching Naruto carefully, hadn't been won over. And surprisingly, neither was Sakura. _

_Their joint suspicions were never voiced, but confirmed when Sasuke proposed that Naruto visit Oto for a peace convention, in which the Hokage could aid the Onkyoukage in protecting his people. Food shortages had apparently been rampant, as well as crime rates. This and everything else was enough for Naruto to be convinced that a peace convention, with only the requested—on Sasuke's part—small party of ANBU to accompany him, would be the best thing that had happened to him since Sasuke had left Konoha. And what was Sasuke's reasoning behind suggesting only a limited entourage for Naruto? He didn't want any Oto civilians intimidated by a large presence of Konoha-nins. _

_Really. _

_Not even when Sakura had shown him ANBU reports of increased military armament despite the poor conditions of Oto civilians did his confidence in Sasuke's path to atonement shake. Nor when he showed Naruto reports of increased communications between Iwa and Oto (which was convenient, because they were at war with Iwa), did Naruto so much as waver. And the last straw, the reports that had him walking out of Naruto's office, utterly sick of his job as Hokage's advisor, were of murdered Konoha shinobi and civilians who were stationed or lived on the border conjoining Konoha to Oto. Forensics had identified on some corpses the telltale effects of Oto-specific kekkai genkais. Naruto assured him that this only further showed Konoha's need to aid Oto. _

_And after their alleged separation, things just went from bad to worse between Naruto and Sakura. When Sakura had gone behind Naruto's back and established patrols along the border of Oto and Konoha, Naruto had fired her from her position as assistant to the Hokage. When she'd left for the border, directly disobeying his orders, in order to patrol the area herself, Naruto had sent a team to bring her back and subsequently imprisoned her for two weeks. He then suspended her from active duty and limited her activities to the hospital. Each time Naruto apprehended her, he sent one of his faceless ANBU to inform Sakura of his orders. Even when he had locked her in a jail cell, draining her chakra for days on end, gracing her with a glimpse of his face was apparently too courteous for her. _

_Still, whenever he found the time to visit her behind Naruto's back, at the hospital, her apartment or her jail cell, she had a smile for him and hopeful resolve in her voice. She'd make things right, she assured him. She was positive that Naruto would come through eventually. _

_All of that, however, and Naruto still didn't get that it wasn't just a matter between the members of the ill-fated Team 7 anymore. This had become a matter of Konoha's national security. _

_Shikamaru started and gave her a quizzical look as she stepped closer to him. All she did, though, was place a small hand gently on his arm._

"_Be careful," she said softly. _

_Shikamaru sighed and nodded. "I'll send shadow breaks to you every 5 hours. That'll be a sign that we're okay." He demonstrated the technique, pulling his hands into a Rooster seal and focusing on his dark silhouette. A bit of the inky darkness peeled away from his form and shot towards Sakura's heeled feet, moving over the graveled ground with ease. Curious and a little more than delighted, she bent down to take a closer look at the dark blot quivering by her toes. Tentatively, she poked at it, but let out a small cry in surprise when it proceeded to wrap around her finger. She straightened, still peering at the darkness that was her finger, a smile growing steadily on her face. _

_The smile disappeared as quickly as it had come. "And what if you're not," she asked, still playing with the shadow that now moved over her hand. _

_Shikamaru released the seal and the shadow fell away from her now uniformly pale skin. "Then you won't be getting one of these. And you need to help us." She was quiet, her face tinged with worry and dread as her eyes searched his anxiously. _

"_And you're sure Sasuke has no idea that you're all leaving now?" _

"_Positive. There's no way he could possibly know. Naruto agreed to cover his signature along the way. He must want to check how the Oto civilians are doing incognito."_

_Sakura nodded hesitantly. She reached out impulsively to fiddle with his vest nervously before she tightened her lips and gave him a little push. "You should be off then," she said faintly. She managed to give him another one of her encouraging smiles. He nodded and turned to leave, his footfalls indicative of his misgivings about going any farther from where he was right now. He turned for one last glance at her before he disappeared around the corner. She stood there, hands dug deep into her jounin issue pants, emerald eyes gazing after him, a frown marring a porcelain face tired enough to start surrendering to her more less-than-pleasant thoughts. He raised a hand in farewell before she was lost from sight. _

_(I'll come back. I'll bring him back.) _

_He still felt her chakra signature lingering there…_

_(I promise.) _

Shikamaru kept staring at the incomplete papers before him, until he noticed his idle pen dripping ink into a sizeable pool on his varnished desk. Cursing, he wiped frantically at the mess before giving up and hiding it under a sheaf of finished reports. Leaning back in his chair, he swiveled around to prop his legs against the sill of the window behind him. All he saw was his reflection mocking him from the darkness of the glass.

She should've gotten what she needed successfully by now… He glanced at his desk clock.

What was taking her?

OOO

Her hands were still shaking as she quickly sealed the files she needed into a summoning scroll. Scowling in frustration and muted anger, she scratched at her neck as she double-checked the files she'd taken: Naruto's mission to Oto and her subsequent mission to Oto, which she herself had filed in a rush. Quickly, she stood, storing the scroll in her hip pouch.

Checking her surroundings, she tried to steady her breathing. She was off schedule and deprived of a lot more chakra than she'd expected. Sakura hated to admit it, but getting caught was the only thing missing from this less-than-perfect infiltration. She'd spent twenty extra minutes searching the surrounding area for any definite clues to the person's identity. There was nothing. At least, there was nothing she could see definitively with a green glow-stick the size of a measly popsicle. She'd ask Shikamaru to canvas the area later. But, she was still able to deduce from the lack of dust and footprints in that particular space that the intruder had the foresight to clean up after himself or herself. And he or she had a substantial amount of chakra control. The only thing that had successfully thwarted his or her efforts was the lack of knowledge of the chakra barrier's inner workings. Sakura herself knew that the only thing that allowed her to infiltrate the S-rank archives were her previous studies of it—that and a pre-prepared seal she had written specifically on a scroll for this mission. After she'd used the break in the chakra barrier to make easier her own infiltration and exit, she'd have to spend at least twenty more minutes resealing the break the last trespasser had inflicted. Her teeth gritted in exasperation. With her notorious lack of patience, nothing good could come out of her lingering here.

Exactly twenty-eight minutes later, as she ran for the main entrance to the archives, sweating profusely, she also concluded that the intruder must not be anyone who was already cleared access to the files or working for someone who was. She frowned—but that rules out the elders as well. Sakura suddenly skidded to a stop. She backtracked a few steps and turned a corner to head down another hallway. She'd almost forgotten one other important piece of information.

As she reached these particular shelves, she couldn't help a light sneeze. The shelves were certainly dusty from being undisturbed for so long, so dust was more a live being than a coating in this particular section of the archives. She retrieved her glow-stick from her hip pouch and gave it a quick shake. Her head alternately lifting and then dipping down, she hurriedly read the names on the labels before she found what she was looking for. In the bottommost cubby, a lightly bound book rested. Offhand, she noticed that there was less dust in this area than all the others, as if the book had been used frequently some relatively recent time ago. She pushed it from her mind. As the book was small, she merely dropped it into her hip pouch along with her glow-stick.

There were newer and more up-to-date copies of these files in a separate and more-easily accessed room in the Hokage Tower, but the caretaker of those was particularly sharp and would notice any file missing. More importantly, shinobi had to sign in their names to read any particular file, and that would not be helpful to her at all.

Feeling its extra weight, she concluded that it should prove to be an interesting read. As she ran towards the doors again, she wondered whether or not anything had been added since she pored over it as a blossoming teenager still suffering from an unrequited and impossible love. Would she now be able to see any secrets within that would help her defeat him? Because, the last time she'd read it, Uchiha Sasuke's bingo book hadn't been very helpful.

OOO

The guard staff members watching over the hospital filing room were certainly very sleepy. Sakura eyed them dryly through the window. Given, it was very late, but a job was a job. She sighed as her fingers folded into a Horse seal. A small explosion seal was set off in a hallway relatively far from her chosen entrance point. As the two male guards started, looked at each other in confusion and worry, rushed out of their chairs, and out the door, Sakura carefully undid the lock to the window with a thin screwdriver. She was so strained from using an inordinate amount chakra to get into and out of the mission archives, that she was now heartily resorting to conventional means of infiltration. Sure, she looked like a fool, picking at a window with a thin metal stick while dressed like a person capable of much more, but she'd unexpectedly had to evade two sets of guards who'd strolled into the archives before she could leave, sent there by the Hokage to retrieve certain files, but more so to check if she was still there (this latter clause unbeknownst to them, of course). She grumbled as she fiddled with the lock more. Sure, she appreciated Shikamaru's concern, but if he could just show it in less cumbersome ways, she would've been relieved of quite a few grievances, such as having to knock out six shinobi altogether. Thank Kami the last four used the stairway from within the Hokage Tower, instead of being surprised by the two drooling messes she'd entranced earlier. She would have been dropped into a much more complicated situation.

Sakura's tongue poised delicately between her teeth in concentration. There! Finally, the lock came undone with a slight squeal. The pane opened easily and Sakura slipped through like a rogue shadow. This part of her investigation will be easier, as she knew the layout of the hospital archives like the back of her hand. She glanced at the gloved darkness that was her hand at the moment…

Well, it was just an expression. Although she could remember a scar on her right hand… Or was that her left?

She slid open the door carefully and shut it behind her just as quickly. There was much less security taken into consideration for these files, as broken bones and bruises weren't as much the main focus for the higher-ups than what those injuries were caused for and by. She took a few deep breaths. The air was lighter here, as was the lighting. She strolled through the shelves, completely in her comfort zone. It was a little ironic, she concluded, that in such a stressful environment like a hospital she found an outlet for her worries and a subsequent sanctuary for peace.

Sakura stopped before the thick file labeled, 'Haruno, Sakura.' Files in these archives were organized by name, and within, separate hospital visits of the person in question were organized by date. As she hefted the thick sheaf of papers, barely held together by the flimsy manila folder, away from the shelf, she resolved to get injured less in the future. Or at least heal herself before she was admitted in the first place. Look how much paper she was wasting! She kneeled and spread the file on the floor, flipping through each hospital record sheet for that particular date, that particular week. Her fingers ceased their quick motions once they touched a separate manila folder. So, she thought dryly, that week had its own portfolio.

She separated it quickly from the rest, tucked it under her arm, and heaved the folder back into its place on the shelf. For the next ten minutes, she hurriedly, almost methodically, retrieved the files of everyone who had returned from that fateful mission and had been treated at the hospital. She leaned against a wall as she ticked off the records, a finger flipping through the pages: her, Shikamaru, Ino, Chouji, Kiba, Neji, Rock Lee, and the platoon of six ANBU she had taken with her when she'd left for Oto. As she sealed the files away in another summoning scroll, she contemplated hitting the morgue to peruse the autopsies of those who'd perished in the fight, mainly the ANBU who'd accompanied Naruto. She chewed her lip as she stood still for a moment. Sakura then made for the door. It wasn't a superfluous effort, she decided. If they had been killed that easily and that early, they might have known too much.

OOO

Her visit to the basement—the abode of the morgue—was rewarded with convenience. The autopsies of the eight ANBU who had been killed were all stashed together in a single file. Her relief was short-lived. If the eight men and women who'd died in the fight were subject to autopsies, why not the Hokage? She tucked the summoning scroll back into her waist pouch. Was it because everyone saw how he died and felt an autopsy was unnecessary?

If Sasuke hadn't warned them of his keeping Naruto, would any of these anomalies have been questioned?

She shook her head as she escaped back into the night. She only had a few hours left before the sun rose. She had one more stop to make…

_She ran, the cold air chilling her throat and the rain pelting down, gripping her skin into ice. Where was he? _

"_Naruto!" she called, hopefully loud enough for him to hear, although she was trying to keep her volume down for the convenience of those slumbering at this ungodly hour. She called out his name again, the mud turning her sandals into pockets of slush. She couldn't feel her toes anymore. They were just green nail polish emblazoned digits poking out of the grit and wet-packed dirt that was now her feet. _

"_Naruto!" She stopped short, pausing to catch her breath. Her sides were heaving. She'd been looking for him for hours, traversing through all of Konoha, stopping by all his favorite hangouts. Where else could he be?_

_Eyebrows furrowed. Maybe…?_

_She set off at a quicker pace. The cemetery wasn't too far ahead. _

_She called his name once more. It was cut off halfway, once she spotted the shock of blond hair so distinct from the rest of the green and gray gloom surrounding them. She ran quicker, her hair long abandoned of its tie and flipping behind her in a crazed tangle. She slowed once she neared his kneeling figure, planted so firmly in front of Jiraiya-sama's small monument stone. He shifted, and she saw an exceptionally large sake bottle swing loosely from his hand. His Hokage robe was a sodden mess. Back to her, he was swaying, alternating between sobs and chuckles. He took another swig but turned around slightly, lips still attached to the mouth of the bottle. A bleary and bloodshot blue eye caught her hesitant figure and blinked. He turned back to the gravestone, a hand reaching out to sluggishly cover the etched kanji of his former shishou's name._

_Words escaped her. She didn't know what to say. _

"_It's the… anniversary," he hiccupped, "Of Ero-sennin's…" He didn't finish. The hand gripping the gravestone peeled away leaving a trail of grime in its wake. Unaware of the dirt now blurring Jiraiya-sama's name, he wiped his mouth clumsily. _

_She took a step forward, heart in her throat… Her throat hurt. Once she reached his side, she immediately turned to wrap her arms around his shoulders, head bent so her chin rested on his sopping wet hair. The sake bottle fell from his hand to the grass with a muted splash, as his hands wrapped around her waist tightly, his head burying into the crook of her neck. _

"_I still… feel so alone… sometimes," he mumbled into her clavicle. _

"_Then I'll make a promise of a lifetime," she whispered. His breath was warm against her cold skin. "To do whatever it takes for you to never feel like that again." He muffled a sob against her throat while his arms tightened. _

_Rain was now pouring down on them harder than ever. And yet, she didn't want to let go._

_She couldn't. _

_(You promised…)_

The hawks merely shuffled their feathers in her unobtrusive entrance through the window. Maybe they thought she was just a larger, balder hawk. She quickly stole past their musty room to the suite adjacent to theirs. It housed a written database of the dates that all messages had been received and sent by hawk. Sakura knew the most efficient, probably preferred and sure way for the elders and Sasuke to communicate would be through a middleman or woman, but she needed to double check.

The room, at this time of night, was advantageously empty and what staff available was stationed in the watchtower above the hawk rookery. It was safe to say that she would be undisturbed in her examination of their records. She opened the door cautiously and slipped in. The lights were inconveniently off, and at this time of night, she didn't dare turn them on, as it would immediately attract unwanted attention. She opted for her glow-stick. Shaking it vigorously as she made her way down the bookshelves, she peered at the paper labels plastering the spines of the thousands of binders in the room. Sakura sighed. They were organized by date and therefore would take many hours to peruse. She braced her forehead against the palms of her hands, rubbing out as much exasperation as possible. Emerald eyes shot open and her two hands folded into an all-too-heartbreakingly-familiar sign.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" she whispered.

"_Sakura-chan."_

_Her eyes remained unblinking, seeing nothing and everything as she lay there on her side, facing the wall. _

"_Sakura-chan," he kept saying incessantly. _

_The bed dipped where he sat and a warm hand wrapped around her exposed shoulder. He shook it gently. _

"_Sakura-chan, you need to eat something." _

_Her lips moved slightly. She tried to say, 'Yes,' or 'No,' anything, anything at all, but the strength to speak escaped her. However, she somehow turned over to look at him, the sheets crinkling in protest at the unusual movement. She all but collapsed back into her pillows. _

_He was studying her so intently, with such care, so much worry… She felt so guilty for taking it all and giving nothing back. He was already wiping away the tears straying down her temples before she even knew she was crying. _

_But now, she was all too aware of her face breaking. _

"_I could've saved her," she whispered through dry lips. _

_His hand stroked her hair away from face, before resting lightly on her cheek. "You didn't know," he assured her. _

_She felt her eyes shut in denial and she pushed herself closer to his warmth. Her hands moved from their latent state at her sides to clasp his. _

"_Ino and Tsunade-baba are coming by later. They've been wanting to see you." _

_She stiffened. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want anyone else to see her like this. Her hands tightened around his. _

"_I'm positive," he said softly, "Your mother wouldn't want you to think that she blamed you for anything. She loved you so much." She could hear a tinge of desperation in his voice, though. He thought she wouldn't believe him._

_He was right._

_She said nothing. _

_But, did it matter? _

_She needed to live right? (She studied his face.) Right? _

_Suddenly, much to Naruto's surprise, she sat up, staring at the palms of her hands. She ignored the groan of her muscles as they were forced to move so swiftly without warning. Naruto stayed silent, merely putting a supportive hand at the small of her back. Blinking sadly, and then thoughtfully at her hands, she looked up to the wall ahead of her, and then at Naruto. She gave him a tired smile and, as expected, he flashed her one of his brightest grins. _

_It was about time she got up anyway… _

_She shifted, intent on making it out of the hovel of her bed, a place she didn't dare leave for the week after her mother's funeral. Only Naruto had stopped by frequently. Though, to be honest, he was the only person she knew stopped by, as he was the only one she got out of bed for, in order to let him into the apartment. The doorbell had been rung by others if she remembered correctly, but she just… She just couldn't… _

_He gave her space as she tested her legs. Her hand reached out waveringly. He was there, his steady hand assured her. Her knees definitely felt strange and she would definitely have to warm up before working with her chakra. Sakura tentatively tried a couple of deep breaths. She looked down at her wrinkled and musty tank top and pajama bottoms. She desperately needed to clean up. _

_She turned to Naruto. He waited. _

"_When I get tidied up," she began. The corners of Naruto's eyes began crinkling. _

"_Would you mind taking me out to eat?" _

_Her ears and heart rang with his laughter. _

She rubbed her forehead impatiently. She'd chosen a relatively limited time span, between Sasuke's assumption of his throne to Naruto's mission to Oto, but even using three kage bunshins was taking too long. So far, out of the years she studied, she'd found only four instances when a messenger hawk had been sent to the elders, each conveniently by an anonymous sender. The elders themselves, however, never sent anything out, at least, not under their name. She yanked down her hood and eye sash to rub her eyes and run a hand over her hair in frustration. It was getting uncomfortably warm in the suit. She stared down at the binder she was currently perusing and shut it with a snap. The evidence she just wasted three hours on was weak at best.

"Thanks, guys," she told her bunshins weakly. They merely nodded and smiled before she dispersed them.

Sakura stretched out a kink in her leg before moving for the door, hood and eye sash now securely in place. As she crept through the hall and back towards the hawk menagerie, she caught glimpses of early sunlight glimmering through the windowpanes. The beginning of the sun's warmth and light hit her fully when she finally reached the open entrance. Bidding the resting hawks, 'good morning,' with a small salute, she balanced on the window ledge.

As she leapt from the sill, a newborn morning breeze wrapped around her moving form. For a moment, all she had to focus on was breathing. That, in itself, was a moment of much-needed relaxation…

_All of Konoha was spread out before them. The setting sun was attracting the start of the village's nightlife and one-by-one, street lanterns winked into fruition, a mimicry of stars. She walked towards his sitting form slowly, unsure if he was meditating. She was also wary for other reasons—their argument last night had left a bitter taste in her mouth, and she didn't want to exacerbate that or his anger any further. _

_At this high altitude, the wind was another being: joyful, exuberant, and full of life. It played with Naruto's shaggy hair, his bangs vacillating against his forehead. As she sat near him carefully, the wind brushed out the tails of her coat for her. Settling down was a different story, however; she had to fidget a little, for her scarlet qipao dress was a little more dangerously unruly than her coat. Finally at peace with her clothes, she closed her eyes and breathed in the fresher air. If only it wasn't so cold, she'd peel off her boots and let the breeze play with her feet. _

_As the minutes stretched on, she had to be honest with herself. Their silence wasn't a comfortable one. She waited for him to speak, because her mind drew a blank at how to ease this tension between them without lying to herself or him. Everything she had told him last night was her honest and unshakeable opinion. If those had offended him, she didn't really have much else to say, besides apologetic concessions to the disparity in their beliefs. _

_Couldn't they just agree to disagree? Must he be so stubborn about everything? Must everyone think the way he does? _

'_How was your day?' His face remained placid as the words oh-so-grudgingly peeled from his mind to hers. She turned to look at his tightly drawn face. His eyes stayed closed as well._

_The corners of her lips rose half-heartedly at his stony face. 'Relatively uneventful, thank you for asking. What about you?'_

'_Relatively busy.' His face still gave nothing away, although she could've sworn she heard the slightest of grins hidden within his voice._

'_That suits you,' she acquiesced. He cracked one eye open to give her a coy, self-satisfied squint. She rested her chin on her hand, not bothering to hide her relieved smile. 'You cause less trouble that way,' she teased. Surrendering, he sighed and opened both eyes and looked at her with a mixture of exasperation and warmth. _

'_You win, you win.' _

_She smiled in triumph. Naruto pursed his lips at her, saying grudgingly out loud, "You always need a one-up on me, don't you, Mucus-Breath?" She couldn't help but let out an incredulous laugh. Ever since she achieved a contract with the slugs, he'd been taunting her with the more unpleasant characteristics of the underestimated mollusks, however childish the pet names were. If he went too far, however, or if her frog-taunts ran dry, he'd usually just wake up the next morning in a bed of happy, slimy slugs. _

_She impulsively reached for one of the hands resting in his lap, while turning to face the village. Her heart settled into a familiar state of buoyancy when his fingers tightened around hers. _

"_It's times like these when I really miss my old man," he suddenly said, patting the top of the stone-carved head he was conveniently perched on. She couldn't see him, but she knew his expression was growing grimmer. "Sometimes," he admitted quietly, "I wish I could still enter an Eight-Tailed cloak so that I could talk to him again. Or fight the Kyuubi so I could see my mom again. But Kurama gets grumpy when I ask about her." He gave his stomach a little miffed glare before leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, so that he could wrap both hands around Sakura's. _

_She turned just in time to see his lips curve downward into a sad frown. He spread out Sakura's hand against his. The difference in size was a good two inches. He rewrapped his hands around hers and stared out at Konoha._

_She reached out to tuck an extra-long strand of wayward hair behind his ear. "They're both so proud of you," she said gently. As expected, Naruto grinned. "It's wonderful that you had the chance to see both of them," she finished, giving his hand a squeeze. He grinned and shook his head. But then he suddenly tilted his head curiously towards Sakura. "What about you and your dad?" he asked tentatively._

_It was an old wound. She shrugged her shoulders a tad. _

"_I had my mom," she said simply. Naruto didn't press further. He chose to laugh nervously, "Your mom was terrifying." _

"_Really?" she asked, genuinely surprised. "It didn't seem like you were scared of her. Why didn't you tell me?" _

"_Well, she was terrifying in a similar way to how you are terrifying."_

_She raised an eyebrow dangerously. "Explain, please?" Her mind was suddenly awash with gratifying images of Naruto's face being added to the monument through less conventional means. _

_He pointed at her fervently, "See! Like that! Terrifying like that!" Apparently, she hadn't hid those images very well. He then scratched his chin, mumbling inquisitively, "Except she didn't seem as violent as you." _

"_Oh, just let it go, you hairy Toad," she grumbled, swatting his arm lightly. She took a moment to look at the sky. A weak moon was just starting to become visible. But the horizon was still washed in dusk. It'd be some time before the stars came out. _

"_It's just us, now, huh?" _

_She glanced at him curiously, just to notice that his gaze was fixed sadly a little to their left, on the slope of carved rock that signified the top of the Godaime Hokage's monument. She decided to not look the same way. The death of her shishou still felt like barely-formed thin ice._

_She took a deep breath and said, "No." Naruto refocused on her. She met his stare. _

"_There's Kakashi. And Sai, the rat bastard. Tenzo-taichou, Shikamaru, Neji, Rock Lee, Ino, TenTen, Kiba, Hinata, Shino…" she trailed off lightly. She tilted her head and peered at him mischievously. "I don't need to keep going, right?" He gave her a smile, albeit a bittersweet one._

"_And then there's us," she said lightheartedly, with a little poke to his gut. _

_His eyes flickered a tad. "Yes," he said softly. "There's always us." She smiled in agreement and tilted her head back to look for any stars. As she was just about to point out a barely-formed constellation… _

'_What would he have to do to convince you?' _

_Sakura's lips tightened and her eyes closed momentarily. It was clear to her why he chose not to voice this particular question. Ever since those letters started arriving… Her head growled… Naruto had brought the unpleasant topic of Sasuke into every conversation more times within a week than he ever had during all the years since Sasuke abandoned Konoha. _

'_A lot. And knowing him, he's not up for it because he just doesn't care to,' she responded tightly. She felt his mood darken. Over the years, their telepathic jutsu had made each other privy to more than just their thoughts. _

_His hands peeled away from hers to "fix his boot." She knew better. Her hand, suddenly empty, played with the fingernails of her other hand to save face. _

'_Don't you think you're giving up on him too easily?' She felt the muscles in his shoulders become excessively strained, although she honestly felt more entitled to letting him now how uncomfortable she felt as felt his telepathic message scratched the insides of her head._

'_I didn't give up on him. I just let him go.' Her lips were a tight thin line when she sent him that though. _

_When he didn't seem to respond, she decided a more confrontational approach was necessary. His mind was being excessively reticent with her today. Turning to Naruto with a frown and a tightly controlled voice she said, "And I let him go a long time ago." _

"_He's our friend," he appealed to her, his overtly strained voice cutting the air, eyes unabashedly pleading. "We have an obligation to not—"_

"_He _was_ our friend. But that Sasuke, the Sasuke we were 'friends' with… He died years ago," she forced through gritted teeth and a much-suppressed temper. How much longer must she repeat those words, this conversation? She couldn't take this anymore, at least for tonight. She stood abruptly and dusted off her coat. _

'_You're leaving me alone in this. Out of everyone, I wanted you to be the one to say you believed me—believed in me believing in him,' he sent her, his lips sealed tightly as his taut face stared out towards the horizon. _

_Not knowing what else to do, what else to say, she turned away dejectedly. Her fading footfalls were her apology, her long hair whipping behind her furiously—magenta tendrils desperate to hold on to him. _

'_I'm sorry, Naruto.' _

She sighed in relief as she finally reached home. It shouldn't have been that difficult of a mission, but the muscles between her shoulder blades and the tendons in her calves were especially sore. Sliding the window shut behind her, she quickly made for her couch. After unbuckling and peeling away her utility belt, she collapsed onto her warm and splendidly soft cushions. She all but ripped off her mask and hood as her muscles thanked her repeatedly.

For a few moments she lay there, legs and arms sprawled out haphazardly from her stiffly still torso. Sakura blindly stared at the ceiling, unwilling to turn on the lights. That would require her to get up and moving. After a few minutes, her attention turned towards the hip pouch innocently waiting for her on her coffee table.

Girl can't get a break, can she?

Groaning, she sat up and grabbed the leather satchel. She paused, though, and suddenly stood, firmly heading for the light switch. When her apartment was suddenly and satisfyingly brighter, she made for her bedroom. This sweaty, stinky suit needed to come off _now_. As much as she relied on her intelligence and cunning to win her battles, infiltration was not her forte—it was too much of a tense, psychological battle. Her feminine wiles had their limits.

Popping into her bathroom for a quick shower, she made sure the burning hot water attacked her shoulder blades. She was almost brought to her knees in relief as the water smoothed away the kinks. She was too tired and too lazy to loosen them with chakra. An old bunny-printed towel from her childhood was wrapped securely under her arms and her figure emerged cloaked in the steam misting from her bathroom in waves. Grabbing a second, significantly more normal, solid-colored towel to dry off her hair, she perused her closet and drawers for something to wear. Sure, she had lots of beautiful clothes, but she never really felt like wearing them anymore. Retrieved from a corner of one of her drawers, she held up a beautifully light, ivory silk kimono top.

She remembered wearing it on their fourth official date.

Sakura shook her head. For whom and for what did she have to look nice for anyway? She stuffed it back into the drawer, bumping it shut with a quick shove from her hip. She opened the drawer below it. Now this, she felt, was much more pragmatic.

She came out from her bedroom a few moments later, still toweling her long hair. The dratted mop took hours to dry. Now bedecked in a standard-fit navy blue jounin long-sleeved shirt, loose black jounin pants, and socks decorated with knitted sashimi and sushi, she comfortably made her way to the kitchen.

After a few moments rummaging around her stove and cupboards, she made for her living room. Mug full of deliciously warm green tea in hand, she walked slowly to her window. It was a full-blown morning now. Her shoulders sagged. If she wanted to make it through the day, she really should pop a soldier pill. There seemed to be no time for sleep. She thought for an extra moment.

It's not like she wanted to either.

She returned to her couch, setting her mug down and dragging the coffee table closer to her legs. She rummaged through the pouch now, retrieving all the summoning scrolls she'd used while shoving that one bingo book an extra couple of inches away. After spreading the small rolls of paper out, with a little bit of chakra and a puff of smoke, all the files she needed popped into existence. Fanning away excess smoke with one hand, she shuffled through the papers with the other. Looking at the files objectively, all spread out before her, she realized that she might indeed need to take a nap before attacking the information hidden within these documents. One quick power nap wouldn't hurt. Sakura made to settle back…

There was no knock, no chakra signature, no warning, no other sound to foreshadow what happened next. In one moment she was sitting comfortably on her couch, getting ready to sleep, the next, she was being unceremoniously dragged out into the hall. Too quickly for her sleep-deprived and exhausted consciousness to comprehend, her sushi-socked feet were stuffed into her waiting boots and a blond ponytail kept—unintentionally, she prayed, for the intruder's sake—hitting her multiple times in the face. In her eagerness, the trespasser forgot, or just ignored, all the usual prerequisites for greeting someone in the morning and taking them out to breakfast.

With a heavy arm slung over her shoulders and a shrill voice preparing itself for a nonstop tirade into her poor ringing ear, Sakura realized that yes, she really appreciated having Ino as a friend.

OOO

The tank was the only bright object in the room, slung in shadows that welcomed the eerie green glow shifting from the contents of the glass cylinder. With all the tubes and pipes swinging from and into the clear contraption, it seemed like a living, waiting predator, brooding in the dark… But for the two silhouettes blocking some of its light.

Kabuto shifted some dials on the control board connected to the tank. With an unsettling groan, more green liquid sloshed into the tank from one of the pipes it was connected to. He glanced surreptitiously to his right, to the tall figure standing there, arms crossed over his chest, mirroring the tank with the brooding atmosphere he projected. Sasuke normally sported a toneless expression, but at this moment, his eyes looked a little more strained than usual, as they glared at the tank. Or, rather, glared into the tank, at the unconscious man suspended within the thick green fluid. Two buckled restraints around his ankles maintained his lifeless position within the medium, but an IV drip into his arm and an air mask covering his nose and mouth maintained his life.

"You don't have to stay for the entire procedure, Sasuke-sama," the bespeckled older man suggested, although the tone of his voice made clear that Sasuke's current countenance was very much amusing and therefore his further presence would be very much appreciated.

Sasuke didn't say a word. But he turned on his heel and exited the chamber, making sure to slam the stone door behind with an ominous thud. His sudden departure caused him to miss the orange-red, pustule-ridden chakra that began to bubble every so lightly from the imprisoned subject's skin. The man's eyes shot open before scrunching in pain, his scream marred by his breathing tube. He thrashed violently, upsetting the green water that was suffocating him. Reaching out blindly, he felt the glass in terror. 'Typical,' Kabuto mused as the subject proceeded to pound against the seven-inch-thick glass with weak fists.

Kabuto flicked another switch. The IV tube was now awash in more than just substitutive nutrients. The man's painful movements ceased, but his cerulean blue eyes remained open, unseeing.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

As she reentered her apartment after an extremely diverting, if not entirely pleasant, breakfast outing with Ino, Sakura noticed how much lighter she felt, how much more amused with the world she was. It was easy to get mired in her past and how helpless and alone she felt now. Who knew that a simple meal out with a good, trustworthy friend could be such an immediate relief to that stagnancy? Although, she had to admit, slumping down into the recesses of her couch, Ino knew exactly what to ask to help sort out reason from emotion in such a way that didn't leave her crawling to hide beneath a chair. But still, however painless Ino unconsciously makes the procedure, there was nothing more humorless and humbling than being forced to prioritize certain aspects of her life.

Her comforting view of the ceiling was broken only by the blinks she felt were unnecessary, though her lids begged to differ. For a few more moments she sat still, wondering in the god-like ability of her couch to induce slumber into the very marrow of her bones. She'd gotten the dark green davenport for half-off, too.

She sat up slowly, gripping tightly onto what fleeting sustenance the soldier pill she took with her breakfast was giving her. No, couch, you're not winning this time. She rolled her neck from side to side, sat up straighter, stretched out her arms and proceeded to glare with vengeance at the papers still strewn over her coffee table. Without warning, fingers twitching menacingly, papers flying, she attacked…

_Ino earnestly waved over the auntie who ran the little eatery she'd half-dragged Sakura to. Not that Sakura was complaining, Ino observed, as she watched Pinkie dig gratefully into the nabeyaki udon she'd ordered for her. She also sneaked bits from Ino's gyudon bowl, but that was to be expected. The restaurant catered to Konoha's shinobi, those usually much too tired and busy to cook their own meal, yet still hungered for the simple, hearty tastes of home cooking. The chuckling, apple-cheeked auntie who founded and managed the joint, treated all customers wearing a hitai-ate of Konoha as if they were her own family, probably in memory of her KIA grandson. Ino gave a smile of glee as she greeted the auntie again. _

_Over Sakura's guzzling of her noodles, Ino could barely hear herself as she ordered a second helping of her gyudon and a new order of squid takoyaki. Sending the auntie on her way after pressing her cheek to hers affectionately, Ino directed her attention towards Sakura. Mouth still full of noodles, Sakura went cross-eyed as Ino pointed her chopstick in the space between her dark pink eyebrows. _

"_Enough about me, Forehead," she declared pompously, "What about you?" _

_Sakura chewed thoughtfully for a second, probably wondering how to put a creative spin on, "Not much." _

_Ino pursed her lips as she easily read the train of thought developing in Sakura's head. "Well now, you're getting a little fuzzy around the edges, aren't you?" she asked teasingly, as she tapped Sakura's brow with the other end of her chopsticks. Sakura gave a chipmunk's half-smile and resumed eating. Over her own bowl, Ino studied Sakura with a practiced and concerned eye… She didn't look as bad as she did when she visited the shop last week… _

_She looked less lost. _

_Ino returned her attention to her beef and rice bowl, splitting the soft-boiled egg delicately with her chopsticks. Her appetite dwindled, however, as she looked at Sakura again. _

_Would she ever go back to the way she was? _

_The rich food seemed a little bland now, as she pondered the more negative answers to the question. If anyone, didn't Sakura deserve to, at least? Ino bit down on her chopsticks a little harder than necessary._

_Hasn't she atoned enough already? For crimes she didn't really commit? _

_Sakura paused in her little feast and looked at her quizzically. She gestured wordlessly—to prevent an avalanche of half-processed food, no doubt—with a wave of her chopsticks, 'No appetite?' Startled out of her thoughts, Ino gave a bashful chuckle and said flippantly, "Watching the way you eat, how could anyone have an appetite?" _

_A vein throbbed visibly in Sakura's temple as she abandoned table etiquette and mumbled almost incoherently through her food, "I'm not the pig here." Ino responded with a simple snort and a half-sneer, which seemed to please Sakura greatly. She swallowed, washing down her esophagus with some tea, and then asked, "How's work?" Ino felt herself shrug and say, "Work's work. Ibiki still hasn't taken that stick out of his behind, but he's definitely gotten easier to look at. And then there's this cute guy-"_

_Sakura gave a slight 'hm' to warn Ino that she'd already told her about the "new cute guy" the entire walk here. Ino pretended to be miffed as she dug back into her bowl. What else was innocent enough to talk about? She'd had millions of conversations with Sakura over the years, but she was unsure of how to start this one… Shikamaru, the lazy sack of dung, had all but begged her to bring up this particular topic with Sakura, no matter how many times she'd warned him that it was a bad idea. She'd made sure he had the bruises to prove it, but he was still so insistent. The responsibility finally fell on her when he threatened to do it himself. _

_Over her dead body. _

_Sakura's chopsticks flashed before her face, stealing a little bit more of her rice. She gave a toothy, rice-filled grin at Ino's mock glare. She couldn't help it, she felt herself smiling back, although her gut boiled in dread and churned from what she was about to say. _

_Finally, when their main course was safely settled within their guts and they rested in their chairs contentedly, slowly munching on takoyaki like two overfed cows, as Sakura pointed out, Ino felt that it was time._

"_Hey, Forehead," she called. _

"_Yeah?" Sakura was chewing on her toothpick meditatively, looking out at the busy street beside them. _

"_Why are you doing this for him? After what he's done to you?" She tried to keep her voice as nonchalant as possible, but wasn't sure if she succeeded. After all, it was a question she knew full well the answer to, but one she'd been withholding from asking for these past few years… Simply put, it had some time to ferment. Who could blame her for the anger and pity she couldn't keep out of her voice? _

"_It's not just because you love him, is it?" she caught herself saying. Her and her big mouth…_

_The movements of Sakura's mouth became still. Staring down at the wooden table in front of her, she visibly processed the question before resuming her chewing, although it was noticeably more erratic and unsteady. Ino peered closer… Sakura… Seemed confused, too. _

"_That look," Sakura suddenly said slowly, eyes distant and so far away. _

_Ino waited patiently, though she felt curiosity getting the best of her._

"_His eyes," she continued, staring at that table as if it was an endless void. _

"_His eyes… Before he fell. When he looked at me. His eyes," Sakura said softly, eyebrows becoming increasingly more furrowed as she battled inarticulacy. Her gaze still remained vacant._

"_They looked like they used to, before everything started falling apart…"_

_Ino felt herself stiffen._

"_When he still loved me." _

Ino sprayed the orchids distractedly as her mind revolved around Sakura's firmer, steelier countenance. As much as she wanted to rejoice in this change, her heart still wondered if this transformation was organic or forced. Knowing Sakura—she attacked the orchids more vigorously with her spray bottle—it was probably the latter. Which meant that it was unhealthy. Which meant that she was trying to do everything on her own again.

Which meant that she was in danger.

Her eyes screwed shut as she ceased her spraying and leaned forward, resting her hands against the marble counter, hoping to rest her flustered mind. She felt the sudden urge to scratch her nose. Damn flower in her face certainly wasn't helping, she thought wryly as she swatted the offending petals away. Sighing, she looked at the clock on the wall. An hour until her shift started at Interrogation. And then more endless training with her father afterwards—it was going to be a long day.

She straightened.

_I'll believe in you, Sakura. I always have. _

She glanced to the countertop at her side, at the small bento box Sakura had ordered for her in secret and shoved into her midriff-baring top when her back was turned, before sprinting away with a jaunty wave. Abandoning her spray bottle, her pale hands slowly opened the little lunch box, almost anxiously.

It was filled with ripe, fresh cherry tomatoes and rice pudding, with a separate packet of hard-to-get and therefore expensive cinnamon. Her favorite foods.

Ino's throat tightened.

_But, Kami help me, I will not stand by and let you get hurt again. _

OOO

Sakura rolled the kinks out of her neck. She'd been stuck in this crouched, uncomfortable position for over five hours straight, poring over the mission documents. Comparing them to the notes she'd made the night she stayed up with Shikamaru, she knew now that there were no easy discrepancies, nothing simple that she could discern from the recorded facts of the events. Gently, she put down the mission report Shikamaru had written those years ago and folded her hands together, resting her elbows on her bent knees. Her head bent, pink ponytail sliding down her neck to hang by her cheek in a thick skein. As she stared at her admittedly ridiculously socked feet, she forgot to notice that she was wringing her hands together.

_She paced, paused, paced, pause, caught herself pacing, and paused again… She'd chewed her lip into a bloody mess and almost seriously injured three patients with her unstable control of chakra. Why the almost tangible dread and fear drowning her lungs? What were these tremors making their way from the base of her neck down her spine?_

_Why did she feel like she was about to die?_

_She shook her head and stopped in front of her office window. She'd barricaded herself in here after she almost removed a ligament from a patient's dislocated knee. Her hands reached out blindly and gripped the wood frame lining the sides of the glass pane, which did nothing but show her, with a setting sun, that she hadn't received a shadow from Shikamaru for the past seven hours._

_She'd assured herself that it was nothing, the first time a shadow flit hadn't come to play over her toes. He was probably busy with… Negotiations? _

_She shook her head, as if to shake off water. Did she really believe that? More importantly, how could she?_

_She stared at the red and orange brilliance cloaking the horizon. _

_Sakura then found herself rounding up any available shinobi she trusted. She couldn't organize an official party or mission—Naruto made sure of that—but he couldn't do anything about her friendships. _

_Ino wouldn't let her finish before she assured her that she'd find anyone else who could help and that she'd meet her at the gates in ten minutes. Before she leapt away, she saw Ino fiddle with her earring—the same one Chouji and Shikamaru wore constantly. Ino had every right to be as worried as she was. _

_After utilizing her trusty sleep-bomb on a couple of agents for the elders who'd made it a habit of theirs to tag her, she rounded up a few trustworthy ANBU she'd befriended whilst saving from the brink of death. The potent sleeping potion would give them a few hours head start on the elders, but that was all they needed._

_Sakura rushed to her apartment to change. Her churning gut told her she needed to pack every weapon she had. As she ripped her jounin vest off its hanger, her gloved hand lingered for a moment on white silk—the coat she hadn't touched in a while, although it haunted her closet like a ghost… Her fingers resolutely skimmed over it to the shoulder, arm, and calf armor hanging on a rack beside it. Now was no time for nostalgia. _

_Strapped in her full battle gear, blue hitai-ate tied tightly around her forehead, hair tied back in low ponytail, she reached the gates, heart continuing to pound frantically. The wind wasn't comforting, as she'd leapt from rooftop to rooftop. It'd just seemed to be pushing her back. _

_She landed in a crouch before straightening. From the way Rock Lee, Neji, Chouji and Ino looked at her, she knew she was as pale as death. Kami, she felt as pale as death. The six ANBU she'd been able to enlist remained silent behind their masks. If she weren't already so shaken, she would have noticed Ino waver before reaching out with a tentative hand. _

"_Sakura?"_

_Even Lee was silent. And staring at her like she'd grown two heads._

_She swallowed hard, feeling herself at the brink of losing her battle against a wave of nausea. She was sweating too much. But she met Ino's concerned gaze full on, intent on showing a brave, sure, certain face. Instead, it took everything for her to not simply collapse into Ino's arms. So she looked away. She straightened her gloves to busy herself, and tried to steady her voice. _

"_Let's go." _

Apparently, the event of Naruto's death was the most straightforward bit in this entire mess. Discovering how his body was switched was also an unimportant issue at this point, because all Konoha shinobi were accounted for during her fight with Sasuke—the only timeframe that Naruto could've been kidnapped. Her eyes opened into an emerald glare. She had her money on Kabuto for the switch job, anyway, and she didn't remember seeing him during the battle.

She glanced at her wall clock and groaned. She'd wasted so much time already. Her hands came up to cradle the sides of her head, pressing down encouragingly on her temples before moving on to rub the back of her neck. She knew why she could only stare so obsessively at these mission reports. These few words, these brush strokes… They'd changed her life completely within a day. As her eyes read and re-read every sentence incessantly, she begged, screamed, pleaded for it to seem more important—for it to validate the hell she's been in for these years. She straightened and scratched her forehead pensively and pushed herself back to real, objective work. She couldn't afford a slip-up now.

She rummaged through a few papers. If the battle were the most forthright part of this conspiracy, then the slip-ups would most likely appear before and after Naruto's mission. Tucking a few stray strands of pesky hair behind her ears, she purveyed the hospital files one-by-one. Everyone's injuries seemed just as unambiguous, equally severe… The only one who was hospitalized for an extended length of time was her, actually. She flipped open her file, scanning her injuries dispassionately.

She was hospitalized for twenty days, in a coma for seventeen days—

Sakura frowned and re-read the dates again. Something was a little off here… A clerical error? But no written typo could be this flawed… In fact, she was sure that… Flipping back to the diagnoses of her injuries, she scanned the list again, making mental approximations again. Gradually, her eyes widened.

She shouldn't have been out for more than three days.

Sakura now frantically flipped to the chart that mapped out her chakra levels throughout her vegetative state. Standing up abruptly, she rushed to her bedroom, chart still in hand, to grab a couple of colored pencils from her desk. Returning to the living room in a flurry, she was barely seated back on her couch before she was scribbling away furiously with a red pencil.

Pencil paused.

She sat back, a mixture of horror and wonder on her face as she stared at the file laid out in front of her, with her hands limp in her lap. She breathed out shakily. If her chakra levels were of any indication—which they were—she could have woken up at least eight times, each occasion marked by a frighteningly huge depletion of chakra right after her chakra peaked. Sakura's hands flitted across the rest of the file. There has to be a blood analysis chart somewhere here…

Finding it, scanning it, comparing it to the chakra level chart… Her hands nearly tore the paper as they clenched into fists. She felt bile rising up her throat. She quickly bent forward, forehead resting on the cool coffee tabletop. A few shuddering, deep breaths later, and she knew she stepped into a huge pile of—

She reluctantly sat up and looked at her hospital file again… It was still there. An unusual chemical compound was detected slightly in her blood at every interval her chakra levels were depleted. And she couldn't blame the nurses—not for this one. They wouldn't have recognized the composition, and would've thought it just some anomaly—it was too sporadic and the amount was too small to warrant much interest. She rubbed her temples. The composition was a derivative barbituric acid molecule.

She was repeatedly drugged into a coma.

And then drained of blood right after it was inserted into her system in order to make its presence less detectable with every blood analysis and to make recovery very difficult for her already weakened body.

So she wouldn't discover the truth about Naruto's stand-in corpse.

Sakura stared at the files in front of her. This is what she wanted, right? She wanted the truth. And now…

Fists shaking, nails biting into her palm, she took a deep breath, and let it out, counting slowly to ten until her palms stopped hurting, fingers relaxed and nails a good few inches away from her palms. She refocused on her file. Hopefully, the visitor list was here, although she knew she shouldn't be hoping for much. Someone this cunning would have probably entered through more covert means. The protective seals at the entrance of the hospital would've detected any type of henge.

She scanned the list, a familiarly manic focus and calm creeping back into her spine, shoulders and head. Her face froze into a dispassionate mask. Her visitors came consistently and frequently—Kakashi, Sai, Ino, Shikamaru, and…

Kiba?

She unexpectedly frowned. Sure, she was on good terms with him, but not so much as to compel him to visit her —she counted dubiously—a dozen times. She tried desperately to push away the black fingers of suspicion and mistrust that wrapped around her neck, forcing her to look at the visitors list again. Her hands were much slower as the flipped to her bloody analysis page. Reluctantly, she began comparing dates, growing increasingly paler and short of breath as she began questioning just what kind of life she'd brought herself into. As the dates began to increasingly coincide, she cursed the day she decided to enter the Ninja Academy. Sure, her hands glowed blue sometimes, but what did that mean? She could've been a librarian. She felt her throat tighten. She liked books. Her parents had been civilians anyway—it would've worked out for her…

Kami…

Have you forgotten me?

The file dropped from her hands, onto her feet as the heels of her hands rushed to press against the sting creeping into her eyes.

She didn't need to look at the mission report to remember that Kiba was the only survivor, other than Shikamaru, to make it out of the Oto mission alive. She didn't need to think that hard to remember Kakashi telling her, on that sandy rushed day in Suna, that Kiba was the one who declared Naruto dead by way of scent. And she didn't need to screw her eyes shut to remember the footnote Shikamaru had added to the end of his mission report—it swam tauntingly at the forefront of her blinded vision—that Kiba was the main supporter of burying Naruto early, because he couldn't stand smelling the dead body of his friend from miles away any longer…

She methodically went through the other files she'd retrieved—the autopsies of the murdered eight ANBU (all skewered by Sasuke's favored pets, Kirin and Susanoo), the meager dates of hawk messages to the elders (did they even matter anymore?), the medical files, Sasuke's separate bingo book—

A light disturbance by her feet awakened her from her self-anesthetizing daze. She blinked before reaching down to pick up a piece of paper that had floated down from the pages of Sasuke's bingo book. It was a seal. She weighed the piece of paper in her hand, unsure of whether to open it at a lab or here. Spreading the paper onto the coffee table, she answered her own question. A simple release hand seal and her simple table was soon overflowing with files, photographs…

She frowned in disbelief, reaching out to shuffle through the photographs. They were all of her…

With Sasuke.

She felt her breath leave her lips in an incredulous wisp.

But, when…? What was going on?

She gathered up all the pictures and began flipping through them. Ever since a development in photography created a less cumbersome, portable camera, ANBU and shinobi sent on reconnaissance missions have been equipped with them. They were now required to take photos instead of merely writing down what they observed. But these photos… How were they created? She couldn't even imagine the number of encounters with Sasuke these pictures were holding her accountable for. She counted.

Twenty-three?

And she was depicted in different outfits… In articles of clothing she knew she owned. She looked at the photographs more closely… There were different faint lines around her figure. So she was probably followed, photographed and inserted into these pictures of Sasuke.

But how could anyone believe that these were authentic pictures?

She shook her head. The only time she saw Sasuke within the three years between her journey to assassinate him when they were fifteen and Naruto's journey to Oto was that surprising encounter after her ill-fated mission to Kumo… Did Sasuke also foresee the minute long meeting that made Naruto decide to cease mental communications with her, and then leave her? She felt her heart twinge as those unbidden memories made an unwelcome appearance before her eyes. She gritted her teeth.

_It was three years ago. I have to get over it. _

She looked closer at the photographs. Her eyebrows rose in alarm and then gradually furrowed in mild disgust. She and Sasuke looked… Almost… _Chummy_, if their expressions were of any indication. She felt herself scoff again under her breath. People forgot how to smile when they were within a ten feet radius from Sasuke.

She threw the photographs onto her coffee table, an accusatory muttered, "Trash," failing to hide the trepidation that began to build up in the back of her mind—

Why were these hidden in Sasuke's bingo book?

This time, Sakura made for the files. They were loosely bound together. As she flipped through their corners, she noted that they were mission reports, all written and carried out solo, by an ANBU 20394 on the orders of the Rokudaime Uzumaki Naruto… She felt her heart jump to her throat. For a split second, she'd wished it said, 'Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi,' or even 'Shimura Danzo.' But no, Danzo had to be destroyed by Sasuke and Kakashi had to refer the title back to Tsunade-shishou after she woke from a coma onset by Akatsuki's attack on Konoha. Rubbing her forehead with a few fingertips, she began reading the first one.

The comforting motions against her forehead stopped as she froze completely. The only parts of her body that moved were her eyes as they scanned over the page with increasing speed. She blinked a few times, before re-reading the page again and again. She then suddenly sprung into frenzied action.

Ripping through the other pages, her eyes moved over them fervently, frantically.

Finally, she reached the last page.

Sakura sat back slightly. Hands loose, sweat breaking out on her brow, her eyes were wide in doubt and fear.

_It can't be… _

OOO

Shikamaru stubbed out his cigarette into the ashtray Ino had bought for him before standing up from his chair. He reorganized and shuffled around completed and yet-to-be completed papers—he'll finish everything in the morning. He'll be a few hours late for the deadline, but heck, he just couldn't sit in this damned chair anymore. He was certain that if he examined the seat of it, an impression of his bottom would be melded into the wood—

The door burst open with a bang. Startled, Shikamaru looked up to see a breathless and pale Sakura. His eyes narrowed. Why did she look so...

Terrified?

"Sakura," he began, not bothering to conceal worry from his voice, before she interrupted him in a deathly low whisper.

"Is it true?"

He felt genuine curiosity meld his features. "Is what true?" he asked slowly and carefully. He almost felt like putting up his hands, as if to approach a wild beast driven into a corner.

Shikamaru didn't flinch when Sakura's arm moved, and he didn't look immediately down when he heard a thud on his desk. Eyes trained onto Sakura's heaving and bloodless face until the last moment, his head trailed down to the sheaf of papers she'd thrown. He sorted through them with his fingertips. And stiffened. His head shot up to look at her.

That was all it took—his expression… The dread and mild horror… It told her everything.

Silence filled every last corner until Sakura felt her throat clear long enough to speak, although it was still raspy and strained.

"Is this why?"

Shikamaru didn't say anything. He couldn't. But he gave a slight nod. For the life of him, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her increasingly glassy ones.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was growing steadily weaker.

"He told me not to."

"Why didn't he tell me?" Barely above a whisper.

"… I don't know."

"Did you believe this?" She gestured to the papers before him, her face on the verge of crumbling. "That I was meeting with Sasuke in secret… To overthrow Naruto… Make Sasuke Hokage…" She became increasingly incoherent as her throat felt like it was disappearing. Her face pulled into an enraged scowl as she spat out, "That I was… Screwing him?"

She looked like she could barely stand now. But he couldn't make any move to help her. He was frozen where he was.

"I didn't."

"Because to anyone else, it would sound unbelievable, right?" she snarled. "But do you know why he did?" The mixture of anger and self-loathing in her voice was enough to make him nauseous.

"Flip that page over." She pointed to one of the mission reports by his hand. He obliged. And frowned. His eyes narrowed as he studied the faded seal his fingertips glided over.

"It's a genjutsu," she choked out. Ironic humor was now being added to melting pot. "Sasuke only needed to use a genjutsu to tear everything down," she said, her voice, completely disintegrated by regret and guilt, now hollow and dry.

"Are you sure Sasuke made these?" Shikamaru couldn't help but ask. He knew the answer already. How could he not? But he had to make sure that other people would be able to follow Sakura's over-arching connections.

"It's his chakra signature. I'd recognize it anywhere… That genjutsu would explain why Naruto believed his letters, too."

Shikamaru kept looking at the paper shaking in his hand. He'd seen this seal before, though he never actually used it nor had he seen it being activated. In the books, it was a simple yet powerful mind-control genjutsu that depended on its subtle, slight use of chakra and close play on reality to gain invasive and undetectable control of a victim for an extended length of time. Naruto, who was self-admittedly horrible at genjutsu, would have been the perfect target for it.

Especially if the fabrications were about her.

"I didn't read the letters myself—I didn't want to. Did Sasuke say that I was meeting him in one of them? Is that why Naruto had me tagged?"

He nodded, still examining the seal—but there was something strange about her voice. He glanced at her and froze—

She was falling apart right in front of him and he couldn't do anything. All he was, was fear—how could he explain how terrifying it was to behold her ghostly complexion and tense jaw? Worse still were her eyes—cold, colorless, deadened.

He swallowed heavily to ease his suddenly dry throat… What could he say or do?

"Who's ANBU 20394?" she suddenly demanded in a haggard whisper.

Shikamaru eyes narrowed in surprise as he said, "Kiba's. But how did you know that?"

A breeze washed over his hand—

She was already gone. As were the papers she'd thrown on his desk and the one he'd held in his hand.

He stared at the open doorway.

Had it all been a dream? Just a simple, terrible nightmare? He half-hoped…

The lavender and rain lingering in the air told him that no, it wasn't so.

OOO

_She sighed tiredly as she walked in and all but threw her bag and traveling cloak onto the floor. Her door snapped shut with a backwards nudge from her heel. With boots successfully ripped off, she was on her merry way to a shower and sleep._

_She was toweling her hair dry when she opened the door to Naruto's room and poked her head in. _

"_Naruto?"_

_He was definitely here, all right, if the stacked and freshly emptied bowls of instant ramen on the floor were of any indication. The rest of the mess was there all the time. The bathroom, maybe? She knocked on that door. The last time she'd attempted to walk in there, she had the misfortune of discovering members of the animal and plant kingdoms that haven't been named yet. No wonder the idiot uses her bathroom, and barely even that, unless she drags him in there by the ear and locks him in until she hears running water. _

"_I'm here, Sakura-chan!" His voice sounded a little distant and far away._

_She moved for his open window, climbing onto his unmade bed, and poked her head out into the open air. Looking up, she felt an aneurysm burst in her temple as his toes squirmed happily two inches away from her sensitive nose. _

_So, she pinched as many as she could get a hold of. Hard. _

_She ignored his tears and winces as she climbed up onto the roof, planting herself next to him with a huff. 'What a way to greet me after I haven't seen him in a week', she grumbled as she rubbed her hair dry. _

_His pouting ceased when he observed her not-much-less-than-evil scowl. So he chuckled nervously, running a hand through the back of his hair. _

"_Bad mission?" he questioned tentatively. She shook her head as she wrapped her towel into a snug turban. "Tiring one," she corrected. "Tedious," she added as an afterthought. _

"_Ah," he hummed knowingly. "Well, those happen." Sakura merely grunted in agreement. _

_Perking up, he held out an arm. She gave him a wry glance out of the corner of her eye. Ultimately, she lost to his heartwarming smile. Like she always did. Although she didn't let it show… Almost. _

_Her head rested lightly against his shoulder as they both stared out at the setting sun. Sakura rolled her eyes to the high heavens however, when she noticed that Naruto's other hand was preoccupied with chopsticks and a bowl of ramen he'd somehow shimmied up here and rested securely on his thighs. _

"_Count of the day?" she asked dryly. _

"_Twenty-second with no signs of stopping," he replied happily. _

"_You are not kissing me 'goodnight' until you brush your teeth," she sighed before closing her eyes, exhaustion and comfort finally overcoming her. Ramen still dangling from his teeth, he gave a wicked grin before slurping the noodles completely into his mouth, chewing once, storing it in his cheeks, and pursing his lips in a miso-flavored pucker. _

_A, "Don't you dare," stopped him flat as well as a gentle pinch on his nose that wouldn't go away, no matter how many times he wriggled it. Sakura's eyes remained peacefully closed as Naruto struggled with the increasingly painful pinch on his nostrils. Soon, he was steadily losing air and knew his options were limited to taking a breath by getting rid of his pucker and swallowing his ramen, or saying 'goodbye' to his precious schnoz. He opted for the former, so that when the pincer-like fingers sank back into her lap, he could plant a big wet one on her cheek. _

_She merely groaned in exasperation and rubbed the broth from her cheek, wiping her hand on Naruto's face halfheartedly, already half-asleep. _

"_I'll get you tomorrow," she yawned before moving closer to his warmth, her towel-turban tickling his cheek. _

"_I'll be waiting," she last heard him say, as his arm tightened around her protectively, possessively…_

_Vulnerably. _

Night was creeping closer and closer to the horizon, but Sakura ignored it all. She stood almost meditatively; eyes shut tight, hands drawn together in a Tiger seal. A few seconds later, she was a glowing blue beacon against the encroaching darkness, chakra flaring out irregularly from her skin, lifting her hair into undulating ripples. Suddenly, her eyes screwed shut tighter and her shoulders tensed. The earth she was standing on cracked in rivulets but kept her weight. She shuddered and concentrated harder, hands trembling slightly as she pressed them together more tightly. A few more minutes passed with Sakura in this state, covered in dangerously erratic and destructive chakra, before gradually, the sharp fragmentations of chakra leaping from her skin seemed to settle. Inch-by-inch, spiking waves of chakra smoothed into gently pulsing coat on her skin. Sakura was now sweating profusely as she carefully brought her arms down to her sides and straightened her back, her shoulders tensed in concentration.

She took an experimental step forward. And then another. She tentatively fell into a few slow taijutsu katas before her chakra suddenly became erratic again and the ground beneath her creaked warningly. Sakura was starting to gasp. She tried to suppress it and steady her breathing, but she was increasingly lacking air. Lip curled in a snarl of frustration, she tried to bring her hands into a Tiger seal again, attempting to fold her chakra back into a manageable skin, but her chakra was now visibly acting out. A few more moments of trying to regain control, and a torrent of blood falling from both nostrils now informed her that she needed to stop immediately.

She sighed and let out a breath, trying to blow away the spots dotting her vision. Blue chakra ceased moving around her and she disappeared into a darkness that now covered the sky completely. She slumped to her knees, struggling to regain proper function of her lungs. As she kneeled, she bent forward to lean on her hands, swallowing down a bit of bile. Her fingers raked through the dirt in her efforts. To distract herself, she watched her blood drip down in scarlet drops by her hands for a few seconds, matching her inhales and exhales with each crimson bead. A tad bit of chakra soon stilled the flow.

Fully in control of her breath, she leaned backwards to rest against the middle of three poles that stuck out like wayward fingers from the training ground. She sat still, head tilted to look up at the sky—it was too cloudy for stars. She closed her eyes in defeat.

That was the longest she had ever been able to maintain that jutsu.

She took a deep breath.

It was almost ready.

She drew her knees closer to her body. Her head sank down to rest on her kneecaps. She did nothing to wipe the sweat that still lined her brow, the back of her neck, and drenched her hair. She was but a small shadow, hiding in the shadow of the pole she rested against. There were no crickets tonight, making the night that much more silent. Their absence merely amplified the errant whispers in the wind that disappeared if she focused too hard on trying to hear them.

She was infamous for avoiding this particular training ground like the plague, but somehow, he'd found her.

Sakura gave no indication that she registered him settling down beside her. So Sai simply unstrapped his katana from his back to sit down more comfortably and leaned forward to prop a chin against his hand. He as well gave no outward sign that he had acknowledged her. So they sat together wordlessly—not uncomfortably but not comfortably either. There was too much left unsaid, too much they knew had changed.

"I know you don't know much about our history—Team Seven's," she said suddenly, her voice muffled by her knees. Sai blinked, and listened.

"And looking back," she said, still hiding her face from him, "There's actually not much to say."

_They were always at odds with each other—resorting to stealing warmth, comfort, and laughter at the worst of times, in the smallest of ways. _

She lifted her head finally and settled it to lean against the pole again. This time, however, her gaze was trained to the empty space in front of her, refusing to let it trail skywards. Distracted by the flash of white to her left, she looked at the hand Sai was holding out to her, and took the handkerchief on it with a short, "Thanks." She dabbed at the sweat on her forehead absentmindedly.

"At this point," she continued pensively, "I can't be certain how much I can accurately remember, let alone accurately convey." Her damp-handkerchief-lined hand returned to her lap, her stare near vacant.

"But isn't it normal to forget?" his quiet voice broke her in the subtlest of ways, "Don't we?"

She didn't know what she was looking at, suddenly overwhelmed by the fresh wash of guilt that was almost turning her cheeks red—she'd forgotten to whom she was talking to. Why couldn't she be more sensitive about things? Tactful? Careful?

"Yeah," she just said quietly, "We all forget." It wasn't a complete lie. But she was certain Sai needed her affirmation for his own issues. She'd give it, and gladly, if it would help any.

She could hear the crickets now, and the quietness of Sai's breathing next to her, more so the movement of his vest than air. He seemed cautious by the tone of his next words:

"Why are you upset?"

Sakura couldn't help but let her lip twitch upwards; wry, ironic humor belying the words that were threatening to pour out of her like a bottled storm. She felt sorry, to be burdening him like this. And sorrier, because she didn't care enough to stop talking…

"All of this time," she heard herself say, "I was able to tell myself repeatedly that I could kill him." She scoffed and stretched her legs out, as they were starting to cramp. "First time certainly proved me wrong." She had that split second chance to ram her kunai into that godforsaken Uchiha symbol on his back, but of course, she just… She just couldn't. She wasn't ready then.

"Second time… The second time—I've been trying to hide the fact that I could've, by convincing myself that I was too weak to. Blinding him was all I could've done at that point." A tired hand came up to rub her face. She'd forgotten how dirty her hands were. Now, her cheeks were smudged black and brown. And red.

But heck, she didn't really care.

"If I had then, things wouldn't have ended up like this. How am I supposed to come to terms with that?" A tinge of anger gave her the gall to dare look at the sky now. The clouds were as suffocating and dark as they were before. "How many more terrible things must he do for me to finally be able to do it?" she asked them angrily.

The vexation in her face cracked a little… "Why is killing him the only option we have?" she whispered.

The sky was silent. Ignorant or uncaring—she couldn't tell anymore. But it asked her: Is it?

"We're trained to kill so we can protect," Sakura said, finally speaking directly to Sai. She turned to look at his passive, porcelain profile. He stared out ahead, coal-black eyes taking in everything and nothing. But he was listening. He'd always been listening.

"It's still murder," she heard herself finish in a bated whisper, looking away from him at the handkerchief still relatively pristine in her palm. Sai continued to say nothing, although even the darkness couldn't hide the slight tension in his shoulders now. Sakura chewed her lip apprehensively. Sai was infamous for revealing inconvenient semi-truths in the most inconvenient ways possible.

"… Why do you believe you have to kill him, when you clearly don't want to?" Sai asked. He hesitated a little before pressing, "Are you still in love with him?" For her continued silence, he turned to look at her this time and could only observe a stern profile that was now self-trained to give absolutely nothing away. He studied her with a wary expression; have you been this entire time, still, Sakura?

"Are you?" he inquired again.

It was her turn to be tense. Her hands were busy twisting and turning the little piece of cloth distractedly, as if aware of how uncomfortable she was trying not to be, when all she'd wanted was to be honest.

"Sai," she said, "If your older brother was alive, but had committed evil acts. And was intent on killing everyone you love without exceptions, without discretion… What would you do?" She turned to him, her eyes far from accusatory, only sadly curious.

He tried answering, but was honestly stumped. And had no idea what to improvise with. He wasn't very practiced at it.

In a whisper he wouldn't have heard if he hadn't had nothing to say, she continued, "I had to try and stop him," pausing to take a steadying breath, "because what he was doing to Naruto and to himself, was worse than death. I wanted him to pay for the crimes he committed, and for the crimes he wanted to commit. The love I had for him wasn't an issue then." It was a quiet night, so she didn't understand how she couldn't speak any louder.

Sai shook his head slightly. "But you didn't have to try to kill him," he said resolutely, but as gently as he could. "It was still about you. What he was doing to you, wasn't it. How he made you feel about yourself."

Sakura tried to keep her face as impassive as possible, and yet she couldn't help the way it crumpled a bit before she managed to catch it. "Yeah, maybe in the back of my mind," she managed thickly, "but how could that matter when I was sure he was going to kill more people unless he was stopped?"

Her eyes were full, so she pulled her head back abruptly and blinked as earnestly as she could.

"I was afraid he'd kill Naruto, only because Naruto would never kill him… And Naruto was going to keep trying and trying, and getting himself into those situations…" she attempted to explain. She stopped when her tears were sufficiently gone, and she was capable of bowing her head again. That was that. She tried discreetly wiping her nose. Sai was motionless beside her. If she couldn't convince herself that she wasn't a selfish person, how could she expect to convince others to think differently?

"I was wrong," she admitted dejectedly, "I was wrong."

Sai stayed silent. It was probably better for her to talk it through to herself, out loud.

"You know," Sakura began softly, "Naruto saved me. More times than I could ever count or repay. Even as a kid, when he had nothing, all he knew of was how to give. And Sasuke and I—we just took and took..." Her voice wavered unsteadily as unbidden memories of a young Naruto, a grown-up Naruto, an idiot Naruto, a laughing Naruto all washed up at the forefront of her thoughts.

"And I just…" she heard herself admitting, finally, out loud. For a split second, her face involuntarily crumpled again, though she quickly brought the heels of her hands to her eyes.

"That was quite some time ago, wasn't it?" Sai asked lightly.

Sakura caught herself before she agreed too quickly. She lowered her hands, and stared numbly at her feet.

A hand came up to press against the sudden pain she felt in her chest. Gritting her teeth, she said nothing, only moving to rub her eyes tiredly when the pain had subsided. Sai looked at her curiously and for a moment was glad that he had never and might never be as lost as Sakura looked right now… He could only wonder. What would it feel like? Where would it hurt?

Where would it hurt most?

Sai was silent for a few moments before asking, "Will you take him back—if we all get through this in one piece?"

Sakura looked at him sharply. Sai brought up his hands and a nervous smile to slow her down. "Easy there. Shikamaru briefed me and sent me to find you." Sakura frowned and muttered, "You both are ridiculous drama queens."

Sai merely laughed and fixed the strap on his sandal.

"I don't know," he thought he heard her say softly.

Sai looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She turned to look straight back at him—solemn, serious, and confident in her unknowing.

"I don't know if I would take him back," she repeated to him in a low, still, measured tone. She broke eye contact and stared down at her lap, adding quietly, "Even if he wanted to be with me again."

Sai frowned, "But… The genjutsu—"

"That changes very little," she interrupted softly. She chewed her lip. "The genjutsu is ultimately mind control, yes," she then explained, "But its key aspect is exacerbation; it manipulates suppressed feelings, shreds of doubt—things that were already there in order to be realistic." The handkerchief was now a tight coil in her palm. Staring at it, Sakura said softly, "And we're very different now. All of us."

Sai said nothing, although he was still frowning visibly—a large feat for him. Sakura observed all this and was utterly, enormously thankful. He was worried for her sake. She couldn't help but smile a bit. She reached out to pat his shoulder. "It's alright," she said. He looked at her, conspicuously unconvinced.

She sighed and leaned further back against the wood pillar for support, "I'm okay without him… As long as he's alive, of course," she laughed. The smile on her face flickered and melted into her eyes, "The years we were together," something about her expression made Sai's chest twinge, "are enough to last me a lifetime." She fiddled a little more with the handkerchief that was now officially a very short rope, the smile still lingering on her face although her eyes seemed to dull considerably. "'As long as he's happy', I told myself then, like I do now. As long as he's happy, I can't bring myself to begrudge him a thing." She took a deep breath and blew it out reflectively.

Sai's eyebrows pinched in thought. He leaned closer to Sakura inquisitively. She backed away from him just as much with a curious and not far from bemused expression on her face. "Yes?" she asked dryly.

Sai looked just too serious when he demanded shortly, "But you still love him," for her to not laugh a bit. She pushed him away gently, saying, "Of course." Her eyebrows furrowed as if in preparation to be lost again in some distant memory until she glanced up to see traces of confusion on Sai's mien. Sakura sighed. He'd been reading way too many self-help books…

"Sai, maybe you'll understand this in the future, but… Love sometimes isn't enough to make two people stay together or even be together. Too much has happened… Too much is in the way." Her face was a little drawn, but it brightened encouragingly as she said, "But that love is still there. Though," her face gave a little unhappy twitch, "considering our line of duty, we take what we can get." It seemed to sink in some, his black brows losing some of their tension as he nodded wisely, "I think I understand this."

"That's great, Sai," she said encouragingly, rubbing a scuffmark on her boot and missing the look he gave her. She turned her attention to him with misleading innocence, "Who's the lucky lady?" Sai could only just manage to let out a huff and look away. Sakura's eyebrows danced in amusement, "Lucky man, then?" The resulting pinched look he was startled into giving her was enough to make her fearful of the prospect of not being able to wash off certain ink stains when she returned home. Laughing nervously and bringing her hands up, palms towards him, in the universal, 'I kid, I kid, please don't kill me,' fashion, she barely managed to concede with, "Hey, hey, I believe love is love! No judgment here!"

When he was sufficiently appeased, which fortunately took less time than other people, she looked upwards again, but her wariness was all-but smoothed away as she caught a small glimmer wink back at her. She almost smiled in relief.

They're always there—the stars.

She was brought back down to earth, though, as she thought and asked him, "What about you? How are you feeling about all of this?"

Sai's expression was as impassive as ever, but his shoulders shrugged—a tad broodingly, a tad tensely—while his lips tightened, paling against his already pale skin. Sakura studied him for a moment. "Nervous?" she suggested softly.

Sai shifted a little before saying slowly, "If that's what this is," rubbing the back of his neck with a now slightly perturbed expression on his face, "Then maybe, yes." Sakura gave him a small smile—no other addendums needed to let him know that his lack of an answer was perfectly okay. "Although," he remarked gently, "I'd very much like to see Naruto again." Sakura grin disappeared slightly, but she continued to look at him wordlessly. He gave her one of his old, fake smiles, to which one of her eyebrows lifted (oh, how she's missed them) and said, "And you know, I always have a bone to pick with Sasuke."

Sakura could only give a half-hearted grin in response, which faded quickly too, as he seemed to withdraw back into himself.

After a beat, she handed the handkerchief he lent her back to him with a small, "Thank you," one that was meant to stand for much more... Her eyes softened as she watched the steadiness of his movements, the slight expressiveness of his face… Was it pride or embarrassment or guilt that was keeping her from saying what she should? All she could hope for was the possibility that he nonetheless understood how grateful she was to him… She studied Sai's face a little longer than necessary as he took his kerchief back, a blankness accompanied by the traces of a bewildered look growing on his face before he asked, "What is this?" Sakura had already stood up and was dusting off her pants.

"Your handkerchief," she said shortly, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Sakura," he began slowly, "I'll rephrase the question. What have you done to it?" The rope-like twisted piece of cloth flopped uselessly between his fingers as he tried to shake it back out into a passable squared handkerchief. She observed his antics coolly, before saying lightly, "No idea."

Sai stood up hurriedly as she began walking away, grabbing his katana in a rush. He caught up to her, buckling his sword on his back with one hand while still trying to do something about his poor handkerchief. "Did you braid it?" he asked exasperatedly as he began tugging forcefully at either ends of the white twist. She simply shrugged her honest unknowing in response, although there seemed to be something tugging the corner of her mouth.

Sai gave up and pocketed the pitiful thing. Maybe water will loosen it some. "Oh," he started, "Am I walking you home?" Sakura shook her head slightly. "Not today, thanks. I have to visit someplace first." Her voice took on a sharp edge, "Ask a few questions."

"At this time of night?" he asked plainly.

Sakura just gave a slight nod. In turn, Sai studied her face a little bit before reaching out a hand to stop her. She obliged but looked at him curiously. He rummaged a little in his pockets before procuring the roll of a handkerchief, courtesy of Sakura. He folded the coil in half and began rubbing away gently at the dirt on her face with its folded end like a kindergartner who'd just discovered the benefits of an eraser. Her gaze was soft as it rested on his face, which was serious in concentration.

He finally leaned back with a pleased smile on his face. "There! Now you're safe for the human race to look at!" He got a bop on the head for that.

OOO

The bar was dim and bare. The few stragglers still lingering were either propped up on stools or drooling in sake-induced slumber at tables they haven't left since morning. And then of course, there was him. The Hokage. Slumming it with these ragtag members of Konohagakure at one of Konoha's seediest pubs. Just because they wouldn't recognize him.

How befitting a Hokage.

_He breathed heavily as he took shelter behind a boulder, ignoring the fresh cuts on his cheek. Two of Naruto's ANBU were already down and multiple Narutos were taking on fourteen Oto-nins at once. He held back from throwing himself into the fray, as he still wasn't breathing right. And his right ear was bleeding and slightly deaf. Damn Oto kekkai genkais were such a drag. _

"_Hey," whispered a curt voice in his left ear. Shikamaru started violently, throwing up his trench knives defensively before relaxing and throwing a pair of large orange-hooded eyes a glare. "Jeez," he huffed out, a hand on his chest before saying tersely, "Don't do that again." He looked cautiously over the boulder at the rest of the fighting. His lip was torn between his teeth as he bit down hard—another ANBU was down. _

"_Sorry," breathed Naruto quietly, his attention curt on the mess before him as he took a moment to peer out the side of the boulder. Eyes screwing shut, as if in pain, he turned back to lean heavily against the rock face, breathing quietly but deeply. The whiskers on his cheek had been deepened by the overflow of the Kyuubi's chakra uncontrolled by the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode, and stood stark from his bloodless skin. When he opened his eyes, Shikamaru saw they were hard, but calm, and not in a good way. It was the kind of calm that foretold an oncoming storm from not too far away. As Shikamaru looked at him, words failed. Relatively speaking, Naruto was holding up okay. How much better could he have been, really, when Sasuke had released him from whatever jutsu he'd been using on Naruto this entire time, just to tell him that he'd pretty much already taken his life?_

_And Sakura's…_

_Shikamaru felt his gut twist. He peeked out the side of the boulder only to recoil back, his breath caught in his throat. Sasuke's glare was still, after all these years, not something anyone could ever prepare for. The bastard was just standing there, face devoid of all emotion as he stared at the boulder where he knew Naruto was resting. His nonchalance in the face of pain, death, blood, soldiers in their death throes, was something that no human could ever understand. How could he do what he'd done? _

_Naruto knew of course, where Sasuke's attention was directed. Still, he simply stared ahead, attention clearly elsewhere. His gaze was tinged in desperation, eyebrows screwed in regret and the hollowness acquired from wanting something you could never have. _

_His eyes were trained towards Konoha. _

_The only indication that Naruto was even aware of his situation was the sweat dripping down his temples. Shikamaru scowled. You could cut Sasuke's murderous intent from the air. In cubes. He adjusted his trench knives, wiping his sweaty palms against his trousers. He looked towards Konoha as well. Sakura would be here soon, he knew. _

_He hoped. _

_Damn that Sasuke. If anyone could play dirty, it was him. Neither his or Naruto's expressions wavered, as he so nonchalantly explained how he'd woven Naruto into his elaborate plan of destroying Konoha: isolate Naruto from the one person who was involved enough to ruin all of his plans—Sakura—and draw Naruto out here..._

_Funny, the bastard couldn't just kill Sakura and get it over with, Naruto had taunted. But no, Sasuke had grinned. He wanted to make Sakura suffer in the only way she knew how—unrequited love. Killing Naruto would be the last nail hammered into her coffin, he'd said simply, as if none of what he was saying mattered at all. Naruto had refused to respond. Or he couldn't. Either way, that's when the fighting began. Shikamaru couldn't remember clearly anymore, who threw the first blow. Did it even matter? _

_And what then? What was next? Was Sasuke master plan going to end with just killing the Hokage? And then what? Konoha would still be standing. _

_Right? _

_The wind was steady. His nose scrunched in distaste. Being a shinobi didn't necessarily mean you'd get used to the stench of blood and dying men… He bent his head, eyes shut tight, as if he wanted to crawl within himself and shut away the noise… And he so wanted to, so dearly wanted to. _

_What were they doing, fighting like this? What for? Why couldn't they just retreat? That was the only option they were left with if they wanted to go back—_

_Go back home. _

_Shikamaru swallowed tightly, moisture gone from his lips and throat. He took a moment to stare up at the sky. The blue was veined with the bare branches of trees shivering in the wind. He blinked slowly. Would this be the last time he looked at the sky? He looked at Naruto from out the corner of his eye. _

_Would it be Naruto's? _

_From what Shikamaru could tell, Naruto wasn't worn out yet, but the pressure of what Sasuke had done to him had come crashing down the moment the bastard had broken the genjutsu. How could Naruto fight properly while carrying that weight? How could anyone? _

_Sakura… _

"_Shikamaru." _

_He felt himself turn to look at Naruto, trepidation making time and their surroundings stand still. Why was that tone in his voice? He studied Naruto's profile, dread eating its way up from his stomach. Naruto seemed like himself. Shikamaru started a little, when Naruto tilted his head to lie at a jaunty angle. His now blue eyes smiled, his half-grin was comforting. _

"_I have a favor to ask. Can you do something for me?" _

_Shikamaru refused to say 'yes' although it bridled the tip of his tongue. An affirmation would mean too much—too much that he couldn't let happen. He pleaded with his eyes. _

_Don't do this. _

_Naruto's grin faded slightly. Shikamaru then knew, that this wasn't something Naruto could oblige. He bowed his head in defeat. Naruto's voice came out slow and steady. _

"_Don't tell her anything." _

_Shikamaru looked up at him in surprise and not a tiny bit of anger. "Because you'll tell her yourself," he demanded. Naruto simply looked away to avoid answering. _

_Naruto then shifted, crouching low, facing the fighting, the boulder gripped in his hands, cracks in the stone veining out from his fingers. _

"_This one favor, Shikamaru. If anything happens to me… Take care of her for me. Take care of her. Make sure she's okay." _

_And then he was gone, a near explosion of chakra indicating his clash with Sasuke… _

_He felt his chest ache in some inexplicable fear. _

_Sakura._

_Hurry. _

Shikamaru took another shot before slamming the tiny cup back on the table. Wincing, he waited for the burn to subside before blearily pouring another cupful. He was just about to bring it to his lips when he heard her laugh. It was small, subtle, and barely there. But if anything, he'd hear it. He looked about in a daze around the bar, wondering what the hell happened for someone like her to be in a place like this, before he caught a flash a pink out of the corner of his eye. He peered out the window.

There she was.

Sai was walking alongside her, waving a hand around crazily (was he drunk, too?) while Sakura just let it play out, obviously too entertained to stop him. He studied her.

She looked better.

The corner of his lip turned up as he gave himself a mental pat on the back. That self-satisfaction disappeared though, as he realized he was hopelessly drunk. He groaned as his head sank into arms that folded sluggishly onto the counter. How the heck was he going to get home?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 **

Her knocking interrupted the otherwise still night. After her knuckles rapped as quietly as possible against the wooden gate that marked the clan territory of the Hyuugas, she waited semi-patiently. Biding her time, Sakura studied her feet, the tips of her boots scratching random seals and kanji into the dirt as quickly as they spontaneously popped into her head. She stood to attention however, once she sensed movement on the other side of the gate. There was no call demanding she state her identity, yet the gate swung open silently, most certainly thanks to the Byakugan. She slipped in soundlessly, the gate shutting behind her with a slight click.

The Hyuuga jounin guarding the gates simply addressed her with a cool stare. "I'm here to visit Hiashi-sama's compound," she explained. The jounin's gaze narrowed questioningly, to which she responded with a scowl and an exasperated, "If it wasn't urgent, I wouldn't be here at this time of night." After a pause and a silent, semi-battle of stares, he simply nodded and removed himself from her path. As Sakura walked past him, she desperately wished it were within her power to give that nuisance of a Hyuuga a good passing smack on the head for wasting a good two minutes of her precious time. It was certainly within her rights.

As she hurried through the quiet and traditional streets, which were lit only by very low lanterns, she couldn't help but feel the oppressive expectation of order and excellence this clan was infamous for. She may have been born a no one in the shinobi world, but she was infinitely glad she wasn't born a Hyuuga. Her hands sunk deeper into her pants pockets. The night chill made her very aware of her simple standard jounin shirt and trousers. Sakura then realized she was wearing a relatively old pair—the elbows and knees were worn thin. She breathed out slowly, air coming out in visible puffs. Autumn would be here soon. Observing a few passersby in their wonderfully luxurious fabrics did make her a tad self-conscious. Especially since the cloth over her right knee wasn't only worn thin—it was a gaping hole. She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. Maybe she was dressed extremely casually while going to meet overtly formal people, but heck, there were more important things to worry about, right? At least she'd been dressed appropriately when she'd headed to the Inuzaka compound first. She'd even felt formally dressed compared to their general scruffiness. And overly clean, to be honest. Her visit there, in search of Kiba, wasn't long; Hana had redirected her towards the Hyuuga compound, where he'd be staying the night.

Sakura frowned in thought. It didn't take much to notice how Hana's face had darkened considerably at the mention of her little brother. At Sakura's prompting, Hana had then confided about how it Kiba avoids home as much as possible, through no fault of any of his family members. He simply chooses to never be around.

Sakura rolled the thought over and over in her head. She vaguely remembered seeing him occasionally, at the hospital, in the streets or when she met up with friends for dinner, but she never noticed anything strange about him now or then. But if he was really capable of drugging her to keep her in a comatose state, was he also capable of betraying Naruto or of trying to break into the Hokage archives? The leap seemed too far, and for the life of her, she couldn't connect the dots. Or she didn't want to. Maybe that's why she was here, to see if at least this was a misconstrued mistake on her part. Besides, she wasn't willing to see any of her old friends being dragged into Ibiki's interrogation cells just because of an exaggerated coincidence.

And here she was. She slid out of her sandals and walked barefoot up onto the porch. Just as soon as she raised a hand to knock, Neji slid open the door wordlessly. She gave a small smile in greeting, he didn't return the favor but moved aside to let her in. She'd been to Hyuuga Hiashi's estate before, under very different circumstances, but it was still as spacious and beautiful as she remembered.

Waiting as Neji shut the door behind her, she was just about to explain her unexpected visit—

"Nii-san—… Sakura-san, what are you doing here?"

Sakura turned towards the source of the voice. Leave it to Hanabi to get down to the point.

"To see Kiba, actually. I heard he was here. I'm sorry to be intruding at a time like this, it is a little urgent," she explained. She caught the look that transpired between Neji and Hanabi.

Neji's voice was quiet, "He's with Hinata."

Involuntarily, her lips pressed together tightly, although she nodded in understanding. "It will only take a few minutes. Can you tell him to meet me out here, please?" she asked firmly. Hanabi nodded and left, while Neji excused himself after gesturing her to sit on a mat in the front room. She had only a few moments of tatami mats and flower arrangements before Hanabi reentered, informing her that Kiba would be with her shortly. Sakura thanked her and was finally left alone when Hanabi slid the door to the front room shut. Thankfully, Hanabi's father was nowhere to be seen. As time ticked by, Sakura could feel her patience being worn thin, and the gigantic stick up Hiashi's—well, the giant stick up his somewhere—would be the razor to her tautly pulled string. In other words, not good.

Sakura sighed, which only succeeded in making the close air of the room that much more prominent. If only there was a window... A few more agonizing minutes inched past, with her tapping her fingers keeping time against her lap. Finally, with an exasperated hand raking through her hair, she stood up in a huff, charging for the door, only to be greeted by it sliding open with a bang.

OOO

Hanabi's pace slowed as she made her way back to her bedroom. It had been a tiresomely long day. And Sakura-san's sudden arrival had disrupted a little of what peace she had hoped to salvage this night. She sighed. It seemed to be becoming a habit of Sakura-san's, to barge unexpected into their household and cause a genuine ruckus. Hanabi clearly remembered the last time Sakura-san had chosen to interrupt the fragile peace the Hyuugas have always tried to maintain. For some reason, because of some mysterious pattern of thought, Sakura-san chose that moment two years ago to change the history of the Hyuugas forever. And to this day, the head med-nin of Konoha still doesn't seem to understand the enormity of what she'd done.

Hanabi paused at an open window that looked out into their yard, and crossed her arms onto the sill. The night air was crisp, and the warmth of the day like a memory that wasted away unnoticed. Hanabi propped her chin in her hand. Will she remember this night? Will Sakura-san change something again? Probably not…

But this anticipation at the pit of her gut told her that she was expecting it.

That she wanted it.

_She crouched down in expectation, as Neji-nii-san rushed towards her, his Hakke Rokujuuyon Sho imminent. She was prepared, tenseness bridling every fiber of her being although her stance remained elegantly relaxed—_

"_Neji-san!"_

_Both she and Neji-nii-san looked towards the source of the call, even though their Byakugans told them all they needed to know. A slight wrinkle appeared between Nii-san's eyebrows. Confused, his chakra dispersed and he began walking towards the interrupter. Hanabi remained where she was, miffed beyond belief. Nothing could irritate her more than an interrupted training session, and it took a lot to irritate her. Neji-nii-san was always busy, and this was one of the few free moments he had to train with her. _

_But annoyance gave way to curiosity. What was Haruno Sakura doing here? Hanabi observed their quiet conversation with some interest, especially since Sakura-san's face was an alarming contrast from the stoic mask that her cousin was famous for. Konoha's head med-nin looked like she hadn't slept or eaten in a week. And despite that, her animated and urgent gestures radiated an energy that seemed toxic and costly. Hanabi hadn't deactivated her Byakugan, so it was easy to see how Sakura-san was relying on soldier pills to jumpstart her chakra system. Hanabi's eyes narrowed, the veins lining their corners knitting together tightly—why was the tenketsu point at the top of Sakura-san's head so erratic? Perhaps it was the cause of her conspicuously questionable health—_

"_But I'm telling you it's possible!"_

_Startled out of her thoughts, Hanabi blinked rapidly. Sakura-san was now resorting to yelling, although Nii-san still looked unconvinced of whatever Sakura-san was trying to persuade him about. He did, however, look very perturbed… _

"_Just come to the hospital tonight. It will only take an hour, I promise," Sakura-san pleaded urgently. She had reached out to grip Nii-san's wrist tightly. Hanabi raised her eyebrows in surprise—her cousin despised all forms of physical contact that weren't violent, but he seemed to be tolerating Sakura-san's gesture with ease. Neji-nii-san looked torn, although after a few moments, he nodded reluctantly. At this, Sakura-san seemed to relax, her grip loosening on Nii-san's wrist before she dispersed in a flurry of sakura petals. _

_Nii-san stared at the spot where Sakura had disappeared from with a bewitched expression on his face. Hanabi frowned. What had she said to him? _

"_Nii-san," she called out tentatively, after a few moments had passed by in awkward silence. There's only so much time someone can tolerate watching a person gaze dumbly into space, still as a statue. Neji-nii-san visibly broke from his thoughts and turned to her in a rush. "Sorry," he muttered distractedly. He fell back into a defensive stance, Byakugan activated and lining the corners of his opalescent eyes like a deadly warning. Wasting no time, Hanabi rushed at him without any prompt. She didn't fail to notice, however, that she landed a good many more hits on her cousin that she normally ever could. _

_Later that night, Nii-san was away from the compound, no doubt keeping his appointment with Sakura-san. Hanabi also gradually discovered that aside from her, no one else seemed to know about his engagement or seemed to care where he'd had gone. Dinner came and went with no extra attention to the empty space Nii-san would usually occupy. But his absence gnawed at the back of her mind into the ungodly hours of the night. Hanabi found herself still awake, tossing and turning uncomfortably under her blankets when she heard the front door slide open and shut. Her Byakugan confirmed her suspicions. It was Neji-nii-san, creeping in like a guilty delinquent teenager after a day of playing hooky. Hanabi made to throw her covers off and rush downstairs, until she saw the silhouette of her father greet Neji-nii-san. _

_Her Byakugan, unfortunately, couldn't give her access to their quiet and quick conversation, but Neji-nii-san removing his hitai-ate was enough. Her breath caught in her throat._

_There was no longer a curse seal at the center of Nii-san's forehead. _

_So, it was "possible." Haruno Sakura had done what no shinobi had ever dared to do since the consolidation of Konoha's clans. She'd deactivated the Hyuuga Soke no Juinjutsu._

_Neji-nii-san stared defiantly at Hanabi's father—an easy task, as Nii-san had long since bested her father in height. Hanabi looked worriedly at her father, dreading his reaction. Now, she stood up hurriedly, and raced down the long hallway, thundering down the stairway four steps at a time to where Neji-nii-san and Otou-san stood stiffly, facing each other in a blatant battle between authority and independence. Onee-san had also been awoken by the Neji-nii-san's arrival and stood at a doorway, facing the mess before them with a hand clasped over her mouth. _

"_Who did this to you?" _

_Hanabi had never heard such fury in her father's voice before. She grasped the doorway tightly. _

"_Haruno Sakura," Nii-san said, a new edge to his tone, probably acquired with his liberty. _

_Hanabi saw her father's fists clench as words failed him. "Does anyone else know about this?" her father finally demanded._

_Neji-nii-san shook his head, but said, "Sakura will make the deactivation seal available to the rest of the Branch family members soon." Hanabi let out a breath in disbelief. 'Sakura?' No honorific? _

_Words seemed to fail her father as well, although he was turning an alarming shade of red. But Nii-san wasn't finished. _

"_Anyone who tries to threaten Sakura, or hinder her from distributing the seal in any way, will be answering to me," he said with finality. He paused to think for a minute. "After she's finished with them, of course," he added as a side note. _

_Hanabi now her observed her father curiously. She wasn't sure if the shade of red her father face achieved had been named yet. Colors of red aside, her father stormed off in a tightly controlled rush. Onee-san moved for Neji-nii-san now, concern on her face, although it was also graced with a smile of relief. _

"_Nii-san…" _

_For the first time in a long time, both sisters saw Neji smile. _

OOO

Sakura tried not to gag as she pushed Akamaru away for the sixteenth time in the span of four minutes. His dog breath was unusually severe today. Kiba and Akamaru had burst into the room boisterously, gracing her with a jaunty wave and his typically raspy and loud voice. Akamaru merely contributed to the ruckus, and in unison, they graced the Hyuuga household with a cacophony it was usually not accustomed to.

Now, Kiba was stretched out on the floor, obviously exhausted from a long day, blissfully ignorant of Sakura's muted pleas to restrain Akamaru from slobbering spit all over her.

"So, Sakura," he mused lazily, "What's up?"

At this point, Sakura had managed to pin Akamaru in a semi-headlock that needed to be aided by an extra boost of chakra. Huffing a little, finally she breathed, "A couple of questions about a couple of years ago."

Kiba quirked his eyebrows. "Hit me," he acquiesced. He shifted into a sitting position, crossing his legs in front of him. Sakura nodded, releasing Akamaru tentatively. The oversized mongrel stayed where he was, panting happily next to her.

Satisfied, this time she pinned Kiba with a virescent stare. "Did you support Naruto on his mission to Oto three years ago?" Kiba let out a subsequent breath in shock, before giving her an exasperated glance and saying disbelievingly, "Sakura, you're still hung up on that?"

Sakura tried to not let that sting, so she grit her teeth and merely said, "New stuff came up."

Kiba sighed and scratched his head in thought. "Well, I never did like Sasuke completely. Or maybe, I just didn't care enough." He frowned. "But I never ever liked the idea of going." Sakura found herself letting a breath she didn't know she was holding.

"But Hinata believed him," Kiba continued. At this, Sakura felt her insides clench.

"And I believed her. So I went." He laughed a little bit, saying, "Heck, even Akamaru didn't want to go. You couldn't even begin to imagine what kind of trip that was like. And when we started fighting—when Sasuke attacked us out of nowhere—I got separated from Naruto and Shikamaru. Pretty tough battle, that one. I didn't know what happened until you got there." He frowned a little at the memory.

Sakura wasn't finished. "What about before then?" she pressed in a rush. "What about the reconnaissance missions Naruto sent you on?" she paused to take a breath, "To spy on me." Her frown deepened at the utter confusion the blossomed on his face.

"Me? Spy? On _you_?" he sputtered, pointing at himself and then Sakura incredulously. He laughed in astonishment. "Sakura, where the heck do you think these things up?" His laughing was cut short, when a bunch of papers produced from her pocket flew from Sakura's hand with frightening force and hit him square in the face. "Hey!" he cried out in surprise, swatting at the papers. His laughter died away rather quickly however, as the ANBU number staring up at him from the papers caught his attention and alarm. He looked up at Sakura's unsmiling face in confusion. "Is this some kind of joke?" Sakura didn't respond, but the humorless expression on her face was enough to convince him otherwise.

He studied the mission reports more thoroughly, a hand straying near his mouth as he chewed on his fingernails nervously. Sakura searched his face as she would during an interrogation (well, the few she had conducted in the hospital on enemy shinobi too injured to be incarcerated). From what she could tell, in this light, there was a genuine expression of curiosity on his face as his eyes scanned the papers repeatedly. She'd come here hoping for a mistake in judgment, and here it was, confirmed.

So why did she feel even more unsettled?

"Sure," Kiba said finally. "It's my number, but look at these dates." He lined the papers on the ground side-by-side and pointed to each of them. "I was out of commission during these dates with a shattered leg and collapsed lung, and for these dates," he pointed to the remaining papers, "I switched my number." He looked at Sakura earnestly. "You've got to believe me," he beseeched her, accurately reading the expression on her face. "You can check it all up at the hospital and the ANBU archives," he said earnestly.

Sakura frowned, but didn't linger on the subject. Fire questions at the subject of interrogation rapidly, to keep them from thinking too long.

"You visited me quite an awful lot when I was in a coma," she deadpanned. If Kiba was lying he should be sweating under her gaze at this point, but he was clean; scrunched eyebrows were the only sign of his frustration. That, and he was starting to chew on his lip with his right canine—a sign that he was annoyed.

"Hinata asked me to," he said without hesitation or laughter this time. He easily gauged the solemnity of Sakura's questions and decided to respond to them as such. "But don't tell her I told you, she wanted to keep it a secret from you. She was worried about you, and made me promise not to tell." He scowled, "Well, I kept that promise up till now." Sakura waited. Kiba seemed to think hard for a bit, and then said suddenly, "Oh! I remember that I napped a lot when I visited you. Sorry." He ran a hand through his raggedy brown hair as he apologized. "I was really tired then," he explained. Akamaru snuffed loudly next to her in agreement.

Sakura felt herself getting increasingly nervous with every question Kiba answered. Was it all just a big mistake? Was she back to square one? Her eyes narrowed. But why this feeling that she was closer to the truth than before?

"And you wanted Naruto buried quickly instead of waiting for an autopsy?" she then asked.

To this question, Kiba's face was finally overcome with the weight of the past. Observing his change of expression, Sakura thought wryly, 'Yes, Kiba. I'm still hung up over it…'

'But so are you.'

"Yeah," he said finally. Akamaru gave a small woof and snuggled closer to Sakura. Kiba gave a small laugh to hide his discomfort, "That's a smell I've tried to forget for a long time now." Akamaru now stood and padded over to Kiba, whose hand stroked the dog's thick white coat absentmindedly.

"I still remember it easily. And believe me, the smell of the dead is terrible. But nothing is as bad as the smell of a dead friend," he mumbled. He gave a sigh, shook his head as if the clear his head, and then focused on her with a pair of dark, tired eyes. "Anything else, Sakura?"

She studied him carefully.

Somehow, her heart felt so dry.

"No. Nothing else. Thanks, Kiba," she said finally.

OOO

Sunlight was breaking over the horizon when Sakura finally left the compound. She'd insisted on staying longer, healing any subsidiary wounds Hinata had received on her ill-fated mission with her genin team. Ambushed by rogue Iwa-nins, Hinata had strained her Byakugan fatally to protect her students. Her clan had refused to let her be admitted into Konoha Hospital, due to the delicate and private nature of the Byakugan. Instead, they decided to keep her within the Hyuuga compound, healing her eyes with methods only known to the Hyuuga clan. Although, the operations seemed to be so strong, they placed Hinata in temporary comas frequently. The shy kunoichi was unconscious as Sakura began some rudimentary healing on bruises that should've been healed the moment she arrived back in Konoha. Sakura glared at the adjacent room where Hiashi-san skulked. The Hyuuga head usually refused to meet her eyes any more, especially after she chased him out of her hospital office that memorable day two years ago. He'd fled when she began laying down threats of placing a familiar curse seal on his forehead, which she'd conveniently learned how to administer in her quest to deactivate it. If he ever came around again, demanding that she cease and desist deactivating the seals on Hyuuga Branch members' foreheads, she'd see to it that her threats were made into reality.

Damn Hyuugas and their foolish pride. Her eyebrow had twitched upwards wryly. On that note, as she was reminded of a certain old teammate dragging his sorry behind around in Otokagure, damn all clans and their foolish pride.

Sakura turned off the main road, choosing to skim her boots through dew-laced grass fields. She meandered onto a shortcut that cut through a farm and two woody fields. Pausing at the fenced meadow, she leaned against the wood posts as she ripped up some grass to feed the two gentle-eyed cows grazing there.

Sighing, she swung herself onto the fence, sitting on it lightly. The cows merely continued to graze, now and then rubbing their cheeks against her knees. She patted their crowns distractedly.

Hinata still wore her engagement ring.

Breathing out slowly, Sakura closed her eyes and twisted the grass remaining in her hand. It didn't take much effort to remember the night Hinata had stopped by her apartment those many years ago, nearly in tears, apologizing for stealing Naruto away, and asking for her permission to marry Naruto.

Sakura looked up at the tree-laden horizon. The sun was still busy chasing away mauve and cobalt remnants of night…

There were so many Sasuke had harmed in passing, just to get to Naruto.

Sakura stood, and tight-walked the length of fence to the woods that bordered the clearing, waving goodbye to the preoccupied cows. Morning mist beckoned to her from the trees, inviting her small, unobtrusive figure in.

They were similar, she and Hinata—in their love of the same man, they could understand each other more than anyone else. Especially, since both haven't been able to let go. She sighed and hopped over a shrub, its small leaves scratching against her calves.

Morning air was energizing her tired body. Sakura leapt for the top of a nearby tree, swinging through its many branches easily. She landed in a crouch on her branch of choice, resolve hardening the lines around her mouth and eyes.

The genjutsu Sasuke had ensnared Naruto with didn't make a difference here. Whether or not he'd roped in Hinata under the genjutsu's influence, it was a situation Naruto alone would need to take full responsibility for when he came back—

If he came back.

Sakura flung herself into the air before twisting and landing on the leaf-littered ground. She breathed steadily, and bent to pick up a fallen leaf, twisting it by the stem so that it dissolved into a blur of yellow, brown and green.

As she told Hinata then, as she knew now, she would look for her purpose in life elsewhere, even if it meant loving Naruto from afar. Sakura knew that she couldn't bring herself to hinder Hinata from finding her happiness, and had told the trembling girl so when she'd shown up at Sakura's door, immediately bowing low in apology. Alarmed, Sakura had yanked her up, scolding her lightly for apologizing for things she didn't have to feel sorry for. Over a few cups of tea, the Hyuuga heiress had tearfully admitted how guilty she was about capturing Naruto's attention and about how Naruto treats Sakura, at which point she bowed low again, accidently dipping her bangs into her tea. Sakura could only express her gratefulness at Hinata's concern and her hopes that from this point on, Hinata would continue living happily, without worrying so much about Naruto's ex-girlfriends.

_('I'm a big girl,' Sakura said, grinning nonchalantly, 'I can take care of myself.' Wiping her eyes, Hinata gave a shaky smile in return)._

Sakura let the leaf drift slowly from her fingers. Looking back, she could see the sun making headway over the fading leaves.

I'm a big girl.

She turned abruptly, gradually settling into a run towards her apartment, Neji's parting words to her as she left echoing in her head.

"_Sakura. It could be just like last time—he'll somehow know where we are and ambush us. Only this time, there won't be any backup."_

OOO

As he trudged up the stairs to his office, Shikamaru wished desperately for a way to rip his head from his body and still function. He couldn't remember the last time he had a hangover this severe. Kami—he didn't even feel like smoking.

Groaning, he shut his eyes blearily as he felt for the handle of his door. It was unheard of, he mused, for a Hokage to have to come in so early in the afternoon. He breathed out low and pushed open the entrance to his ten-hour prison cell.

She was waiting for him, freshly showered and exhausted, on her favorite perch, the windowsill.

"Good afternoon," she said quietly.

Shikamaru just looked at her and sighed. The sunlight from that window—sunrise or sunset—always seemed to fit her. He trudged in, shutting the door behind him with the heel of his boot. Sakura watched his performance expressionlessly, although she was tempted to start clapping when he finally collapsed into his chair. Tilting his chair onto its back legs, he stretched his neck from side to side laboriously, groaning out, "You didn't sleep at all, did you?"

Sakura shrugged wordlessly, more occupied with the outside view of Konoha than with reporting her daily movements. Shikamaru took her silence in stoically. On other days, he could tolerate her reticence for hours on end, but his alcohol-induced headache just simply refused to let him string two words together without suffering in some excruciating way. He swiveled around to face Sakura, eyeing her critically.

"What's new?" he finally asked. He studied her profile warily. Her hesitation in answering only confirmed his suspicions; something was up—

Which was also why he felt his breath catch in his throat when she finally turned to look at him deeply, her beryl eyes more like fathomless glimpses of the sea than pools of still water. Whatever she said next, he knew intrinsically, he wasn't going to like. He kept himself from cringing as she took a preparatory breath.

"Sasuke knows we're coming," she said finally, her voice low and toneless.

Shikamaru suddenly felt, with the bittersweet satisfaction of those who are seconds from death, whatever remained of his brain shrivel up and die. At first, he could do nothing but stare at her, his mouth parted in disbelief like a rotting fish, but as time passed, his IQ points seemed to steadily return.

"How?" he finally managed. Sakura frowned. "I can't explain it. Call it shinobi's intuition," she said faintly. She bit her lips anxiously. She couldn't tell Shikamaru anything at this point. Especially when she wasn't entirely sure of anything herself.

Shikamaru seemed to freeze in thought. Lips pale, he asked slowly, "Is… Naruto…? Is he…?"

Sakura gave him a weak smile. "No, he's still alive." Shikamaru let out a premature small, shaky breath. It was immediately stilled when he caught the new expression on her face.

"But something's changed," she whispered meditatively. Her gaze turned inward, her face frozen towards the floor, she swallowed heavily to relieve her dry mouth. "When I open the seal in my head… There's no more pain. It's just… Quiet." Sakura shut her eyes tightly as if to shut herself off from herself. Shikamaru just studied her grimly—what else could he do? When she opened her eyes again, there she was—as clear-sighted, if a tad tired, as she always should be.

"Is that necessarily a bad thing?" he asked tentatively, breaking the heavy quiet.

Sakura leveled her steady gaze on him, giving a little decisive shake of her head, "Something's not right." There was a quietness to the look in her eyes—a stillness that was equally haunting and foreboding. Then, Sakura was back to staring out at Konoha's rooftops again, although this time her brow was pinched broodingly.

"During the war meeting, you decided to leave in a week?" The firmness of her voice against the stillness that settled around them startled Shikamaru a bit. It was like steel swiping through air. He gave a nod. He saw Sakura shake her head again before she said—

"We need to leave tonight."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The last rays of sunlight were still strong as they began to recede into the treetops that outlined Konoha's skyline. Sakura squinted against their intrusive radiance and brought a hand up to shield her eyes. Glimmering dust swirled around her feet as she headed back to her apartment. The sluggishness of her pace was an accomplishment to no one but her, since the simple thought of what lay ahead had the power to make her feet freeze in trepidation. The near future had haunted her all afternoon. As much as she had tried to distance herself from the offensive, defensive, and retreat strategies she spent hours reviewing with Shikamaru, thoughts of her former teammates permeated her mind like a stubborn disease.

It wasn't until she was sending discreet notices about the change in schedule to Kakashi, Neji, Sai, Ino, Kiba, Tenzo, and Rock Lee, that she realized her entire day had passed her by. Her world was moving faster than she was. And it just made her feel tired. And so much more submissive to the pull of time.

She was just drifting.

Afterwards, she'd retreated to the hospital to keep her thoughts quiet and her hands busy. Shikamaru, upon finding out, sent four of his ANBU to chase her away with the warning that if she didn't rest, he'd personally see to it that she be drugged into slumber. Her lips twisted ironically, 'As if I wasn't already?' A frown quickly erased her grin, however sardonic it was. The thought of leaving Konoha behind so abruptly, making it vulnerable to the mercy of her unsolved mystery… Her gut boiled in failure and the familiar backlash of being torn between obligations. She just hoped that it would be solved on this mission, or still waiting for her when she got back, because she was wiling to eke out any last scrap of strength she had for the justice needed on the matter.

Sakura took her time. Her feet scuffed through the dry dirt roads, while her hands lay quiet deep within her pockets. Staring blankly at the ground in front of her, she barely registered the dying rays of the sun carrying warmth to her back. Looking up, she hesitated at the start of a quiet shortcut to her home—a tree-lined one she'd usually take after a hard day at the hospital. Turning, she instead chose to make her way through the busy, people-laden paths of Konoha. But after a while of putting one foot before the other, chatter and noise melding into a nondescript buzz around her, she realized she wasn't even walking in the right direction anymore. She paused, meaning to turn around and begin a more self-conscious trek back onto the roads that led correctly to her apartment… Her figure stayed still however, even as her feet shuffled in preparation into the dust. A strong gust of wind, rushing from behind her in a sudden stream, suddenly encased her completely. Stumbling one step forward before she steadied herself against the gale, her hair broke loose from its weak tie and danced before her eyes, like long streamers to some music she could only see no matter how hard she strained her ears. Stray leaves, still green, made their way down the street, carried by the breeze, dancing above heads, between bodies—unnoticed, but there.

Sakura felt people nudge past her, their shoulders brushing softly against hers as they swerved to avoid crashing into her completely—

She was in the way.

_If she'd done more… _

Sakura slowly turned around.

_If only she'd done more to stop him from going… _

…

_It was all her fault. _

She felt her feet shift, her legs move, her body sink into a beat she could only follow—and pray for a reasonable destination.

_Protect the Hokage. _

She was breaking into a run now, hair flowing in rose-colored waves behind her.

_Protect Konoha. _

Weaving her way through heavy crowds, she was soon thundering back the way she came, all thoughts of preparing for the journey ahead left behind to settle into the dust she kicked up. She skidded to a stop at the foot of the Hokage Monument, but only for a moment. Next breath, she was scaling her way up the craggy façade, feet and hands using every jutting rock and incidental crevice within reach to aid her momentum upwards. Tsunade's forehead was her last stop before she flipped onto the top of her former shishou's head, landing on both feet lightly. The wind up here was stronger, fervent, unabashed, unrestrained, unhindered…

Free.

Breathing deeply, reveling in the fresh air's beckoning towards liberty, she slowly turned to face Konoha's rooftops.

The sight wasn't beautiful in any aesthetic sense. How could it be, when the high sun made sure every flaw, every untidy yard, every bit of cracked cement, every broken roof stand stark against the perfection that was the green of the treetops that lined their silhouettes.

But still…

It was, to this day, possibly the most beautiful sight she'd ever had the chance to lay her eyes on.

Or it was because of the man who'd first brought her here and opened her eyes to what she was really protecting.

She slowly sank down, hugging her knees tight against her chest. She couldn't deny it any longer—the way her heart thudded pitifully against the fortress of grief, anger, guilt, and self-loathing surrounding it at the possibility of him still being alive. Sakura sighed and brought her chin to rest on her folded arms, eyes distant as the dimming light brought out the gray hues in them.

Was this some form of relief?

_It all had been just a misunderstanding… _

But perhaps…

Admittedly, she'd have to think extra hard to imagine a future between herself and Naruto, if they did all come out of this debacle alive.

But still…

Even the mere thought of being immersed in that love again—his love again—had her heart stirring knowingly, as if it had just simply been biding its time, only now brushing away the cobwebs that had settled into its anguish-stricken immobility.

'Useless,' she grumbled to herself, pressing a cold hand to her chest as if to further engulf her heart in ice. The wind helped some, toying with her clothes and hair, as if to engulf her in a rush and take her away… Somewhere else. Her eyes pored into the horizon, narrowing against the sharp breeze.

Anywhere else.

Her gaze grew even more solemn, as she took a deep breath and prodded the inner seal marking the joint jutsu between him and herself. Sakura's eyes closed in concentration, listening with her entire being, unable to notice how her lips tightened in concern.

Just as she feared.

It was still deathly quiet… Although—

She felt him.

She knew his heartbeat, could feel his breathing—

A harsh breath slowly escaped from her lips.

They were different. They were wholly and inexplicably different. Just like last time she tried making her way to him, before she had met Shikamaru this morning... Breaking her focus on the telepathic jutsu, beryl eyes snapped open suddenly. Sakura let out a breath, shoulders sinking from the sudden lack of support. Tiredly, she ran a hand through her hair, tucking a few bothersome strands behind her ears, while the rest raged in a stream behind her. Dread tore through her gut—what could have possibly happened for them to end up like this, and what else could happen to ruin them more?

Team 7…

If anyone had told the twelve-year-old her that she would one day shudder at the thought of seeing her teammates, she would have simple laughed flippantly.

_('Even if we're thousands of miles away, we could always reach other…')_

She shook her head. Her recent newfound friends—those impromptu and intrusive flashbacks of late—were steadily weakening. Their recent frequency in number, however, had left her wondering whether or not she was in fact the culprit behind reawakening these old memories, and not the seal worming its way around the crown of her mind. It wasn't a farfetched possibility. To be honest, she might even miss those moments she'd spent with him if they strayed too far out of her reach—

She suddenly stiffened and gritted her teeth in self-disgust.

Stupid girl.

(She never could let go, could she?)

Sakura stood up slowly, brushing off the seat of her pants. This feeling… Was this what it felt like—to feel your future sinking its claws into your shoulders and dragging you towards it, leaving a trail of blood and tears behind in your wake?

(Not fully, not really.)

Her slumped posture straightened as she took a few deep breaths.

_Where are you? _

She slowly turned, and saw him running towards her, coattails flying behind him, jounin vest an absolute mess… His smile. That day, he'd pulled her into his tight embrace, which told her quite plainly that he'd missed her every second they were apart. Pushing him away lightheartedly, all the while slipping her hand gently into his, she had told him to start penning his own sappy romance series instead of trying to enact them with her. His resulting guffaw had shaken the fences they were walking by, even though the dried blood on his face, hands and clothes told a far different story…

_Will you find me? _

Leaning against each other on a warm spring day, watching the sun rise after a hard day and night's worth of work, he'd once nonchalantly suggested they name their first child, 'Yuriko.' He'd ducked under her swing while promising loudly and frantically to do half the housework.

_Naruto…_

(She silently hoped he could hear her).

_I'm so tired, even when I try not to be._

Shifting her head slightly, she glanced to her right—north. Where he was.

Where they were.

Her gaze hardened, becoming cold and even a tad agitated. Her hands clenched into tight fists.

She wasn't one for revenge… The word itself left a bitter taste in her mouth, thanks to the Uchiha brat, but she'd make Sasuke pay somehow—

For taking away three years of her life—

By tearing away the man who'd become her other half.

The lines around her mouth and eyes tightened, her suddenly glassy eyes squinting rebelliously as she whispered—

"Baka."

OOO

Gaara placed his pen down slowly. He had paused midway through signing his signature when he felt it—this change in the wind. He stood slowly and walked towards the small porthole that served as the window to his office, arms folding across his chest habitually. His teal eyes remained emotionless as he stared off into the surrounding desert, but the sand that began swirling agitatedly around his ankles indicated otherwise.

As soon as clouds suddenly began to mar the sunlight that stretched over the expanse of sand within sight, his eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

_Sakura. _

OOO

Her apartment felt colder and more quiet than usual. But Sakura brushed the thought aside as she kneeled beside her bed, preparing her hip pouch and kunai holster. She'd found herself amassing every single weapon she currently possessed onto her bedspread, digging deep through the recesses of her closet to make sure she hadn't missed any stray shuriken or senbon. Storing them all in travel-convenient scrolls proved to be a pleasantly mind-numbing task. After picking out any weapons that were dull or broken, she was finished packing within a few minutes.

Making her way towards her closet, Sakura yanked open its door and pulled out her jounin vest, armor, and scroll holsters. She quickly zipped into her vest, popping a few scrolls from her bedspread into their chest pockets. After sending her chakra through her calf, arm, and shoulder armor, double-checking for any weak points, she strapped them on tightly, frowning all the while. She hated wearing armor more than Neji hated cutting his hair. But, these trusty sheets of metal and bone had saved her life a few times in the past, so she felt better prepared for the worst to come by having them safely on her.

After her armor came her bursting full kunai holster and hip pouch. And when those were secure at her waist and thigh, her fingerless gloves were slipped onto her waiting hands. Cracking her knuckles for good measure, she gave her fingers a stretch. She hadn't worn them since returning from Suna, since her training had been limited to experimenting with a couple of jutsus she'd been poking at, rather than sparring.

She was unaware of the grin that lit up the corners of her mouth. It felt good to have them on her hands again.

She bent to sling her scroll holster around her waist, buckling it tightly. The six scrolls waiting on her bed were then slipped into their respective slots around the outsides of her thighs. Quickly pulling her hair into a low ponytail, her much shorter bangs falling to brush against her cheekbones, she made her way to her bedroom door, before suddenly realizing how naked her forehead felt. Finished with tying her hair, her fingers trailed thoughtfully over her eyebrows, lingering for a few seconds over the green diamonds staining her skin. Resolutely, she turned and made her way back to her closet. Opening the door, she shifted a few hangers aside before finding what she was looking for. From a hook deep in the back corner of her closet hung her old red hitae-ate. Her hands hesitated as they reached out for the scrap of red cloth and worn metal, pausing more than once in their journey towards this remnant of her past. Fingers finally grasped the cloth gently, its familiarity prompting Sakura to close her eyes and breath out in nostalgia. Eyes still closed, she tugged—it easily slipped into her hand. She slowly brought it to her forehead, hands stiffer than usual as they slipped behind her head to tie a secure knot. Her hands fell back to her sides. She could almost remember its weight on her head, although then she had worn it as a headband.

Only Naruto had tied it around his forehead.

Moving away from her closet, it wasn't until she stood before the mirror in her bathroom that she opened her eyes.

Noting stubborn dark circles that stood stark from her too-pale skin, she looked at her reflection with a slight frown. Deep emerald eyes stared back at her pensively. As far as she could tell, they still held some kind of light—some kind of earnestness to live that could only be molded into determination. She bid her reflection farewell.

The trek out of her bedroom was interrupted by the faces smiling and scowling out at her from their frame on her dresser. At a safe distance, she simply gazed at the picture. Thoughts and emotions failed her, as they usually did when she took the time to look at the deviously foreboding snapshot of her childhood—one she still kept simply because she never had the courage to throw it away. Her gaze hardened considerably as she made her way towards what Team 7 used to be, what it can never again be, footsteps getting heavier as her hand began to reach out…

She pulled the picture frame facedown, her eyelids following suit.

She couldn't watch herself do this.

Without turning back for a second glance, she closed the bedroom door behind her.

As she shut off the lights to her apartment one by one, she couldn't help but wonder how different she'll be if she does make it back to turn these switches on again. Would she be the same? Or scarred, bitter, helpless… Once again a fool? She gave her dear little apartment one last, long, lingering look as she disappeared behind her front door, never realizing how much more forlorn it was without her in it.

OOO

Early morning's mist had just begun to coat the ground, the only touch of light in the darkness. Early autumn chill seeped into her bones as she waited in the shade of a tree just outside of Konoha's gates—far enough to make discovery by any of Konoha's patrols difficult, yet close enough to make a decent rendezvous point. Leaning onto great scratchy tree trunk, Sakura knew she was early, but for the life of her couldn't fathom why. Maybe it was a good sign—that she'd finally forgotten how to run away from her problems. Those wishes of just letting her feet, hands, or mind take her far away still haunted her every waking moment, but somehow they couldn't be translated into actions anymore. Did she have this whole mess to thank? She sighed and shifted her weight onto her other leg, looking up to give Kakashi a small smile in greeting.

"Yo, again," he said simply, visible eye crinkled in a weary attempt at a half-moon.

Sakura supposed she wasn't alone in being early for something she didn't want to be early for. Kakashi leaned onto the tree beside her, his precious Icha Icha Paradise noticeably absent. Hands deep in his pockets, he looked disinterestedly ahead. Sakura studied what parts of his face were visible out of the corner of her eye.

Yep. The old geezer hadn't slept a wink.

Wordlessly, Sakura moved closer to Kakashi, mimicking his oh-so-casual lean against their tree, hands deep in her pockets, making sure their shoulders were touching. What strength they could lend each other, even though it was possible that neither of them had any left to lend, was maybe enough for this fragile, peaceful moment. Words weren't needed; they already understood each other's trepidation, nostalgia…

And their foolish, helpless hope.

Kakashi tilted his head towards her. She turned to look back at him with an expressionless gaze, dying moonlight highlighting the high planes of her cheeks and the lines at the corners of her eyes. The corners of his lips lifted, although it didn't reach his visible, solemn, gray eye.

"I've missed that red hitae-ate of yours," he said quietly, flicking the metal playfully with his forefinger. "It's always suited you, somehow."

Her face didn't change, revealing nothing about the sudden pang of emptiness she felt in reaction to his nonchalant statement. But she found herself staring at that face of his, so concealed by his insecurities and guilt, and that stupid mask… This familiar face… Even when he turned away to look at their arriving teammates…

It shouldn't have been enough to shake her… It wasn't enough. So, why, then, did she suddenly feel herself fighting this tightness in her throat, and this heaviness in her eyes?

A heavy arm was suddenly thrown around her shoulders, pulling her roughly away from her comfortable tree. A cranky, "Forehead!" that was accompanied by a heavy yawn helped Sakura regain a firmer grip on herself. Ino leaned against her heavily as she mumbled into her shoulder, complaining, "Why the heck does it have to be this damn early in the morning?" Sakura refused to answer, but let Ino remain drooling in an impromptu nap on her shoulder armor. Rock Lee gave her an earnest salute, while Neji simply nodded. Sai appeared behind her, touching her elbow gently in greeting. He knelt as he waited, one hand hiding half of his face—his method of biding time. Tenzo was next to arrive, "Yamato-taichou," was at the tip of her tongue before she quickly corrected herself; Sakura still found it difficult to attribute him with any other name, even his real one. Kiba and Akamaru landed with a moderately loud crash, disappearing in a cloud of disturbed dust. Once it cleared, he raised a hand and winked at Sakura. Sakura hid a frown—Kiba would usually wink at her and she'd never think anything of it. So why did she suddenly feel like decking him? A gloved hand came up to press a few cold fingertips against the metal of her hitae-ate, under which the chakra diamonds on her forehead pulsed.

What the hell was wrong with her this morning?

Her hand slowly returned to her side as she ignored Ino's slight snoring. She looked around at everyone—this motley crew of armor, steel, and blood-soaked hands wiped clean. Kiba was snickering behind his hand, Akamaru's lips bared in a permanent dog smile, while Rock Lee emphasized something he was saying with wide eyes and flailing hands—his loyal, if reluctant, teammate stoically meditating beside him. She couldn't see them, but she felt Sai, Kakashi, and Tenzo behind her, making small talk as they adjusted armor and weapons, and stretched out stiff muscles.

We were all still capable of smiling.

Akamaru barked. Ino had woken up, surprisingly, and movements were being made by everyone to leave—

Sakura jumped, dragging Ino by the arm with her. Ignoring Ino's yelp of protest, she saw Sai and Kakashi leap into the air with her. Neji and Tenzo had also moved away from their spots and were now safely nestled in the branches of the trees closest to them. Rock Lee, Kiba, and Akamaru on the other hand, remained stiffly attached to the ground, although the agitation in their faces belied more than mere paralysis.

Six streaks of shadow retreated to Shikamaru's feet. Hands deep in his pockets, he grinned, "Three out of eight—not too shabby." Sakura realized that Ino was a lot faster than she remembered, as she flitted away in a blonde blur to give Shikamaru a whopping slap across the head. While Shikamaru nursed his forehead, under siege by Ino's idiosyncratic way with words, everyone comfortably returned to land, or were released from Shikamaru's Kage Jutsu, and took places around the Hokage. Sakura lingered a small distance away, since there was really no point in reviewing what she herself had helped make.

Ino having settled, Shikamaru began his briefing: as a simple infiltration mission, their objective was to get into Sasuke's lair, get Naruto, and get out. As Oto had already declared war on Konoha, simply reclaiming a citizen couldn't really make matters worse. Their aim was to do the job as quietly as possible, which meant with as little casualties as possible, in order to uphold their no-kill nindo. Here, Shikamaru sighed—if they were suddenly overwhelmed however, and maiming and/or knocking out became futile, he was leaving it up to them to do what they must. And if they were overwhelmed, a hawk should be sent immediately for backup.

Shikamaru looked at them all pensively. He wished them luck and a safe return home.

That was the only way of combining a preemptive permanent, 'Goodbye,' with one that could be followed up with another, 'Hello,' sometime in the future. Each ninja nodded. They were each used to it now.

Dirt began to stir as feet began moving for the trek northwest. Chatter was subdued and distracted as they all tried to ignore the gravity and personal sting of the mission. Tenzo and Neji took the lead as they began to one-by-one pick up their pace.

She hesitated though, her feet shuffling as her mind raged for her to move for the front—where she should be. She moved to make a steady step forward, but a firm hand on her shoulder seemed to save her for that wind-tinged uncertainty. Shikamaru kept his voice low.

"Never forget," his voice fading for a moment, "To come back home."

The warmth of his hand moved away from the coldness of her shoulder armor, to the flak-vested crook of her neck, where it tightened once before loosening, letting her go. Step-by-step she moved farther away, her footfalls steady—as if she'd never been plagued by doubt.

She didn't look back—it would have seemed too insubstantial… And she'd memorized the view already. She could see their faces if she shut her eyes… Konoha's, Shikamaru's… All waiting.

Her boots fell into a fierce rhythm as she caught up to her teammates—

Her friends.

Shikamaru had always been one of the more articulate soldiers out there…

Her hand came up to grip the left side of her chest tightly, her gloved fingers clawing into the rough green material.

Where her heart beat steadily.

OOO

Kakashi was grateful for the ten-minute break Neji and Tenzo had called for—there was a crick in his neck he had unsuccessfully tried to crack for the last few miles. He'd long since given up, since there was only one person in his world who could do the job correctly.

As the rest of the team leaned against the surrounding trees, popping soldier pills and washing their dry mouths out with water, Kakashi made directly for the medic-nin who had been trailing behind at the back of the group since they'd left Konoha. She was slumped against a large boulder, absentmindedly sipping from her canteen. He squatted in front of her and patted her head to get her attention. She looked at him knowingly, hands already moving for his poor, tense neck. The pain relieving bit by bit, he sighed thankfully, taking the time to study his former student. She didn't give any sign of noticing his pensive fixation on her face, her gaze as distracted as his was focused. His little girl had a lot on her mind, obviously…

Kakashi frowned behind his mask. There was one day when he'd accidently been in the vicinity of one their many fights—Sakura, long-suffering; Naruto, more aggressive than necessary. He'd been just outside the Hokage office, about to report in a mission success. His hand had frozen on the doorknob as he heard—

"_Why'd you give up on him?" Naruto's voice was desperate, furious, and accusatory. _

_Sakura—clearly at the edge of what patience she had left—kept her voice low, although that did nothing to hide the anger that strained her voice, "Why are you so sure he's changed? Have you forgotten how those who care about him usually end up dying? And they usually end up dying by_ his hand!_" Agitated stomping noises indicated her withdrawal from this battle—something Kakashi knew firsthand as something the precocious med-nin despised doing. _

_She had paused at the door, her parting words, "And I'm not sorry to say that I'd like to imagine that my last moments will be a little bit more meaningful than the culmination of a wasted life on someone who will never, ever change."_

_Sakura burst out of the office in a rush, not bothering to shut the door behind her. Too preoccupied, she didn't notice Kakashi, instead storming past him down the hall, white coattails and pink hair streaming behind her like an errant wind. When she disappeared around the bend of the hallway, Kakashi silently entered the office. He wordlessly observed the scene before him. Naruto was bent double over his desk, his fists clenched tightly in two small craters dented into the wood. Kakashi sighed and shut the door closed behind him, musing regretfully—_

_So much drama. _

Kakashi refocused on the girl in front of him. Her white coat was nowhere to be seen, even though Sakura would make a habit of wearing it on long or serious missions. His gaze grew soft as he took in her large emerald eyes and sallow cheeks. No—there was a young lady in front of him. Said young lady gave his cheek a light pat to indicate that she was finished. A rare smile touched the sides of her mouth—a comforting one, even if she didn't mean for it to be. Nevertheless, Kakashi was grateful.

Tenzo and Neji motioned the break's end. Everyone quietly adjusted their packs, shoes, and gear, and a few seconds later, Sakura was once again lagging behind at the rear of the group. Only this time, she was not alone—

She gave Kakashi a quizzical glance. He simply gave her a quick pat on the head, accompanied by one of his trademark half-moon smiles.

While they were both here, they might as well not be alone, he thought.

Sakura grinned and shook her head, the workings of his brain still a mystery to her. She leapt forward, Kakashi following close beside her. As the wind rushed past their forms and the tree-lined obstacle course of Konoha's forest steadily gave way to flatter land and less prominent plant life, Kakashi found himself blithely admitting that he didn't want to take this mission. He'd been more than tempted to make it the first mission he'd ever refused. But he only needed to look at her face, and remember the other two's faces, to know how impossible that was.

But still…

He stole a glance at her small figure, bedecked in armor and bristling with weapons. Were it not for the pink hair, he could have easily mistaken her for a member from his old ANBU platoon.

It was just a quiet moment, one easily overlooked by the quiet and heavy, running-induced breathing of everyone else, but…

He knew then, that he might not have been able to stand this mission without her.

OOO

Nightfall fell swift and without warning. The distance between Oto and Konoha was a mere hiccup, but the group had taken care to be seen by no one and nothing.

They reached the border between Oto and Konoha too easily and too fast. They were trying to avoid any Oto-nins, or Oto-affiliated nins, as much as possible, in fear of raising an alarm. However, Sakura found herself itching for a fight and wondering where it was.

As they were settling in for one last stop before they reached Sasuke's fort, she caught herself pacing pensively at the edge of the clearing while the others stretched and ate a quick dinner. Soon sick of staring at dirt, stones and sticks, she leapt for the top of the hill they had taken refuge beneath. The air was much lighter up here. She took in a deep breath, although it left her body much too quickly. Slumping to the ground as a result, she sat down heavily.

"Sakura."

She looked up—

_His eyes were more tired than she'd ever seen them. She quickly moved for him, taking his hand and leading him to her sofa to rest. Half-running to the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water and returned to see him rubbing his large, capable hands over his eyes and then through his hair in frustration. But he took the glass of water from her with a small smile and gulped the contents down while she sat beside him. Only when the water glass was on the coffee table, just as drained as he seemed to be, did she ask, "What's the matter?" _

_He didn't move to look straight at her, instead reaching for her hand instead, holding it carefully between his. "Do you remember when you caught up to me in the Land of Iron? When you said—," he paused before starting again, "When you said you loved me?" _

_It took her a few clumsy seconds to form a coherent answer; she hadn't been so caught by surprise in a very long time. Her face, unfortunately, was an open book before she could close it—confusion was plainly etched into her features. "Naruto—that was quite a while ago—" _

"_No," he whispered, cutting her off. "Do you remember when I told you I hated people who lied to themselves?" _

_Sakura's eyebrows scrunched a little at the uncomfortable memory. Naruto's eyes were quick to catch this and tightened as if in pain. She had barely registered that she'd moved when she'd noticed how her hand was immediately reaching for his shoulder to comfort him. _

"_Yes," she said slowly, "I do." She looked at him quizzically, "But why-?" _

"_I never apologized to you for that." _

_She stared, unsure of what to say or whether she should say anything. She quickly looked down at her lap, suddenly hating this moment, hating that he was apologizing to her, hating that she had to be the one to forgive him… It should be the other way around. _

"_It's alright," she heard herself say anyway. "We were young and troubled," she said softly. She fixed him with a warm, yet penetrating, stare. His gaze mirrored hers. It was her turn to ask the questions…_

"_Do you still think that I was lying to you then?"_

_Naruto's eyes flicked away too quickly for her comfort. But she couldn't peel her gaze from his face, no matter how much she wanted to. And when he slowly did turn to look back at her, she knew why… Awash in the insecurities and hurts he so rarely let himself give into, he said carefully, slowly, "If you weren't… I'm glad." _

Sakura frowned into her knees, her face long since buried into them, her arms wrapped protectively around herself. The wind wasn't reaching her here. It was getting too hot in this forsaken country. She flicked away a kunai from her pouch and proceeded to rip the sleeves from her long sleeved shirt, tucking the shorn cloth away in her pouch just in case she didn't have enough bandages readily available in the near future.

Breeze cooling the sticky skin on her arms, she frowned …

(Was it then that things began to go wrong?)

She was turning back to camp, thoughts far from the reach of her hands or her pounding feet. Would she just keep on running, chasing after her memories, if she didn't have others waiting for her?

(Or were they just never meant to be?)

OOO

Sai appraised Sakura's form coolly as she slipped back to camp, weak moonlight following her shadow. Most of the team was napping in preparation for the mission. Sakura didn't seem to notice him. She just slumped beside Kakashi's meditating form and began readjusting the contents of her pouch. It was only then that Sai noticed the paleness of Sakura's arms. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen them, as she usually hid her figure underneath an extra baggy jounin uniform. As a ray of moonlight moved over her arms, his quick eyes then caught the deep scars lining her left bicep.

His eyebrows drew together as he remembered how pensively Naruto had used to stare at the scratch marks staining her skin.

Sakura had noticed, too, apparently. Once she'd realized that the cells underneath the marks couldn't be regenerated any further, she'd stopped wearing sleeveless shirts from then on.

He let out a small breath and started double-checking his scrolls and brushes, some of her words suddenly taunting his thoughts. His fingers grazed over thick paper and the stable, secure ends of his brushes. They had been said around last year, after a sparring session… Death had somehow wormed its way into their conversation.

"_I never thought about dying while I was fighting Sasuke. I didn't care."_

His attention returned to Sakura, the need to re-check his equipment momentarily forgotten.

"_He kills me in my nightmares, though. I die in my dreams."_

Sai's coal-black eyes scanned her passive face urgently, as she settled her head back against the boulder behind her and closed her eyes, a warning thump in his chest as he remembered—

"_But the worst part is waking up from them." _

OOO

The wind rushed past her ears in an overwhelming whisper. But she wasn't alone anymore. Ino and Sai had chosen to follow Kakashi's steps and had joined her at the back of the group—which had now conveniently become the middle of the group. She smiled to herself.

She wasn't alone.

Nostalgia and warmth were interrupted by an unpleasantly familiar sight ahead.

Neji and Tenzo stood waiting for the rest of the team to catch up. They had called for a halt at the edge of a wide expanse of treeless, rock-and-shrub-infested land—one that included Sasuke's fort. Taking cover in the shadows given by the last stretch of trees, the group waited, masking their chakra signals and looking out apprehensively at the craggy land ahead—a place that none had expected to return to and all were far from ecstatic about being near.

The wind was blustery, the air dank. Sakura made her way through the group to the very edge of the clearing—stopping just before the line of weak sunlight that managed to hit the land through the dark, thick clouds above. Masked in shadow, only her eyes glinted from the leafy darkness. Narrowing into slits, they glared at a dark set of buildings nestled into the craggy hillside ahead. Even from here, she could see the scorched and upturned patch of land that marked the place where Sasuke fought both Naruto and her.

She bent slowly, heavy wind flinging her hair back in a coral stream. Her hands met the ground. She closed her eyes as the solidity of the earth beneath her sent waves of comfort through her palms and up her arms. Slowly, her fingers spread, bare fingertips tracing lines into the loose, dry soil. The slightest tinge of blue surrounded her hands as a tiny crease of concentration formed between her eyebrows. Suddenly, without word or warning, she raised both arms and brought them crashing fist down into the dirt. A soft rumble beneath the ground was the only sign that a jutsu had been performed.

Her teammates waited and watched as she stood and dusted off her hands. Kakashi stepped forward and peered into the man-sized hole, "Where'd you connect it to?"

"According to the basic blueprints of Otogakure we were able to get from one of the Sound-nins we apprehended last year, the tunnel should open up to a room in Sasuke's fort near the prisons," she said. "So long as Sasuke hasn't majorly renovated the fort," she added as an afterthought.

The group remained silent for a moment, each unwilling to break the apprehension with word or movement. But eventually, duty called.

"Are you sure Naruto is being kept in the prisons?" asked Neji.

Sakura shrugged, answering, "At this point, it's our best bet." She turned her head slightly to stare at the black stone walls that loomed forebodingly in the distance. "If not, we can either apprehend guards for Ino to work on until we find one who knows his location. Otherwise…" Sakura focused her gaze on her teammates.

Her friends.

And his.

"We fight our way to him."

At this moment, Sakura was suddenly aware of his presence—the remnants of himself he'd left behind in the hearts of the people he'd shown how to change…

"We must do whatever it takes to get to him on this mission—because there probably won't be a second time. We won't ever have this advantage of surprise again," she said softly.

Her words were met with silence. They had all known of the high probability of dying on this mission, but to risk their lives for one that had a startlingly low probability of success was still unsettling.

Especially because none of them cared. To them, only Naruto mattered.

Sakura swung herself into the pit she made and, without much further ado, slid down until her feet hit the level ground she had carved out some hundred feet below the surface. Eyes widening blindly against the darkness, her hand reached for the green glow sticks stored in her waist pouch. A snap and a few shakes later she was a beckon of light for those sliding down after her. A few more glow sticks were lit and held up against the shadow. A green glow was soon highlighting the long corridor that stretched before them.

While Neji and Tenzo led the way down the tunnel, Sakura lingered at the bottom of the entrance, looking up into the weak sunlight almost reaching down for her. An invisible gust of wind pulled a few leaves across the opening of the hole and brought down a breath of reasonably fresh air. A reluctant gloved hand rose and touched the side of the hole. A wave of chakra later, and the light was suddenly stolen from her upturned face. Now dependent on the glowing stick in her hand, she gazed at it momentarily before turning, running after the group.

OOO

The tunnel was a rushed five minute race, saving the team time and chakra resources. If forced to travel on the ground above, they would've had to expend too much effort in concealing themselves from Sasuke's advantageous viewing point some hundred miles above them. The lack of trees and flat lands didn't help, either. Furthermore, the fact that Sasuke's nation was still relatively young prevented him from having as thorough a security border as Konoha accumulated through years of defense.

They thundered on ahead, pausing only when they'd reached the end of the passage. Catching their breaths and trying to steady their anxious hearts, each team member was soon busy gauging the level of shinobi activity behind the wall they had stopped at. From the faint signatures they were able to discern, they had reached the prisons. The only sounds within hearing vicinity were their own heartbeats. Neji placed a hand on the wall of the dead end, Byakugan activated. He turned to the others with a shake of his head—there was no one on the other side.

Sakura handed off her glowstick to Kakashi. Walking to the dirt wall, she stretched her stiff arms slightly before placing her hands against the barrier. Her heartbeat resonated in her ears. She was this much closer… Her eyebrows furrowed together tightly to distract herself from the dryness that threatened her eyes. She screwed her eyelids shut, chakra coils in her hands suddenly awash with energy—

Chakra manipulation was stilled by the sure, heavy hand on her shoulder. Sakura turned to look at the Tenzo with a blank expression. He simply gave her a half-grin, patting her back.

"Let me," he said warmly. "You've used too much chakra already."

Sakura hesitated for a second, wondering whether or not to snap at her former captain that her chakra reserves were just fine. But her hands peeled from the wall slowly. She thanked Tenzo curtly and retrieved her glowstick from Kakashi. As earth fell away from the partition at the command of Tenzo's Ram seal and whispered command, Sakura put the glowstick away back into her waist pouch—a faint glow of torchlight could be seen through the broadening cracks behind Tenzo's fingers. Kakashi flashed through the tight opening to catch the few stone bricks that had lined the wall before the sound of their fall echoed through the hallway. His silver hair flashed in the weak light as he checked for any incoming guards. A solemn dark gray eye seemed to fixate on her as he nodded for everyone to come through.

As the rest of the group slipped noiselessly into the uncovered hallway, Sakura lingered behind to reconstruct the hole they'd left, taking the bricks from Kakashi as her chakra remolded them into the wall. Finished, she scraped a light 'O' over the area with a senbon. She wasn't entirely sure if the tunnel would be their return route—although she hoped so—but it didn't hurt to be prepared. With a light touch on her arm from Kakashi, she was soon running towards the rest of her team, all senses alert and on the ready.

She slowed down however, as Ino and Rock Lee's still backs appeared around a corner. They were in whispered discussion with rest of the team. Sai's eyes found hers as she neared the group.

"Hag, Neji thinks we should split up," he said softly, in response to the question in her eyes. He motioned to the maze-like caverns and hallways surrounding them. Sakura studied her surroundings as the pit of her stomach suddenly churned tensely—how on earth would they be able to find him in this labyrinth? The information Konoha currently had on Otogakure's prisons was clearly inadequate, and the subsequent lack of preparedness on her part made her determination falter.

"Did the blueprints of the fort happen to include the prisons?" whispered Rock Lee, his thoughts clearly mirroring hers.

Sakura shook her head, although keeping her expression blank to mask her worry. "Just a generic outline with more detail to its surroundings."

The group cast uneasy glances at the corridor openings that seemed to mock them laughingly.

Sakura glanced at Kakashi before nodding at the rest of the group, "Microphones and radios on, everyone." There was a muted rustling and a few clicks near strapped necks and ears before everyone was in sync.

Green eyes quickly flashed to Akamaru's suddenly upturned nose. Her gaze then traveled to Kiba as the scruffy nin ruffled the fur between his companion's head.

"What's the matter, boy?" he whispered. Hazel eyes widened in response to Akamaru's low woofs. His gazed clashed against Sakura's penetrating one.

"He's found him," he said chokingly.

Tenzo, Neji and Rock Lee stiffened—their fists and shoulders tightening. Sai shut his eyes momentarily, the sudden grip on his katana's hilt tensing. Kakashi ran a slightly shaking hand through his hair… Ino's mouth parted disbelievingly, before looking immediately to the rose-haired kunoichi at her right. Blonde eyebrows raised in surprise at the expression hardening Sakura's usually delicate features.

Akamaru gave small bark, before dashing down the hallway, Kiba not far behind.

"Wait!" Sakura hissed fruitlessly, hand outstretched to grasp empty air. Preparing to sprint after Kiba and obey the nauseous, foreboding darkness clouding her insides, a grip on her forearm stopped her in her tracks. Sakura whirled around angrily, only to be confronted by worried sky-blue eyes searching hers carefully.

Torchlight flickered over her ghostlike face—Sakura breathed out heavily, lips tightening together as she tried to tell Ino everything without saying anything… The concern on Ino's face didn't diminish.

Sakura sighed, eyes closing as her head lowered dejectedly. Shaking her head, Sakura addressed the rest of the team, "Stay within this vicinity, look for Naruto, just in case," her voice faltered, "Just in case something isn't right. Radio for help if needed—we'll all be on the same channel. If nothing goes wrong, meet back at the tunnel entrance in two hours. I'm following Kiba." With colorless lips pressed tightly together, she gave Ino one last long look before gently prying her arm away. She nodded at Kakashi as he adjusted his hitae-ate, his unveiled Sharingan spinning gently. His head bent slightly, both mismatched eyes poring into hers understandingly. Sai, Neji, Tenzo and Rock Lee swirled away as she turned and set both feet running after Kiba's journey down the darkness ahead.

Kakashi's arm blocked Sai's advance forward.

"She'll be fine," he said, watching the last strands of a pink ponytail disappearing around the bend. "She needs to do this alone."

Sai's shoulders seemed to sag a little, although he obeyed without the slightest expression of discontent on his face. Patting Sai's back firmly, reassuringly, Kakashi sighed before addressing the rest of the group, "Well, let's get to it."

"But Kiba's already found him," Tenzo said quizzically. "We should follow them anyway; they'll most likely need back-up." Rock-Lee nodded his agreement.

Kakashi's eyes looked troubled all at once, his growing frown visible even through his mask. "Sakura wouldn't have told us to stay away, if she didn't have a reason behind saying it," he said slowly. "If she's in trouble, she'll let us know. Isn't that right, Ino?" he asked, turning to the blonde, who gave the empty hallway ahead an anxious glance before focusing on the team, her head inclining once in reluctant affirmation.

"Sai and I will take the hallways behind," Kakashi stated. "Tenzo—you and Ino take the corridors to the right. Neji, Rock Lee—search the ones on the left."

"Hai!" was said in unison, before the group virtually disappeared as they flashed away.

"Kakashi-senpai."

Kakashi turned to Sai, immediately unsettled by the agitated quality to the shinobi's usually blank coal-black eyes.

"Kakashi-senpai, there was no need for Kiba-kun to run off like that," the young man said slowly. Kakashi's brows knit together uncertainly.

"… I know."

OOO

They had reached corridors with floors lined in a dark stone. The torchlight was stronger, as were the shadows that followed them. Taking care to let no sound loose from the impact between her boots and the granite, Sakura doubled her pace. The hard-set expression on her face was somewhere in between being blank and pessimistic. The sickening foreboding feeling in her gut didn't leave her much choice—for some inexplicable reason, she was afraid.

Eyes wandering, looking for some visible sign of comfort, Sakura instead found every shadow taunting her with bits and pieces from Team 7's less complicated past. She could only grit her teeth and keep her eyes focused on Kiba as if her life depended on it. Ignoring the small smiles that a younger Sasuke would rarely give and the good beatings she'd give Naruto, she ran faster and harder. Her discomfort was soon forgotten; she had much more to focus her sights on, she realized, when she turned a corner.

Cell upon cell of corpses lined the hallway they had entered. Sakura clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle her throat's gag reflex. Trying not to breath through her nose, her eyes narrowed in disgust and pity for the poor souls who were forced to end their life in such a place. She quickly caught up to Kiba, who was bent over double, emptying the contents of his stomach, while Akamaru lay down helplessly, paws clasped over his nose. Sakura gingerly reached out and patted Kiba's back, while taking the time to peer into the darkness of the smell closest to them.

The cell was literally packed with dead civilians, their lack of lingering chakra signatures giving away their more innocent professions. In the cell across from it, however, to her left, the bodies of fourteen dead shinobi lay rotting in the positions they died in. Eyes watering from the smell, she quickly grabbed one of her ripped sleeves from her pack to tie around her nose. Two layers of cloth diminishing the severity of the decay around her, Sakura was able to focus on the corpses a little more objectively. From what she could tell at a few feet away, most of the inmates had been killed by starvation and neglect, and quite recently, too, if the level of decomposition the bodies were undergoing were of any indication.

Sakura frowned at this observation. She hadn't seen any of the other hallways, and therefore wasn't aware of any other condition Sasuke's prisoners were in, but nothing could detract from the fact that Sasuke had ordered these people captured about two weeks ago and sentenced to a slow, gruesome death. Her eyes narrowed in pain as they observed a small child's hand outstretched through the bars, limp against the floor, beseeching pity even in lifelessness.

How many sins have you piled upon yourself since you've left us, Sasuke?

Her face was stony as she further beheld the surrounding, gradually amassed carnage. Beryl eyes flicked quickly to the entrances on either side of her and a still retching Kiba and Akamaru. The inordinate amount of neglect inflicted upon the souls here and—she quickly scrutinized the undisturbed dirt floor throughout the length of the hallway—lack of activity could only mean that this was an abandoned part of the fortress. Sakura would unhesitatingly admit that she couldn't even begin to fathom the depth of complexity that plagued the relationship between her former teammates. However, she'd witnessed enough of it, especially recently, to induce that Naruto could never become a neglected prisoner under Sasuke. Right now, she wasn't any closer to Naruto.

She gave Kiba a final pat on the back before she helped him up, in the meantime giving Akamaru a rub between his ears. A little bit of chakra on her expense also helped ease their nausea. Kiba wiped his mouth exhaustedly and gave her a bleary-eyed look of thanks.

The brief bit of eye contact that passed between them was a clear, "Let's get out of here."

Sakura led the way, Kiba leaning on her a bit too heavily in the beginning, before he was able to run on his own. As soon as a little bit of color had returned to his cheeks, Sakura demanded quietly, "Where is he?" Kiba nodded and looked towards Akamaru. The two short barks emitted by the large canine apparently meant something to Kiba, as Kiba immediately translated, "Two floors up." Sakura's pace increased, anticipation choking her throat and making a vein throb painfully in her temple.

The rest of the journey up was unfettered and simple. Although the trio had met some obstacles in the form of some patrolling guards, it was nothing that a bit of Sakura's tranquilizing chakra couldn't take care of quietly. She also increased the amount of stolen chakra in her second coil frame. A little quake that set in her fingers worried her, though—was it fear, anticipation, or the simple physical setbacks to storing so much chakra in her body?

No time for questions that couldn't be answered instantly, however, and she increased her pace to keep up with Akamaru's quicker four legs. But still… There was one question in particular that worried her—unanswerable or not, she couldn't push it from her thoughts, even if just to focus on the mission in front of her.

Why was it so easy to get in? Sakura remembered—not too pleasantly—how deserted Orochimaru's lair was when she infiltrated it with Naruto and Yamato to get to Sai and then Sasuke those many years ago. Possibly, Sasuke was just mimicking the idiosyncrasies of his mentor… But there was another part of her gut that assured her that this wasn't the case.

Was this another trap of some kind? And if so, how was it set in the first place?

She wasn't sure if trepidation was going to eat her alive, or this newfound fear.

Would she be able to get everyone out of this mission safely?

Her quick pace was suddenly cut off by a hand grabbing her forearm and stopping her in her tracks. Kiba's grip around her bare skin tightened slightly as he put a finger to his lips and pointed to the door just ahead of them. Sakura glanced at Akamaru. The large animal was silent, the fur on his back upraised and his whole form shaking.

Kiba nodded slightly in response to the question in her eyes—is this where he is?

Both nins lowered their chakra signatures to the lowest possibly frequency they could manage. Sakura's heart pounded in her ears as she struggled to put one foot in front of the other. She tried to swallow to relieve her impossibly dry mouth, but any movement of her throat was hindered by the dread wrapping around her neck like a collar.

The light was so dim… Or was it her own eyesight darkening at the edges?

Her gloved hand was wrapped around the doorknob, trembling, before she knew it.

But she couldn't move further.

She just couldn't move.

Quickly, Kiba vindicated her, removing her hand from the doorknob and throwing it open, his other hand bristling with kunai, Akamaru at his heels with teeth bared…

Beryl eyes widened in fear—

Time slowed. And then stilled.

Sakura's body burst into action, grabbing Kiba and Akamaru by the scruffs of their necks and throwing them away from the doorway, Kiba gasped in horror—

Away from the crackling rays of blue electricity that came hurtling towards them, she swerved to avoid them herself—

There was a series of small explosions as the lightning collided with the wall behind her, wrecking it completely. Sakura was momentarily blinded by disturbed dust and dirt…

But once she saw that Kiba and Akamaru were successfully thrown to the end of the hallway, their flight halted by the stonewall at the end of the corridor, Sakura stilled—her form imprisoned by the lightning blades alight in electric fury near her arms, calves, and torso. One wavered tauntingly near her cheek, slicing off a few strands of wayward hair.

"Kiba." Her voice was strained. She swallowed, suddenly gaining strength from the hopelessness of her situation. It this was to be her last stand…

She'd make it unforgettable.

"Get the others and get out," she managed. Kiba's hazel eyes widened at the calmness in her voice.

Her head whipped towards him, a few more strands of her hair meeting their end at the movement. He sat, slightly dazed amidst the rubble from his and Akamaru's impact against the wall. Sakura's beryl eyes tightened as they met Kiba's… His eyebrows drew together painfully as her name passed out of his lips in a shaky whisper…

"Go," she let out curtly.

He was beginning to shake, his features drawn in uncertainty and fear.

"Go!" she shouted.

_Get away from here… Get out. Be safe… _

Kiba stood up with a start, shaking his head free from the grip of the slight concussion from Sakura's throw. He turned to run down the corridor ahead of him, Akamaru not far behind. A last look over his shoulder towards her, and he was gone—

"Sakura."

…

_That voice… _

…

She refused to look at him immediately, her head still turned towards the hallway Kiba had disappeared into.

It was only when the chidori blades around her retreated to the armored hand from whence they came that her eyes moved slowly forward. Her beryl gaze iced over, belying the fiery rage that suddenly ignited in her gut…

Her fists clenched painfully, her frame shaking violently from the effort to hold back from immediately running forward in attack…

Even in this dim light, his eyes glinted their obsidian stoniness…

…

Her lips parted in a snarl, her voice low—

"Sasuke."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

Kakashi's breath caught in his throat as he heard Sakura whisper that name—that dreaded name—the microphone barely able to carry her venomous whisper across the channel to his neck radio. It wasn't just him. They'd all heard it and their reactions were all simultaneous and similar; a certain shock that traversed surprise immediately into bitterness.

Her figure was still swathed in dust and debris. Sakura shifted almost imperceptibly to the side—the few millimeters in distance allowing the bolt of lightning streaking from Sasuke's lazily upraised finger to slice the radio from her neck and not her jugular. Her gaze remained frozen on her target, however.

Screw all the rules of refraining from taking life.

To hell with it all.

Her blunt fingernails managed to pierce through the palm of her glove and bite into her skin, drawing crescent moons of blood. Pressure allowed two drips to fall from her clenched fingers, staining the floor beneath her like two rebel teardrops.

She would not let Sasuke leave her sight again until he left this world and began his long awaited, much deserved journey into a fiery, agonizing retribution. Maybe it was in this cradle of revenge that she couldn't hear Kakashi, Sai, and Ino calling for her desperately over the radio still moderately functioning from its burnt mass of rubber and metal at her feet.

Her head rose slightly, signaling to her opponent that she was ready to fight. She took a step forward, the remains of the radio and the voices of friends calling her back obliterated beneath the weight of her boot and the conscious decision to walk down a path she knew she couldn't turn back on.

Slowly, she peeled the gloves from her hands. She would fight bare handed. No matter the scars that she wouldn't be able to erase from her knuckles… No matter the fingernails she'd lose, the cuts that'll scrape her palms into shreds…

She wanted to _feel_ the life drain from him when she tightened her hands around his neck…

OOO

There was nothing but a dead silence and the pressure of bated breaths as Sakura's radio connection flickered off with a sharp crackle.

"Kakashi-sempai…"

Rock Lee's voice wavered unsurely.

"We need to complete the mission."

Neji's voice maintained its usual iciness.

"…We have to go to her."

Ino couldn't scream, couldn't shout, couldn't release the pent up trepidation that blocked her voice. Her voice could only come out in a deadened whisper.

Kakashi closed his eyes, his lids coming together more tightly as the increased beat of his heart made it difficult to organize his thoughts.

A plan—they needed a plan. Their old one was useless. They'd come unprepared. Had they all grown soft? Or did it only work for Naruto, the whole "rushing in to save someone" single-mindedly, with no other thought than to save that person?

"Sempai."

The urgency in Tenzo's voice was unmistakable. Sai remained, thankfully, silent beside him. The artist was busy loosening the grips securing his scrolls and brushes, eyebrows creased together slightly.

"We wait at the edge of the forest," Kakashi decided finally. The firmness of his voice prevented protests from being spoken, although they were decidedly palpable.

He then adjusted the dial to his radio, calling softly, "Kiba? Kiba? Where are you?"

A resounding crackle did nothing to ease their worries. All members of the team began to feel that familiar noose of tension tighten around their torsos—a feeling they were taught how to ignore, but not how to put into practice… Especially when a mission went so wrong, there was little but a tightrope left to walk towards right.

Kakashi felt his emotions slip away, for the time being. Allowing the battle-worn and immensely jaded part of him to take over, he adopted a neutral tone to his voice—one that left no room for dishonest reassurances or cowardly admissions to pessimism: "We go back the way we came and let Sakura deal with Sasuke. Kiba can smell us out. If not… We can't afford to go looking for him right now. We need to prepare for battle. Sasuke was waiting for us. The fight will be coming to us anyway. It's best we position ourselves on the field as early as possible—"

"But Sakura— !"

"Can take care of herself," he cut Ino off. He sighed as quietly as he could, praying the mike wouldn't pick up the sound, while his hand pulled up his hitai-ate in one decided motion.

"If she needs help, she'll let us know," he said, Sharingan swirling gently.

OOO

"One question. Sakura," his voice suddenly cut through the air and hit her in the chest sharper than any kunai or lightning blade…

There was nothing.

Emerald eyes suddenly faltered, screwing up in muted disgust and pity.

It was impossible to word it in any other way—

In his voice, there was nothing.

_What have you become? _

The moment left as quickly as it came, all but an unforgiving glare erased in the literal blink of her eyes. Sakura's feet paused, however—she could do little but attribute this hesitation to some ironic intellectual curiosity… She wasn't aware that Sasuke was familiar with the construction of a question. He usually stuck to the declarative and, of course, the imperative. So, she waited silently, taking the time to study his appearance.

Her former teammate and (constant) heartbreak stood up from his stone throne with ease. There was a stiffness to his form that kept him from elegance… And yet he managed to look ethereal all the same. She scoffed, not caring enough to hide her insecurities. In fact, she relished shoving them in his face. Here she was, mud and dirt a second skin, jounin vest a mess, boots bristling with shards of stone and debris, while he shone in a white silk haori and a pristinely ironed black hakama. She wanted to make the difference between them stark, dramatic even.

_I am nothing like you. _

He took his time as well, readjusting his immaculate shoulder armor and wrist guards. Obsidian eyes glinted as they suddenly flicked to hers from underneath sculpted brows. She didn't flinch against the murderous intent he so generously managed to pour onto her, although the grit of her teeth gave away the effort it took to keep from doing so.

As a basic Sharingan was blinked into bloody visibility, Sasuke asked in that deadened voice of his, "You're not at all curious?"

The few seconds that'd ticked by had allowed Sakura to settle her rage into a manageable fiery heap in her gut—of all things, she would need a clear head, unhindered by hasty moves from hasty emotions, to kill him. She'd managed to get her voice in control as well. It had slid into a tone and pitch commonly used by teachers dealing with temper tantrums of obstinate children. Soothing, soft—the movements of a constrictor before and during the kill, as opposed to those of a venomous snake—Sakura asked simply, "About what?"

"Naruto."

She tilted her head to the side to mask the dull thump of her heart at his name, saying lightly, "I've figured everything out already. But if you want to hear yourself talk, by all means, go ahead. I've got the rest of my life to kill you."

There was a semblance of a grin at the corners of his mouth, however far it was from being pleasant.

"Then how'd I bring you here?" he asked, running a lazy hand up and down the lacquer hilt of his katana.

Sakura was still for a moment, until the blur of movement from her left arm resulted in a kunai embedded into the wall next to Kiba's grinning face. She'd scored his cheek, and a triangle of blood slid down his skin, enlarging the red tattoo marking him as a member of the Inuzaka clan. Rotating a poisoned senbon between her fingers, she said casually, "Him." Taking in the monster of a dog panting happily beside Kiba's doppelganger, she acquiesced, "Them."

Ignoring Sasuke unsheathing his katana halfway in reaction to her sudden throw, she pointed the senbon at Kiba, demanding in a harsh whisper, "Get. _Out_. Of his body."

"Jeez, baby," the ninja crooned, holding up his hands defensively, although the gesture clashed horribly with the smug smirk on his face. Smugness melted into something akin to cruelness, as he hissed, "It's just a skin, darling." His eyes glinted sadistically at the way Sakura's face blanched. He then turned to the dog beside him, "Should we show her?"

Sakura's eyes widened in horror as the skin and fur of those whom she knew were ripped open and off to reveal a pair of twin shinobi she'd never seen before. Tousled brown hair, soft matted white fur gave way to light blue hair. Laughing hazel eyes and the moist, smiling eyes of a dog that often managed to forget it was no longer a puppy, were submerged into glinting gold irises. Kiba's tan skin was ruthlessly torn off to reveal some sickly, bloodless pallor that had resided underneath.

Rendered motionless by the vomit-inducing transformation, she could do nothing as the twins stretched and rolled their joints leisurely, sighing in contentment, "It's great to finally be out of that loser's skin! How long has it been?"

The responding twin grinned, fixing Sakura with a malicious glance out the corner of his eyes as he said happily, "_Four_ long_, long _years."

Breath managed to leave her quite fast, as she could barely gasp, "It was you." Everything—splitting her and Naruto apart, betraying Naruto's location, the shoddy autopsy, her coma, the archive break-in, even this mission… Everything was—

"Yep, it was all _us_. And more than that," they cooed triumphantly. "Sasuke-sama," they asked in unison, turning to the young man who'd now chosen to sit back down in his chair and enjoy the show. "May we tell her?" they voiced. Sasuke seemed to pin her with an empty stare. It took everything she had to hold his gaze and smooth out the emotions of her face into a flat mask.

"Yes," he said finally (she swore she heard a taunt somewhere in the void that was his voice), "Even though she's… figured out everything."

The twins gave syncopated chuckles as they proceeded to explain how their involvement had not begun at the betrayal of Naruto's location to Sasuke, but even earlier. They energetically reenacted how they'd made Naruto even more susceptible to Sasuke's lettered genjutsus by spiking his ramen in careful dosages on their outings together at Ichiraku's with a formula specifically designed to dull rational, logical thought and increase one's susceptibility to suggestion, a la Kabuto. And they'd acted as correspondence between Sasuke and the Elders, drawing in the old fools with the temptation of the caged powers of the Bijuu—Sasuke's inheritance from Madara's short-lived rampage. On the belief that Konoha would be able to possess the tailed beasts, the Elders had allowed Naruto to go to Oto.

It seemed like they were striking her—blow after blow—until she was numb, lifeless…hollow. Yet, the entire time she couldn't peel herself from Sasuke's gaze… Out of sorrow, nostalgia, exhaustion? At this point, she was far too numb to manage to bring anger to the surface—but she felt it, lying there in wait.

And yet he had the strength, or the gall, to give her the most stoic look she'd ever received.

_Sasuke… _

Emerald gaze darkened.

_I'm so tired. Why won't you let me rest? _

As if in response to her silent plea, the twins finally shut up, at last becoming aware that their subject of torment wasn't really listening anymore. Trying to ignore everything—sight, smell, sound, feeling, though she couldn't ignore the taste of blood in her mouth—she closed her eyes to break herself from Sasuke's indifference. Turning to the twins, she asked tiredly, "Kekkei genkai?"

Their enthusiastic nodding was cut off by the sudden realization that she had moved across the room to stand behind them, her pale hands at the backs of their exposed necks. They moved in unison, fingertips bristling in kunai as they began to swerve, hearing her whisper, like a disappearing dream, "If you weren't working for him, I would've killed you without the slightest remorse."

Sakura winced in slight pain as the two nins slumped to the floor in front of her—their chakra had a disgustingly parasitic feel to it as it slid up her arms into her second coil system. It was, no doubt, due to their kekkei genkai—a rare form she had only read about once. Literal shape-shifters, they could assume the form of any living thing—as long as they were the ones to kill the subject—and the full development of the blood trait would allow the user to also absorb the memories, chakra type, and abilities of their victims. She shuddered in disgust, fists clenching to prevent herself from wrapping her arms around herself protectively… The twins' chakra left a horrid aftertaste in her mouth. It diminished significantly once she'd incorporated her own chakra into it.

The room was silent in wait as she straightened. She wasn't looking at him anymore.

Back turned towards him she asked quietly, "Kiba?"

"Dead," he confirmed.

Neither of them moved, although both strained to hear the other's quiet voice from across the distance that separated them.

"Did you?" she assumed.

"They did," he corrected.

There was a beat before she asked, "Did you choose Kiba?"

"Yes," he answered unhesitatingly.

She had no response.

Instead, she moved to look at him with deadened eyes.

"You grew out your hair," she noted lightly, gesturing to his hip-length high ponytail. He'd cut his bangs asymmetrically as well. His gaze was now hindered by an angled brushing of jet black hair.

He didn't feel the need to respond and just stared back at her, through her, as if she wasn't even there. Still too insignificant?

"Eyesight?" she asked, her voice as tired as her eyes.

"Karin," he said curtly.

Sakura nodded, the movement of her head a whisper against the darkness of the room and its weak torchlight.

"Where is she?" she inquired, determined to fill this empty space that was creeping towards her. He somehow managed to take away her strength, her happiness, and her confidence just by being nearby.

"…Dead."

She stiffened. But before she could ask—

"The procedure killed her."

For some reason, she was even angrier. For this woman she barely knew, who had returned to Sasuke even after Konoha saved her life… Who returned _for _Sasuke… She became angrier.

…_What is it about you?_ Her eyes narrowed impossibly, green slits glinting out from tense, angled brows.

_What does everyone see in you? _In one swift movement, she released a scroll from her left chest pocket.

_Karin, Suigetsu, Juugo, Kakashi… Naruto… _His eyes narrowed ever so slightly.

_What did they see in you that I that I can't anymore? _He had no need to worry, because she paused mid-release, blood dripping from her thumb, scroll almost destroyed in her other hand. She was shaking, but from what effort? To go through with the jutsu or to prevent herself from doing it?

He looked slightly amused.

She lowered her arms stiffly.

Before she killed him, she had to tell him everything: what she didn't tell him, what she couldn't tell him, what she wouldn't tell him, what she had refrained from telling him…

"Do you think you're incapable of loving anyone?" she asked solemnly.

His eyes widened, startled.

"Were you scared? Is that why you let us live all this time?" she continued, her voice toneless and unassuming.

He didn't need to answer.

She managed to give a small laugh and her head, suddenly heavy, dropped as she came to focus on her dirt-stained toes. Her pinky toenail was missing and bleeding profusely.

She was injured already?

"It was complicated. Killing us was complicated, wasn't it? That's why you went through all that trouble…" she swallowed—her throat was suddenly tight.

"Couldn't do much better than ruin my life, Sasuke? I'm disappointed," she laughed dryly.

Somehow, the conversation wasn't one-sided, even though he was only looking at her with a blank expression on his face. She knew it wasn't one-sided. She could see that maintaining that empty look took some effort from him—a vein throbbed visibly in his temple. But she couldn't discern if he was angry or nervous… Did it matter?

"I wouldn't have," he said suddenly. Their eyes clashed against each other like a stormy wave against stone. "I wouldn't have, if you weren't an important member of Konoha… If neither of you were."

She didn't have time to analyze his voice, thus missing the honesty threading through it. She was too busy, focused on his words.

"Liar," she said, refraining from spitting out the word. Her glare was just as accusatory as her voice. "Liar," she repeated, only this time more tiredly.

"Do you know how you survive, Sasuke?" she threw at him. "You survive by ignoring the fact that you have nothing and no one, and that that it is entirely your fault. You only keep on living by convincing yourself that you are not a waste of the sacrifice your brother made for you."

She took a moment to breathe, to pause, but not to chew her words before she let them out. His face was too tense for that. This was her chance.

"I could've killed you," she confessed in a whisper. "I could've killed you many times."

She gave an inward smile at the incredulous offense suddenly scrawled against his features.

"But I didn't," she interrupted as she saw Sasuke's lips part in a snarl, sneering at her, "No, you couldn't."

"I didn't," Sakura said again, wondering if she should reach out, "Because you were doing a better job of that than I ever could," she finished quietly.

He seemed to swallow, a tactic to suppress something—Sakura couldn't tell what it was—rage, regret, self-loathing… Today's breakfast?

She took a step forward. There was no defensive flicker of motion on his part. Sasuke remained rooted where he was, all his energy focused on her, or something behind her—something that wasn't her.

"You can redeem yourself," she offered tentatively, suddenly. These words… These not unkind words were somehow flowing out of her throat. "For you, starting is simply stopping. Stop what you're doing. Stop trying to sabotage Konoha…" His gaze became aggressive, definitely focusing on her this time. Exasperated, she asked, voice rising, "Are you nothing without an enemy? Is that what you want? A reason to keep fighting? There are plenty of reasons out there! Why must you choose one that causes nothing but pain for you and everyone around you?" Anger escalated in the tone of her voice. She didn't care. He wasn't a child anymore.

His suddenly quiet, low voice suddenly pierced through her frustration, "Are you angry?"

The dumbfounded look she gave him was filled with irony. Before she could ask sarcastically if he was playing stupid, he clarified, "At what I did? Are you angry at what I did?"

The simplicity of his words had nothing to do with the look he was giving her; his eyes suddenly were wrought with emotion, but an emotion that was alien to her. The feelings that did manage to arise in him were, by now, incapable of being felt by a normal human being. Sakura was speechless for a moment longer, unable of how to respond with words or with her eyes. As much as she wanted to, however, she couldn't tear her eyes away from his.

"No," she heard herself say. "Not anymore. Because you helped me see that I'm human, that I can be hurt, manipulated, redeemed…" She lowered her voice, "Just like you."

"Sakura."

She was suddenly frightened. Because she recognized it—the emotion that now choked his voice. He wasn't even looking at her anymore. Eyebrows creased, eyes closed, teeth clenched—he looked like he was…

(Her eyes widened at this unexpected and startling vulnerability. It wasn't him. He'd never look like that. He'd never ever let himself look like that. Or show her that. Show anyone that.)

In pain.

(Why?)

He managed to look out at her from beneath his brows and she was overwhelmed in an instant. Because she knew where he was. She'd been there.

(Because she couldn't do anything about it.)

He was lost.

(Because she couldn't heal him.)

And drowning.

_(Not him… Don't let this happen to him…) _

She'd known all along, that he was trapped in some sort of limbo. But to be confronted with it so suddenly, without warning…

"I _need_… to do this…" he managed to whisper out.

Sakura screwed her eyes shut, two movements away from clapping her hands over her ears and sinking to the floor.

_(Because I can't do anything… I can't…)_

"No more," she whispered, blocking him out.

(…_help him.) _

"I'm going to stop," she met him desperate glance for desperate glance, however different their reasons were.

"I'll stop," she whispered.

He said nothing, but the look in his eyes was enough. It'd always been enough.

But she hardened herself up anyway; throwing on the mental shields and emotional armor she'd discarded for those few brief moments. That was as close as she'd let him in. This was as close as he'll let her get.

"But you will have to get through me to get to Konoha. And you already know how hard that will be," she stated, any hint of warning unnecessary. "How hard it has been," she added, putting words to the glint of Sasuke's eyes.

He'd been open, desperate, unsafe… She hadn't taken the opportunity to take advantage of his emotional vulnerability. Sakura honestly didn't know if she could've managed it successfully. What was it, this cycle…where one moment she'd want his heart on a platter and the next she'd be willing to let him off, again.

"Naruto," she said abruptly.

She saw an immediate change in Sasuke's face. What once was unselfconscious in a candid attempt to express himself tensed immeasurably. A scowl melted into his features and once more he was closed off from her.

"What about him?" he asked quietly, venomously.

She bristled somewhat, at the tone of his voice. Keeping herself from glaring, she said, "He's here, isn't he? Where is he?"

She wasn't expecting his response. A slight sneer curled up one corner of his mouth into a twisted smile. The hairs on the back of her neck stood as he said softly, "Shouldn't you be asking about what I've done with him?"

The blood left Sakura's face in a rush.

Sasuke's hand raised steadily, his eyes now openly taunting her, rejoicing in both sadistic and masochistic pleasure. Sakura tensed, the spaces between her fingers suddenly bristling with senbon.

He snapped his fingers. The small sound echoed in cracks down connecting corridors.

The pattering of footsteps and the clanking of dragged metal suddenly rebounded off the walls, uncomfortably filling the silence and whispered voices that had previously occupied it. Sakura turned her attention towards the open hallway on Sasuke's left. She tensed.

The rest of the world drained away from her sight as two Oto-nins and a mop of dirty, tousled blond hair between them emerged from the shadows, a phantasmal apparition from her worst nightmares.

She found herself breathless once more, raised arm faltering as it dropped slowly, senbon tickling the sides of her thighs. Her heart was tightening impossibly, taking along her lungs with it…

The Oto-nins dropped their large baggage onto the ground, soon shifting out of visibility after bows towards Sasuke, blending out of sight in shimmering waves and with a subtle whine that left Sakura's ears aching. They'd left their charge a pile of paled, emaciated, and heavily bruised flesh on the ground, the slight fluttering of long blond hair against a wounded back the only indication of life.

A pained breath escaped her lips, just short of a cry out. She started forward before stopping herself—

The muscles of her small frame were visibly tensed as the blond haired captive groaned and shifted, attempting to prop himself up by his arms and failing as he slipped against the mixture of blood and dirt against him. A dulled glint of crystalline blue eyes swung a bleary glance to its surroundings, blinking slowly in pain.

Sakura was immobile, not six feet from the man she had loved and lost. Sasuke watched her carefully under hooded eyes, blinking steadily, even when her verdant gaze swung towards him, pinning him with all of her rage and disgust.

Her voice slipped out into the air, treading steadily, as if on ice:

"Is that the best you can do?"

Sasuke stiffened as Sakura's hands moved in a blend of seals, gusts of stale wind rushing up from the chakra now pooling around her, sending her hair flying into a magenta whirlpool. Three coffins rumbled out of the grounds beside her, bursting open simultaneously to reveal Sasuke's long-dead family.

She watched Sasuke's eyes widen, a sadistic grin piling onto her lips as she ignored the blond-haired, blue-eyed, whisker-cheeked man groaning in agony a few feet from her.

Uchiha Itachi, Mikoto, and Fugaku climbed out of their wooden graves, blinking unsteadily, wavering against the sudden rush of life that was passing through them. Blood was the common attire of all three members of this heaven-forsaken family. A white-faced Sasuke had stood from his throne, the hand gripping his katana shaking slightly.

Not a muscle of Sakura's face moved when he suddenly relaxed, closed his eyes, gave a whisper of a chuckle and turn to look at her.

Sakura closed her eyes at the same time Sasuke did, breathing a small sigh as their combined genjutsus trickled out of her consciousness. When she opened them, there was no one there but them.

"Child's play, Sasuke," she said roughly. He didn't respond. Her mouth tightened. There was no point in asking him anything anymore. He would never respond in the way she'd want him to.

She noticed her hands weren't clenched into fists. The rush to kill him was gone. She now felt lost, unanchored in a rough sea… Empty.

What had all of this been for? This wasted time…

Shaking her head, not giving him another glance, she turned her back on him, her soft footsteps loud enough to echo against the cold stone surrounding her.

He wouldn't kill her.

But as she spun to parry his incoming swipe with a chakra-protected wrist, she reminded herself that she had been wrong before. It was simply movement again, as she let her body take over, understanding that she wasn't as invested in this fight as she thought she'd be.

She didn't bother looking at his face. There were just shoulders, arms, legs, torso to analyze for muscle movement to predict incoming blows. There were hands to check for incoming ninjutsu. There was his eyes, those red eyes to observe for genjutsu, to avoid for safety… There was metal to block, to use…

There was nothing.

Her fist crashed into the wall where his head had been, her erratic chakra managing to rip off the lower portion of his escaping ponytail. The wall rumbled unhappily before it crumbled behind her as she spun and ducked to dodge another strike, moving her leg upwards to try and catch his chin. Senbon flew from her fingers, shuriken from his tattoos, the earth below attempted to swallow him whole, errant fire roared forward to mar her form.

They weren't fighting for anything. He wasn't trying, and neither was she. But there was one important difference: she didn't have time to waste.

The ceiling began crashing around her as the two earth dragons that screeched upwards from the ground ruined the room's foundations. She was in the midst of their birth, urging her hands to form seals faster and faster, as she then ran along one's neck, spitting a stream of protective fire from her lips that clashed against the one being blown from his. The dragons swerved head first to where he was, chasing him until enormous bolts of lightning shot from his hands to their foreheads, electricity sparking along their bodies as they diminished into mud. Her hands held two long kunai now, immersed in blue chakra. She blocked, parried, swiped, attacked, managed to nick his wrist, got cut from the chin up her cheek, managed to knock out his knee with a chakra-enhanced kick, had her jounin vest and torso sliced open by a swipe she barely swerved to avoid.

It was getting boring. She was sweating, panting. But bored. She needed to get out. But was unwilling to do anything drastic.

Her arm guard blocked a downward strike from his katana while her hand moved for his torso; she stepped into the blow, her shoulder knocking into his throat. He staggered a couple of feet back from her, gasping for breath, scowling as he dodged her split kick. The ground melted into a small crater where he'd been—a few feet away, he was observing her coolly, a red mark on his neck already beginning to bruise in its center.

They stayed apart like that for a few moments, until Sakura quickly swung a punch for the ground, cracks in the earth splitting towards Sasuke like an underground snake. He jumped for her, lightning cloaking his form as he pulled his arm back for a cross body sweep—she quickly pulled a few hand seals and molded some chakra for a three-layer genjutsu to mask her location. It helped some; the time he took breaking it was enough for her to grab his katana blade with a chakra-cloaked hand.

She bent the blade, gritting her teeth at its refusal to yield while she blocked a kick from Sasuke with her forearm, pulling that same arm back to finally land a satisfying punch across his cheek. She heard the crack of his jawbone as it fractured in two places, letting him go to fly a few feet from her. He flipped and skidded to a crouching stop on both feet, right eye squinted in pain. Sakura busied herself with the green glow surrounding her hand—chakra hadn't been enough to stop the blade from slicing through her palm all the way to the bones of her fingers.

Sasuke stood, tossing away the now useless, bent blade. He unsheathed his second katana with a quick movement of his wrist, shifting with high-speed to a spot to her left. She met him face to face as she spun to block the point of his blade with an armguard—

She saw him.

In that whirl of her surroundings, he was there in the doorway.

She felt her life stop for a second, not caring about the blade that screeched against her arm guard and skewered her through her left lung… Sasuke was close enough to grab. His haori was fisted in her left hand as she gritted her teeth in pain, right hand already preparing to crack his face in half…

But she'd froze, face turned towards the door.

He stood there, looking in, a bewildered, good-humored expression lighting up his face…

_This wasn't a dream. _

Sasuke had stilled as well, feeling the presence behind him. He didn't turn to look.

The color had left her face, she knew. Her lips were parted in shock and taking a breath had become difficult.

Her eyes were suddenly full.

If Sasuke's katana hadn't been holding her up… He didn't move.

So she stared.

For the life of her she stared.

And kept drinking in the sight of him, terrified he'd vanish just like before.

He noticed her.

And slowly smiled.

…

_Naruto. _


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Most of her senses were muted, on pause. For that extended moment, drawn out unbearably, she could only see. Slowly, distantly, she felt Sasuke move back, his sword sliding out of her body with him. Her breath reacted in a barely audible gasp, blood touching only the corner of her lips, as her healing chakra worked on her body subconsciously, aching for survival. His haori peeled away from her weakening grasp.

She didn't care.

He was in the doorway, looking in. Quizzical.

She knew that expression… One of thousands.

She took a small step forward. She didn't notice the brush of her left shoulder against Sasuke's right. The light touch of cloth against bare skin was somehow miles away.

His name refused to leave her lips, though she tried. She moved against herself, because in truth she wanted to run away, yet she couldn't take her eyes away from him—transfixed, like a sleepwalker still lost in a dream. She kept moving forward, hesitantly, hand stretching forward, although as if waiting to be bitten.

His cerulean eyes flickered from her pale face to Sasuke's grim profile: a reluctant witness to a reluctant reunion, the Onkyoukage couldn't keep his face fully away.

Finally, Naruto smiled a bit. At her.

"Hey," he whispered.

Sakura couldn't. She couldn't.

She'd reached him by now, shaking slightly, too lost to even attempt to cry. Her hand had risen, paused sharply at his soft voice, before continuing its ascent to his face. Gently, her fingertips met his cheek; she couldn't meet his eyes. Three of her fingers traced his whiskers from his ears forwards towards her, until her hand left his face and returned back to her side. She didn't want to stain his face with her dirty palms.

She tried. She tried to meet those deep pools of blue. Her blood pounded in her ears, a weakly renewed energy bursting in her veins. All of her will was focused into simply moving her gaze…she finally made it. Their eyes held each other carefully.

But suddenly—hers widened and narrowed before her mind processed exactly what she was looking at, gut wrenching in instantaneously realized terror, a split second before he said gently:

"… Have we met?"

OOO

He let out a breath, dust cloaking the movement of air from his lips, while a single Sharingan roved the shattered remains of a hallway and its adjoining rooms. Most of the group was still fighting. Kakashi whirled, hands undistinguishable as he brought a wall of earth to hinder a blast of deadly sonic energy shooting for him. He allowed himself to gasp a couple of breaths before he leapt over the barricade, Raikiri crackling ominously in his hand.

Deed done, stumbling forward, he then sprinted towards Rock Lee, making it just in time to counteract an incoming gust of sonic energy aiming for the taijutsu champion with a screaming blast of his own fire. He fell back into taijutsu, but only momentarily, as Sasuke had trained his men well. Maneuvering through well-aimed kicks and punches, he ended up back to back with Tenzo, taking a brief respite from physical exertion to conduct a genjutsu while protected by Mokuton ninjutsu—

Mid-hand seal, Kakashi dropped onto one knee to stop himself from completely toppling over from the force of the tremor roaring through the ground. A successive train of explosions shook the compound next and all ninja ran for cover as sky and clouded sunlight mixed with heavy rubble poured through the destroyed foundations. A few rumblings and a deep moment of darkness later, Kakashi peered upwards as Tenzo's protective wood shell opened, squinting against the grey light that contrasted so heavily from the temporary blight of Tenzo's protection. Both former ANBU nins coughed, choking on the overly dusty air. Kakashi sized up the now open battlefield—many of Sasuke's nins were slain by sudden falling chunks of ceiling. He noted Tenzo had managed to protect Sai some meters away in wood dome as well, although from the way Sai was gingerly holding his shoulder, he hadn't been able to dodge every falling stone. Kakashi peered further down the field with his Sharingan: Neji had managed to shield Ino and Rock Lee with one of his larger Kaitens.

Panting, all three were now transfixed at some point in the distance, grim expressions melding with the dirt and bruises on their faces. Kakashi did not need to turn to know why.

"Kakashi-sempai," Tenzo said lowly.

Kakashi closed his eye. His head hurt. Shielded from sight as he was, he could still hear the muted sounds of Sakura fighting both Naruto and Sasuke. From her far off battle cries of rage and the tremors beneath his feet, he knew she was responsible for the destruction of the lower levels of Sasuke's fort.

She always did like blowing up things when she was pissed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ino turn to look at him imploringly. Yanking one of his few remaining kunai from his holster and one of the katanas from his back, he turned away from her, facing instead the mob of three Sound platoons rushing for them, each numbering around forty jounins and chuunins.

"I told you," he said gently, voice carrying over the clanking of Sound armored boots. Beneath the sound of running feet, he could hear the crackling of three different energies, all at different levels of control, all with different signatures, all equally destructive. And he could smell the spilt blood of his three former students as well.

_She found him,_ he mused…

"She'll let us know when she needs help," he finished. "We can only trust her and give her the time she needs."

_Although_…

He quieted his mind forcibly as the team advanced into a single line formation, their backs to the fight they'd really come for. Ino and Sai were trying harder than the rest to not look back… Kakashi breathed deeply, securing his calm before the storm. Once ready, he charged, sending a barrage of shuriken and kunai ahead from a scroll he'd quickly unsealed with a bit of blood, Tenzo, Neji and Ino close behind while Rock Lee and Sai took to the skies, the former to open one more of his chakra gates and the latter to gain vantage on an ink eagle.

But even as he mindlessly fought, he knew exactly to what extent his life had come forth to taunt him. These younger shinobi around him—none had a trace of doubt, only a grim passion for what they believed was right: to fight for someone they loved. He sliced upwards, a few wayward flicks of blood marking his face in petty revenge.

Could he feel that way anymore?

_He was worried about doubting her. _

A stream of fire escaped his lips as Sai rushed through the resulting smoke screen to rain down a holy hell of inked tigers.

_She'd grown. _

A stream of shuriken made its way to his body, but a quick genjutsu later, and his opponent was skewered by his own weapons.

_But would it be enough…_

Three water dragons and a conduction of Raikiri through them and five Sound nins were down.

_Against both of them? _

OOO

_He'd grown wiry from weeks of starvation._

Throwing up her hands, she sent jets of water streaming from the ground, and timing her move precisely, she brought both her fists back down against the earth, interfering with the footholds of Naruto and Sasuke's landings with shockwaves and mud.

_There was prison pallor overlying that constant bronzed tan, too._

Both of their eyes were red—manic, a color she hated beyond belief now. She'd ripped off her headband—the last scrap of that dreaded color she'd ever wear again—and thrown it at Sasuke's eyes for a diversion, the incoming kunais hidden in its shadow only interrupted by a gust of windy chakra from Naruto. Sinking below the ground, leaving a buunshin wincing from the needle-like effect of Naruto's poisonous chakra behind her, she gained bearing under ground, giving herself enough space to once more destroy the ground from underneath their feet—it was her only tool at the moment to make sure they could never get a moment's rest, while she tried to think of a plan. It was at no expense to her anyway; her chakra-enhanced strength destroyed buildings with a mere fraction of the chakra used to create the Rasengan and Chidori—

Speaking of the devil, she felt both chakra manipulations coming for her underground hiding spot approximately six seconds before the actual impact. Wholly prepared, at the destruction of her surroundings, she too exploded from the ground, instantly falling into an offense of taijutsu against them both, chakra scalpels edging her hands as she kicked, punched and dodged for her life. Her body was moving at a speed she herself had not known she could reach—self-preservation did wonders for one's abilities. But still, both were unbelievably fast and she wasn't sure if she was even breathing.

_Ripped sleeves showcased the tattoos Naruto had stained his biceps with—a trail of black chakra-enhancing rectangular stamps. _

Swinging Naruto forward in a flip, she brought him crashing down into a puff of smoke, only a little too late as she ducked under the swing of two Rasengans. She managed to slice the tendons and chakra pathways of Naruto's clones' wrists on her way down, two successive kicks dispersing them quickly afterwards, although a few more inches of her loosened ponytail had been burned off.

_His hair had grown longer, scruffier. It was brought into a low unruly ponytail at the base of his neck, while shorter front pieces framed his angular face and covered his ears. _

She quickly brought her wrist guards up to deflect Sasuke's oppressive swing downwards. Gritting her teeth, she dealt out an uppercut and roundhouse kick, fist and calf leaden with chakra, flitting out the way just in time for Sasuke to have to deal with the Shuriken-Rasengan that had been careening for her. One of his eyes began to bleed as Susanoo emerged to deflect the Rasengan easily.

Skidding to a halt a distance away, she took the two seconds it needed to steal a breath. A gold-toned chakra was now leaking from Naruto's skin, while his eyes had already been hooded in orange. There had been no time for answers or questions. Sasuke had simply taken the opportunity of her silence at Naruto's greeting to strike again, and she had been forced to fight. Naruto had joined in at a whim. He'd asked no questions.

Sakura bit her lip.

_Tears in their clothing revealed the product of her endeavors—only the wounds she'd managed to inflict on Sasuke still remained while Naruto's were merely dried flecks of blood over new skin. There was distance between the two, but they still stood on the same line. And both were glaring at her._

She had to make herself believe that she could somehow get through this, snap Naruto out of it and defeat Sasuke, maybe not necessarily in that order.

_Words were failing her. She could hear fighting in the distance. Unwilling to turn her back on them, she threw out her chakra sensors as far as they could reach… Sasuke had unleashed a contingency. _

Her brows creased ominously over her beryl eyes, the green diamonds on her forehead moving with her skin.

_Tenzo, Neji, Sai, Kakashi, Ino… They weren't going to last long. It was too many against too few, no matter how talented. _

She had to.

Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply, blue chakra coming up and washing over from under her skin to coat her body in a steady, pulsing sheen. Opening her eyes, her world was sharper. She blinked against the dull ache of pain that was now emerging like a wave against her muscles… But she knew where everything was…

And she was faster and more indestructible now.

Not even bothering to swerve the multitude of shuriken aiming for her body, she continued to charge forward as the metal stars melted against her chakra cloak. She leapt into a kick for Sasuke's face, her other leg swinging around to meet Naruto's wrist in a flare of bright energy that had Naruto gritting his teeth from the gargantuan impact. Both of her hands swung out, poisoned senbon needles spitting from her fingers at speeds she wouldn't be able to create without her chakra skin. She ducked this time, as two of Susanoo's arrows careened towards her, and though she wasn't fast enough to dodge one completely, her blue-sheened skin protected her from a good amount of the damage. Biting her tongue from the pain flaring against her thigh as she leapt backwards from one of Naruto's Tailed Beast Rasengans, watching the ground dissolve into a flurry of light and rubble, her healing chakra took care of Susanoo's burns to her shoulder and side.

_She couldn't just keep dodging!_

Sakura flipped into a crouch as her hands blended into a series of seals that had the ground twisting into skewering spikes at her command. She flipped away as Sasuke brought Susanoo's sword crashing down on the spot where she'd been, the demonically charged monster heedless to the consistent stream of stone spikes shooting from the ground in an attempt to impale it, although she managed to have Naruto on his toes.

_They had almost endless amounts of chakra_.

Naruto flitted behind her, his speed impossibly undetectable, and the blow of his Rasengan only barely kept at bay by her chakra skin. She choked back a cry as he relentlessly kept on pushing the destructive ball of energy into her side, until she managed to jab her fingers forward into two tenkentsu points in his neck, her own fingers loaded with a chakra that was only barely run through with green. Blue eyes widened, and with his control of chakra abruptly hindered, an uncontrolled Rasengan exploded in fury and both Naruto and she were thrown back a few meters. Regaining her senses mid-flight, she flipped back up into a defensive stance, barely witnessing Naruto do the same. Whirling, she deflected Sasuke's strikes with two kunais she was just able to grab from her hip pouch and wove through the rest, face stoic in grim determination as Naruto joined in to fight in unison with Sasuke. Sakura managed one glimpse of Naruto's face—confirming that her haphazard, half-formed rushed medical jutsu didn't take. Her gut wrung itself dry as she ached for the time she needed… Time they were doing their best to refuse her.

She bit her lip as she caught and swung aside one of Naruto's punches, only to misjudge the placement of Sasuke's neck in a kick behind her and receive two slices along her Achilles tendon. With the same injured leg, she amassed a bit of chakra and swung it back, nicking the Uchiha's ribcage while punching Naruto into him—

Her hands flew as her seals molded the earth into waves of dirt reaching up to engulf the boys—no, these men—

Unlocking her bond with the slugs, she molded their poison into the earth as well, melting their boots, singeing exposed skin, and disintegrating the tattering clothing of her struggling ex-teammates. Their preoccupation with the insistent mud gave her a moment to flit towards Kakashi, sliding in just in time to give a fatal chakra-edged blow to the jugular of the nin who'd appeared in a flicker of sound waves just behind her ex-sensei. Kakashi spun, but his mismatched glare melted instantaneously as he saw Sakura whip around in a dirtied wave of pink and green to blow four fireballs at the Oto nins some distance away behind him. For a second, he heard her strained and panting voice, and his eyes narrowed…

"Take the others… and leave Kakashi… Please—"

She was gone again, to block the rest from Sasuke and Naruto's wrath. Before he reinserted himself into the fray, he saw them—those two boys, now two men, cloaked in a sinister sheath of raging chakra and uncontrolled anger, while his little girl, now a woman, was being forced to bear the brunt of it all. And all he could think of next, as he dodged a swipe of a naginata, was how physically small she looked against them.

OOO

It was clear that Naruto's memory had been wiped extensively and thoroughly, if Sasuke had managed to erase her from it. Sakura stood stiffly, tensely, appraising the two in front of her with a searching stare. All three of them were still capable of fighting for longer, even if the dirt and blood staining their tattered clothing told a different story. A gust of wind blew forth from the plateaus surrounding them, chasing back strands of blond, black and pink.

Something was holding them back from anything more conclusive than a stalemate. The air reeked with some sort of desperate denial of reluctance to inflict serious harm, and all three of them knew it, if the confused, introverted expression on Naruto's face as he looked at her was of any indication.

_Can you really erase a memory?_

Sakura reached up and wiped the blood gushing from her nose; her chakra cloak had lasted a good thirty minutes and she was paying the price with a really bad sinus. But none of her chakra could be wasted, even for something as simple as a nosebleed.

Sasuke's katana spun definitively as he appeared behind her, she ducked, lashing out with a leg, he ducked, she spun, throwing her left arm forward in a falcon punch that sent Naruto's buunshin into oblivion while her right arm tossed four explosive kunais at Sasuke's incoming form. Another rasengan whistled ominously behind her as she dodged, grabbing the front of the clone's jacket, tossing him into a throng of more buunshins, but only after nicking the pathways in his wrist, effectively making the clone a rocketing bomb. One more explosion couldn't hurt.

_If only she could gain the minute it would need to assess Naruto's memory loss… But she would have to immobilize both to do that… _

Dust lined their fight, and Sakura began to lose count of the nicks and cuts she was receiving. She jumped to gain air space, hurtling back down as a chakra arrow, her fist marking the center of a ring of destruction. A gust of Naruto's wind jutsu blew her way, slicing rock and her flesh; she played two genjutsus in response, one for each, using the few seconds that gave to flit towards Sasuke, just as his Sharingan blinked her genjutsu away—

Her fist met air as he moved—she twisted mid-air to avoid his Chidori blade, a few of Naruto's shuriken dug their way into her left calf and torso, she sent a stream of fire his direction—

She checked her second chakra system upon landing, stomach sinking at the emptiness she found there. Her attempts to drain Sasuke and Naruto's chakra had all been fruitless: she couldn't land a blow on any of them that would allow her the opportunity to utilize a medical jutsu and still preserve her own life. Even her capricious lassoing streams of healing chakra at Naruto had been consistently deflected by Sasuke… Spinning, she grabbed Naruto's clone's collar and threw him at Sasuke, breath leaving her as the real versions of both appeared behind her, hands swirling in chakra pulled back—she leapt upwards, explosive shuriken littering from her hands to ignite their Rasengan and Chidori—the blast propelled her forward, and she landed unsteadily, skidding to a stop. Black smoke cleared away to reveal their unharmed figures—

_Her plan worked_.

The ground was disintegrating, both Naruto and Sasuke stumbled, finally unsure—her actually strategically placed punches from above and below ground since the start of their fight had formed a pattern unstable enough to cause the plateau to cave in on itself for several hundred feet down—and her old teammates in the center of it all.

The frustration on their faces would have made Kakashi proud, as she crouched on her delicate perch at the edge of this sinking whirlpool of earth, especially since the sealed shuriken and kunai she'd tossed around throughout the fight had connected on command to form a thin, imperceptible, unbreakable net of chakra that was trapping their sandals to the ground.

She flipped upwards and landed a few meters to the side, only to cartwheel around the still falling crater, as Sasuke tried to pin her with an extended Chidori blade and Naruto was sending continuous volcanic balls of various Rasengans her way. The steadily inward avalanche of boulders surrounding them on all sides made their distant attacks on her gradually more intermittent, as they battled against the force of unleashed nature.

Sakura stood still for once, her much-shortened ponytail whipping around her neck, while her bangs screened her eyes in a rushing movement of magenta. She blinked steadily, face expressionless, until the respite from fighting came to catch up with her. Sakura swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry… She was watching her former teammates die. Green eyes were too dry to tear, soul too cold to weep, and yet she was drowning in the overwhelming monstrosity of this moment… She watched. They couldn't pay attention to her anymore, too preoccupied with surviving a whirlpool of stone, with no rest from their need to destroy a multitude of incoming boulders. They were using their signature jutsus to prolong their lives, sword and elemental ninjutsus hindered by rock and time… Their movements did nothing to screen their faces from her: Sasuke's mouth was set in a thin line, too preoccupied to sneer. Naruto's face was a portrait of rage, animalistic yet controlled…

_At her… They were angry at her… _

The dried blood on her hands crinkled and broke, as her fists began to shake from the effort it was taking to tamp down the measure of panic clawing at her throat—at the fact that she was the one burying her teammates alive. She wasn't trying to contain them, immobilize them, knock them out… She realized with a new ache in her chest that she was now trying to kill them. Her eyes abruptly squinted in pain, brow creased in dull agony…

_Was it even worth trying to save either of them at this point?_

…_Did she want to?_

A purple scream of energy marked Sasuke's failing to produce Susanoo, as he couldn't hold back a cry of pain at the entire right side of his ribcage and right foot shattering at a boulder he was too late to destroy. Even from a distance, the fury in Naruto's eyes was palpable, as he repeatedly sent blasts of gold and black energy outwards, steadily losing ground against the incoming tide of stone—one wayward boulder careening into his torso bringing up blood as he coughed harshly…

The noise of erupting ground was too loud… Sakura winced as a sharp pain in her forehead blossomed like a light… Sakura thought she heard Ino, or Kakashi calling to her…

For a brief moment, a view of Konoha from the Hokage Monument, sprawling before her in a gold rush of life as the sun set—

She held back a scream of frustration as she brought her leg up and brought it crashing down in a split kick that momentarily counteracted falling stone and sent her chakra down in streams to dislodge the bits of metal creating the network holding Naruto and Sasuke immobile… She flitted towards them, dodging rock and their attacks, avoiding their eyes, grabbing both by their collars and swinging them free from the wreckage—

Sakura didn't have time.

She gasped as a stream of lightning threw her backwards, bruising her against still falling stone, and bit her lip as she was pinned to stable ground some distance away. She struggled to contain the electricity in a small perimeter around its entrance, fingers twitching as small bolts interfered with her nervous system… Stones loosened upwards by her kick were now crashing down around her, choosing now of all times to pay her luck. They were coming, their footfalls giving away their injuries and murderous intent—

With a small pop, a small log cracked apart around the electric blade as Naruto blocked a punch from Sakura with his forearm, leaping upwards, his red eyes confronted with tired green… Twisting to kick her with both legs, she evaded both, leaning forward with both hands outlined in a steady emerald glow that disappeared suddenly as she unleashed a hastily released scroll of forty thousand senbon at an incoming Sasuke…

_It would never end._

Her hands tinged in green, not blue, chakra continuely careened for Naruto's head, each blow interfered by Sasuke, each blow becoming more and more desperate—

_Not enough time…_

She gritted her teeth and swung mindlessly, steadily gaining ground as she pushed Naruto towards the edge of the still forming pit she'd trapped them in earlier. She batted away Sasuke's genjutsu with a flick of her head, tossing an explosive note at his feet, dodging, dodging, dodging—

The ground beneath Naruto's feet gave way unexpectedly—

She froze, before bursting forward, her hand outstretched at the same time as his eyes widened in surprise, pinning on her pale face on his way down…

_She was there, three years ago… He was falling. _

Naruto rushed past her in a glow of light, speed elevating him upwards and out, a ball of vicious black energy already forming in his hand as he spun back towards her. She'd be too late. Her head twisted back in a swirl of the deepest rose—beryl gaze lost, frightened, confused, as if she'd just woken up—

There was a blur of black and the palest ivory, before she could say, "No"—

Sakura lost the will to scream as she was thrown backwards, catching Sai's crumpling body, her thin arms not quite able to hold him fully. Her boots scuffed the ground as she skimmed to a stop, bent forward from the weight of the artist. Too quickly, the shock passed, and her heart was now ebbing against her will. Uncaring, unaware, ignorant now of the two men she was supposed to be fighting, she fell to her knees hard, cradling Sai's head and shoulders with arms that were too bruised and dirtied and littered with too many cuts…

The two smaller side diamonds on her forehead flared and disappeared, sinking into her skin, their restrained power surging through her arms in veins of the palest concentrated green as they entered Sai's body through her hands. She was whispering, "Hold on, hold on," frantically, unaware she was even speaking as she fought to keep his heart beating, his lungs moving, even though Naruto's Rasengan had destroyed more than two-thirds of each organ.

_He had to learn to smile, laugh, love… Like them all, but only a little too late. _

She held back bile as her body protested the sudden purging of chakra. He was so heavy against her. And so pale… So pale.

_He hated all dango except hers. And called her Ugly. Made up for the lack of her smiles with his, dropped by just because, defended her from the rest with his quiet yet gradually loudening ways, changed, changed her… _

She was dry-heaving, hyperventilating, knowing that they were headed this way, yet all she was looking at now was a man she was keeping alive through the sheer will of her chakra. He was bleeding too much. Sai's eyes opened weakly to fix on her broken face.

"Sai," she whispered, tears dropping off her cheeks onto his—she didn't know she was crying. She searched his eyes in anguish, choking on their losing focus…

They were still walking this way, taking their time.

_He'd helped. He'd always try to help…_

He was trying to say something. Sakura's arms tightened around him, trying to ignore how cold the skin of his neck was becoming against her arm. Green chakra still leaking from her hands, she couldn't afford to brush his bangs out of his eyes. She closed her own, because he had closed his and she couldn't bear the sight of it. Leaning forward, she pressed her forehead tightly against his, praying that someone would save him…

His voice, a weak brush against her cheek, "…It's… Tomio."

Sakura nodded; wet, red-rimmed eyes opened to peer into the fine veins threading his pale lids, hoping that they'd blink, wishing that this wasn't it, that this wasn't her, wasn't him—

His name.

Her breath caught in her throat as a sob finally escaped her throat, her shoulders shaking from constraining the rest, she held on, and like all the times before, it was useless... He was so still, too still to be sleeping.

They had stopped an arm's length away.

Her head remained bowed, her fists digging into his torn flak jacket as she whispered his name over and over, masking the sound of her chakra running out and the sound of his last breath before the chakra of her main diamond could catch it.

It was silent.

How?

Wasn't she screaming still? Again?

Yet she wasn't hearing anything…

The scrabble for time was forgotten at the doorway of death, so she didn't know how long she'd been kneeling there… Loose dirt caked the cuts on her legs. He was cold, but she wasn't letting go, even though she could feel Sasuke's blade lifting, coming down. In her last moment, she felt herself think his name and for some reason, not care…

_Naruto… There's no hope left for any of us—_

A sudden wall blocked his sword, light, air, finally pulling her head up from Sai's at the shock of its appearance.

_His name is Tomio. _

Her arms wrapped even tighter around Sai's body defensively as she stared at the tip of the katana two inches away from her nose, caught by a thick wall of... It was too light to be earth… _His name is Tomio… _

At the crackle of electricity, she cringed and moved to cover Sai's body with her own as the wall exploded.

_Tomio._

She coughed, peering up through the haze, realizing she was witnessing Naruto and Sasuke's movements against a dark, enveloping, capricious mass of darkness coming from behind her, that swerved and struck and attacked almost too fast to be detected—it was slowly pushing them back farther and farther away from her, though she too was slowly being dragged forward by the force of the wind currents from it. Ducking low, she bent her head into his cold neck as the wind screamed around her ears, cutting her bare arms with an unusual graininess—

"_Ryuu Sabakuryuu!" _thundered through the air and thrummed beneath her knees. At the sudden extra gust of wind nearly toppling her forward, she looked back at the towering wave of sand coming for her and Team Seven. Survival momentarily interrupted her daze. Slapping her hand to the ground to release a Doton ninjutsu to create some sort of shelter against the wave—she paused at the delicate whirl of sand around her wrist.

"That won't be necessary," Gaara stated simply as the wave opened to move past them in a rush of air. Steps slow, unhurried, deliberate, he approached—chakra menacing, though she wasn't sure, wasn't looking, she just felt his steps and yet felt nothing at the same time—

He eventually stopped by her side, at which she made the effort to at least look at her savior. All she knew was his hair flaming against the dull sky like a streak of blood. _There was blood on her hands. _Unaware of the strange blankness to her face, she simply looked at him… Only a few words away from dumbness and numbness—_although the two might have become the same_… Teal eyes spared her one glance before he knelt, the whisper of, "_Sabaku Taiso!_" at odds with the power suddenly surging below the ground and an ominous grumble ending before it began, a circle of suddenly constricted sand where Naruto and Sasuke had been standing the only indication of its passing.

_She buried them… Was burying them. _

Sakura squinted blearily against the dust and wind, surrendered to the oppressive stillness caving in on her. She couldn't see either of them, although she felt their chakra flare—and disappear…

She sagged, too tired to narrow her eyes in suspicion, or widen them in surprise… They simply went out—

Bloodied, useless hands were limp against Sai's… Tomio's chest. Staring blankly at the gaping hole through his flak vest, she dimly registered the carving through his flesh and bone until his spine glittered through the red. Jade eyes trailed to his pale face impulsively, thoughtlessly.

_She should've known better_.

He didn't look at peace.

…

_Where did they go?_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Leaden by the weight of regret and disappointment… and the body in her arms, Sakura slumped forward. From a distance, a hawk wheeling overhead, she was nothing but a bloody, dirty, sweat-soaked, drained heap. Head bowed impossibly low, shoulders following suit, she forgot about the still whirling sand brushing against her bare arms and drying her already parched lips. It took a few tries for her to whisper his name before she succeeded, the raspy voice that toppled out almost unrecognizable, even to her—

"Gaara," she managed, "Could you help me… ?"

A breath of sand around her lap and the body she was holding lifted without her, steadied by a gradually solidifying platform. She remained kneeling during its ascent, her now black and blue hand last to leave his cold weight, his cold wrist. Light was still gray as it beat upon her mercilessly. She blinked slowly, as each movement of her eyelids required a disproportionate amount of effort. Her head and chest felt so hollow, yet so heavy. A pale hand suddenly materialized into view. She would've recoiled from the abrupt movement, if she were able to do anything at all. But she just glanced upwards, neck muscles protesting from the slight motion...

Blinking once to focus, to not seem rude, she tried her best to seem alert. The planes of his face were too smooth, too blank to make simple the task of finding sympathy there. When Sakura let herself look at his eyes, however, she found hard warmth, tempered by perseverance against unimaginable toil… A gaze she had always wanted to attain, one with some palpable strength… a gaze she'd never managed to achieve. _She was too weak… _ Her sight lowered back to his hand, no longer wanting to understand his silent words.

Everyone's waiting_. _

Sakura closed her eyes briefly before her dirt and blood encrusted hand lifted and met his, gripping it tightly as she hauled herself up, noting with displeasure just how much support she needed, especially when her knees buckled quickly, unexpectedly. To say she hadn't fought so hard for so long in her life would be an exact truth, however extreme, and her muscles were not happy with her. A jarring step forward steadied her, as well as the cool large hand wrapped tightly beneath hers. Wincing, she shook her head free against the wave of dizziness and nausea folding over her forehead and sight like a helmet. A few measured breaths later, and she was able to stand on her own, straightening, finally observing the absolute destruction of the landscape around her… In front of her.

Her hand loosened from Gaara's and moved to gently brush the side of Tomio's cold cheek. His pale skin contrasted sharply with the red and brown staining her fingers. Sakura's eyes lingered, unsure of how to stop the unwanted pressure against the back of her throat, her eyes, her heart... She couldn't remember how it felt to cry only a few minutes ago… Was it just minutes? Eyes screwing together tightly, she tried to erase and remember him—erase his death, remember him as he lived… But at this point, how could one be without the other?

_We did this. _

Breath hitching, she gritted her teeth, shaking from both effort and exhaustion… and she stopped.

She had to stop.

She'd said she would.

Her movements hindered by pain, but unbroken through perseverance, she slowly unzipped what remained of her flak jacket. There were no scrolls left in it; it was utterly of no use to her. But for him… She draped the tattered green canvas gently over his torso, covering the unnatural cavity that worsened his death. Her sleeveless black turtleneck jounin shirt lay in jagged strips around her waist, but sweat still saturated the shirt. An errant wind cooled the cloth. She was no longer warm.

Gradually making herself more aware of what was around her, Sakura felt the signatures of all her teammates—all significantly weaker but all definitely there—and felt one of the knots in her gut loosen, but only just. A stark contrast to the signatures of Gaara's fresh battalion of four hundred chuunin and jounin didn't help but emphasize how drained the group was. Suna med-nins were already tending them—a task she knew she was grateful to have help with, as she only had one reserve chakra diamond left, and none of her own to even get her back to Konoha in a timely fashion.

Moving past her, Gaara began walking back towards his troops—an impossibly straight-backed figure, despite the weight of his gourd—Tomio's body floating gently beside him. Sakura stood still, though cognizant that she should've already been walking with him, towards the low bustle of busy life towards the near horizon. But…

There wasn't any wind left.

Her face lifted, bruises, smudges of dirt and dried blood made that much more prominent by her already porcelain skin blanched by fatigue of all kinds. Closing her eyes against the weak warmth thrown out by a cloud-shrouded late afternoon sun, she realized how much and how little time had past. Fights did that. They'd throw off one's perception of time, space, and oftentimes, of oneself. She hated that part the most—hated it for loving it. Throwing her chakra sensors as far as they could go, searching for them while an empty, dead rage built a hollow chill in her stomach, she absently clenched and unclenched her fists.

They weren't here.

_Naruto…_

Eyes barely open before she was whipping around to follow Gaara, teeth closing painfully over the inside of a cheek to handle the fresh wave of agony rolling up her leg as she tried to move. Swallowing back a scream more of aggravation than pain, Sakura limped, her split Achilles tendon's failure to clot thus exacerbated and leaving a trail of dark red behind her. Five minutes of pure, untended, and yet welcome, agony before she reached him—Gaara had waited after all. He'd stopped and had been watching her progress, turning once more as she neared. Together, they trekked across the dirt plain, the voices of many growing steadily louder. She stayed near Tomio, doing her best to not look down, to not think, to not feel…

Entering the camp meant passing by a kneeling line of Oto POWs, Sakura gave Gaara just one glance. He didn't miss much, and said with a slight chill, "You need not worry about them."

Sakura couldn't help the frown that creased the skin between her eyebrows, but she chewed her words and thoughts carefully before she asked, "And what of the citizens?"

To this Gaara seemed a little more accommodating: "Most had already been coming as refugees to Suna. I'm sure Konoha, Ame and Suna will work something out," he said crisply, although judging by the almost imperceptible lilt of his voice and the focused unspent anger still weighing his brow, it was clear that Oto citizens would be last on his list of priorities. Sakura didn't get to press the issue further as she approached her teammates. A skein of silky mahogany hair, a shred of bright green cloth, and a tuft of brown hair against burnished metal headgear were all that Sakura could make out from the bustle around them. Neji, Rock Lee and Tenzo were conveniently buried underneath at least three Suna med-nins each. Sakura swallowed heavily—chakra was weak from all three. From the fray, Ino seemed to suddenly materialize, her ponytail whipping around her in a cyclone of gold as her head turned sharply towards Sakura. Standing shakily, her eclectic and fashionable jounin outfit revealed itself to be much less than its former glory. Strangely, Ino didn't seem to care at all, as she hurried to Sakura with obvious relief on her gashed and hastily bandaged face—

Which vanished instantaneously, to be replaced by a slow-moving horror at the prone figure between the Kazekage and Sakura. Ino stopped dead, her ripped deep purple skirt fluttering against her thigh-high boots in delicate disbelief. The silence was perilously thick, and none of them wanted to disturb it. Ino didn't seem to want to move any nearer. Frozen still, at a distant too far to be close, suddenly wet, light blue eyes rose slowly, desperately to meet Sakura's. Green eyes flickered away, downwards; she wanted to quake under that stare, shake her head, and do something, anything… Sakura's head bowed of its own accord; unable to bear Ino's unspoken questions, her eyebrows pinched in guilt so inordinate it was making her numb.

_It was her fault. _

She heard Ino let out a shaky breath, the exhale shuttered by parched lips pressing together tightly. Limping forward, Sakura reached for Ino's bare shoulder, squeezing it lightly once her bloody palm rested against soft skin. There was really nothing she could say, as words of comfort failed to form from lack of practice and use. Pushing against her diaphragm uselessly, Sakura tried and tried, but found her throat empty, the air voiceless.

Ino hastily wiped her cheeks after rubbing her eyes roughly for a bit, her strongly beautiful face momentarily disappearing behind the blood and dirt-stained backs of her hands and wrists… Ino was missing two fingernails; the red stain from where they'd used to be too mockingly shallow and dark to be nail polish... Of all things to cry about… Sakura squeezed her eyes shut to disperse the moisture suddenly appearing there. As if realizing her physical appearance was under scrutiny, Ino brought her hands away from her face, gaze flickering just once to Sai's body, resting there before hurriedly reverting back to Sakura. Blue eyes weren't rimmed with red—Ino had breathed enough. The feisty blonde pulled her features into a defiant mask of confidence, braving a grim smile. And as if reading her mind said hurriedly, voice slightly shaky but thick with her usual self-assured strength, "It wasn't your fault, Sakura."

Startled, Sakura waited silently, searching her best friend's face for some nonexistent explanation, but Ino's eyes were cloudy and unfocused, her mind elsewhere as she said sadly, "He'd run off suddenly… I didn't think—… "

Swallowing heavily, Sakura's face became strained, as she felt the sharp memory of Tomio's death barreling into her thoughts and stomach simultaneously. It was only broken by Ino's low voice, and replaced by a dull chill, as the mind-manipulator asked pensively, "Which one? It was Sasuke-kun, wasn't it?"

Sakura froze, her mouth going dry almost immediately. She could feel Gaara's stare against her back.

Guilt over wanting to lie forced the smallest shake of her head.

It was Ino's turn to look startled. Sakura refused to meet her eyes. So frowning, Ino placed her hand over the one Sakura was still gripping her shoulder with, holding it tightly until Sakura did manage to lift her head, fixing Ino with a stare that was too desperate to not bode ill. Challenging Sakura with a fiery glint in the baby blue eye not shadowed by a curtain of blond hair, Ino firmed her voice, her resolve, hid her doubts and asked, "So what do we do now?"

OOO

Accompanied, or rather supported, by a small group of Suna soldiers and their Kazekage, their progress home was slow, hindered by thick layers of bandages and fatally drained chakra systems. Lee could not see out of one eye. Neji had broken both of his wrists. Tenzo's chakra system had been laid bare, so much that he could not even produce a three-walled shack for shelter. Kakashi was limping heavily yet refusing to let anyone treat him. Ino, though, had escaped much physical damage by flitting in and out of her opponents' consciousness while her body was hidden in a specialized genjutsu she'd created with Sakura a few months back. However, the blonde's luck had drawn short against a nin wielding a scythe attached to a hidden chain. Underneath the bandages covering the left side of her face was a scar trailing from her scalp down to the skin of her neck. Ino wouldn't take the bandages off in front of anyone.

As for Sakura herself… She just stared at her hands. Wiped clean at a small river they'd camped near a day prior, she'd been able to wash most of the grime covering her arms, face, neck and hands. It had taken a while. Her injuries were mostly superficial; the more traumatic internal bleeding induced by hits from the Tailed Beast Rasengan were still throbbing, but not life-threatening. Her Achilles' tendon had been healed nicely by a Suna med-nin. Walking wasn't painful anymore, though running still posed a problem.

At the moment, she sat with her knees drawn up before a small campfire, its smoke a light gray shadow against the dull darkness of late night. The trees around them were silent—the presence of so many people had long driven away any crickets or small animals.

Tossing some nearby twigs into the dying blaze a few feet in front of her, Sakura surveyed the rough camp they'd set up. Everyone was asleep, or just quiet.

Kakashi was breathing deeply not too far from her; he was clearly exhausted enough to take a heavy nap—something he rarely indulged in on missions. Ino, Lee, and Neji were bundled in blankets, curled up on the ground, only recognizable by the tops of their heads. They too were fast asleep, if the deep breathing and slight snoring from all three was of any indication. Tenzo was awake, though resting, four meters away. The obvious discomfort on his face made Sakura shift her attention elsewhere abruptly. A few Suna shinobi were on watch, chatting in low voices while Gaara sat against a tree at the edge of the clearing, arms folded across his armored chest in meditative fashion. His teal eyes were shut.

Sakura didn't look any further to know who else was with them. Shutting her eyes, she rested her head against her knees, arms curling around her calves more tightly. Her toes were warm.

Tomio's body rested in a block of ice just thick enough to encase him completely, courtesy of Kakashi. Gaara's sand was insulating and covering the body from sight at the same time.

By now she was throwing whatever was within hand's reach at the flames, which bore such treatment gamely, only puttering indignantly at a small handful of dirt.

She was useless.

At the moment, at least, she was completely and utterly useless.

She'd never once been drained so thoroughly and so completely that she'd been unable to seal up a simple scrape. All of her chakra was gone. Three days of rest had allowed for the slow beginnings needed for her to replenish her system, but once they began the journey home, her body had automatically began to use her main diamond reserve to keep from shutting down; she was moving only because of it. There'd been essentially none left to salvage for her teammates.

They had looked so expectantly at her…

And yet, they'd moved away once they realized she couldn't help them.

By the first nightfall of the day they'd battled Otogakure, she'd only managed to close the edges of a gaping kunai wound on Tenzo's tricep before waking up fourteen hours later with no memory of how she'd come to wake up staring at tree foliage on a late afternoon, a full thirty miles from the Sound Hidden Village. Gaara had apparently carried her on a moving bed of sand alongside Tomio, after Kakashi had passed out briefly from attempting to piggyback her the entire way. The poor geezer…

Lips pressed together tightly, Sakura shifted, and lay back down on her sleeping roll slowly—her abdominals shrieked unappreciatively. Once successfully flat on her back, Sakura closed her eyes, both hands at her sides, one near her kunai holster, and the other at a scroll holster. She tried to breathe deeply, to meditate. She gave up after less than a minute. There was a storm in her chest and her head that refused to be quelled. Sakura resigned herself to thought until sleep overtook her…

The mission had been a failure.

What would she tell them?

The darkness glinting above her had no answers.

All worn out, her teammates had thankfully refrained from asking any questions, opting for a more detailed, official meeting once back at Konoha, by which they could be alert and fully functioning human beings. If anything, it gave her the time to prepare what to say, for even she'd yet to understand the events that had happened so recently. That whole day, fraught with fighting and death, was now just a blur, when usually the horrors of missions keep her awake at night with gruesome detail…

She hadn't spoken a word since she'd woken. There was too little to say and nothing to say it with. Her friends accepted this silence with their own and kept their distance.

_Though_…

She turned onto her side, her back to Kakashi, Ino, and everyone else. The empty fullness of the forest crossing her vision gave her little comfort; they seemed little less than mocking, horizontal cage bars.

She wouldn't have minded, had they stayed near.

OOO

There wasn't much light passing through the large windows, even though it was midday. Silence didn't help the overcast atmosphere, either. Empty seconds ticked by as the seated shinobi around her stayed drawn into themselves, unsure of where to begin for fear of where it would all end.

Shikamaru had long since closed his eyes, leaning back into the chair he occupied at the head of the table. Only the deep frown etched into his face assured the rest of the shinobi gathered that he was not asleep. Gaara sat at Shikamaru's right, his expressionless face a grim reminder of what a hard life can do. Sakura refrained from shifting uncomfortably in her seat. The uncomfortable stiffness of the cold wood didn't help. Neither did the silent tension that she was met with after she briefed the room with the events following her split from the group.

No one would meet her eyes, so she resorted to staring at the slightly reflective surface of the mahogany table before her. A few minutes into her report, and she realized she could see them all anyway… Or, at least the bottoms of their faces.

Neji finally broke the silence, asking Gaara, "How'd you know when and where to show up?"

Gaara leveled a glance at Sakura, saying, "You said you just needed two days… And I said, I'd move my troops in seven."

"…It was only five days," Sakura deadpanned.

"Therefore I had only mobilized one eighth of my troops," Gaara returned smoothly. "We were unaware of your mission until my scouts had reported on the destruction you," he looked pointedly at Sakura, "were inflicting on the landscape. We moved as fast as we could."

"And then Sasuke and Naruto just, disappeared?" asked Kakashi.

Gaara and Sakura both nodded. The following silence answered any unspoken question of, "To where?"

They could be shacking up in another dimension, for all Sakura knew. Other dimensions were apparently Sasuke's specialty. It was befitting of a coward who couldn't deal with the dimension he was born into. Sakura's eyebrows screwed together, the green of her eyes shaded black by the shadows of her downturned head. She was sick and tired of thinking badly of him. She was sick and tired of just thinking of him.

"So, is Oto up for grabs?" asked Ino.

Shikamaru shrugged, sharing a look with Gaara, as he said, "Until Mei-sama gets back to us, Suna and Konoha will only be jointly providing relief aid and limited law enforcement to Oto citizens. We need to meet with Kirigakure and Oto representatives before we can decide whether incorporation of Oto will be necessary."

Everyone seemed to give a slight nod. Besides, Sakura noted, Oto was a burden no one at the table was willing to address when the prospect of a war-mongering Sasuke on the loose hovered over them like a bad haunt.

Speaking of war and of Sasuke, Sakura pinned Gaara with the most authoritative glare she could muster and said firmly, "You should probably go back and reinforce your troops along the border you share with Iwa. If Sasuke had escaped there, we should expect some retaliation."

Gaara didn't try to pin her with an authoritative stare. He _did_ pin her with an authoritative stare, his lightly nasal voice brimming with dry sarcasm, "I'd be more worried about Konoha if I were you. Suna's troops would only be an asset if Sasuke should decide to attack Konoha."

"He will," Sakura argued, "But Sasuke is Konoha's problem. We will deal with him."

"Sakura," Kakashi eased, "If Sasuke does decide to attack us… More lives will be lost. And you say Naruto is blindly fighting with him? There is no one left in Konoha that could defeat the both of them together. Our only chance of survival is working together." His voice was warm, comforting… Sakura kept herself from glaring, focusing on the mahogany finished wood in front of her.

_She could. _

Brushing off the underestimation she should've gotten used to by now, she simply shook her head, the much shorter strands brushing against her collarbone. "I can last against them in a window of twenty-six to forty-eight minutes, depending on how soon either of them start using Susanoo or the Nine-Tails Chakra Mode. I can guarantee that I will be able to seal them if they attack Konohagakure directly. During that window, Konoha has plenty of capable ninja to prepare their defeat," she said coolly.

Everyone seemed reassured. Hell, even he was. The entire group had seen the way she was almost able to defeat them. Who knows how much better she could do if she's prepared and fully driven (especially with a motivation like the village behind her)? But… Kakashi's visible eye narrowed ever so slightly as he watched Sakura enter into a discussion of possible defensive preparations with the rest of the group.

_There was something else… _

He couldn't see in on her face, this concealment. But he certainly felt it. Sakura's small smile at Rock Lee only made the discomfort in his chest worse.

_He didn't like it. _

OOO

It was raining by the time the meeting had ended. Walking out of the Hokage Tower, gravel and mud sloshed against the heels of her boots while she trudged slowly towards her apartment. Whatever had been holding her up—back straight, chin lifted, and eyes clear—had by now certainly been expended. Her shoulders drooped, while her eyes remained downcast.

Her chakra was only barely back. She would need another few days to recover. Even attempting to refill her second chakra system didn't work, as the absorbed chakra backfired, exploding erratically, and causing muscle hypertension that just wouldn't go away.

No one was outside. Bleary green eyes peered through the grey mist and fog from behind sodden pink bangs. The market was devoid of people. But the lights were on inside homes and buildings, the brightness dimmed into a glow by the rain. Sakura felt the corners of her lips move upwards just a tad. No matter the weather, here was still home.

But wincing, she stumbled a little, brought back to herself rather ungraciously by the cramp in her leg… Straightening with some effort, she quickened her pace. There was no denying it: she was in continuous physical pain. Yet, she wasn't upset about it. Rather, it was a relief from the torture of not knowing whether the pain she was feeling was real or imagined, rational or irrational. Unlike memories, inflamed nerve cells were definitely real and didn't allow any leeway for questioning its significance.

Sakura was a little less than drenched when she reached the door to her home. Leaving her boots outside her doorway to dry, a jingle of her keys, and she was finally at the entrance of where she belonged. Inside was dark, as she'd left it. A habitual movement from her hand to flick on the light paused midway, before falling to her side. The door shut silently behind her as she stared at the painting on the wall. She couldn't make out individual brush strokes in this light.

Her hand reached out, almost a ghost hand, touching the smooth paper softly.

The wet cotton of her back met the plaster of the wall behind her. Slowly, she slid down to sit on the floor, face and eyes empty. Even sitting was an effort. She gently moved to lie down, curling up into a sodden dark mass as the rain kept pelting against her window.

She was so cold.

OOO

He woke suddenly, head throbbing and chest heaving in agony. His hair clung to his forehead and neck, drenched in sweat. Gasping and doubling over, his large, rough hands pressed tightly against his lower left shoulder… When his breathing had steadied, both still shaking hands covered his face, concealing eyebrows scrunched in thought and frustration. Moments ticked past, a cool breeze escaping into his room from the crack in the papered window, before two cerulean, bloodshot eyes slowly emerged between tanned, calloused fingers.

His stare into the dark nothingness in front of him drowned with intensity, from conviction based only on intuition, sleepless nights, and incessant dreams. Hands dropped to the bed sheets tangled in a damp clump around his torso. Fingers clenched slowly, but tightly.

_He'd known her. _

In the adjacent room, obsidian irises confronted the darkness, frozen open, unblinking, and listening.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

It was dusk, yet she still hadn't dressed for their memorial service. So. She was late…

She just sat at her desk. The lights weren't on. She understood the foolhardiness of her immobility, but the effort to move seemed almost impossible when her body felt like lead. So, Sakura kept staring blankly at her desktop. Eyes weren't moving to scan the surface anymore—it was already committed to memory. And thus she realized: she didn't really have pictures of her friends anymore. The frames remaining only contained a small portrait of her parents' wedding and a playground photo she took with Ino when they were attending the academy. The first photograph of Team 7 was facedown on her dresser. Any photos of Naruto were banished to his room next door, along with all the people in those photos who were her friends… Or were they simply just his friends? Sakura's eyebrow creased—the first movement her face had made within an hour.

Had she given up everything of herself again, just for a boy? Was she nothing without the men in her life?

Small hands ran a tense course through frayed pink strands, ending wrapped around the back of her neck. Standing up abruptly from her chair, she ignored the wooden legs giving small shrill squeals against her hardwood floor. Making her way to the dresser, she roughly yanked open her bottommost drawer and shuffled through stacks of folded clothing. The black ensemble was not too deeply buried. And clearly showed signs of wear.

The process of throwing them on was unceremonious and rushed. Grabbing her sandals from her doorway hall, she made for her living room window, choosing to be in the air before she'd have to say goodbye, though not for good. She could picture him smiling at the thought of her wanting to fly. He of all people would've understood the thrill of being in the air. Nearly three-quarters of his inked animals had been airborne creatures.

The wind helped some. It brought feeling back to her skin. That is, until she saw the group of black amassed around three fresh memorial slabs. The granite pieces were already surrounded by a tide of white chrysanthemums, their petals lapping against the cold stones like frozen waves.

She landed gently at the backmost of the crowd, only the slightest wave of dust caused by her arrival. Her chakra still substantially depleted, no one noticed her. For once shielded by anonymity, her arms wrapped around herself protectively and her head remained low as the crowd moved slowly, individuals moving at turns past the stones to lay their flowers down. Heads bowed, eyes downcast, shoulders drooped; everyone performed their part dutifully. No one cried. No one wanted to further abuse the waste of Tomio, Kiba, and Akamaru's lives with regret. Yet still, she felt her fingernails through her shirt, gripping her arms tightly. For a split second, she felt she would've preferred tears.

_He had reminded her of someone else the first time they'd met. _

The sun was almost gone, as if they'd all been here and were leaving with the sun's last rays.

_He'd become so much more important than the person he was formerly thought a shadow of._

Sakura observed the crowd, the backs of heads and height the only clues she had for identification. Woken from her coma recently, only to hear the news of her teammate's death, Hinata's face was buried in her hands, which in turn was buried in Neji's shoulder, while Shino stood staunchly by her side. Only the topmost part of Kakashi's mop of grey hair was visible above the crowd—he was somewhere in the middle. Sakura was sure Ino was near the front…

Sakura closed her eyes… She'd wait.

She missed him, the hollowness in her chest enlarged and raw... Sai, Tomio, whoever he wanted to be. Her hands were now gripping her arms so tightly she didn't feel them anymore.

_I wish I could've remembered to thank him._

Pale lips tightened and she crumpled even further into herself. She remained this way, throughout everyone else's silence. She could almost hear her heartbeat thrumming softly in her ears—a pressure that just refused to leave her. She wasn't aware of the weather. She soon became equally oblivious to the increased movement of those around her, until she looked up and realized that it was night, raining slightly, and that she was one of only a few people left.

It was only a few more moments until they'd left as well.

She was alone.

Taking the first step forward didn't make the journey closer any easier. Her footfalls were heavy, and more difficult than they should be.

Shouldn't she be used to this by now?

She hadn't any flowers. She'd forgotten.

The rain was only making everything colder. But, maybe the white chrysanthemums piled up before her would last longer this way, until they inevitably shriveled brown and were swept away by future winds and footfalls.

There were no bodies beneath her. Her now dripping hair had fallen past her bent face from the weight of water. Streams of dark pink brushed the sight of her toes, grass, and ivory flowers.

They weren't underneath.

Kiba and Akamaru's bones were somewhere else, probably never to be found. On Sai's desk, the apartment landlord had found what appeared to be a roughly outlined, first draft of a last testament, with crossed-out sentences and scribbles. The clearest request on the document was that his body be cremated and buried next to his brother's resting place. Sakura lifted her head slightly to stare at the name carved into the granite in front of her. It didn't read 'Tomio.' Due to its classified nature and Sai's reluctance to tell anyone else, she was the only one left alive who knew that Sai had desperately wished for someone to finally call him by the name his parents had given him. The document she'd given him containing this information was nowhere to be found in his apartment. She assumed he'd burned it. He hadn't even been given the time to come to terms with his birth name. If she wanted to, she could blame herself for this. Actually, she desperately wanted to. But he might not have wanted her to do that. Admittedly, she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to do that. So she'd try not to, for as long as she can.

His ashes would be ready by tomorrow. She'd make the journey herself.

So.

It was officially dark. She couldn't make out the name he had went by anymore. She glanced to her left. Nor could she see Kiba's and Akamaru's. Looking up, the surrounding treetops were just as dark as the sky with no stars to illuminate their silhouettes tonight, but she could hear the dogs of the Inuzaka clan howling in a ceremony of loss. She hadn't seen Hana or any other Inuzaka show up for the funeral for that matter, unless they'd left earlier than she came. Sakura supposed they just didn't want to publicize their grief.

Her attire was now sufficiently drenched. So, she turned and just kept walking. One step after another. One step before the other. One step. One step. One step…

The motion of her left foot was suddenly hindered at the base of a wooden post. Slowly returning her foot to rest beside its pair, she lifted her head.

In front of her were nicks and scratches and small, deep indentations from the hasty kunai and clumsily thrown shuriken thrown by generation after generation of genin. She didn't have to look to know that there were two more posts like this one not too far away.

He'd been sitting right here. Listening, waiting for her to get a grip on herself…

Hoping.

Nervous.

He'd said, slowly, that he was nervous.

Her hands came up abruptly. One to clench at the fabric covering her chest in pain and the other to clamp down tightly on her mouth, though she wasn't making a sound… It just felt like her ribcage was splitting open and the rest of her body was just waiting to feel the same. Somehow, she managed to stay standing, small shoulders shaking, bent over only a little, crying only a little…

She would only cry a little.

Please, just let me cry a little.

Please.

I promise, it'll only be a little… Because…

Because it hurts the most here.

OOO

His brows were pinched forebodingly. Any other man just a tad less bone-idle would be shaking from the amount of anger he was trying to stifle, but his muscles had memorized what it felt like to be relaxed. They couldn't help it, really, for his brain was always so busy, they had to conserve his body's energy someway.

He looked to the right out of the corner of his eyes. Facing the window, only her back was visible to them—the bottom half of the Haruno circle now visible from her much shorter hair. Her hands were also behind her back, resting against the curve of her spine, both still slightly encased in bandages and clutching the other firmly.

Koharu and Homura were sitting stiffly in front of him.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and pinned them both with a look that could freeze magma.

"For your betrayal to the former Hokage," his voice a monotone that was somehow more fearsome than one imbued with the rage he felt, "you will both hereby be removed from the Konoha Council. Considering your age and past achievements, you will not be thrown in prison, but be under house arrest for the remainder of your days. The Daimyo agrees with this sentence."

The shriveled heaps in front of him were both speechless. At the way their eyes blazed, Shikamaru wondered how two such great ninjas turned out to be such prunes. Weren't grandmothers and grandfathers supposed to be nice and give candy?

Sakura was already out the door, the slight swish of her red dress and the click of her heels followed by the breeze of lavender and mint he was expecting. Shikamaru stood as well, readjusting his Hokage robes and giving the elders a mocking nod.

She was waiting just outside the door, leaning against the wall, hands still behind her, bent slightly forward at the waist. Her face was expressionless but for the slight crease between her eyebrows. He could just barely make out the faint outline of her Yin Seal returning.

"You sure you'll be okay?" he asked her.

He heard her take a deep breath in, before she pushed herself from the wall to start walking ahead. His long strides caught up with her effortlessly, although their steps were soon synchronized without much difficulty or conscious thought.

"It's not that far," she said finally.

They'd reached the end of the hallway. She pushed open the door, holding it open for him as the two ANBU just behind it bowed their heads in salute. Shikamaru gave them a simple look before they vanished, beginning their shift of patrolling the elder's stately home, now prison.

The sun was weak today, but he was grateful. No sleep, lots of alcohol, lots of cigarettes (he was really trying to quit), and a tired Sakura meant his hangover was epic, was going to stay epic, and lots of shiny, bright lights would be considerably unappreciated.

"Neji said your systems still looked a bit light," he stated casually.

She didn't bother with a, 'You could've asked me,' because he would respond with a, 'But you never answer.'

So instead, she said, "It's only ten miles from the village. It won't even take a day. And I have enough chakra to sufficiently take care of myself if I happen to meet anyone other than my old teammates," her voice sort of drifting off dryly at the end.

"What if something does happen? Shouldn't you at least take someone with you?" he persisted.

Peripherals allowed him to see the slight shrug of her shoulders, "It just seems like something he would've wanted me to do alone."

Okay. Now he was confused. "Not even Kakashi, or Tenzo?" he asked incredulously.

She gave another shrug, saying shortly, "I'd checked. They both don't know."

"So, it's a secret between just you and Sai," he attempted to confirm.

"Most likely," she said, no signs of affirmation in her voice, but when she lied, the outside corner of her right eye would twitch slightly. Luckily and conveniently, he was walking on this side of her. The skin below her eyebrow stayed smooth.

A few seconds of more silence confirmed that this was information Sakura couldn't be coerced into telling.

He sighed dejectedly, saying, "Fine. You're going this afternoon, right?"

They were almost in front of the hospital. Its hideous pink walls were even more hideous in the weak light. Startled, he looked up. The light was rapidly getting weaker as storm clouds foreshadowed their own arrival just on the horizon.

Her voice brought him back to earth. "Yeah. I was planning to leave at 1," she said.

He stopped at the gate of the hospital while she walked on, one hand lifting into the air from its pockets in a 'see you later' sort of fashion.

"Do you think I was too harsh on them?" he asked suddenly.

She paused, stood still for a second, then turned around and started walking back towards him. Pinning him with those green eyes, she asked quietly, "Why do you say that?"

He brought his own hand up, but to nervously scratch his ear. If he ever runs out of Yamanakas and Ibikis, he could just assign Sakura to conduct interrogations.

He shook his head, unsure, before admitting, "They're old. And respected, in their own way. It doesn't feel right."

Sakura let out a tiny breath as her forehead wrinkled in thought—in understanding, but still unsure of how to comfort him. Her lips pursed a little bit before she said plainly, "Considering how just a few days ago, you were willing to have them banished, I'm pretty sure house-arrest is not so bad. Besides, inactivating their status might actually help brighten things up around here." Her hand reached out to grip his shoulder reassuringly.

She smiled a bit before saying quietly, "You did fine."

Shikamaru couldn't really help but smile a little bit back before looking away with a huff and a typical, muttered, "Troublesome."

"It certainly is," she agreed softly, as she turned to renew her trek back towards the hospital. It was only when she had completely disappeared behind glass doors, and red and pink and every bright damn color he could think of was gone from his sight that he turned around himself to begin walking back to his own workplace.

It was only when he was settling into his chair, and after an assistant had rushed in with a nice cup of tea and an unwelcome stack of files, that he realized he'd forgotten to tell her to come back safely.

He swiveled slowly in his chair to prop his feet up on the windowsill behind him and lean slowly back.

He laughed a little before closing his eyes meditatively.

She already knew.

OOO

This was possibly the first mission she'd ever attempted with little to no chakra. Neji wasn't lying when he'd told Shikamaru that her systems were weak. He just didn't know that the weak chakra flow he could see was in the process of being converted into a state that could be preserved in the Yin Seal slowly returning to her forehead. Therefore, she didn't actually have any useable chakra at the moment.

She could run, though. And through throw everything within reach with effortless accuracy. And close-hand combat wouldn't be a problem.

She swallowed hard, trying to quell this almost invasively foreign feeling of vulnerability that was causing her glance around her too frequently and unnecessarily. She'd forgotten what it was like to be without control over her chakra.

Truth be told, she did not feel safe.

Momentarily distracted, Sakura paused, huffing a little as she swiveled around in an attempt to identify the surrounding trees and landscape. She was supposed to be here…but where was the particular stone formation next to a pine she was looking for? She squinted and pushed past a few bushes before stopping short before exactly what she'd been trying to find.

It wasn't a particularly special pile of stones or an astonishingly beautiful tree. It was the raised pile of clearly upturned earth in front of a small, blaringly white stone slab that made her throat close and her muscles freeze painfully.

Her movements toward the small, renewed grave were hesitant, but not slow. Kneeling, she ran her fingers across the stone.

Tomio had been here.

She blinked rapidly as her breathing attempted to hitch in spite of herself. Swallowing frantically, she busied herself by taking off her padded backpack. Gently laying it on the pine needle-dusted ground next to her, she opened in carefully, pushing aside cloth to reveal a simple, lacquered box.

Not letting herself sigh or think or feel, she began digging a small hole next to the raised bit of soil marking the place where Sai had detected his brother's remains and probably buried some keepsake, most likely the picture book he'd drawn of the two of them. She hadn't seen him with it since he left to go visit the grave. It didn't take much time for her to push aside enough dirt for a hole deep enough for the small container. However, after she'd let it rest softly inside the small crevice, she found her hands immobile, reluctant to push soil back over the shiny ebony surface. So she closed her eyes and kept them closed until both of her hands stilled about five inches above from where Tomio's ashes rested. She didn't want to see any part of herself bury him. And she was sick of forcing herself to be brave all the time. No one was watching now. No one but herself.

Not clapping the dirt off of her palms, she sat back, hugging her knees tightly as usual.

It was a melancholy place to be, she thought honestly. There was an eerie silence that was so full it couldn't be empty. Though there were no sounds or sights of birds, insects and other wildlife, the denseness of this particular coniferous forest had her suddenly aware of how much she took for granted her definition of being alive. Was she too as empty as she thought she was?

Still.

Her attention solemnly reverted back to the people whose remains she now rested beside. It took only a few more moments within this dark place for her to realize that for the second time in her short life, she wanted to be where they were.

OOO

He wasn't sure anymore.

What is familiarity if it's not what he was feeling right now, as he trudged through this particular forest? With him?

Or, if anything, that girl.

Who was he if he had known her? His eyes narrowed pensively. If he could be certain of anything, he'd known her.

His deep hood concealed his entire face. There wasn't much to see through this rain, though.

Teme was walking right in front of him.

Should he ask?

He'd been playing with the idea since that fight back at headquarters… But. Teme had saved his life, was his friend, was always there to joke around with, laugh with, fight with… He trusted him… His relationship with Sasuke felt real. So why didn't anything else? And he could've sworn Sasuke knew the girl… There wasn't much talking between the two, but the way they looked in each other's eyes when they fought—they certainly weren't strangers. He blinked and frowned as he remembered those green eyes, and that pink hair, and that cute forehead. The way the girl looked at him when…

His foot slipped a little on a slippery stick. He spun unnecessarily to regain his footing, just for the heck of it. Hey, spinning in the rain was hell of a lot of fun! And Teme hadn't talked and/or responded since they started heading towards Konoha… Probably because this was so important to him, but still! A guy's got to sneak in some fun where he can, right?

Well, he'd make sure to get some answers out of this escapade. They were going to separate for part of the plan. Maybe he could use that time to find out what he needs. Maybe things are just the way they are. Maybe his head's just being chewed out by a pretty girl.

Maybe if he finds her before Sasuke does, he could ask her?

NO, that's crazy. She's one of the leaders of the village that killed Sasuke's family and is now trying to kill Sasuke and himself! There's no way he could compromise protecting a friend (and his own dear life) with a whimsical idea. This place apparently drove him out at as well, just for being Sasuke's teammate. He couldn't remember the incident because of the accident, so he couldn't feel much animosity, but objectively, that's a pretty harsh thing to do to a 12-year-old kid.

He sighed out loud a little. As expected, Sasuke ignored him. Yet, miffed, he still sniffed louder. As expected, Sasuke ignored that as well. Whatever. He'll give up. For now.

He still didn't feel too hot about what they were going to go do, though… Sasuke said it was a preemptive strike as well as one of revenge, but wouldn't offer any further explanation. Sasuke just told him, "It was before you can remember. A lot of your memory was lost with the head injury you got when they attacked."

He studied the dark form ahead that was Sasuke moving much more swiftly and silently than he was. Now there is a guy to try and beat. He grinned. Too bad Teme is a best friend! His lips settled in a decisive thin line. He believed Sasuke. Sasuke was his friend since they were kids (he knew that for certain!), helped him remember all of his powers and how to use them (even though he still forgets some of the names he had for them), and never abandoned him. And even though Teme didn't show it, he definitely liked him.

"Dobe, any slower and I'll have to do this by myself."

Yep. Sasuke liked him all right.

OOO

She'd been within viewing distance of the gates when she already felt something was wrong. The doors were closed, patrols were running frantically to and fro along the wall, and there was just a reek of fear in the air that betrayed any modicum of security.

Sakura quickened her pace, her heart racing faster than she was capable of moving. Scaling the wall, she flipped onto the nearest parapet. Two shinobi saluted and urged her to go to the hospital at once—the Hokage had requested she go there immediately after her return.

So she was running, running with every sore, tired fiber of muscle she demanded to keep working. It wasn't that far.

The glass doors of the Emergency Unit banged open at her entrance. Nurses were scuttling to and fro, fresh blood on a few of their smocks. Upon spotting her, multiple staff members seemed to try to pull her into different operating rooms, the lights above each once indicating a patient staggered between life and death inside. Throwing off her traveling cloak, she demanded the patient logs of each. Her face fell and froze as she held the three in her hands.

All were genins.

Chouji's genins.

But she didn't have time to ask.

The girl, work on the girl first. She was closest to heaven's door.

She ran, barely managing to get into an operating smock. Bursting through the doors, the sight that met her was essentially one of the worst a med-nin can receive in his or her life. The small girl's nervous system had essentially exploded from the amount of electricity that had poured through it. Third degree burns essentially covered her feet and legs. Where the jolt had entered her body—the ninth and tenth thoracic vertebrae—the bones had been completely pulverized and her remaining abdominal organs weren't faring any better. Seven doctors were keeping her alive by focusing on her central nervous system. Sakura waited impatiently as a nurse snapped her gloves on. She had no idea how this girl's teammates had managed to bring her back still alive in this state, but she wasn't going to waste their efforts for nothing.

The faint reserves on her forehead and the healing chakra that had been occupying both of her systems flared, as she concentrated it all into her hands. Beads of sweat had already started to form on her forehead as she slowly placed her hands on the girls burned feet. This girl couldn't be a future kunoichi with no legs.

Sakura let herself become lost within the atomic union of her chakra with a foreign entity. The damage was quite severe and she needed to regenerate the cells as fast as she could...

There.

Slowly, she moved up the girl's body, the doctors moving out of her way. They began immediately finishing healing the genin's feet.

She hesitated for a moment at the hole that marked a complete absence of necessary organs and bones. Recreating human matter depended on a certain type of cell she needed to find. Identifying them amongst the millions they were nestled among was no easy task…

Her hair was drenched now. But she had only one more vertebrae to go—the girl's spleen and intestine had been much easier to recreate…

She had fallen to her knees, color gone from her already pale face but her eyes shut tight to help her concentrate, hands almost attached to the young girl's back.

Skin cell renewal…

Sakura bit her lip. She'd have to borrow someone else's chakra to heal the boys in the next room.

Blood cell count restoration…

She was almost done.

She vaguely felt a nurse blot her forehead with a towel. She'd thank her later, preferably not when the possibility of vomiting the minute she opened her mouth was this high.

The green glow surrounding her fingers and palms flickered slightly before fading completely. Sakura's arms stiffly lowered.

She was so dizzy. Even moving to press a hand against her forehead seemed too much of a dangerous task. She ignored the concerned nurses for a minute, just to catch her breath and to swallow down some upchuck, but then gratefully grabbed the hands of two for support as they helped her stand. Staggering, they got her to the door. Sakura wanted to tell them that she wasn't so weak that they couldn't rush her to the next room, but like before, she was afraid they wouldn't really like vomit on their uniforms.

OOO

She was still running.

Why.

Why. Why. Why. Why.

With every impact of her feet against the floor, she felt that question rise in her chest like deoxygenated blood, begging for an answer.

Why?

All three genins had been saved. The youngest boy had been already stabilized by two of her head doctors and four of her nurses by the time she'd finished dealing with the older boy's wounds. She had to drain three nurses in order to finish closing all the small kid's lacerations. Her mouth hadn't moved from a grimace since the beginning of this ordeal. It tightened even further, her teeth chewing the insides of her cheek and lips out of distraction.

They were just kids.

She was stinky, sweaty, dirty, and a host of other horrifically unpleasant states of being. But she's going to him anyway.

Restraining herself from just obliterating the morgue doors into a heap of fine dust, she slammed them open instead and jumped the two flights of stairs down into the main hallway.

The smell of barely preserved carcasses was overwhelmed by the smell of freshly spilt blood and the freshly deceased. Sakura reverted to breathing through her mouth. The morgue was built underground, encased in dark stone, but the air was far from dank. It was so sterile it clawed the moisture from her throat. She attempted to clear her throat, but the appearance of a light as she turned the corner preoccupied her actions immediately. Stopping abruptly for a minute, she stared at the open door only a few feet from her, feeling his chakra signature. Only one, even though she knew there were two people in there…

Her hair stuck to her forehead, the back of her neck, her shoulders—any portion of her bare skin. Her jounin shirt also clung uncomfortably to her back… She swallowed heavily before moving towards that door, though she couldn't help the second pause she took before she entered the room. One hand still lingered on the doorframe as she made herself see another sight she didn't want to see.

Her eyes didn't widen—she was expecting it, used to it. Instead, they creased in pain as her head bent in synch with the shutting of her lids. Blindly, she took a few steps forward.

If the oppressing darkness had been broken by a window or any means of fresh air, she knew he would have wanted to be standing there. There was no such comfort, save a small candle burning pitifully next to the form so clearly defined under a white sheet, resting too peacefully on that cold stone slab.

He stood still as well, the stiffness of his form the only indication he wasn't a statue, cold and lifeless like the person he was standing in front of. The way his head wasn't bent, Sakura could see he was refusing to look any longer at his former teammate and lifelong best friend.

Sakura took a few more steps nearer the results of an Iwa ambush on a simple D-rank at a farm not too far outside the village—the results of a teacher trying to protect his students, even when the cost of his own life wouldn't guarantee the safety of theirs. She had long since forgotten exactly when she'd opened her eyes, but if Shikamaru didn't want to see the freezing reality of Chouji's body, she had to at least be the one to.

This wasn't the first dead body she'd seen. It wouldn't be her last.

Whatever she needed to tell herself to keep herself numb to this wretched ache climbing its way from her mangled heart to her head, its journey as scrambling and unsettling as a willing leap off of a cliff, straight into a storm-riddled sea.

She was standing right behind him, though a little beside him, now. His hands were too deep in his pockets. Tentatively, she studied what little of his face she could see—mostly hidden by his cheekbone and ear. His eyes were dry.

Slowly, she reached out to touch his shoulder, her hand too light to apply much pressure, but she knew that he was searching for the littlest sign of sympathy—she'd been exactly where he was standing. At her touch, he turned towards her slowly. He didn't look at her, just stared into the space between them. It was the look in his eyes that scared her—the frailty, the emptiness. And the fact that she couldn't do anything to fill that void, that she couldn't utter any words of comfort that would patch that raw wound, that he was feeling as though his body was breaking but still functioning just to spite him…

What could she do?

Slowly, wordlessly, he moved. It was only the slowest, slightest bend of his neck. They were close enough, that in a few drawn out moments, his forehead was resting on her shoulder. Nothing else moved—neither he nor she was willing to intrude the other's space any further.

Sakura stayed as she was, willing to wait for him to be all right… But she caught herself moving her arms anyway. The skin of his cheek felt cold against her neck, his breathing a slight movement against her clavicle. Her arms faltered in their motion towards him, the dying throes of the small flickering candle beside Chouji's prone form signaling the return of her arms to her sides.

He wasn't mumbling. His voice was too near her ear for his low voice not to be heard, but his voice was as clear as if he were speaking to her from a longer distance away, "We've been in this so long…"

She blinked slowly, preventing herself from shutting her eyes completely. She willed them to stay open against the darkness surrounding them. She had to.

She heard him take a shaky breath before he continued, "But I still don't understand this—any of this…"

Sakura felt her lips move, but she expected them to falter as well—they didn't fail her. Her voice didn't provide an answer, and he was too close to see even a hint of one in her eyes.

She did stiffen at what he said next. In a tone that frightened her even more than his eyes had, he whispered into her throat, "…What do I do?"

She surprised herself, when she felt her eyes fill and her answer die against her lips as she swallowed heavily. For some reason, she suddenly remembered what Sai had said into her ear with one of his last breaths… She'd forgotten. His voice had been so quiet, and yet so loud, against the screaming in her head and around her. Panicked, she hadn't really known what she was saying. She now remembered asking the steadily more lifeless form in her arms that same question… He'd told her…

Intrinsically, she knew she had to tell him the same thing.

_He'd told her…_

Her hands clenched into unsteady, shaking fists.

"Keep going," she said.

Finally failing, the candle cast them into a temporary shadow of darkness—undertaking what she could not.

OOO

Less than a week after three funerals, Konohagakure had found itself conducting another one. To Chouji's, for Shikamaru and Ino's sakes, she had been early and steadfastly remained at the forefront of the crowd, beside them both.

Both had cried. Both drank a lot that night. Both ended up throwing up. Neji helped her get both to Shikamaru's home.

She had urged Neji to leave, as he didn't look like he was handling the constant barfing very well, but he insisted on staying. She and he mopped Ino and Shikamaru's foreheads, floors, garbage cans, pots, and bathrooms. They'd had to braid Neji's hair to make sure it didn't touch any upchuck—it was too late for Ino's.

Sakura had to leave momentarily to handle administrative business in lieu of the Hokage, but by the time she was back mid-afternoon, both were up, conscious, and wishing hard that they weren't. Neji was feeding both some weak tea and rice gruel.

Shikamaru didn't talk or look anyone in the eye. After he showered and changed his clothes, he made his way to the Hokage Tower, although he probably knew Sakura hadn't left any work for him to do. He probably just wanted to lean back in his chair, facing the window, with his feet propped up against the sill and Konoha's skyline in front of him.

Neji left with Shikamaru, so Sakura had busied herself in the kitchen while Ino showered and changed into spare clothing she kept stashed in Shikamaru's underwear drawer.

Swiftly and silently, she'd prepared enough food to last both a few days, basically using all of Shikamaru's spare food, spare containers and stuffing his refrigerator to within an inch of its life. By the time she folded away Shikamaru's kitchen apron, his kitchen table had two place settings and its dishes covered. The dishes that needed to stay warm were left in the oven at a low setting.

When she'd glanced towards the living room, she'd seen that Ino had lain down on the main sofa, her still damp blond hair hung over it's arm, while her eyes were staring blankly out the window. Sakura grabbed a spare blanket from the linen closet and draped it over Ino carefully. Her hand lingered on top of Ino's damp head.

Ino didn't respond.

"When Shikamaru comes home, make sure you both eat." Sakura had tried not to wince at how loud her voice seemed against the heavy silence.

Even after she'd left, that silence seemed to linger with her. It was almost like a bad song she couldn't stop humming, or a wet wool coat that she couldn't peel off yet. And all she was doing was sitting in the middle of her own sofa, showered and ready for bed. Yet she couldn't connect to her present. The only things her mind was letting her revolve around, were Ino and Shikamaru's faces, Chouji's, Sai's, and Kiba's swimming in and out of her mind, their features already beginning to blur.

Sasuke and Naruto's faces were just feelings now.

Sai had left all of his paintings and sketches to her, though he asked that she distribute a couple to Rookie 9, Tenzo, Kakashi, and Naruto. She'd looked through them, and hadn't found the heart to put them away again. So, like wafer-thin companions, they dotted the floor, coffee table, and sat next to her on the sofa.

She wasn't aware her eyes were open, though the lights were still on in her living room. From her fingers dangled the sketches Sai had wanted her to give to Kiba and Chouji. By chance, she blinked and her attention was focused onto a light charcoal sketch of herself on her living room floor three feet to her left. He'd caught her in the middle of turning, her hair wrapping her back like a sweater about to fly off. He hadn't been kind to her face, targeting every dark shadow, every crease of exhaustion. Truth was never kind.

Did she still look like that?

She leaned back, her head resting against the top of the sofa, and her eyes blinded by the lights of her ceiling lamp.

If he were here, would he have answered her truthfully?

The two small scroll paintings in between her fingers, slowly fluttered to the ground, not so different from leaves drained by the onset of a cold winter.

She closed her eyes.

OOO

A week more. Yet, no Konoha shinobi was given any reprieve.

Any resident of Konoha with the slightest skill in controlling chakra could sense them coming.

Sakura's hand tore into her pillow as she curled up tighter into a ball to prevent herself from exploding into a million sharp pieces.

The arrogance. The shamelessness.

Those two…

She cursed them and their destinies.

They were advancing. Taking their time and not bothering to conceal their enormous chakra signatures, they made it clear they felt Konoha needed a week's warning to prepare for their arrival.

A little after her teeth gritted as far as they could go without chipping enamel, her green eyes shot open in glittering defiance.

It was defensive, this anger, because they were right. If anything, a week's warning would only supply Konoha with a few more hours protection.

She flipped onto her back, her arm coming up to cover her eyes, although it was still night and there was no light to escape from. She'd been preparing, and preparing heavily. Shizune had to take over leadership of the hospital completely while she ran around trying to patch up any glitches in their defense while playing around with multiple strategies in her head. She'd found a few grey hairs growing near Shikamaru's right temple. Shikamaru in turn had found a couple of hers growing at the center of her hairline.

Sakura stayed exactly like this until the first rays of a new morning stretched into her room. As if they'd set fire to whatever part of her skin they touched, she sprung from bed, mindlessly going through the motions of washing her face, brushing her teeth, and the like.

The clothes she threw on were reminiscent of those that she put on for missions, though not exactly the same. Her boots were the same, but she wore her red quipao dress, it's double high slits swaying with every movement of her spandex short clad legs. The Haruno symbol decorated her back as well as the front of her dress, around her knees.

_Ino and Shikamaru had been much better lately. Both had started to grin again, although they were inseparable and still talked only when they had to. But Sakura found herself smiling more just for their sake. Her low, sweet, and steady laugh was a constant undertone of the rumble in all the restaurants and bars they went to. She always felt her smile grow larger when she succeeded in getting them to laugh as well. _

_She hoped they'd never suspect how sorry she felt, with every giggle, with every second that ticked by. _

She glossed over her jounin vest, the few scrolls she knew she needed simply attached to her black utility belt. Kunai, shuriken, senbon were packed.

_The few times she managed to visit the hospital for the most severe operations, she knew she was confusing the nurses. Bewildered, they responded to her warmth with mixed levels of confusion, surprise, and appreciation. The ones who'd known her before Naruto had died seemed the most relieved. Sakura was hoping for as much. That person then was who she was trying to be now. _

_She reassured herself that she wasn't pretending anything, and just kept laughing. _

Her hair was loose. No Konoha hitai-ate was anywhere. Its presence would've been an unnecessary reaffirmation of what she was fighting for. She opened her closet slowly. It was white. That was why she saw it immediately, she reassured herself. Setting her lips into a grim line, she reached for the coat he'd given her those long years ago, in that long ago moment, and pulled it on without another moment's hesitation.

_Kakashi didn't question her smiles, although she felt the way his eye would linger on her back whenever she turned away first to head on home. She trained vigorously with Rock Lee and went for post-workout walks with him, though staunchly refused to run four hundred laps around Konoha before the sun went down. She visited Neji and Hinata for a quick chat and medical check-up for both. She played around with Ten Ten's genins. Ten Ten's little girl wouldn't leave her side for the entire training session, and had managed a small 'goodbye' when she'd left. _

Resolutely, she walked towards her dresser, where the picture frame's back glared up at her sullenly, the sheen of its velvet undercut by the amount of dust that had settled within its fibers. She didn't bother lifting the frame back up. She immediately removed the back and pulled out the picture, not looking at it, just folding it and placing it right over her heart, inside the front of her dress, nestled within her chest bindings.

She left her bedroom door open as she made for the front door, her gloves slowly sliding over her hands. The lights were already off in here. Once she did reach the door, however, she halted, looking left towards his painting. She stared.

Removing the paper gently from the tape attaching it to the wall, she folded it tightly and stuffed it into her chest bandages over Team 7's photo. Her gloved palm lingered over her heart. Even through leather, canvas, and cotton, she managed to feel the impressions of paper. Both crinkled in protest at the subconscious amount of pressure she was steadily putting on them…

As selfish as it sounded, she wanted both close.

She took the long way out. No one was up this early. She didn't mind.

They were still there.

The morning air chilled her bare calves, the front and back of her dress and the ends of her robe moving in synchrony with the early breeze.

She felt fine.

Because this was how. She was human, inferior and superior to none. No one's woman, no one was her man. Instead, she wanted to remember the friendships she had—where possession was not an issue, but mutual support was a given. For every great romance remembered, a great friendship hits the heart the hardest, never to be forgotten, always to be taken for granted, until it was too late. She needed to remember those now. She couldn't afford not to.

_Ino, Shikamaru, Kakashi, Shizune…_

When she'd reached it, she didn't run up the wall like she had ever since she was a chuunin. For the first time ever, she gave gravity the chance to fight against her, as she made a perpendicular slow climb up Konoha's first layer of defense.

_Rock Lee, Neji, Tenzo, Hinata, Ten Ten, Shino…_

The shinobi patrolling noted her delayed arrival, but didn't bother her with flashy salutes or greetings. She had been a regular for the past couple of days, and they'd gotten used to the way she liked being ignored, especially when she had that kind of expression on her face.

_Sai, Kiba, Chouji…_

Now standing properly at the parapet, arms crossed across her body while the wind furiously played with the red and white cloth shielding her, green eyes squinted against the dawn and at the grey mass of thundering cloud stepping into the horizon.

She didn't feel the need to prove herself to anyone anymore.

She was here. And she was herself.

Haruno Sakura.

Her forehead smoothed, it's creases of concentration relaxing, while the lines radiating from the corner of her eyes and on the bridge of her nose disappeared, even though the daylight was getting stronger and the darkness in the distance was getting closer.

Her fists relaxed and now simply rested against the white silk of her forearms.

_I am Haruno Sakura. _

OOO

He didn't know why he was out this early. He'd woken up, and stayed up, but it was so unlike him to move immediately after. It wasn't intuition. Neither was it a foreboding premonition. It was just a push. He'd felt some sort of push. It sort of rushed him out of his apartment, although he wasn't entirely sure. Ino was still sleeping soundly on his couch, so it couldn't possibly be…

He ignored the feeling. He didn't want to know until he couldn't hide from it anymore.

So, he was now walking through Konoha's various streets, too fast and too sure of some yet unknown destination to be strolling. He found that he had taken himself to the wall.

Confused at the apparent dead end, he searched around him, frustratingly running a hand through his loose hair—he'd forgotten to tie it after he'd woken. Left, right, around, below. It left only one place—

Shikamaru looked up, shading his eyes from the sun.

He felt his stomach coil. He ignored it. Not yet, it wasn't supposed to be yet.

Yep, she was there.

His form flickered before it landed next to hers, both of them held up three hundred feet from the ground by brick, concrete, and painted plaster. Even though he was only a foot away from her, with her arms crossed over her chest, she was still as a statue, white coattails waving in the wind like frayed wings, looking out to the main road from Konoha. Her stance didn't ease as he straightened. She simply remained as she was... Staring. He cleared his throat a bit and wondered how to break the stiff silence.

At first, all she did was remove a hair band from her wrist and toss it towards him gently. It was only when his ponytail was messily back on the crown of his head that she broke the silence for him, voice low, soft and disappearing before he was certain he heard it: "They're almost here." He turned to face the road—the darkening and growing grey mass scarring the horizon an affirmation enough for both of them. He studied her out of the corner of his eye. Her hair only reached her shoulder blades now. Its movement against her neck and across her forehead and the sides of her face contrasted sharply with the stern expression hardened there.

"Yeah," he replied, just for the heck of it, "they're not really making any efforts to be discreet..." He opened his senses more thoroughly. And frowned. "Where's their army?" Sakura shook her head slightly, "The two of them are enough to take out a country. And they know it."

Shikamaru let out a breath that wasn't exactly a scoff. He moved to rest a hand on her thin shoulder.

"Let's go eat and start Defense A," he said shortly, stifling a yawn. "Since it looks like those two are going to make it here in an hour, we'll need all the strength we can get—"

He cut himself off as he felt the inordinate amount of chakra underneath her skin. There was foreign chakra stored in almost every available cell in her body, and knowing Sakura's abilities, she had an iron grip on every particle of energy in her. It was a miracle she hadn't turned blue.

His hand almost felt like it was being removed from a magnetic field, as he put in a little more effort to release his hand from her shoulder. There was definite strain involved. After finally pulling free, he opened and closed his fingers, barely feeling the motions, although his hand was right in front of his face.

Startled, and suddenly anxious, he could barely ask as he sharply looked at her profile, "Sakura…?"

One of her hands lifted and lazily pointed ahead of her.

"See that?" she asked softly. "That is my fault," she said, gesturing in front of her, to the dark cloud approaching at a tauntingly slow speed. Her arm refolded back into hugging herself.

She turned her head slightly to look at him with a subdued, sad little smile. "Logically, it's the truth, so it's okay," she said tiredly.

He just stared, his mind working too fast for him, his body being prevented from movement from the sheer horror he was feeling to what he was figuring out.

He froze as she reached out a gloved hand to touch his cheek softly, while the look she was giving him was more intimate than any touch.

His breath caught. _She was wearing her gloves. _

His body was torn between holding her back and reaching out to her. His mouth moved first, "Sakura, just let it go. We can do this together—"

He couldn't remember the last time he felt so desperate.

He was about to grab her hand when he heard…

"Take care of your village, Hokage-sama," she said, her voice soft, unwavering, and her emerald eyes—dark with the stormy conflict that came before peace, luminous because that was just the way they were... He stared, desperately trying to memorize her and buy enough time to do that memory justice, if it was the only thing he'd have left of her…

_Kami… Help…_

But she'd already leapt away, hands shaking slightly as they flashed soundlessly into a series of hand seals. He should've done something the moment he'd noticed that she had her gloves on...

Her voice echoed throughout the space around her, chakra reverberating, thundering from her form: "_Fuinjutsu_..."

The moment she said it, he knew—

_(SAKURA, NO!)_

"_Jinsei Shugo_."

He'd heard the falter in her voice. He'd swear on his life that he heard it.

_Life Barrier… _

When did she make this?

He knew that falter meant that he might never see her again. He sprung into action, leaping after her falling figure, but the four seals she'd placed secretly in a square around Konoha's walls were already activating with sonic explosions and heaven-reaching columns of light that bent quickly to form a dome... His hands hit against an opaque green shield... As if a green glass bowl was overturned on top of Konoha, an entreaty to heaven, to protect it… In exchange for the life of the woman landing below, whose shoulders pulled back defiantly as she straightened, with a deep breath and the belief that she had to atone for the crime of ignorance, of stupidity, of hatred and anger, of ego, of love…

"Anyone could have made them, Sakura!" he heard himself scream as his fists pounded against the partition, tingling from the chakra he was met with. Her chakra... She was already out of sight. Frantically, he pounded weakly against the wall one last time as he looked for her through the foliage and shadow below.

Giving up, he turned towards the patrol near him. "Rip this wall down!" Shikamaru snarled furiously at the surrounding shinobi. They bowed before a few flickered out of sight while the rest studied the green opaqueness in front of them. Most reached out their hands tentatively to touch it in confusion, the warmth and friendly pulse that met their fingertips not a little surprising.

It only took a few more minutes of manic pacing and manic thinking on his part before two jounins flickered in front of him. Shikamaru's expression hardened and his mind wandered further the more he forced himself to listen through their report. When they had nothing left to tell, Shikamaru quickly decided on which defense plans they were left with. The three ANBU who were always near him materialized. He gave them their orders curtly and efficiently.

The village slowly began to rise. Troops were forming. The level of fear and battle-readiness was palpable. Shikamaru could almost begin to taste it on his tongue.

At least they were ready.

He took one last look at the dome she'd left behind, anger and some other unidentifiable feeling conquering his ability to think as he reached out one last hand to it.

Grey eyes blinked slowly shut.

Was this the last time he'd feel her chakra?

The jounin's words flickered through his head.

"_The barrier is connected to Haruno-sama's life force so we can't forcibly take it down without killing her..."_

The hand stretched out against the slab of green energy curled into a fist.

"_A nurse also informed us that last night Haruno-sama had a seal implanted in her heart… It will explode the minute it stops beating…"_

Last resort, if they do manage to defeat her—she'd even use her death to prevent them from harming Konoha…

Shikamaru was shaking now. Anger and fear were the most easily identifiable reasons why. He was too not at ease to try and figure anything else out. Ino was going to throw a fit.

Right before he leapt off to head for his office, his face crumpled and was immediately hidden by his hand. Two deep breaths later and he was a chakra edged blur.

Damn you, Sakura.

_Damn you. _


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Even though she knew she didn't have long before they arrived, she sat down anyway. She'd chosen a rather large tree on the side of the road. Its bark was relatively smooth at her back.

Small favors.

At this distance, she couldn't hear much of what was happening in Konoha, but the way her chakra surrounded the village allowed her to feel it in a way she never knew she could. Although the presences of regular citizens were barely discernable, anyone who could handle chakra was a flaring light behind her lids. She could feel their movements—the formations they were quickly taking against the wall in preparation for when her chakra shield fails. So, Shikamaru chose the plan she wanted him to choose. Underneath her frozen and chapped lips, she felt herself smile. She needn't have worried about his dependability. They thought similarly, after all.

She leaned heavily against the trunk of the tree, trying to ignore the strain containing this much chakra was already causing. She couldn't help but smile wryly at the irony—her mind was screaming at her to run as far as she could and hope no one ever found her ever again, but her body was begging a release from all this unnatural power she'd stored. Her muscles were tensing inadvertently, gearing up excitedly for the oncoming fight.

Simultaneously, she couldn't wait, and she could.

Her hands started shaking slightly. She buried them deep into her dress pockets, grabbing the material tightly, in an attempt to stop it.

Just breathe. Just breathe…

Sakura's eyes closed, squeezing tighter and tighter as she felt their footfalls draw near. When those footfalls stopped ten feet from her, she waited a few seconds before opening them, though keeping her sight trained to the trees across from her. Praying that her nervousness wasn't showing, she bit down and swallowed heavily, the soldier pills she'd been keeping on her tongue dissolving into her system. She directed the extra replenishment towards her Yin Seal. With more expectation than intuition, she suspected she would need the extra help in a few hours.

Her face remained impassive as a flash of light at the corner of her eye and the roar of chakra that reverberated through the surrounding space welcomed the coming of Kirin as an initial attack against the green glass-like dome so glaringly obvious 400 feet ahead of all them. She glanced up at the dark clouds above her. Well, Sasuke brought thunderclouds with him for a reason. A dark pink eyebrow rose only when he managed the technique four times successively—which was no mean feat. She felt Susanoo alight in violet flames around its creator and braced herself for the incoming blows of energy. With severe winds and sonic screams the only indication of their passing, five arrows were shot one by one at the barrier she'd made. She grit her teeth, successfully keeping her face blank through all, though the impact of the fourth and fifth against the shield created a sharp pain in her forehead. She banished it away with grimace of her teeth and a small wince, which she was confident neither of them had seen. Both were too busy glaring at the obstacle in front of them, confused as to why nothing seemed to happening to the dome. If anything, it seemed to be absorbing the attacks as reinforcement.

Sakura gave herself a grin, hiding it behind a fall of hair across her cheek. She felt the tense chakra flares of Konoha's shinobi, all of whom had mobilized in preparation against such visible attacks, rise and fall as Sasuke's most infamous techniques failed against her best and last jutsu.

Continuing to ignore her, her former teammates looked at each other, some wordless agreement passing between them, before Naruto suddenly burst alight with a golden glow edged in orange so familiar to her, she had to force herself to keep looking away. Even if she closed her eyes, she could still see how bright he was, the only reprieve from such light found in the black markings across his shoulders and down his torso.

She barely made it in time to brace herself against the Tailed Beast Ball that was sent careening towards Konoha. Shutting her eyes, she refrained from pulling up a hand to block the shards of dirt, stone, leaves, and twigs that were pushed back in a torrent at the passing of such deplorably destructive energy. The split second it spent raging forward in front of her, she had momentarily been pushed back into the tree, as the force of it repulsed everything within a hundred feet radius. Trees bent with her. Her chakra skin not yet activated, slight shards of stone managed to slice her forehead and cheeks with small cuts. Her white coat was now decidedly not that white.

But nothing could have prepared her for the pain that flared in the tenketsu points of her head as the swirling mass of black chakra impacted with a sonic roar against her chakra dome. Leaves ripped off in masses from trees, a few were stripped completely bare.

As Sakura bent forward slightly, hand gripping her forehead tightly as her face screwed in agony, she missed Naruto reacting in a similarly fashion—one of his hands clawing into his hair as the flames around his form flickered waveringly. Sasuke's dark eyes trailed between both before narrowing so quickly and so slightly, it was immediately erased by a blink and a hard look towards the obstruction in front of him—tauntingly bright against the darkness he had purposefully brought with him.

"Sorry, Sasuke, but I don't want to do that again," Naruto said finally through a grimace. Breathing heavily, he shook his head roughly before giving Sasuke an apologetic grin through his wince. He took Sasuke's lack of response as acceptance. He was getting really good at differentiating Sasuke's silences.

Both turned their attention towards the small pink-haired woman sitting only a few feet from them. She was still again—giving absolutely no indication that she had moved since they'd arrived, as if she'd never been in pain. Her face was empty—almost terrifyingly so, as she sat nonchalantly, comfortably, with one leg propped up, an arm resting on it lightly. She kept leaning against the tree, unmoving, although a trickle of blood was sliding down her chin from where she'd bit down to stifle the cry of pain at Naruto's attack on the shield—though they didn't know that. Further unbeknownst to them, her other hand was out of sight, still in her pockets because it was still shaking from the attack and in anticipation of another one.

Her ears were ringing, but she refused to move. It was this moment that she suddenly realized: she didn't really have a plan. She hadn't really thought about the middle of this fight—just the beginning and end. She gave a self-deprecating shadow of a laugh and tiny shake of her head. This was so like her—to rush into action with the barest skeleton of a strategy. She just hoped she wouldn't get her butt kicked this time, too.

_Over her dead body. _

Finally, she stood up slowly, lazily. Both tensed at her unrushed movements. Good. They remembered what she was capable of on three-quarters of her own chakra and lots of improvisation.

Busy brushing out her coat as she walked from the tree to the middle of the road, she still took her sweet time facing them. She hoped it looked like arrogance and not the trepidation that she was extremely preoccupied with concealing. She thus missed the widening of cerulean eyes as they zeroed in on her coat. Confusion seemed to spread across his features, before halting abruptly at the sudden movement of white and red. The look was lost to all three of them forever, as a kunai was removed from her belt and thrown all the way back to Konoha—its distance and speed aided by the chakra welled right underneath her skin.

At this distance, even with the bare trees no longer hindering their vision, it seemed that the kunai had just disappeared once it met the barrier, momentum not hindered at all as it sunk into pale green light… No. Sasuke's Sharingan narrowed as it eyed the little pile of steel that had accumulated underneath where the kunai had struck. So, it seemed that solid objects, including flesh, would be disintegrated; power, only absorbed.

Sakura stood, waiting. The moment she'd chosen to finally look at the two of them was immediately lost among the pile of other pointless, nostalgic memories she had of them. At this point, she felt like she didn't remember much. And if she did, it was useless…because they both were the same. Sasuke's ponytail was only shorter, though his bangs grew enough to shadow his eyes much more easily. Blue steel armor covered his shoulders, arms and calves. It'd always been his favorite color, she supposed. Naruto had cut his hair some, not helping the pang she felt whenever she couldn't avoid looking at him, as he looked almost exactly how he did before he'd died…

He was in all black, though. She couldn't help but frown a little. It was strange for him to not wear some bit of orange—

"It's 360, isn't it," Sasuke cut in.

Underestimation from Kakashi, she would tolerate, and only because she knew it was nigh impossible to teach an old dog new tricks. Underestimation from Sasuke?

A vein throbbed in her temple, as her scathing voice bit across the space between them, "You aren't stupid enough to think I'd leave Konoha unprotected from below, are you?"

His head raised slightly, his eyes too strange to be vacant. And so unbelievably unfamiliar… He then asked, "How do we get rid of it."

Sakura stared at him in a mixture of disbelief and repulsion before she closed her eyes, counted to ten, and forced herself to breathe in tolerance and breathe out her short temper. Poor Sasuke was used to getting what he wanted easy. Might as well oblige him then, for old times' sake.

Slowly, she glanced behind her, wind hiding her face behind her hair from them, pushing her towards Konoha, to the one place that held all the people she would do anything to protect... "How to get rid of it," she repeated quietly, barely. It wasn't so quiet, however, that the lack of a question, and the lack of an answer, was not obvious.

Her hands twitched, and with two clouds of typically grey smoke, they were immediately resting heavily on the hilts of her old two axes, that were clearly objects of nostalgia for Sasuke, if the sudden creasing of one eyebrow was of any indication.

Sakura shut her eyes momentarily, as she felt herself waver. She'd been expecting this, but apparently she hadn't prepared herself enough. Her lids rose slowly to unveil two steely eyes. Being near him again, especially when it was again on opposite sides of a battlefield, was threatening to tear her lungs apart.

And here she was again, facing them yet again. Would the circle never cease?

Sasuke... _Naruto_...

She avoided those blue, blue eyes; it was safer to just look at Sasuke. Her stance widened defensively as her hands moved to grip the handles of her axes.

"You have to kill me," came out bitingly and suddenly, "though even then, you'll never destroy it." Her teeth bit down in a grimace. Pulling through her clenched teeth, she managed mockingly, "And that's a promise of a lifetime." Naruto's face twitched, a brief unsettled look suddenly sketching over his face. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed this hesitation, trying not to falter once she observed the change in his mien.

_Did he—? _

This was becoming a habit of Sasuke's, to cut her off with the swing of a sword, usually aimed for her neck.

Her hands gripped her axes with an audible creak of leather before they swung forward.

OOO

Shikamaru had put on an old-fashioned, new-technology-ridden, plain grey suit of armor, reminiscent of what the previous male Hokages had worn. Somehow, he felt, this might not be the day he'd need to wear it. Purely for show, at least it wasn't orange like Naruto's had been.

They were all gathered at the wall, the more experienced, higher-ranking shinobi waiting at the top, looking down at the gradually more disintegrating landscape growing in front of their eyes, the three causing it essentially purple, blue and gold-orange blurs.

Lower-ranking troops waited nervously, albeit in orderly platoon formations, at ground level, eager to watch the fight, but well aware that there was no space left on the parapet.

Ino had awoken from her bereavement-induced daze to spit out a blasphemous amount of profanity, enough to make even Kakashi's eyebrows rise. She was a thundering purple-clad, tempestuous and dangerous ticking bomb, just waiting for someone to ask her why she was pacing like a mad bull, so that she could have a reason to unleash hell. Unfortunately for her, most people on the parapet knew exactly who she was and what exactly she was capable of. Hence, she was avoided like she had some incurable, highly contractable disease.

Shikamaru turned his attention back from his frazzled teammate to the exact object of her profanity fighting for her life below.

Baka…

Why did she always pull this noble, self-righteous, self-sacrificing crap all of the time?

Screw nobility, she literally trapped them all in here! Shikamaru's fists cracked the stone they were resting against even more. He hadn't realized that those on the wall were avoiding him as well, unless he called for them specifically. He hadn't realized the amount of anger radiating from him. He hadn't realized yet why he was so enraged. He hadn't realized that he didn't care. All he wanted was for her to be safe.

Was that really too much to ask for?

OOO

Bracing herself from the amount of unquenchable fire being shot in her direction, she threw her hands together in a thunderous clap, the thumb of one raised from a clenched fist, the other wrapped around it tightly. Screaming from the effort this particular jutsu took, she waited for the steam to billow around her, signifying the fruition of the water vortex she was summoning. The sheer amount of water that evaporated from air was enough to cover the broken, tree-razed ground for several miles in a twister that uprooted whatever remaining trees were left.

Hidden deep within the whirlpool, Sakura used the few moments she had to herself underwater for her broken left ribcage to heal itself—when she'd attempted to throw Sasuke over her shoulder, he'd locked his legs around hers, momentarily paralyzing her calves with electricity, allowing one of Naruto's Tailed Beast clones to deliver a hefty bijuu chakra-infused Rasengan into her side. She'd barely avoided its impact with her heart, although her chakra skin was fortified enough externally and internally to prevent the dire results a Rasengan usually produced on a human body. The pain had almost been enough to knock two crucial seconds off the clock for her to begin her counterattack—a crackling of medical chakra through her frozen calf into Sasuke's leg, leaving him wincing in pain at his multiple sliced Achilles tendon and nerves. Naruto, she'd delivered a roundhouse kick that obliterated his clone on impact, before she'd been engulfed in Sasuke's flames.

The sweat that formed on her forehead and neck were immediately wiped away by the water currents she was wrapped in. She knew she couldn't afford even one injury in this battle, if she could help it.

She burst to the surface, multiple chains ending in chakra-razed scythes swinging out before and around her—all courtesy of Ten Ten—decimating slews of Naruto's clones in their rotations. That genjutsu kept Naruto busy, while she swung around underwater to block Sasuke's katana with a chakra-edged hand. Pushing the blade aside, her kunai slashed for him, senbon shooting from her other hand, he blocked all with ease, though he couldn't escape the nick she gave him when she suddenly melted and appeared behind him—

The water was mixing with their blood—

Her hand shot out for Sasuke's face, his dodging slowed by the water around them, as his chest became vulnerable in the bending of his head back. Taking the opportunity, her boot crashed right in the middle of his ribcage, Susanoo emerging too late as he bent with bones cracked and air escaping his lungs in a rush. He shot for the surface, she not too far behind, as both escaped for air in a burst of disturbed water. The whirlpool she'd summoned had calmed into an open body of water, steadily being absorbed into the ground below it. Their sandals created ripples from where they stood.

Not wasting time to push sopping hair out of their eyes, they rushed for each other, half blind. She feigned right, hit left, spun to parry Naruto's hammer punch, dropping flat on her back to throw him towards Sasuke, flipping upright, she flipped a few times away, just to gain ground. One breath, and back into the fray again, she dodged an arrow from Susanoo, blue skin flaring as it protested angrily at the bare three millimeters that had separated it from the chakra projectile. Before it could reload, she jumped up, and landed a split kick right on Susanoo's helmeted head, her chakra slithering down the apparition to reach Sasuke's armored shoulder, as he dodged the medical bolt to his head. He gritted his teeth as his shoulder muscles ripped, but said nothing else. Instead, she had to move fast to avoid a swipe from the blade Susanoo suddenly produced, and the orange, slit-pupil eyes of Naruto making his way for her in a rush that was possibly faster than the speed of sound. The one way she marked his coming was by multiplying the distance of the two waves erupting on either side of his rapidly disappearing and reappearing figure by four point twenty-eight to discern how close he actually was to her. Her calculations saved her life, as she released her chakra from her feet to drop down into the water the millisecond before his outstretched hand rammed another ball of black energy into her.

Her eyes opened in a rush. Using a burst of chakra to shoot her up to the surface, she just made it into the air as Sasuke set the water ablaze with enough electrical currents to momentarily turn it a blinding white. Sakura's hands flew into a series of seals—the water disappeared into channels below, the dry earth absorbing it greedily, ready and waiting for her to use them again.

Naruto had followed her thirty feet up—

After a predictable string of midair taijutsu, she managed to grab his clone's arm, twist out from an attempted headlock, break the offending arm at the joint, and falcon punch his clone into oblivion, just in time to swing around and falcon punch Sasuke with the same arm before bringing up another leg to block his kick—

They let gravity take over, and Sakura used the momentum she was able to get from pushing off of Sasuke's katana blade—which she'd blocked with the flat of her foot—to comet down towards the ground ahead of them to disrupt their landing.

There was a moment of voided silence as her blue-tinged punch met the already split earth, precluding the usual resulting crater and a sizeable grade of seismic activity, as she sent her chakra to the tectonic plates miles below them.

Susanoo kept Sasuke's form still, while Naruto perched on the violet abomination's shoulder. They withstood the earthquake. She gritted her teeth. Hands into seals again—

The earth around her kept splitting in sonic cracks loud enough to cause her left ear to bleed. Even Naruto clapped a hand over his ear, and Sasuke's nose pinched momentarily. At the sudden steam that began to trail from the cracks, both men's eyes opened wide. Her hands not stopping forming their seals—forgetting about the sweat that was now soaking her hair—the moment she was brought to her knees from the force of the jutsu she was performing, she rammed her fists into the ground.

Magma flowed upwards a split second after her fists touched the ground, spitting out in raging geysers before the streams of it swung in purposeful rage towards her old teammates. Gasping hard, she brought herself, shaking albeit, to her feet, reaching her chakra out from her feet, to the magma source below. Moving her hands forward, the magma ahead of her mimicked her movements, attempting to engulf her rapidly moving opponents.

Susanoo widened its defensive stance, trying to stabilize its center of gravity against the tectonic vibrations still occurring and the magma shooting his way. Cursing, Sasuke abandoned his original plan to resist this earth and fire ninjutsu and moved for higher ground. He changed his mind again, and had Susanoo shoot for Sakura's small figure two hundred meters ahead, sword drawn and pulled back to strike—

Naruto cried out, as he stumbled forward, spinning to kick the face of the Sakura that emerged from the rock he perched on after Susanoo moved. A near chakra-less shadow clone, he'd failed to track its movements, and it dispelled quickly and easily. Gritting his teeth, he yanked out the kunai that she'd jammed into the back of his calf. About to toss it away, the movement of his arm was abruptly halted as the green-inked seal written on the blade caught his eye. Confused, he stared at it, before blinking slowly. His breathing was beginning to become labored, as pain flared in his head and his vision began to blur. The kunai slipped from his fingers as he brought his hands up to cover his face, his nails digging into his skin—

He gasped unbelievably, a wild look transforming his eyes and his face as his hands left them. His hands frantically flattened over his torso, widening at the lack of response from the beast he shared his body with. Shaking uncontrollably, he took a winded and unsteady look about him, before focusing on Sakura and Sasuke's fighting forms.

They both noticed.

Susanoo redrew its bow in a hurry, though this time, it aimed at that black clothed, flameless figure in the distance. The string snapped and the arrow careened with a high-pitched scream for Naruto. He unconsciously slipped into a defenseless stance, although he didn't know—he was so confused, so disoriented… He brought his hands up, too unsure to even have his life flash before his eyes—

A white, red, pink blur flashed in front of him, as Sakura garnered enough chakra in one fist to deflect the arrow's course when she contacted the head of the arrow. Sprinting after it, she caught it by the tail before lunging back and throwing it as hard as she could at Sasuke. The arrow lodged itself between the ribcage of the purple beast, and Sasuke fell to his knees at the shock of the blow.

This allowed her a split second… It allowed them this little moment. Quickly, she turned towards him—their eyes met, as they had millions of times before…

Would they have enough time…?

They just stared. In one stretched out moment, he was forced to know everything that had happened while he was not himself—or while he was, he couldn't be entirely sure, he didn't want to be sure… But not now, not when she was so near.

Faint steps forward toward each other, an aching hope that amidst all this destruction they might have a chance…

Sakura leapt for him, but not to embrace him—pushing him out of the way, they toppled head over heels before splitting apart and sliding across the ground on their sides, both winded from having narrowly missed Kirin.

Refocused on Sasuke, Sakura brushed herself off and sped for Sasuke, both her kunai screeching as they slid down the length of his katana to lock at the hilts. Gritting her teeth and glaring at him, she spit out the last chance she'd give him, "Are you not going to stop?"

He scowled, blood staining his teeth red as he attempted slice her torso with a hidden blade from his sleeve. Turning away she landed a back roundhouse on his neck and spun again to redeliver another kick with a little more chakra. Blocking it with both arms, he skidded away from the force of the impact, before he spun to avoid Naruto's Tailed Beast Rasengan.

The dirt on Naruto's face was the same. But it wasn't the same face. Jumping, he flipped to stand right in front of Sakura, close enough that the ends of his coat brushed against her front as he landed. They didn't speak or look at each other, though Sakura moved her hand forward to hold his tightly. Through the dirt and cuts, they remembered this grip… Absence only served to intensify the fact that after so much time apart, they had none left to ease away that separation. To be together was now or never. And that was fine with both of them.

When she removed her hands from his, it was only then that Naruto moved to look at her sharply, though she had already reappeared in a flurry of sakura petals fifty meters away. It was only when she slicked blood from the cuts on her shoulder with her thumb that he realized their old team now stood as an equilateral triangle. Both men followed suit, and as the slaps of all three hands onto the ground were audible for miles, those watching from the walls held their breaths as once again, as a toad, a slug, and a snake rose perilously from the landscape.

OOO

Ino gripped Shikamaru's arm tightly as the destruction before them rose to unimaginable levels. While Sakura's reshaping of the landscape was always meant to be visible, at this distance it simply had looked like the land was reforming itself, with little purple, blue and yellow specks flashing here and there. However, visible gallons of slug poison emitting from the neon-green striped slug, the hefty katana of the black and orange dotted toad, and the enraged hiss of the dark blue snake, all in sizes clearly indicative of their current monarch status, was, to say the least, extremely unsettling.

The shocks erupting from the clashes of the beasts shook the ground for miles, while inhumane screeches roared at volumes unheard of.

Ino and Shikamaru suddenly gasped as Sasuke's snake managed to sink its fangs into the head of Sakura's summon. Sakura's enraged scream echoed as she sprang for the snake, ignoring its owner, to suddenly punch through its open mouth, emerging from the top of the snake's head in a small explosion of brain, bone and blood. She wasn't finished.

While Naruto's toad managed to skewer the snake to the ground, Ino's hold of Shikamaru's wrist reached circulation-stopping levels as Sakura's descent to the ground was barred by a clash with Sasuke's katana. Gripping the blade with her bare hand, a chakra blade flared into existence on her other hand—her eyes widened suddenly. In her rage, she forgot to look away, losing control of her chakra and slumping forward, pitching head first for the ground, Sasuke's head turning with her as he geared for Amaterasu. Naruto's Rasen Shuriken from the top of his toad paused this, while Naruto himself caught Sakura, slapping a chakra infused hand onto the back of her neck, praying that he memorized properly Sakura's method for a non-Sharingan holder to release a victim from Tsukiyomi. She'd had to perform the seal on a few of Naruto's ANBU with some study of and help from Kakashi…

The moment he sensed her consciousness return, he swung her up by her waist, their faces inches from each other before he nodded and she gritted her jaw, turning and stepping onto Naruto's hands as he helped throw her at Sasuke—the increased momentum allowing her to land a bone-destroying haymaker into his diaphragm. Following through the blow, Sakura gripped her old teammate by his front robes and tossed him towards Naruto, who was waiting, now fully alight in his Bijuu Transformation—his whisker scars blackened by Kurama's chakra.

Susanoo met Bijuu Form with a blinding explosion, from which Sakura had to wince and close her eyes from the light—

Searing pain through the left side of her face and eye stunned her as she fell backwards from the blow. That wasn't Sasuke. The Sasuke in front of her was Sasuke. As he raised his arm for another swing at her face, she tightened her lips into a snarl as she caught his swipe by the wrist and flipped him forward, cracking the ground where he landed before he kicked out, straightening— Naruto landing between them literally pushed her away, the sensing of his arrival outdone by the unexpected force of his chakra. She tried to regain footing midair, but miscalculated the sturdiness of the ground beneath her, her foot slipping in her own blood.

The agony of the now blindness of her left eye seemed to block Sasuke's weak genjutsu thrown her way—

She shook her head frantically, stumbling as she got up, tensed for the fight—

She looked down at the relative softness under her feet, realizing with horror that she was standing on Naruto's dead summon. All of their summons were now carcasses, and still being continually mutilated from the much weakened fight between Naruto and Sasuke occurring some distance away—

…Since when?

With a start, Sakura realized the sun was beginning to set… Turning, she sprinted for those two—

She hadn't much offensive chakra left, only the healing chakra on her forehead remained—she'd underestimated herself this time. But she wasn't going to waste it on her eye… She sped up her pace.

Just in case… She couldn't use it yet.

Her lips tightened into a thin line—

A fight between the two of them right now wouldn't be a fair fight.

The movement of Naruto's tails was getting weaker, and although still powerful, the black spheres of energy were much less accurate and much smaller—

She knew her legs couldn't handle much vertical distance, so she quickly formed seals, a successive barrage of fireballs preceding a sludge of earth that moved with the consistency of mud although it hardened into stone too rapidly to be natural. The moment it managed to catch and solidify around his boot, she dove for Sasuke, poisoned senbon raining from her fingers while she flipped and brought her leg crashing down with an ominous eruption of rock right behind him—

Naruto used Sasuke's slight step forward from this disturbance as a chance to send a Rasen Shuriken his way. Sakura spent one costly glance towards Naruto—he wasn't even in Sage Mode and alarmingly pale. Sasuke flashed behind Sakura, out of breath, right arm smoldering, but his left still more than capable—

She blocked his jab and faked a cross before landing an uppercut against his chin—

He flipped away, Sakura and Naruto followed—

OOO

The troops were too tense to sleep. Shikamaru wouldn't let them if they were anyhow.

Everyone had been maddeningly still for near eleven hours thus far. He'd called for mandatory food breaks, but nothing tasted much like anything. His pacing hadn't helped. Kami help anyone who so much as approached him with a cigarette.

Ino hadn't moved, and had tossed the pork bun right back into his face when he'd tried to shove it into her mouth after she'd ignored his five-minute long requests for her to eat it. With visible darkness shadowing the creases of her usually smooth face, her pale blue eyes were transfixed towards the smoke and dust and movement in the distance. For the second time in a row, she'd been forced to just watch Sakura get hurt. For the second time, Sakura was forcing her to just watch, and not interfere.

Shikamaru didn't have Ino's kind of patience. He finally sat slumped beside her on the wall, too tired to lean against the concrete—instead his head was bent almost uncomfortably towards his crossed legs. He stared at his hands.

His useless hands.

Team 7 and their issues… What was it about them that their problems had to become everyone else's?

OOO

She was fighting for two now. Naruto was too tired and making egregious slip-ups. Sasuke was not.

She sank into the ground, catching Naruto's ankle to drag him down with her—leaving him there, she moved to burst out some distance away, that genjutsu momentarily allowing her to slide Naruto and herself two feet away, just enough to miss the Chidori laced hand slicing downward—

With her own chakra cloaked hand, she grabbed Sasuke's wrist, holding on as she reverted his own electricity back into his neural system, slicing his wrist joint in half for good measure. As Sasuke yanked his hand up, she followed, using the movement to knock him off his feet as she pulled her hand back for another punch—

Naruto grabbed her wrist, stopping it inches from Sasuke's bloodied face, his bruised blue eyes creased in sorrow when she whipped her head around to confront him angrily—

She slammed through the genjutsu just in time to duck under Sasuke's katana. Naruto burst from the ground, the blow he managed to slip in after two blocked tornado kicks catching Sasuke's wrist hard enough for the Onkyoukage to release his grip on the sword. Sakura slid forward to catch it, flipping into a stand before spinning to hurl the katana point first for the dome.

A choked gasp left Sasuke's throat as the sword disintegrated with a flash. His remaining one wasn't as attuned to his needs. Unsheathing it with bloody fingers, he took a defensive stance.

Sakura and Naruto took theirs.

They were all done. But none of them could afford to not finish this.

Blood was in each of their mouths, if their stained teeth were of any indication. Sakura's left eye and face were buried underneath still open wounds—blood still sliding down her neck to stain her dress in a streak down to her thigh. Her gloves consisted of two tattered strips connecting her thumb and two forefingers with her wrist, and one band across her other thumb and palm. Her coat wasn't white, though the pallor of skin now was, as was with Sasuke. Naruto's cuts were visibly not healing. And Kurama couldn't help, she knew… If the nine-tailed fox had been conscious, Naruto would've lasted in his final bijuu form for longer and his attacks would have been more potent. The disorientation from a binding genjutsu, however long maintained, wouldn't have affected his abilities to that extent.

Sasuke's right arm was still immobile against his body. His brow was creased defiantly against exhaustion he hadn't felt in years.

Although she'd tried to prevent her Yin Seals from being used, they'd reacted sharply against the bingeing and purging of both her chakra systems, struggling to maintain an equilibrium for her body. Nothing but the slightest shade of green of one remained against the center of her forehead. There wasn't much time left.

Neither was there any reluctance left to do each other bodily harm. All of them were intent on seeing this through to the end, because all of them knew how costly the consequences of not doing so were.

Sasuke made the first movement forward, Naruto responding with an equally desperate energy…

She saw what would happen before it did—she could calculate it, but most of all, she knew, she knew she knew she knew as she sprinted towards them, between them—

If she didn't, neither would make it—

There was the simple low hum of a Rasengan, and the sharp trill of Chidori—

If she did, at least one had a chance—

_When we were little…_

She couldn't—

_You told me not to interfere… _

OOO

The sudden flickering of the green dome startled everyone, mutterings traveling through the forces and the village with sharp alacrity. Shikamaru and Ino stared in horror at the partition surrounding them, as it began to fade with gradual rapidity, the pounding of blood in their heads drowning any chance at thinking rationally.

Ino hurriedly placed a shaking hand at what remained of the dome—it was now the palest of green and the gentle pulse of chakra was so alarmingly weak…

"Shikamaru—," she wasn't sure of how to finish her sentence.

He looked sickened. With a slight turn of his head, he signaled the movement of his ANBU, who flashed behind him in synchronized, smooth formation.

Motioning Ino to get ready, in a voice too quiet to be his, he said, "When the partition fails, we move immediately."

OOO

She'd felt this pain before. She told herself that she'd felt it before.

_Is this what you meant? _

With her right hand, she'd grabbed Naruto's Rasengan-holding right wrist. With her left, she'd grabbed Sasuke's Chidori-veiled right wrist—which he'd evidently been saving for this last technique.

_That if you and he fought, you'd both die? _

She didn't have another pair of hands to block the rest.

_Then don't fight. _

With her right ribcage and lung, she'd caught Naruto's left handed kunai, and with the left side of her torso, she'd caught Sasuke's remaining katana.

_Don't fight. _

With the little time she had, she chose. The wounds of metal were much easier to heal than those inflicted by chakra. With a little more exertion, she stopped the chakra flow from their wrists, effectively dissipating their jutsus.

"…Sakura-chan."

She tried not to move too much as she felt their hands leave the hilts of their weapons. Her Yin Seal immediately disappeared, her wounds glowing green. Holding back a cough of blood from her collapsed lung, she let go of both their hands as she dropped to one knee.

"I'm fine," she gasped. Wincing, she yanked out both weapons, tossing them away. Could they kill each other with just taijutsu?

She then realized the seal around her heart was still active… Should she?

He was kneeling in front of her.

One of his hands rested softly against her neck, as his thumb almost imperceptibly stroked her jaw line.

She searched his face desperately, not wanting to believe that this was all they had left. But, his gaze told her all she knew, all she'd known… They both knew.

Her wounds slowly closing, her timing was worse as she spun up, forwards, and down with an extended fist to deflect Sasuke's Katon ninjutsu with an unleashed slab of stone. Her breath left her, as she scrabbled for the energy to get up, her foot slipping uncontrollably—her wounds had reopened, insufficiently clotted in the short amount of time and little amount of chakra she could afford it. She glanced worriedly at the dome.

If it didn't hold…

Her vision was blurring too fast, though she still struggled to rush for Sasuke and Naruto, who were now locked in the barest of fights, one bridled with luck instead of strategy or strength.

Their sloppy taijutsu was the last thing she saw as she hit the ground, instantly soaking the ground with pints of her blood.

With one shaky blink of her eye—

_The seal. _

OOO

The partition disappeared. Shikamaru and Ino sprang forward, tailed by Shikamaru's ANBU. Kakashi and the rest of Rookie 9 were heading the troops beneath and behind them, but only as cautionary defense. Sakura had apparently lied about how long she could take on her old teammates for. Or she'd just miscalculated.

And, Shikamaru realized, she'd managed to revert Sasuke's work on Naruto, whatever it was. If the seal around her heart hadn't gone off, she'd deactivated it. She would only deactivate it, if…

…If she thought there was some hope.

OOO

Kakashi was still.

He should be the first one out there.

His battalion stayed nervously silent as their general became suddenly more reticent and crass than usual. He was trying to not ignore them, but it wasn't working.

He shut his eye.

How much more karma did he have left to pay?

OOO

When she came to, she could only hear Shikamaru and Ino's voices as they were with her momentarily, Ino's hands at her forehead fleeting, before they left just as abruptly, to join a commotion some distance away.

A nearby thud managed to pry her blood-caked right eye apart. Trying to flip over as fast as she could, she tensed from the agonizing effort. Pulling her right arm out from under her body she reached forward, hooking her hand into a small crevice, and dragged herself forward. Trying to put weight on her knees was useless, just as trying to stand and walk was proving impossible. So she just dragged herself to where he was.

Her body wasn't registering pain anymore.

She ignored the dirt now accumulated into her still open wounds and managed one more sweat-soaked, breathless grab forward before she was near enough to drape her arm weakly over his chest.

He was on his back, his breath labored and forebodingly slow. Like hers, like Sasuke's, his body was simply shutting down. He tried to move his head to look at her. He was soon rendered unconscious from the effort.

The blood in her ears masked the sound of Sasuke fighting Ino and Shikamaru…

Her remaining eye was dull.

Slowly, it rose to fix itself on Naruto's pale, bruised face.

She wouldn't cry.

Her shredded hand covered where she felt his heart give a few last beats against her palm.

She allowed herself to look at him once more, before her eyelid closed slowly shut.

…_Kisho Tensei._

The blue glow leaking and leaving the hand she'd placed over his chest went unnoticed, and was thus uninterrupted.

She didn't feel the tear that slipped down the bridge of her nose.

OOO

He noticed. And he froze. So did they.

Through the dark, the two prone forms were barely visible.

Only one breathed.

He simply stood and stared, while they ran to her, and him.

He turned, so he wouldn't see Ino huddled over Sakura's body, her shoulders shaking, or Shikamaru perform emergency healing on Naruto, trying to forget about everything else and failing from the way his face had broken.

He limped steadily away.

They wouldn't follow. They had other priorities.

The darkness was dry and unforgiving.

'_What'll you do if you defeat Konoha?' she asked. Her long braid lined her neck and fell past her torso. Her eyes didn't glare or accuse, but they didn't look too pleased to see him. Her white coat was new. _

_She said something about trusting him… Trusting that he'd stop on his own. _

_She'd left. _


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 – Final Chapter

She was cremated quietly, with only a few loved ones present, as per her wishes. He and Ino had buried her ashes in the glade Naruto had directed them to, the sakura trees blooming there a subtle reminder of how their namesake was not.

No one cried. No one dared to.

Shikamaru left Ino at her mother's flower shop, trying hard to ignore the shellshocked and gaunt quality of her face. Then again, he supposed she was doing the same for him. At the moment, the only way to deal with what had happened was to not acknowledge it. They'd procrastinate for as long as they could. And even then, there was sake. Copious, copious amounts of sake.

He waited until he couldn't see her through the glass anymore before turning and heading down a path he'd taken so many times prior, he didn't have to think about where he was going anymore. By the time he reached her apartment, he was more tired than he'd ever been, his footfalls echoing his exhaustion as he plodded up the stairs.

He hadn't been drinking, but he hadn't been sleeping either.

Resting for a moment against the balcony, he took the time to look down at the village. His village. The markets were closing. Children were being called home. Shinobi were moving for various parts of the village at various speeds. It was untouched, unchanged, unbroken. Those who had an affinity for earth ninjutsu had taken care of the wreckage Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto had left behind outside the walls. Tenzo had prettied it.

It was as if nothing had happened. For some reason, irritation crawled around his insides like some parasitic worm, quelled only by the simple knowledge that this was exactly what she had wanted, that this was exactly what she had died for... He tasted bile.

He hated being right.

Turning slowly, he knocked on the door next to hers. Unlocked, it opened towards the second knock. The mustiness and darkness of the air that reached out to suffocate him was to be expected. Regardless, Shikamaru took a deep breath, held it, and entered, not bothering to close the door behind him. The room needed all the fresh air it could get.

Striding quickly for the window, he yanked open the curtains, ignoring the responding grumble coming from the lump on the bed. The damn window finally opened after three frantic hard tugs and Shikamaru allowed himself to breathe again, the moment he shoved his face beyond the glass pane, trying not to gasp for air purely out of politeness. He took his time facing the wreckage behind him. The lump on the bed didn't move after it inched away from the intrusive sunlight. Ignoring said lump, Shikamaru took his time to scan the contents of the room with a critical eye.

However much the sunlight now entering the room was dimming, it still revealed a conspicuous slew of sorrow at its worst. Empty sake bottles had become a second floor. At the utter lack of usual laundry and ramen cartons, his grey eyes narrowed.

Striding the two steps towards the bed, he unsympathetically ripped off the covers from Naruto's curled form. Naruto's eyes were open, unseeing, and unresponsive to the sudden rush of cool air and light into the little hovel he'd stayed in for Kami-sama knows how long.

"Get up."

Shikamaru wasn't expecting a response, and he didn't get one.

"You missed her funeral."

Nothing.

"She kept this room spotless. This is what you do to it in a week?"

Still nothing, although Naruto's eyes slowly closed.

Sighing, Shikamaru sat down on the bed, too tired to stand or to care about the filth he was allowing his pants to touch. He allowed himself to pull his hands from his pants pockets, only to provide much needed support to his suddenly very heavy head. His palm felt warm against his forehead.

"…She replaced the glass."

Shikamaru didn't move, though he was startled by the hollow rasping of Naruto's usually full, rich, and boisterous voice… Or at least, that's how he remembered it. He kept his head on his hand as he asked, "What?"

The glass, Naruto wanted to say out loud. The glass—she replaced it. The one I broke.

The only person who could've heard his thoughts was actually gone. She was really gone.

Shikamaru looked behind him at Naruto's still form, at then at the nightstand by his bed, where a happy picture from years ago smiled back at him. They were both laughing in it.

"Did you talk to Hinata?" Shikamaru allowed himself to ask abruptly.

Naruto shifted, and Shikamaru tried not to wince at the sound of this 21-year-old's joints creaking. Now as he was staring up at the ceiling, Shikamaru was allowed a good look of Naruto's face. The condition of it was not shocking only because he'd had experience with it before, when his and Sakura's places were exchanged.

He'd clearly not eaten for days. The alcohol had made his eyes bleary, dry, and bloodshot. The circles under his eyes were tremendous and there was a corpse-like pallor to his usually deeply tanned complexion. He also desperately needed a haircut.

Parched lips moved, saying, "I remember everything. Although, at the same time it feels like I don't…" He was struggling. So, Shikamaru allowed him some more time. Just a few more minutes. Max.

"I told her I'd go through with the marriage, because I'd promised her and I'd made her believe—," he faltered, "She said no. She didn't want to do that to me, because she loved me too much to not let me go." His voice was dry, as was his parched throat. It faded intermittently, and it seemed to take all of Naruto's energy to push through a few more syllables.

Finally, tone so empty it was clearly close to breaking, he announced quietly, "She asked me to stay her friend."

Shikamaru didn't respond, nor did he turn to look at him. The chill of Naruto's voice was enough of a representation of the deadness on his face. There was only so much Shikamaru could take at once.

He looked towards the door that had connected Naruto's and Sakura's apartments. It was rubble, the surrounding walls entirely collapsed in. Getting up off the bed, he walked towards the wreckage.

"Slam the door too hard?" he tried asking nonchalantly, although that same irritation he felt outside was pulsating ever so much more intensely in his gut. It was getting increasingly more difficult to keep it out of his voice.

'_He never believed in balance—that peace couldn't be without chaos. He refused to.' _

_He just watched her as she slowly made her way towards the window. Her voice became steadily more absentminded as she stared out across Konoha's rooftops, the grimness edging her face only emphasizing the intangibility of what she was remembering. _

'_He thought everyone could be happy,' she could've possibly been saying nostalgically if the look in her eyes wasn't so dead. _

_He felt himself retreat inwards, to still feel his breathing, as he watched her say, 'I begged—,' she faltered, 'for the strength to help him keep believing that,' in a voice so quiet and quick, he knew he wasn't supposed to catch the way it broke towards the end. _

He kept facing the wreckage as the words he was trying not to say peeled out of his throat harshly, "Why did you tell me not to tell her?"

Naruto's response came from some distance behind his shoulder, too far to tell whether or not he was still comatose on the bed—though the mattress hadn't creaked any indication of movement, "I don't know. I… I had thought I shouldn't be forgiven, I guess. I didn't want her to have to forgive me."

Shikamaru's nose wrinkled in disgust, although this time it wasn't from the smell. Whirling towards Naruto's closet door, he ripped it open, grabbing the coat that he knew Sakura had ordered the moment after she'd confirmed Naruto was alive. With one heavily restrained toss, hanger and all, the coat landed on Naruto's neck in a whirl of while silk—a replica of the Yondaime's, but for its structured high collar and gold-weighted flame border. Shikamaru watched impatiently with blatantly angry eyes as Naruto moved to sit up, his hollow gaze staring forlornly at the coat. Hands moving slow as he traced over the orange-thread-emblazoned 'believe' kanji on its back, he didn't lift his head as his long bangs shadowed his down turned face. His hands lingered over the space where he was expecting 'courage' to be written, his fingers smoothing over empty white cloth.

Naruto's voice shuddered, pleaded, and whispered like a dead man's, as he mumbled, "There wasn't any time," while repeating the phrase over and over like an insane one grasping at air for comfort and support. The voice disappeared completely once Naruto buried his head into the coat, fists straining, but not at the fabric, possibly in an attempt to not tear it to shreds.

Another time. He'd deal with this shit another time.

With one abrupt turn, Shikamaru made for the door, knowing that he wasn't really leaving behind anything, wasn't saying anything of much help either… Wasn't or couldn't, he'd answer to later.

He stopped, though, when he saw her smile—the ghost of a dimple shadowing the right corner of her lip. It had a way of not stopping once it started, however little it gave against the heavy weight of the hollows too noticeable in her cheeks.

One quick motion into his pants pocket, next to the cool sting of his lighter, the tips of his fingers segued from rough stone to polished, cut crystal. He ensnared his fingers in the cord, two bells chiming almost imperceptibly as he yanked it away from himself and tossed the offending object to a place somewhere beside Naruto. He would've tossed it on the floor, only the resulting thud would've been too much for his already irritated patience.

He left without another word, unaware of the echoes his footfalls were making, the reverberations of every movement lost against this constraining, altruistic comprehension that it was wrong to kick a wounded animal.

They'd deal. They'd all learned to deal with it somehow, someday…

Or they wouldn't.

OOO

12 YEARS LATER

It was strange, that after all this time, he'd find himself kneeling beside a fatally wounded Naruto again. It was just as muddy, just as bloody, but fifty thousand times more uncomfortable, as rain pelted against their heads, taunting him and his task force with the threat of becoming hail very soon.

His ANBU gear was broken beyond repair, useless pieces hanging off his body, more trouble than they were worth to wear. His favorite mesh shirt was the only thing between him and freezing to death, and he regretted ever preferring to wear the flimsy garment.

Naruto didn't seem to mind the weather. His white coat was spread around him where he'd fallen, a spreading stain of blood substituting the left leg and lower torso that had been torn from his body and now thrown somewhere across the field.

Their med-nins had been taken out first. He himself had no chakra left—none of his surviving platoon did. With the rook, bishop, generals, knights, lances and pawns flung off the shogi board, or rendered useless in some insignificant configuration, his Hokage was dying in front of him once more. This time, for real, for good.

Naruto coughed suddenly, breaking movement into his frozen face, that had only shortly before been blinking slowly and steadily, coming to terms with his impending passing with some peaceful familiarity—possibly, with too much familiarity.

With some effort, he shifted his head slightly, blond hair stained brown and black with dirt and blood, now trapped by unforgiving mud. Shikamaru bent lower as Naruto's lips moved weakly, his voice rasping quietly, "Sorry, Shikamaru—for making you Hokage again… No one better."

Despite the significant burns on the right side of his face, he unwittingly, but uncaringly, chose that side to grin with, "Troublesome."

Naruto seemed to want to laugh in response, but suddenly was aware of how limited in time he was again, to convey what he wanted to as thoroughly as possible. Slightly more rushed, thus slightly raspier, he whispered earnestly, voice fading faster than he was capable of maintaining, "I never thanked you enough—for keeping your promise, to take care of her…" He abruptly trailed off, as he blearily focused on some spot above Shikamaru's left shoulder. Shikamaru didn't turn to look, because logically he knew that no one was there. Realistically, no one could be there. Yet, he felt his chest constrict painfully as he watched Naruto smile a smile he hadn't in fifteen years.

It took a few moments for Shikamaru to move. He lifted a heavy arm to place one hand over Naruto's cracked chest armor, now still.

At least—

… _At least._

OOO

EPILOGUE

He was in a gray kimono—the only thing between him and the gusts of wind now so noticeable through his bones. The change in regular outfit began when he'd stopped wearing his mesh shirts on his forty-eighth birthday, when he realized he was more uncomfortable than usual in the fall and winter, and then gradually in the spring and summer. He was still young but years of shoddy healings, useless protective gear, and countless near-death situations meant that his life span was pre-constricted considerably the second he'd walked through the doors of the Ninja Academy as a child. Or more accurately, punted in by his mother.

Another gust of wind almost made his form disappear in a flurry of loose sakura petals. Their few days of glory were almost through. He didn't wait for it to settle, or to clear. Striding forward, he vaguely imagined he felt a couple of mischievous petals lodge themselves into the small ponytail at his neck, and brush against the thick gray streak of hair pulled back from his right temple.

A small white tombstone materialized suddenly—almost too suddenly—as the gale died down, instantly noticeable beside the dark trunks it tried to blend against. Weather and time had trailed brown veins through the cracks in the marble, but in the dark it didn't matter.

Granted, the little memorial was cleaner than one would've expected, hiding in a place so discreet and removed from the main village. Sasuke and his irritatingly meticulous cleaning habits had kept the tomb spotless while he'd been alive and wandering aimlessly, hunted by all but hiding from none. Ripening age found that that last bit made the first bit increasingly more problematic, though one couldn't blame him for actively trying to avoid being seen as emulating Madara. Nowadays, it would just be himself, Ino, and Kakashi visiting regularly. None of them were nearly as nitpicky as the last Uchiha had been.

Shikamaru took a moment to look around… He'd tried to avoid bumping into Kakashi here, as the retired nin was well aware that his punishment for the way he'd lived was life itself. Shikamaru supposed that was the same for all who survived longer than the others, including him. He returned his attention to the stone in front of him, once he was sure he was alone.

Naruto had ordered the stone made and placed exactly so after she'd died. Eventually, his remains came to rest here with her, side by side.

Kneeling, Shikamaru reached out a hand from the warmth of its sleeve to trace the barely visible Haruno and Uzumaki symbols lightly chiseled into the front of the stone.

He hadn't visited for some time, due to tedious overseas diplomatic business or whatever. When he'd come back home that afternoon, he all of a sudden, randomly, strangely, realized he didn't remember where he'd put Asuma's lighter, given that he hadn't used it since the day she'd died.

It took tearing around the house for hours for him to finally find it in the basement, in some random box shoved into and within more random boxes from the past. He didn't expect the deer that usually inhabited his backyard to return for some time, as the stupid skittish creatures were notoriously intolerant of commotion, and especially sudden commotions. Regardless, he found it, albeit rusted, fluid dried, and flint obsolete—though this was to be expected.

He now produced it from the pocket inside his other sleeve, the brass glinting and extremely out of place… She wouldn't mind. It made a soft clink as he placed it upright on the top of the marble slab, like some flag in a sand castle.

_Victory was peace, but those idiots better be waiting for me on the other side. _

An inevitable sigh escaped as he pulled himself up. He wasn't dreading getting older, but being young was proving to be increasingly less troublesome than he'd initially thought. It wasn't until he was about a meter away from the memorial stone when he stopped doubting what he thought he wasn't smelling.

A faint breeze carrying the slightest strain of lavender and mint…

He turned to look back at the stone, where his lighter had been flicked open and on, the tiny flame burning resiliently against the coldness of wind and stone.


End file.
